Mama's at a work conference

My job isn't perfect. But it is one of the best jobs I've ever had. They invest in professional development by encouraging us to attend conferences. They also let me stay at the hotel where the conference is held (always nice).

My digs for three days/two nights.

I'm grateful for this and my previous experiences make me an appreciative person. It's also kind of nice to stay at a hotel all by myself!

I'm also extremely grateful for my family because there's no way I could go anywhere overnight without their support. My husband and mom changed their daily schedules around to make up for my absence. I cannot say enough how much I love and appreciate my village.

Of course, I miss my family. I got to talk to The Bun the past two nights. It's the craziest thing because I talk to this girl every day in person. But when I was listening to her talk over the phone, it struck me how adorable she sounded. I loved listening to her talk and could hardly believe this little girl chatting on the phone is my baby.

They're holding hands. He was knocked out and she was just hanging out.

I've enjoyed my little time away. I was able to educate myself about my field and get a little bit of grown up time and alone time. It was nice but I miss my family - my husband who makes me laugh, my beautiful children and my adorable pups.

My son with his super chubby and kissable cheeks AND fauxhawk<3

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Fallen off the wagon: Well, that was quick!

We whomped up a trip to Maui in less than 6 weeks. This is not typical of Ms. Type A over here.
With all that goes into that, working full-time and being present to a 5 year old and 8 month old (although he is turning 9 months tomorrow!), my dear blog has fallen by the wayside.
Here are snapshots of our trip:

Baby boy's first plane ride and The Bun's first trip to Maui. (I cannot believe this is her 4TH trip to Hawaii. What?!)

Then my iPhone met its untimely demise. These photos are taken by The Man's phone which were scarce because I don't think he trusted me with it. I begrudgingly write that I can't blame him.

The Bean didn't enjoy the heat coupled with the sun. We found a shady spot on the beach and we were blessed with a breezy day. We took a photo to capture his cuteness.

We stayed at Honua Kai Beach Resort which had Duke's Restaurant by the beach. We enjoyed a few meals there. I like this photo because it shows my daughter lounging in her bathing suit. She got to do that for much of this vacation.

Honua Kai offered a complimentary photo shoot. We weren't prepared to for formal photos but that's what I kind of like about it. I wore my bikini with a bright cover up and The Man wore a his bright blue workout shirt. We had baby boy in his brightest onesie and The Bun was the only one who had something that could be called, "fancy." I like how the photos ended up. (Photo shoot was free, photos most certainly were not.)

I don't know the next time we'll be in Hawaii. It was a tough flight for my baby and I don't know if The Man was able to relax. But I'm glad we were able to do it and, overall, I had a lovely time.



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A very good day

Today was one of those rare days that starts off looking blah to mediocre but ends up being a really great day.
I had a day off today and decided to get done some errands that I've been putting off for months. I had to go to the Alameda County Recorder's Office to order The Bean's official birth certificate and file a notarized and updated version of our deed. Fun stuff. I don't know about you but I imagine bad parking and long lines whenever I need to do things like that. Thus my procrastination! But we'll be traveling soon and The Bean needs his birth certificate. Figured I might as well file my seed since I know it could be taken care somewhere in the vicinity.
I asked my mom and dad if they wanted to join me and The Bean. We could go to a restaurant out that way since we're all somewhat homebodies, for various reasons.
My mom thought it was an excellent idea, especially since they wanted to get their car serviced. We were getting all sorts of errands out of the way! Again, not exciting but all things that needed to get done.
I dropped off The Bun at school and headed to my parents' car dealership. I got their relatively quickly that we detoured to pick up coffee for me and a pastry for my mom.
I know I drink decaf but ahhhhh, coffee. It's almost ritualistic for me.
We headed to downtown Oakland and since none of us were going to work or have an appointment we need to make, it was a stress-free drive.
It's the little things I've come to appreciate.
We found close street parking and headed inside the building. I hadn't been there since getting The Bun's birth certificate and I must say, I forgot how relatively easy it was there. They have a desk where you check in and let them know what you want to do. They make sure you filled out the appropriate paperwork and then give you a number. I got both things done in half an hour.
We were done before the restaurant I chose was open. My mom expressed interest in going to a bakery because, since they don't drive much anymore, her pastry places were limited. I yelped (love Yelp!) and found a bakery in Alameda.
I chose nearby Alameda instead of Oakland for one reason. My parents are elderly, we have a many with us so places with parking were much friendlier for our little group.
We found a cute bakery called Feel Good Bakery and wow, was it carb heaven! Everything looked so good. It was housed in Alameda Marketplace which looked like a local and unpretentious version of Whole Foods. It had sushi, wine and cheese, a bakery and grocery store. We parked on the street but quickly discovered they also had a parking lot. Definitely a must return.

The pastries were flawless. But we jostled them about.

My mom then expressed interest in visiting Rock Wall Wine Company, a place I used to be a member of ... before I trimmed my budget:) Love that place. It's a beautiful space that isn't pretentious (notice a theme in what I gravitate towards?) They have a spacious and lovely outdoor seating where we can enjoy the sunshine, good wine and food.

My parents indulged my desire for Vitamin D. We ate a scrumptious lunch accompanied by some delicious wine. My parents and I reminisced when the area used to be an active Military base. How we would go there once a month to go shopping at the Exchange and then groceries at the Commissary.

My parents and I had a great time. The Bean was also on his best behavior.
These moments are rare. We're so busy with day to day life that it's hard to fit in these kind days. I see my parents often and we make time for one another. But I really appreciate these beautiful impromptu moments when we can slow down and enjoy each other's company.

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Best Valentine's Day with my little family

This past Valentine's weekend was one of the best family weekends to date. We decided to go to Pacifica because it was a beautiful day. Since it's on the coast, we fully expected it to be 10 degrees cooler than our town. We thought we would enjoy looking at the beach, eat lunch and just walk around.
It ended up being an absolutely beautiful day. Instead of being cooler, I think it may have even been warmer than where we live. We were ill-prepared for a day at the beach but still had an awesome time. We had a late breakfast at a diner and then headed over to a popular beach. We found free parking (if you know anything about the Bay Area, you know that basically means your day is set), and headed over to to the beach.
The Bun was stoked. We rolled up our pants and waded in the water. I had The Bean in my carrier and we enjoyed the sunshine.

Getting bunny-eared by his daddy.

Family self-portrait. Poor baby boy didn't quite make it in the shot.

Depending on the kindness of a stranger for this shot. I think it's my favorite<3

The Man stayed with The Bean while The Bun & I climbed a hill. Cliff? It was steep! Can you see us? We decided to stop not much farther than when this was photographed. We were in flip flops and it wouldn't have ended pretty. But I was proud of us for being adventurous. I think we basically climbed a path for goats.

We had to cross the stream twice. It was slippery and, again, we had poor footwear for this. But we did it and The Bun loved it.

It was such a beautiful day, we agreed we wanted to try and repeat it. The worrier in me wondered if it would fall flat because sometimes you just can't repeat a good thing. But I'm glad it wasn't the case. The second time around we were more prepared - this could be a good thing as well as a bad thing. The good, of course, is that we could comfortably lounge on the beach because we had blankets. The Bun could also play in the water because she had a bathing suit and a change of clothes. The Man and I were also more suitably dressed in shorts and tanks. The downside was that we weren't as mobile, meaning we couldn't easily pack up, leave, and then return like we could the day before. Leaving the beach would be a permanent decision this time around. And someone had to stick around to watch all our belongings. The good, however, greatly outweighed the inconvenient!

It was absolutely gorgeous. We normally don't get too many beach days in February.

I took a 45 minute walk on the beach w/ The Bean in the carrier. It was so nice to explore, get some fresh air and get some exercise. I walked in the water and the closer I got to the bluff, the rockier the sand felt. Ouch! But well worth the exploration. Just gorgeous.

Had a little photo fun with my son. We stayed on the blanket while his sister and Daddy played in the water. Considering how cold the water was, I was pretty happy with our end of the deal.

Fate was on our side. Although we didn't have reservations, Moonraker sat us in one of their premium booths (well, just about all their booths had an amazing view). The deal was that we had to leave before their 6:30 PM reservation came. No problem! I had a drink (The Man had a coffee) before our delicious dinner.

We even caught the sunset. It was absolutely breathtaking. Caught my little girl checking it out and had to laugh. Perfect way to end the day. 

With all the planning one has to do as parents, it was nice to have a couple of unplanned yet marvelous family days. I think that's what really made it special. Before children, it was easy to have simple yet beautiful days with The Man or with my good friends. But, as I've learned, with precious cargo comes great responsibility:) We are one those couples that aren't so spontaneous because it makes our lives much better and easier when we plan. Having the rare opportunity to pack up ourselves and the kids with little to no planning yet have two really great days is a blessing.

A family member

My brother, Donnie, is eight years older than me. He is diagnosed with autism and mental retardation. He lives in a group home one city over and needs constant care - bathroom care, day and evening care - basically, the care you would give a toddler or small child but he is an adult.
Donnie can't speak and knows minimal sign language. He is gentle and only uses his strength when he wants to take food. His vice is food and often times his medication makes him crave food, even when he is full, to the point where he will vomit from eating too much. But he is not violent. He is 5'4" and, as of last year, people now ask if he is younger than me. He has flawless tan skin, big almond eyes and my mom says he looks young because he doesn't have a worry in the world.
My parents spent most of his life worrying about him. There came a point when Donnie became too strong, he wasn't quite a teenager yet, and they had to seek help to take care of him. In the early 80s, he lived in a nice group home in Malibu where he got to do things like horseback riding. But his behavior changed to the point in which it disqualified him from living there. I don't know if "disqualify" is the proper term but essentially he was too difficult for them to handle. He wasn't his mild-mannered self and he had started doing things like soiling his pants. The staff found it too hard to take care of him. To be fair, there is a certain grade or functioning level that all clients need to be at in a home (they have to be similar enough so the staff can take care of them) and my brother wasn't behaving at that level.
But to be fair to Donnie, doctors figured out much later that it wasn't my brother's fault - he had a bad reaction to one of his medications. Or two of his many medications clashed with each other, bringing on the unusual behavior. I forgot which one it was but it changed his life.
My brother then lived in a state institution in Sonoma for many years. During this time, I was in grade school and then high school. I wish I could tell you I was more involved in my brother's life but I was a bit too self-centered  and immature, leaving him  and the situation all up to our parents. I remember, though, visiting my brother and being scared to get him. It was a large institution filled with patients with varying degrees of mental illnesses. I remember touring and, just like you would see in the movies with insane asylums, there were medical staff behind a square class enclosures while patients wandered the hallways.
At the end of all our visits, my parents would have to bribe my brother with snacks (I guess food has always been his vice) to get him to get out of the car and walk him back inside the building and to his room. I never thought about it back then but I'm certain it was a scary place for him. He is not violent and when people show aggression, he cowers. I'm not saying this because I love him but he truly is a gentle soul.
I forgot to mention that the one time I did tour the facility, a female patient grabbed my ponytail and pulled. No staff helped so my dad finally had to grab her wrist and squeeze hard so she would let go. My parents never made me get out of the car to walk him back to his room after that.
My dad worked nights so my mom would attend these meetings for parents who had children in this institution. I found out later that it was because they were banding together to sue the state. They knew their children were unsafe. It's been a long time so I can't remember if one parent had a daughter who got pregnant or found out that his daughter had been raped. Either way, it was horrific. These parents, along with my parents, wanted the state to pay for their children to be in decent group homes and not in an institution that couldn't properly take care of them. Remember, my brother never wanted to go back to his room at the end of our visits.
I don't know what my brother endured there or life, in general. He cannot talk and has the mind of very young boy in a grown man's body. But he cannot talk or defend himself. I don't want to think about what has happened to him or what awful people may have done to him. My mom said that she had heard from a staff member that there was a patient who picked on him and would throw his shoes on the roof. I sincerely hope that was all that has been done to him. Donnie is a vulnerable soul who depends on the kindness and love of individuals. Sure, we all kind of do but he is like a little boy. I know my parents worried and continue to worry that no evil goes near him but isn't it awful to know that you just never know?
I've written about my belief in God and still having a lot of questions. I do believe, though, that my brother is an angel on earth. He is completely innocent and doesn't understand sin. One of the things I struggle with is why can't God protect innocent beings like him, babies, young children and the truly vulnerable. Why wicked people are allowed to hurt those who cannot protect themselves. It makes me cry thinking about it.
I wish my brother and I could talk. I wish I could do more for him and be a better sister. Most of all, I wish that he could only be surrounded by people who only mean to do right by him. It's something I pray for just about every day.

Family

I was born and raised in the Bay Area, specifically, the East Bay. I stayed in the Bay Area to go to college (Go, SF State!) and have worked throughout the Bay Area, except for the South and North Bays. I'm not just a California girl, I'm a Bay Area native.
I think a ton of it has to do with my family. My parents and brother live in the East Bay. I have quite a bit of extended family here, as well. Long time family friends are considered uncles and aunties.
I've thought about moving. I had wanted to go to LA to attend a university, love where my sister lives in Washington and adore vacationing in Hawaii. I've even thought about the Philippines just because, when I'm there, I love all the extended family I get to see.
But there's something about being able to see my parents whenever I want to. There's something about knowing my kids are loved when they're being taken care of by their Nana and Papa. And there's something to be said about having a village - my family - surrounding me when there are tough times.
My parents are probably the first ones to drive me crazy but there's also the people (along with my brother and sister) who I've loved the longest in my life. I wish my sister lived closer - she's one of my best friends. I'm so grateful my parents, along with the state, found a good home for my autistic brother so he's close by.
I was raised in a religion I know longer practice but time and time again it preached the importance of family. What made an even stronger impact on my view of family is how my parents treated their brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews ... and us.
My parents were both the first in their families to immigrate to the United States. They knew very few people and they had no one helping them out - no trust funds, no allowances, nothing. Not only did they support themselves but they sent money back home to their parents to help support their siblings. Then, when their brothers and sisters wanted to follow them, my parents took the time and effort to petition each of them. And then provided them a free place to stay and eat while they figured out their employment. My parents also gave money if they could or provided loans to family members to help them get on their feet. Now we all know how that can damage a relationship but my parents also knew how much it would help. My parents also gave money and whatever else they could to nieces and nephews who needed it. Sometimes they would even argue about it because a family member would go to one of them, specifically, and without talking about it, one of my parents would go ahead and lend or give them the money. My parents did and continue to attend all events - birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals and everything in between - to show that they love and care.
And then there's how they treated me. I was fortunate to be born when my parents were financially established. They weren't rich but they weren't stretched too thin anymore. My sister remembers when my dad would fry bologna to make it a little fancier. I also remember using powdered milk for a while when my aunt and her kids lived with us but never thought anything of it. Because despite us living in a lower income area, I never wanted for anything. (That just goes to show that my parents also know how to live within their means - my mom has the ability to squeeze two pennies together and make a dollar. She had a medical career but I believe her true calling was in finance.) My dad always made sure we had delicious Filipino home-cooked meals, my mom always made certain I had the latest and greatest technology for school, and they entertained whatever silly trend was happening, whether it be dolls, clothes or hair accessories. If my mom and dad thought my requests were somewhat reasonable, I got whatever it is I wanted. They certainly vetoed things that they thought were too extravagant but I was most definitely a blessed child.
I think part of their goal or dream was to make sure their kids got what they didn't. My parents made sure I didn't pay a single dime for my education. The only money I paid was my first year of graduate school. And that was just the tuition, they paid for books, transportation and even gave me an allowance. OK, I know that was a bit spoiled. But when I expressed guilt, my mom said that I was educating myself so she wanted to support that. She and my dad wanted me to focus on my studies and that meant not working unless the job supported my education. Who does that???
My parents.
They continue to show generosity with their time and funds towards my children. My daughter is the apple of their eye and she gets so many dresses and accessories from her Nana and Papa during the holidays. And throughout the year! Just because my parents saw something in the store and thought their granddaughter would love it.
I jokingly tell my mom that I pulled her out of retirement again now that she takes care of The Bean. Five years, the last time I had a newborn, has taken a toll on them. They both move slower, they've got more ailments and, quite simply, have grown older. But they, especially my mom, wants to help me. She knows that she is saving me a lot of money by watching my son full-time but she also said it gives her peace knowing he is with people who love him and want to do no harm. Because of our schedules, it's not an easy task. The Man has to take our son to my parents because I can't take him to my parents and The Bun to school and make it to work in time. So The Man takes The Bean before work which means dropping him off at my parents a little after 5:00 in the morning.
I know, right? Talk about being yanked out of retirement. My mom, his primary care giver, watches him for about 12 hours of the day. She could be doing anything else but for five days a week, she watches my son for 12 hours. This is how she and my dad show their love for me and for my son.
I used to think all grandparents are like this. From what I hear from friends, there are quite a few that are. But there are also many grandparents who have told their kids that they are done raising babies and they want to relax. I'm so very blessed that my parents don't take that point of view. They see an opportunity to help me out so they do.
From time to time, I moan and groan about wanting to rest, about wanting "me" time. But then I remember just how much my parents have sacrificed and how much harder they've had it than me and I realize that I should really just grin and bear it. They've always made family #1 and I hope to instill that kind outlook in my kids.

Pregnancy update flashbacks & props to the Nana (& Papa)

I'm not one for selfies. Not because I'm too cool or above them, I'm just a little too critical and self-conscious to be comfortable with them. But I'm so glad I did them with The Bun. So technically, they're called ussies? Whatever. I posted them in my blog but I wanted a page where I could see them all at once so I could show The Bun and, eventually, The Bean:

18 weeks.

19 weeks.

20 weeks.

21 weeks.

22 weeks.

23 weeks.

24 weeks.

25 weeks.

26 weeks.

27 weeks.

28 weeks.

29 weeks.

30 weeks.

31 weeks.

32 weeks.

33 weeks.

34 weeks.

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35 weeks.

36 weeks.

37 weeks.

38 weeks.

Now here is the photo I took on my first day back at work:

I wore this dress at 22 weeks, too:) I have to give a shout out to my mom. I wanted to hem all my wrap dresses so that they were above the knee. Then I could also wear them with flats! I found out that each dress would be $20 to hem. I have a lot of wrap and wrap-like dresses. My mom said she would hem them for me for free, the only catch that it would have to be at her pace. Absolutely! So it's like I have a bunch of new dresses. Man, I love my mom. And this also reminds me that, as shorty, I really need to learn how to sew. Simple alterations can really cost a lot!

But totally not the point of this entry:p I wanted to see all my photos together and give my mom huge props at the end. Yes, she is a hemming goddess. But she's also watching my second little one. She knows he is a bit fussy (he hasn't been diagnosed as having colic but she swears he does) and my mom doesn't want to leave him in the hands of a stranger in case they lose their patience with him. So at 72 years of age, my mom has come out of retirement yet again to work 12 hour days to take care of my baby. That is hard work. And my mom isn't a healthy 72 years. She has battled breast cancer, isn't big on fitness and proclaims to be allergic to healthy foods:p What can I say? I can only suggest her to change things. Just like with anyone else, anything more than suggesting is nagging. And yes, she has told me to stop nagging.

Me and the queen bee at my graduation party ten years ago.

I am absolutely blessed to have my parents nearby. My dad will be 80 years old this year. While my mom is the primary care giver to The Bean, my dad steps in here and there when my mom needs a break. This golden dynamic duo makes it possible for me to go back to work and, as my mom likes to point out because she is very fiscally-minded, saves us money on daycare. I admit, I worry because they're health is spotty, but we take it one day at a time. I love and appreciate them so much.

Me & my parents at my wedding six years ago.