The Bun looks like a toddler now. I think she has to be two years old to be officially labeled a toddler so she's got 6 months to go. But she is walking, talking gibberish and looks nothing like the newborn baby that was residing in our home a year and a half ago. When I think back to college or even high school, it doesn't seem that far away even though we're talking 10+ years ago. But now that I have this growing being to benchmark time against, my gosh, time really does fly!
For a few months, she was breaking my heart. I kind of alluded to it before but I was so embarrassed that I didn't feel comfortable talking about it to the masses. Most moms I know have babies/kids that can't shake off w/ a stick!! And The Bun was like that for a good long time. Then, it seemed suddenly, her Daddy was her favorite. I tried not to have my feelings hurt because she means no harm. But my heart just broke. How can I not be her favorite? Didn't I carry her, then birth her and then exclusively fed her for six months? Where's the loyalty?! And what was also hard was that I knew I was being irrational. But I couldn't help it. When I held her and she would twist to her daddy giving the "Pick me up!" sign, I was so hurt. I'd like to say I got over it. But I didn't. She hardly does it anymore which is probably the only reason I can write about it now. My mom says it's because The Man carried The Bun everywhere whereas I would carry her but also make her walk and hold her hand. And how can I fault her for thinking The Man is awesome? He is! But the preference of her Daddy over me made me all emotional. Thankfully, I think we're tied again. And I'm happy with that.
Want to know something funny/awful? A coworker had asked me a couple months back how The Bun was doing. I begun to explain to her my dilemma and I started to cry! I felt so silly. She patted my arm and said, "Don't worry about it. I understand. My daughter is 23 years old and she still breaks my heart." I exclaimed, "That's not at all comforting!!!" Ah, the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters.
Onto something completely different and even more embarrassing, yesterday was our wedding anniversary. We decided we were going to look at cars in the morning and then go wine tasting afterwards. The car browsing was a bust so we were at the winery by 10:30 AM. We wine tasted once they opened at 11:00 AM and then followed it by a lunch. 20 something, I am not. And, according to The Man, I have never been able to hold my liquor. I disagree but as of right now, I don't exactly have a leg to stand on. The lady gave us additional tastes on top of the flight we payed for. I'm telling you, I have drank more wine before but I suppose all those little sips fooled me into thinking the whole was smaller than it's sum parts.
I was a very un-hot mess.
I ended up vomiting in the car into The Man's favorite jacket. I blame it on the cheese platter the waiter proposed to us at the restaurant but The Man said it was because I can't hold my liquor. To be fair, I hardly drink anymore! Of course I have little tolerance. But, again, 20 something I am not. I should have known better. I should know my tolerance level. I used to but that's when I drank on a somewhat regular basis. What a very disgusting way to end our anniversary.
But before you start thinking, "Oh, poor The Man, he has to put up with this sloppy drinker" (yes, I am going to throw him under the bus because he was teasing me and talking as if this always happens to me) I would like to remind folks of my grad school party in which he drank BOTTLES of Two-Buck Chuck because he didn't feel anything. And then he was later found kissing the porcelain thrown for hours and I had to get him after we were done cleaning and locking up. On a sweet note, my parents took pity on him and said he could sleep over our home so he wouldn't have to drive home. These are the same parents who were extremely strict and have never allowed a boy into their 25 year old daughter's room up until this point! My dad, feeling bad, said, "Make sure you put a trash can next to your bed. I don't think he will make it to the bathroom."
Mean of me to bring up? Maybe just a little. But it's also a fond memory for me because I feel like that was the point my folks truly accepted The Man into our family. They didn't even tease him the next day! Hmm, maybe we're better off as a dry couple.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
30 Interesting Facts (and why I've been sucking at blogging recently)
1. Started a new job on March 1st w/ the same company I've been with for nearly four years. This puts me in an interesting position in being like a newbie. But not.
2. Trying to manage my time better so I'm spending it with those that I love, getting things I need to get done and preparing things for The Bun & me for the next day so I don't rush in the mornings. Leaves very little time for blogging, though.
3. I worry a lot. I've been trying to manage it, though, so I can be in the moment. How very Oprah of me, I know.
4. The birth of my daughter has made mortality so much more real to me. This coincides with #3. I worry about how much more time I will have with those that I love (like my parents, husband, family, good friends) and I want to make the most of it.
5. I forget where I read this. But a person wrote that if they knew they were dying, they wouldn't want to go to places they've never been or fulfill their bucket list. They would want to spend each minute with everyone they love. I agree.
6. I knew there would be a point in my life in which I wouldn't feel young and sexy (OK, more like cute ... I don't think I've ever described myself as sexy.) I didn't think it would happen so soon.
7. I love my baby and my husband. I would like, however, to get the body I had when I was single. I was pretty pleased with that body and I think my husband would benefit from that body too. The baby, not so much. But it wouldn't hurt her.
8. I love our pups so much. I wish they had life spans like humans.
9. I love them so much they are in our Christmas cards.
10. I wish we could afford help. Housekeeping or nanny-ing. It would be really nice.
11. I've heard many reasons why I should have another child. I agree with almost all of them. I'm just not emotionally or physically ready yet.
12. Almost everyone says not to worry about money. That a family just figures it out. But I do worry how we would be able to afford another one.
13. I just realized this is supposed to be 30 "interesting" facts. Not random thoughts. All right, well ... I have only had two real boyfriends. I married the second one, in case you couldn't figure that out.
14. I am a terrible dater. I never understood the whole second date concept if the first wasn't all that great.
15. I probably sabotaged most relationships before the other person could mess up. Part of the reason I was a terrible dater.
16. I wish I could go back to my early 20s if I could keep all the relationships I have now. The only reason would be so I could enjoy every moment instead of wanting for something I didn't currently have.
17. For so long, I wanted people to think I looked my age or older. I can't exactly pinpoint when I wanted people to guess I looked younger than my age. See? Wanting what I don't currently have. Stupid.
18. I sound like I'm unhappy, don't I? I'm actually a very happy person. And quite content with life. (This points out another reason I was a terrible dater. My husband said I was the master at mixed signals!)
19. My dream job is to be famous and in movies. Funny that I'm not an actor nor have I ever done anything to pursue that dream. And, honestly, I think it sounds a lot more glamorous than it probably really is. My other dream job would be to host a travel show. If I can drag all the people I love with me :)
20. I have more confidence now than I did 10 years ago. And I had a way better body 10 years ago! Funny how that works.
21. I care more about the earth, education and the well being of humanity. I think becoming a mama made me care more.
22. I also think that my significant other makes me be a better person. It's hard to explain in few words but, in my only other serious relationship, my ex said that I made the other want to be a better person. He said I gave him drive, made him want to be more responsible. A grown up. But w/ The Man, I think he has made me be more caring and thoughtful towards others. Not even by what he says but what he does.
23. I give The Man compliments (like the one above) but I also tease him because, let's face it, we keep each other grounded, too ;) We used to be better at giving each other compliments but we've always teased each other. I hope that we can continue to praise each other throughout our relationship because it's just another way to show love.
24. Our oldest pup, who is technically not a pup at nearly 5 years, came very close to death a few months ago. That experience reminded me of why I pushed back for years w/ The Man of why I didn't want a pet. Much less two. I still wasn't over the loss of childhood dog when we got these two. I'm way too much of a softie. But I wouldn't redo the past and not have them. Because they have brought and continue to bring so much joy to my life and to our relationship!
25. On that note, I really wish pets could be covered by human medical insurance. At Kaiser, I paid $100 for giving birth and for being in the hospital for three nights. Piko was at the vet for 7 days and we paid a Hawaiian vacation for 2. A very NICE vacation for 2. We don't have a single regret but man, that's expensive.
26. My daughter, without meaning to do so because she's just a wee baby, has already broken my heart. When I shared this w/ a co-worker, she told me her 23 year old daughter continues to break her heart. But she loves her to pieces and that's just what kids do. A regret I have? Every inconsiderate thing I've ever done to hurt my mom's feelings. My dad, too, but now I know what it's like to be a mama.
27. I feel so blessed with the company I keep. Nearly every day, I thank God for my wonderful family and friends because I feel surrounded by love. This is a very big deal to me.
28. I'm spiritual but not religious. I would actually like to be religious. But I'd like to have one in which The Man would like to also join so we can have our little family worship together.
29. I've always been very conservative about relationships and being faithful. I am pretty liberal when it comes to politics. I believe in equal rights - I don't think that makes me wildly liberal. I think it makes me FAIR.
30. It took me the span of four days to finish this. I wonder when I'll ever find time to quality blog again. I'm thinking rather than primarily writing about my thoughts, I may start documenting The Bun's milestones again. I don't want to forget things and we never started a baby book.
2. Trying to manage my time better so I'm spending it with those that I love, getting things I need to get done and preparing things for The Bun & me for the next day so I don't rush in the mornings. Leaves very little time for blogging, though.
3. I worry a lot. I've been trying to manage it, though, so I can be in the moment. How very Oprah of me, I know.
4. The birth of my daughter has made mortality so much more real to me. This coincides with #3. I worry about how much more time I will have with those that I love (like my parents, husband, family, good friends) and I want to make the most of it.
5. I forget where I read this. But a person wrote that if they knew they were dying, they wouldn't want to go to places they've never been or fulfill their bucket list. They would want to spend each minute with everyone they love. I agree.
6. I knew there would be a point in my life in which I wouldn't feel young and sexy (OK, more like cute ... I don't think I've ever described myself as sexy.) I didn't think it would happen so soon.
7. I love my baby and my husband. I would like, however, to get the body I had when I was single. I was pretty pleased with that body and I think my husband would benefit from that body too. The baby, not so much. But it wouldn't hurt her.
8. I love our pups so much. I wish they had life spans like humans.
9. I love them so much they are in our Christmas cards.
10. I wish we could afford help. Housekeeping or nanny-ing. It would be really nice.
11. I've heard many reasons why I should have another child. I agree with almost all of them. I'm just not emotionally or physically ready yet.
12. Almost everyone says not to worry about money. That a family just figures it out. But I do worry how we would be able to afford another one.
13. I just realized this is supposed to be 30 "interesting" facts. Not random thoughts. All right, well ... I have only had two real boyfriends. I married the second one, in case you couldn't figure that out.
14. I am a terrible dater. I never understood the whole second date concept if the first wasn't all that great.
15. I probably sabotaged most relationships before the other person could mess up. Part of the reason I was a terrible dater.
16. I wish I could go back to my early 20s if I could keep all the relationships I have now. The only reason would be so I could enjoy every moment instead of wanting for something I didn't currently have.
17. For so long, I wanted people to think I looked my age or older. I can't exactly pinpoint when I wanted people to guess I looked younger than my age. See? Wanting what I don't currently have. Stupid.
18. I sound like I'm unhappy, don't I? I'm actually a very happy person. And quite content with life. (This points out another reason I was a terrible dater. My husband said I was the master at mixed signals!)
19. My dream job is to be famous and in movies. Funny that I'm not an actor nor have I ever done anything to pursue that dream. And, honestly, I think it sounds a lot more glamorous than it probably really is. My other dream job would be to host a travel show. If I can drag all the people I love with me :)
20. I have more confidence now than I did 10 years ago. And I had a way better body 10 years ago! Funny how that works.
21. I care more about the earth, education and the well being of humanity. I think becoming a mama made me care more.
22. I also think that my significant other makes me be a better person. It's hard to explain in few words but, in my only other serious relationship, my ex said that I made the other want to be a better person. He said I gave him drive, made him want to be more responsible. A grown up. But w/ The Man, I think he has made me be more caring and thoughtful towards others. Not even by what he says but what he does.
23. I give The Man compliments (like the one above) but I also tease him because, let's face it, we keep each other grounded, too ;) We used to be better at giving each other compliments but we've always teased each other. I hope that we can continue to praise each other throughout our relationship because it's just another way to show love.
24. Our oldest pup, who is technically not a pup at nearly 5 years, came very close to death a few months ago. That experience reminded me of why I pushed back for years w/ The Man of why I didn't want a pet. Much less two. I still wasn't over the loss of childhood dog when we got these two. I'm way too much of a softie. But I wouldn't redo the past and not have them. Because they have brought and continue to bring so much joy to my life and to our relationship!
25. On that note, I really wish pets could be covered by human medical insurance. At Kaiser, I paid $100 for giving birth and for being in the hospital for three nights. Piko was at the vet for 7 days and we paid a Hawaiian vacation for 2. A very NICE vacation for 2. We don't have a single regret but man, that's expensive.
26. My daughter, without meaning to do so because she's just a wee baby, has already broken my heart. When I shared this w/ a co-worker, she told me her 23 year old daughter continues to break her heart. But she loves her to pieces and that's just what kids do. A regret I have? Every inconsiderate thing I've ever done to hurt my mom's feelings. My dad, too, but now I know what it's like to be a mama.
27. I feel so blessed with the company I keep. Nearly every day, I thank God for my wonderful family and friends because I feel surrounded by love. This is a very big deal to me.
28. I'm spiritual but not religious. I would actually like to be religious. But I'd like to have one in which The Man would like to also join so we can have our little family worship together.
29. I've always been very conservative about relationships and being faithful. I am pretty liberal when it comes to politics. I believe in equal rights - I don't think that makes me wildly liberal. I think it makes me FAIR.
30. It took me the span of four days to finish this. I wonder when I'll ever find time to quality blog again. I'm thinking rather than primarily writing about my thoughts, I may start documenting The Bun's milestones again. I don't want to forget things and we never started a baby book.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
What happened to blogging more?!
I promise I have good reasons. Primarily - work. This is my second busiest time of the year. But I think I'm actually driving more than I do in the fall the busiest time for me. I shat you not when I write that I average over 120 miles a day. Last week, I drove more than 200 miles every time I got into my car. Serious. While the workload hasn't actually been a ton, it's the driving that has been taxing. So when do I have time to take care of the administrative portion of my position like updates via email, email responses and data entry? When I get home. Thus no other computer-oriented tasks gets done. Because, by then, I'M done. Busy, busy, busy!
But I'm happy to announce that there were other reasons why I was so busy - I've been offered a new job in my company! It's funny, everything fell into the right place. Since I got back from maternity leave, I had been looking for a new position. I had been in my old one for three years and that made me a seasoned veteran. Because folks just don't stay too long for one reason or another.
I have many reasons why I wanted to move into another role. But, overall, it was just time. I applied to internal positions. I applied to external positions. I had been on over 10 interviews this past year. But for one reason or another, it just didn't work out. Let me be completely honest - a few I turned down but the rest either weren't offered the job or I didn't move on to the second round interviews. And to be brutally honest, just about all the jobs outside of my company were ones I didn't care for once I had the initial interview. Very similar to a bad first date :) Good on paper but just not a love match in person.
But this particular position. This one just fell into place. It was within my current company. Yesssss. I've mentioned this before but I want to be the type of person that has a long career in one company and, if I had my druthers, retires from that company. I know, I know, our generation isn't known for that nor are companies known for allowing that. Truly, in general, there is no longer that employee/employer loyalty that had existed in our parents' generation. But there are sometimes exceptions to this. And there's something said to the benefits that go along with seniority. Like PTO, retirement and all that jazz.
So going back to how this everything about this felt right. One of the jobs I was offered took a total of FOUR months from first interview to offer. There were good reasons as to why it took so long and, in the end, it was a good thing because it gave me plenty of time to process if this job was a good fit. And for one reason or another, it wasn't. But this new job, from start to finish, was two and a half weeks from interview to offer. For me, it was the right location, a position with desirable job expectations & salary, bosses with good reputations and opportunity for career growth. For them, it was the right time, someone with the right work experience, someone with the right history & background who had actually worked in the territory and, yes, someone with a good work reputation. At least, I'm pretty sure!
I think what was most exciting was that the hiring managers didn't feel compelled to wait for several more applicants for comparison. Although, I would have completely understood - the whole eggs in one basket kind of thing. But it was nice to know they were very confident about me. In their words, they were pleased with my responses during the interview, my work history, and felt like I would be an ideal fit for the position. Plus I had taken the initiative to inquire before the job was posted so that was a bonus in their eyes. Plus, I'm sure they want to fill it ASAP so there is very little vacancy time and there is only a small ripple in their otherwise seamless transition.
I know it won't be a perfect position. I'm sure after being in my current role for nearly four years, there will be a few hiccups and goodness knows, I will need to learn new things and learn them fast. But I think that's what makes it also exciting. I'm really looking forward to being back in an office and working with a team. I have been solo and in the field for quite some time! But I am grateful. Ask me four years ago ... shoot, ask me last year and this is not where I thought my career would be headed. But it is a welcomed unplanned event in my life and I'm looking forward to it.
But I'm happy to announce that there were other reasons why I was so busy - I've been offered a new job in my company! It's funny, everything fell into the right place. Since I got back from maternity leave, I had been looking for a new position. I had been in my old one for three years and that made me a seasoned veteran. Because folks just don't stay too long for one reason or another.
I have many reasons why I wanted to move into another role. But, overall, it was just time. I applied to internal positions. I applied to external positions. I had been on over 10 interviews this past year. But for one reason or another, it just didn't work out. Let me be completely honest - a few I turned down but the rest either weren't offered the job or I didn't move on to the second round interviews. And to be brutally honest, just about all the jobs outside of my company were ones I didn't care for once I had the initial interview. Very similar to a bad first date :) Good on paper but just not a love match in person.
But this particular position. This one just fell into place. It was within my current company. Yesssss. I've mentioned this before but I want to be the type of person that has a long career in one company and, if I had my druthers, retires from that company. I know, I know, our generation isn't known for that nor are companies known for allowing that. Truly, in general, there is no longer that employee/employer loyalty that had existed in our parents' generation. But there are sometimes exceptions to this. And there's something said to the benefits that go along with seniority. Like PTO, retirement and all that jazz.
So going back to how this everything about this felt right. One of the jobs I was offered took a total of FOUR months from first interview to offer. There were good reasons as to why it took so long and, in the end, it was a good thing because it gave me plenty of time to process if this job was a good fit. And for one reason or another, it wasn't. But this new job, from start to finish, was two and a half weeks from interview to offer. For me, it was the right location, a position with desirable job expectations & salary, bosses with good reputations and opportunity for career growth. For them, it was the right time, someone with the right work experience, someone with the right history & background who had actually worked in the territory and, yes, someone with a good work reputation. At least, I'm pretty sure!
I think what was most exciting was that the hiring managers didn't feel compelled to wait for several more applicants for comparison. Although, I would have completely understood - the whole eggs in one basket kind of thing. But it was nice to know they were very confident about me. In their words, they were pleased with my responses during the interview, my work history, and felt like I would be an ideal fit for the position. Plus I had taken the initiative to inquire before the job was posted so that was a bonus in their eyes. Plus, I'm sure they want to fill it ASAP so there is very little vacancy time and there is only a small ripple in their otherwise seamless transition.
I know it won't be a perfect position. I'm sure after being in my current role for nearly four years, there will be a few hiccups and goodness knows, I will need to learn new things and learn them fast. But I think that's what makes it also exciting. I'm really looking forward to being back in an office and working with a team. I have been solo and in the field for quite some time! But I am grateful. Ask me four years ago ... shoot, ask me last year and this is not where I thought my career would be headed. But it is a welcomed unplanned event in my life and I'm looking forward to it.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
View on religion
Oh boy. Not at all easy to answer.
Here's the thing - I truly believe the religion I grew up with helped shape me into a good person. I lived in a middle to low income area and high school was a mix of kids. I could have gone down a dark road but I didn't. My parents were very strict so I'm sure that helped. But the fear from religion helped a lot.
That's the thing, though. There was a lot of fear. And guilt. A LOT.
I know most religions encourage their parish to recruit outsiders into their faith. And to marry within their faith. But there was a lot of talk of damnation for those who did not end up on the righteous path. And I always had a problem with that since my dad is Catholic.
I had attended regularly from 1986 to 1996. I remember wanting out as soon as I graduated from high school. I had been part of the choir and was even a choir organist but used college as an excuse to remove all responsibilities. Holding those different positions was considered an honor and I'm certain my mom was ashamed when I stepped down from those duties.
Truth be told, I don't remember much of the teachings of my former religion. I do remember being resentful when I went to church because I didn't agree with many of the sermons. And my attendance was less and less ... the only reason I went for so long is because of my mom. It was really important to her. But, just like they preached, if you were only there physically but not mentally, it didn't count. And it's true, it didn't count.
Fast forward to now. I still believe in God. And I would like to be part of a church again. I want my daughter to have God in her life and to have a belief. We're seriously considering my husband's religion and would like to find a church in our area. But have we done something about it yet? No.
I also have questions. And I would love it if someone who has a strong faith could help me with the answers.
I know there is a God. But I don't understand why there is so much brutality in this world. Why are innocent women and children being raped? Why are people being tortured? Why are innocent people being killed?
These are the kind of stories that seem to be occuring more and more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/connecticut_doctor_whose_family_eWPz3N9foeiSbXiWwlizKJ
http://www.contracostatimes.com/richmond-school-homecoming-rape/ci_16620274?nclick_check=1
I know there is good in this world. And I know that I am very blessed. But what I've yet to understand is that even though God exists, these atrocities occur. Why?
And I am serious. If you have strong faith, consider yourself religious and go to church, I would really appreciate it if you responded.
Here's the thing - I truly believe the religion I grew up with helped shape me into a good person. I lived in a middle to low income area and high school was a mix of kids. I could have gone down a dark road but I didn't. My parents were very strict so I'm sure that helped. But the fear from religion helped a lot.
That's the thing, though. There was a lot of fear. And guilt. A LOT.
I know most religions encourage their parish to recruit outsiders into their faith. And to marry within their faith. But there was a lot of talk of damnation for those who did not end up on the righteous path. And I always had a problem with that since my dad is Catholic.
I had attended regularly from 1986 to 1996. I remember wanting out as soon as I graduated from high school. I had been part of the choir and was even a choir organist but used college as an excuse to remove all responsibilities. Holding those different positions was considered an honor and I'm certain my mom was ashamed when I stepped down from those duties.
Truth be told, I don't remember much of the teachings of my former religion. I do remember being resentful when I went to church because I didn't agree with many of the sermons. And my attendance was less and less ... the only reason I went for so long is because of my mom. It was really important to her. But, just like they preached, if you were only there physically but not mentally, it didn't count. And it's true, it didn't count.
Fast forward to now. I still believe in God. And I would like to be part of a church again. I want my daughter to have God in her life and to have a belief. We're seriously considering my husband's religion and would like to find a church in our area. But have we done something about it yet? No.
I also have questions. And I would love it if someone who has a strong faith could help me with the answers.
I know there is a God. But I don't understand why there is so much brutality in this world. Why are innocent women and children being raped? Why are people being tortured? Why are innocent people being killed?
These are the kind of stories that seem to be occuring more and more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/connecticut_doctor_whose_family_eWPz3N9foeiSbXiWwlizKJ
http://www.contracostatimes.com/richmond-school-homecoming-rape/ci_16620274?nclick_check=1
I know there is good in this world. And I know that I am very blessed. But what I've yet to understand is that even though God exists, these atrocities occur. Why?
And I am serious. If you have strong faith, consider yourself religious and go to church, I would really appreciate it if you responded.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Views on drugs and alcohol
If we're talking about my future conversation w/ my daughter regarding this subject - "Don't do it!"
If only it were that easy.
Alcohol is pretty fine. It takes very little to achieve a temporary euphoria, especially since I don’t drink nearly as much as I did in my 20s.
When I was in my 20s, it helped me loosen up when I was in social settings. I hadn't partied at all in teens and hardly at all during college. So when I turned 21, I was probably as rigid as a, well, you fill in the blank. It would probably be fitting.
Alcohol also helped create fun. I mean, there had to be other stimuli like friends and being out on the town (because by myself and in a dark room does not make for a good time.) Alcohol also helped ease the tension of stressful jobs.
I like alcohol. Of course, as I get older, I'm more aware and scared of drunk drivers. In my 20s, I guess there is a feeling of invincibility. I just didn't think much of harm being caused to me. I had other things to worry about. Or I was just naive. Now, I worry about things like drunk driving because I worry about harm being cause to those I love like my husband, baby, parents and family.
Drugs. Oh boy. I am going to probably be in the minority (and when I write minority, I mean all by my lonesome) when I say I don't like marijuana. Before I get stoned (the literal, not figurative) for taking away people's rights (although I don't think it's legal yet, is it?) I'm not opposed to other people smoking it. I see it along the same lines as alcohol. It's just not for me. When I tried it in my youth (early 20s), I felt like I was going to hurl and I just wanted everything to stop spinning. After the third time of feeling the exact same way, I gave up. I don't care what anyone else said, it is not relaxing, it is not fun and it was a horrible way for me to spend a perfectly good evning.
There you have it. My views on drugs and alcohol. By the way, I had a FULL glass of wine this evening and it was deeeeee-lightful!
If only it were that easy.
Alcohol is pretty fine. It takes very little to achieve a temporary euphoria, especially since I don’t drink nearly as much as I did in my 20s.
When I was in my 20s, it helped me loosen up when I was in social settings. I hadn't partied at all in teens and hardly at all during college. So when I turned 21, I was probably as rigid as a, well, you fill in the blank. It would probably be fitting.
Alcohol also helped create fun. I mean, there had to be other stimuli like friends and being out on the town (because by myself and in a dark room does not make for a good time.) Alcohol also helped ease the tension of stressful jobs.
I like alcohol. Of course, as I get older, I'm more aware and scared of drunk drivers. In my 20s, I guess there is a feeling of invincibility. I just didn't think much of harm being caused to me. I had other things to worry about. Or I was just naive. Now, I worry about things like drunk driving because I worry about harm being cause to those I love like my husband, baby, parents and family.
Drugs. Oh boy. I am going to probably be in the minority (and when I write minority, I mean all by my lonesome) when I say I don't like marijuana. Before I get stoned (the literal, not figurative) for taking away people's rights (although I don't think it's legal yet, is it?) I'm not opposed to other people smoking it. I see it along the same lines as alcohol. It's just not for me. When I tried it in my youth (early 20s), I felt like I was going to hurl and I just wanted everything to stop spinning. After the third time of feeling the exact same way, I gave up. I don't care what anyone else said, it is not relaxing, it is not fun and it was a horrible way for me to spend a perfectly good evning.
There you have it. My views on drugs and alcohol. By the way, I had a FULL glass of wine this evening and it was deeeeee-lightful!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Where I would like to be in 10 years
I would like to be in a happy marriage. I would like my child (or children, if I have any more) to be healthy and happy. Actually, the same for all my loved ones - husband, parents, siblings, pups, other family and friends. I hope to have a nice home in a nice school district:) I hope to still be surrounded by lovely people who make up my circle. I hope to be fulfilled w/ myself and my relationships. I hope to have a career that I can be proud of and enables me to make a positive impact in my community. I hope to have a job that gives a voice to the underserved and/or underrepresented. I hope my employer, my organization, is also admireable. I hope to still have the desire to be content without being complacent. I hope to be present so I can always enjoy and be grateful for my blessings and not want for the unnecessary. I hope I'm a good person. A good wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, supervisor, employee, and even stranger.
I hope to be happy.
I hope to be happy.
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Sunday, January 09, 2011
Maybe I'm peculiar but I actually really like assignments!
Maybe that's why I like academia so much. I like having creative freedom but can appreciate a little direction. Below is a 30 day challenge my friend, Tel, posted on her website which was borrowed from another blogger. My interpretation is to answer all the questions but I'm realistic. I'm going to make it a 90 day challenge for me :) Because it's still my blog.
1st assignment: Your current relationship. Easy.
I'm married. I've been married for going-on-three years. I'm happily married. And relieved about it, I suppose. What's the divorce statistic - 50%? We dated for six years before we married so I'm hoping we got all the kinks out of the way ;)
What else can I say? It hasn't been all sunshine and roses. Overall, though, it's been and continues to be quite lovely. I feel like we have a healthy relationship. We're supportive of each other, loving, kind, and it's definitely a partnership.
I admit, I've always seen myself being married. But I wasn't one to get into a relationship just to be in one. I have very high expectations of a partner. Probably because I'm not a very trusting person so I expect the person to be exceptionally trustworthy. If not, it's not going to work - I can't work. Because many of us have been in those kind of relationships, the kind in which it's like CSI, dating- style.
"Who just texted you at this late hour?"
"Hey, who's hair tie is this in your car?"
"Who's that girl I can hear in the background? Who's with you?"
"What was just on your computer screen? Why did you click out so fast?"
I don't need that. It's not exciting, it's never worth it and, quite frankly, it's exhausting. And heart breaking. At least, for me.
But I'm going off topic. What's MY relationship like. Well, it's not like that. There's a lot of trust. And even though my husband is amazing, it took a while for me to have this level of trust because I had been burned before. I mean TOASTED. Yes, I had some baggage. As for him, I don't think he had someone as affectionate as I. If I can remember, I don't think any of his girlfriends have been his best friend either. Our relationship was something we both never had before.
There's a lot of trust. And love. We make each other laugh a lot over silly, every day things. He's my best friend.
1st assignment: Your current relationship. Easy.
I'm married. I've been married for going-on-three years. I'm happily married. And relieved about it, I suppose. What's the divorce statistic - 50%? We dated for six years before we married so I'm hoping we got all the kinks out of the way ;)
What else can I say? It hasn't been all sunshine and roses. Overall, though, it's been and continues to be quite lovely. I feel like we have a healthy relationship. We're supportive of each other, loving, kind, and it's definitely a partnership.
I admit, I've always seen myself being married. But I wasn't one to get into a relationship just to be in one. I have very high expectations of a partner. Probably because I'm not a very trusting person so I expect the person to be exceptionally trustworthy. If not, it's not going to work - I can't work. Because many of us have been in those kind of relationships, the kind in which it's like CSI, dating- style.
"Who just texted you at this late hour?"
"Hey, who's hair tie is this in your car?"
"Who's that girl I can hear in the background? Who's with you?"
"What was just on your computer screen? Why did you click out so fast?"
I don't need that. It's not exciting, it's never worth it and, quite frankly, it's exhausting. And heart breaking. At least, for me.
But I'm going off topic. What's MY relationship like. Well, it's not like that. There's a lot of trust. And even though my husband is amazing, it took a while for me to have this level of trust because I had been burned before. I mean TOASTED. Yes, I had some baggage. As for him, I don't think he had someone as affectionate as I. If I can remember, I don't think any of his girlfriends have been his best friend either. Our relationship was something we both never had before.
There's a lot of trust. And love. We make each other laugh a lot over silly, every day things. He's my best friend.
Monday, January 03, 2011
20 Questions to wrap up 2010 (borrowed from Cyn)
1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
Hmm, that's soo hard because I can't choose just one specific thing. The Bun turning 1 was huge because we accomplished our first year of parenting. Not only did we "survive" but our marriage continues to be strong, our love and friendship continues to be strong and, let's face it. Our household, between the Bun and the two pups, is a buttload of cuteness.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Oh boy. Being in the moment. Not letting dissatisfaction in one area of my life cloud or affect the other, not to mention more wonderful, areas of my life. Again, not sure if that qualifies as "single".
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
My parents showing me all over again just how wonderful they are. Not that they ever stopped being wonderful but I think they were so consistently great that I took them for granted and sometimes focused too much on their faults. (The shame!) But having a baby and they being so active in her life showed me them in a different light. Being a parent myself now most definitely helped put things in perspective.
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Outside influences who disappointed me thus discouraged me. I think the influences also affected who I was becoming. It's still an obstacle.
5. Pick three words to describe 2010.
Love, Family, Growth.
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2010 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you)
Mama, sleep, adult
Can I just say I have no idea what the three words would be but I figured one would have something to do with me being a parent. Another would have to be about me getting more sleep because I was a different person when sleep-deprived. I wasn't myself. Maybe it was the hormones too. But with sleep I am a better ME. And the last would be about me being more of a grown-up because there really was no other choice!
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2010 (again, without asking)
Work, stress, love
Work because he worked a lot. So much so it led to the second word. Stress. He tried so hard to be a great employee as well as be a great father and husband but it was too much. And the money wasn't worth it. Love because I love him A LOT. Hopefully he knows that!8. What were the best books you read this year?
Oh boy, I have to check my Kindle and get back to this. I really liked The Help but I think I read it in 2008. And the Girl w/ the Dragon Tattoo series.9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
My husband, my parents, family and friends. I've learned to treasure them more and I hope that I do better at not taking anyone or anything for granted in 2011.
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Being a workin' mama! So that started sometime in February. I count my blessings that I was able to ease into it more so than other mamas because I have a home-based office. I was able to transition from being at home to being out in the field most of the day at pretty much my pace. The first day working from home and not having The Bun with me was really odd. But we all figured it out pretty easily. I may have shed a couple of tears the first day but it all ended up pretty good.
Being a workin' mama! So that started sometime in February. I count my blessings that I was able to ease into it more so than other mamas because I have a home-based office. I was able to transition from being at home to being out in the field most of the day at pretty much my pace. The first day working from home and not having The Bun with me was really odd. But we all figured it out pretty easily. I may have shed a couple of tears the first day but it all ended up pretty good.
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
Oh man, again, it revolves around me becoming a mama. It is life changing to always care for someone who will always need your love and attention. I think I learned a lot in 2010 but continue to learn to adapt as she grows because she is always changing so her needs also change! And I continue to figure out how to be a better person. That means to myself, as a wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, colleague and even stranger. It is not an easy task.12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?I didn't grow spiritually...I hope this to be a new years resolution - I think I'm with you, Cyn.
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
Humph. Unfortunately that hasn't changed. I still have the pesky 10 lbs to lose from my pregnancy. Of course, I'm hoping to do something about that. I'm 20 lbs from when The Man and I first met. Yes, holy $*#t is right. I'm not so much focused on the numbers anymore, though. I care more of how I feel. I want to feel energetic and sleek. Not so much like a jigglypuff.14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I hope that I show my appreciate for others better and more often. Particularly my parents!
I hope that I show my appreciate for others better and more often. Particularly my parents!
15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Although it was my worst financial year w/ my company, my boss saw that it was out of my control since I was on leave for more than 1/3 of the year. She recognized my efforts, the strategies I worked hard to put into place so that my leave would be seamless. Of course, outside influences greatly impacted my plans and, inevitably, my fiscal year. But my boss asked that I receive a small increase and her request was approved. I was really happy about that because I knew it was a tough year for the entire organization so any increase, not matter how small, was a very pleasant surprise.16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Reconciling the old me with being in a new role - mama. And I don't think role is even the appropriate word but I can't think of anything better. Because it's more than a job. It's more than a title. I still am who I am but now there's this whole new element that is part of me forever. What do I call that? I'm still the same person but my life is completely different now. Anyway, trying to figure all that out and make decisions that are still best for me yet also best for my family. And sometimes what's best for me isn't best for my family so I have to think about the greater good. Because my family is my greater good.17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Facebook! But I've also reconnected with some really treasured old friends. So I put the blame on the user rather than the product. Although if they get me hooked on Farmville or MafiaWars, I will swear that they are striving to be the reigning time suckers of society.18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Bath and bedtime rituals with The Man and The Bun. Spending time chatting w/ my parents when I drop off and pick up The Bun from their home. Going on a minimoon to Hawaii w/ The Man before returning to work. It was all good stuff.19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
Having a baby is one of the biggest decisions you can make. I mean, I already knew that. But, and I think this goes with just about anything that has to do with being a parent, you know but you don't really know until you actually have a child. Sure, you may have observed from other people or being around family members. But you don't really know until you're in it. I don't care what you think. You don't know the half of it until you're a parent yourself. Now where was I? Oh yes, I am so glad I waited because I surely wasn't ready when I was younger. I'm also very glad we finally made the choice when we did because she is pretty amazing. And seeing my parents enjoy their time w/ her is priceless. We were incredibly blessed with good timing on this decision :)20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.
Strive for contentment without complacency. Yup, I actually made that up and yes, that's what I've decided to be my mantra.Sunday, January 02, 2011
Family
The Man has a few favorite old photos of his family. One that has always meant a lot to him is of him and his dad in his dad's work truck. I think The Man is around 2 years old in the photo. For months now, he's mentioned how he wants to recreate the photo w/ The Bun. Of course I thought it was a grand idea. My husband has fond memories of his father. He, unfortunately, only got to spend 14 years with his dad before he passed away. So he treasures those memories and these photos with his father.
Well, we decided yesterday that we were going to take the time to finally do it. And I love how the photos turned out. The Man looked through them all and found the one that best matches his old photo. It's funny. I know it's just a photo. But I'm so glad we took the time to do it because I know it makes The Man very happy. I know he wishes there were more photos of him and our baby so I think this helps make up for it.
The top photo is of The Man w/ his Dad (his dad wearing a work hat) in his dad's work truck. The bottom, The Bun w/ The Man wearing his hard hat and in his work truck.
My absolute favorite:
I can't help it. It has all our babies :)
Well, we decided yesterday that we were going to take the time to finally do it. And I love how the photos turned out. The Man looked through them all and found the one that best matches his old photo. It's funny. I know it's just a photo. But I'm so glad we took the time to do it because I know it makes The Man very happy. I know he wishes there were more photos of him and our baby so I think this helps make up for it.
The top photo is of The Man w/ his Dad (his dad wearing a work hat) in his dad's work truck. The bottom, The Bun w/ The Man wearing his hard hat and in his work truck.
My absolute favorite:
I can't help it. It has all our babies :)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas came and went!
Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's over. It felt like we JUST put the tree up. Well, we kind of did.
I love the holidays. And while this year flew by I loved it just the same. The Bun was showered with love. And I don't mean with just gifts (although my hand hurts from all the thank you notes I had to write on her behalf.) It was so nice seeing everyone in the holiday spirit. Sure, there was some times when I was stressed out but, over all, it was a great Christmas season. The one thing I would change? That my parents aren't getting older. Although I was in no way shape or form ready to be a parent 10 years ago, I wish my parents were a bit younger so they could enjoy even more their time w/ The Bun. And, selfishly, so that they would be here a lot longer.
Seeing my parents w/ The Bun is really something. It warms my heart and makes me appreciate them so much more. Sure, sometimes they criticize my parenting (and you bet that I snap back) but I know it's out of love. They love her sooooooo much. Their love is almost unbelievable. It's so strong that I want her to have it around for a good long time. Of course, they are also pretty upstanding parents to me. And I'm grateful that their love has now included The Man. I'm so thankful and blessed.
There you have it. I'm sure my parents have no idea how much I appreciate them. Well, OK, that's not necessarily true. They have some idea because I try to show it and tell them as much as possible. But still, they probably don't have an idea of the extent of my gratefulness to them.
And The Man! He's so great. You know, I actually think he would make a good stay-at-home Dad. We joke about it but in all seriousness, I think he would be pretty damn good. But seeing how he's the bread winner, that's not going to happen. Poor guy, I think he missed his calling.
Anyhow, I know I'm veering off topic. I feel blessed. I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I pray every day and thank God for all my blessings and I try to be a good person. I know I fall short on many occasions but I think my New Year's resolution is going to be that I try harder and that I be more grateful.
Oh, and yes, of course I would like to drop 20 lbs. but I'm concentrating on my deeper resolution :)
I love the holidays. And while this year flew by I loved it just the same. The Bun was showered with love. And I don't mean with just gifts (although my hand hurts from all the thank you notes I had to write on her behalf.) It was so nice seeing everyone in the holiday spirit. Sure, there was some times when I was stressed out but, over all, it was a great Christmas season. The one thing I would change? That my parents aren't getting older. Although I was in no way shape or form ready to be a parent 10 years ago, I wish my parents were a bit younger so they could enjoy even more their time w/ The Bun. And, selfishly, so that they would be here a lot longer.
Seeing my parents w/ The Bun is really something. It warms my heart and makes me appreciate them so much more. Sure, sometimes they criticize my parenting (and you bet that I snap back) but I know it's out of love. They love her sooooooo much. Their love is almost unbelievable. It's so strong that I want her to have it around for a good long time. Of course, they are also pretty upstanding parents to me. And I'm grateful that their love has now included The Man. I'm so thankful and blessed.
There you have it. I'm sure my parents have no idea how much I appreciate them. Well, OK, that's not necessarily true. They have some idea because I try to show it and tell them as much as possible. But still, they probably don't have an idea of the extent of my gratefulness to them.
And The Man! He's so great. You know, I actually think he would make a good stay-at-home Dad. We joke about it but in all seriousness, I think he would be pretty damn good. But seeing how he's the bread winner, that's not going to happen. Poor guy, I think he missed his calling.
Anyhow, I know I'm veering off topic. I feel blessed. I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I pray every day and thank God for all my blessings and I try to be a good person. I know I fall short on many occasions but I think my New Year's resolution is going to be that I try harder and that I be more grateful.
Oh, and yes, of course I would like to drop 20 lbs. but I'm concentrating on my deeper resolution :)
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Contentment ... unachievable?
When The Man and I were dating, he said he didn't think I would ever be content. I always wanted something more. I have to say, though, that when we moved into our home and had our baby, I was pretty darn satisfied. I didn't want for anything.
Then I went back to work. I realized that I did want something more. I wanted to grow. I think of work as an extension of my education. I was in school for what seemed to be forever. And when I got a job, I knew that I saw advancement as being the same as moving onto the next grade or degree. I know it's not the same thing but that's how I view it.
And now I've been doing the same thing for almost four years. I'm ready for a change but I don't know if it's possible in the same organization. And I'd like to stay in the same organization. But I feel pigeon-holed. I thought about going back to school for certain courses that pertain to my profession. But with a baby, it's not feasible. I mean, it's certainly doable but I don't think it's fair to The Man. And there's no guarantee that it will lead to career advancement.
So I view the rest of my life. I'm very happy. I have a great marriage, a great kid and great family and friends. Seriously, all that is great. And I wonder if it's selfish or unreasonable to want a great career too. I mean, when does the wanting stop?! Am I never satisfied? That would be a sad thing. So that's why I focus on other points of my life because I'm so very grateful. If things switched around and I had a great career but wanted more in my marriage, child, family and friends, I would be seriously depressed. So ... do I need a good smack in the rear? Or is it OK that I feel this way?
I'm not depressed about my current situation. As I mentioned, I'm grateful for my wonderful family, home and personal life, in general. But I would like to have career growth and I would like my opportunities to expand. (I won't go into detail about what I've done to try and do this because discussing the j-o-b is crossing a line I'm not willing to cross! But know that I've made attempts that for one reason or another haven't come to fruition.)
I am blessed in so many ways that I feel selfish for not being content. I'm not rich by any means but I don't want to be like a lottery winner lamenting that he wished he won the megamillion jackpot. Anyway. It's late. And I'm babbling. I just wanted to share this with the one or two people that still read this :) Oh, by the way, Cyn. I tried to comment two different times on your last entry and I don't think it went through. But I swear I'm reading!
Then I went back to work. I realized that I did want something more. I wanted to grow. I think of work as an extension of my education. I was in school for what seemed to be forever. And when I got a job, I knew that I saw advancement as being the same as moving onto the next grade or degree. I know it's not the same thing but that's how I view it.
And now I've been doing the same thing for almost four years. I'm ready for a change but I don't know if it's possible in the same organization. And I'd like to stay in the same organization. But I feel pigeon-holed. I thought about going back to school for certain courses that pertain to my profession. But with a baby, it's not feasible. I mean, it's certainly doable but I don't think it's fair to The Man. And there's no guarantee that it will lead to career advancement.
So I view the rest of my life. I'm very happy. I have a great marriage, a great kid and great family and friends. Seriously, all that is great. And I wonder if it's selfish or unreasonable to want a great career too. I mean, when does the wanting stop?! Am I never satisfied? That would be a sad thing. So that's why I focus on other points of my life because I'm so very grateful. If things switched around and I had a great career but wanted more in my marriage, child, family and friends, I would be seriously depressed. So ... do I need a good smack in the rear? Or is it OK that I feel this way?
I'm not depressed about my current situation. As I mentioned, I'm grateful for my wonderful family, home and personal life, in general. But I would like to have career growth and I would like my opportunities to expand. (I won't go into detail about what I've done to try and do this because discussing the j-o-b is crossing a line I'm not willing to cross! But know that I've made attempts that for one reason or another haven't come to fruition.)
I am blessed in so many ways that I feel selfish for not being content. I'm not rich by any means but I don't want to be like a lottery winner lamenting that he wished he won the megamillion jackpot. Anyway. It's late. And I'm babbling. I just wanted to share this with the one or two people that still read this :) Oh, by the way, Cyn. I tried to comment two different times on your last entry and I don't think it went through. But I swear I'm reading!
Friday, December 17, 2010
What happened?
I heard today that blogs are dying and it's primarily because of social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
My blog barely has a pulse.
I used to get irritated when people said, "I don't have time to _____" (fill in the blank) because I thought, "No. You're choosing not to MAKE time for ______."
I stand by my irritation. I still think it's true. And I admit, I haven't made time for blogging. Because it's so much quicker to write a one sentence update and upload a photo than it is to sit and think about stringing together several thoughts. Plus, I have many more friends and family on FB than I do on this. Sure, it's an open blog but I don't freely give my address to everyone. If they stumble upon it, fine. But they would be hard pressed to located it.
Anyway.
It's my favorite time of the year. And for whatever reason, I haven't really made the time to enjoy it! I remember the last time I felt this way was when I was at a job I didn't like and it drained all my energy. I don't know what it is this year. I suppose it's going to a wedding the first weekend of December and then it was my birthday weekend last weekend so we went out. But still, I don't know where the time goes.
But finally, FINALLY, the tree is up. For some reason, that seals the deal for the Christmas vibe. At least, for me. We had wreaths up but it just wasn't complete without the tree.
I love this time of the year. The Bun is old enough to hopefully enjoy it too. The Man asked for a demotion at work so he's leaving and coming home at a decent hour. Best of all, he's in a good mood and a lot less stressed. I know, it sounds funny that he would ask to be demoted but I worried about his health and basically well-being. While he was a good enough man to leave any frustration at work, he still carried a lot of that stress inside of him. And he was working crazy long hours and missing out The Bun's "firsts" of things like crawling up the stairs.
Thankfully, he was able to request a demotion and still have a job. And I'm thankful to be employed too. Our lives will never be perfect but I'm so very thankful for everything we have.
OK, so I've got to jet and get the baby ready to go. So no proof reading or anything! See? That's why I have a problem w/ blogging. I know that it's going to tick me off when I look back and see errors or wish I had written a thought a different way.
But my blog still has a pulse.
My blog barely has a pulse.
I used to get irritated when people said, "I don't have time to _____" (fill in the blank) because I thought, "No. You're choosing not to MAKE time for ______."
I stand by my irritation. I still think it's true. And I admit, I haven't made time for blogging. Because it's so much quicker to write a one sentence update and upload a photo than it is to sit and think about stringing together several thoughts. Plus, I have many more friends and family on FB than I do on this. Sure, it's an open blog but I don't freely give my address to everyone. If they stumble upon it, fine. But they would be hard pressed to located it.
Anyway.
It's my favorite time of the year. And for whatever reason, I haven't really made the time to enjoy it! I remember the last time I felt this way was when I was at a job I didn't like and it drained all my energy. I don't know what it is this year. I suppose it's going to a wedding the first weekend of December and then it was my birthday weekend last weekend so we went out. But still, I don't know where the time goes.
But finally, FINALLY, the tree is up. For some reason, that seals the deal for the Christmas vibe. At least, for me. We had wreaths up but it just wasn't complete without the tree.
I love this time of the year. The Bun is old enough to hopefully enjoy it too. The Man asked for a demotion at work so he's leaving and coming home at a decent hour. Best of all, he's in a good mood and a lot less stressed. I know, it sounds funny that he would ask to be demoted but I worried about his health and basically well-being. While he was a good enough man to leave any frustration at work, he still carried a lot of that stress inside of him. And he was working crazy long hours and missing out The Bun's "firsts" of things like crawling up the stairs.
Thankfully, he was able to request a demotion and still have a job. And I'm thankful to be employed too. Our lives will never be perfect but I'm so very thankful for everything we have.
OK, so I've got to jet and get the baby ready to go. So no proof reading or anything! See? That's why I have a problem w/ blogging. I know that it's going to tick me off when I look back and see errors or wish I had written a thought a different way.
But my blog still has a pulse.
Monday, November 15, 2010
We have a Christmas Card!
Christmas Cookies Christmas
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I just placed our order! We took a bunch of photos and came up with ... two. But hey, that's all it takes for a Christmas card, right? One (or two) photo you really like and are willing to send out to the masses. But man, the camera doesn't lie, does it? Because it's telling me I need to go on a diet:( The photos I chose were the most flattering for all of us. We actually had some more good ones of the humans but the pups were looking left. Or everyone but The Bun was looking at the camera. It really took quite a few shots. But yes, the ones that were taken of me that were unflattering were REALLY unflattering. Blech. I suppose it's a wake up call. Rude, nevertheless!
On a happier note, I'm really excited I ordered our holidays cards! Of course, the work is only half way done. Once I receive them in the mail, I've got to address, self-address and stamp them.
But, dammit, I'm already in the Christmas spirit! So when I do receive them and it's time to do the not-so-fun-part, I'm just going to throw on some holiday music and go to town! :)
Monday, November 08, 2010
Belated birthday wishes to my Bun
I know, I'm super late. But I don't feel too guilty because I wished The Bun a happy birthday on FaceBook, had a birthday dinner on her real birthday with The Man and my folks and then had a small but unintentionally expensive birthday party at the Oakland Zoo. This baby is LOVED.
Of course, there is that guilt I have because I've been meaning to post about her birthday. I did it for her furry sisters, for crying out loud. But I also did not throw parties for them so there's the trade off. We also had a really big scare with Piko, a visit from the in-laws and attempted to take holiday photos to get a leg up on the annual Christmas card. We've been busy.
I posted cute photos of her birthday festivities on FB - blogger is so neglected! Well, her birthday dinner. I've found that The Bun is hesitant to dig into cake with her hands which I find endearing. She's also easily alarmed by crowd and noise so we whispered/sang to her the birthday song. Just like all moms, my baby charms me to pieces. Her personality is showing more and more each day and she is one tough cookie with strong opinions. For a one year old. I shouldn't be surprised, I name her after my mom who is one of the toughest women I know. She is also still my very sweet baby and I appreciate the balance.
I so badly wanted to post the video The Man put together commemorating The Bun's first year. But he's been working overtime (much like when Ava was a fresh out of the hospital, ironically!) and hasn't had the time to finish it. Totally understandable, of course. So I'm going to post the commercial that The Man says captures how he feels about The Bun. And after he showed it to me, I could see what he meant. I'm impressed how a commercial can capture how it feels to be a parent because this will certainly be us.
Of course, there is that guilt I have because I've been meaning to post about her birthday. I did it for her furry sisters, for crying out loud. But I also did not throw parties for them so there's the trade off. We also had a really big scare with Piko, a visit from the in-laws and attempted to take holiday photos to get a leg up on the annual Christmas card. We've been busy.
I posted cute photos of her birthday festivities on FB - blogger is so neglected! Well, her birthday dinner. I've found that The Bun is hesitant to dig into cake with her hands which I find endearing. She's also easily alarmed by crowd and noise so we whispered/sang to her the birthday song. Just like all moms, my baby charms me to pieces. Her personality is showing more and more each day and she is one tough cookie with strong opinions. For a one year old. I shouldn't be surprised, I name her after my mom who is one of the toughest women I know. She is also still my very sweet baby and I appreciate the balance.
I so badly wanted to post the video The Man put together commemorating The Bun's first year. But he's been working overtime (much like when Ava was a fresh out of the hospital, ironically!) and hasn't had the time to finish it. Totally understandable, of course. So I'm going to post the commercial that The Man says captures how he feels about The Bun. And after he showed it to me, I could see what he meant. I'm impressed how a commercial can capture how it feels to be a parent because this will certainly be us.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Babies in fur coats
I intended my next entry to be about The Bun's first birthday. The Man is working on her video and I wanted to post photos from her actual birthday and her little get together.
Then, yesterday, an ordinary day turned into an extraordinary one when I came home to find vomit on the floor. I then turned the corner into the kitchen and found Piko lying next to her urine. She was less than a foot away from where she was supposed to go.
I knew something was terribly wrong.
I took her to our veterinary as an emergency visit. After waiting 1 1/2 hours, we were seen. And I was told she has Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. Without going into a huge explanation, what I thought would be an expensive visit and pills to be taken at home ended up getting Piko immediately admitted, blood drawn and her red blood cell count monitored.
We hoped that we would be able to take her today. But her red blood cell count went down over 50%. So she's getting a transfusion with the hope that it will slow down her body's attack on itself and allow the meds to work.
This situation has brought both of us to tears. She is so sick. We want our furry baby healthy again so we can take her home where she belongs.
Then, yesterday, an ordinary day turned into an extraordinary one when I came home to find vomit on the floor. I then turned the corner into the kitchen and found Piko lying next to her urine. She was less than a foot away from where she was supposed to go.
I knew something was terribly wrong.
I took her to our veterinary as an emergency visit. After waiting 1 1/2 hours, we were seen. And I was told she has Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. Without going into a huge explanation, what I thought would be an expensive visit and pills to be taken at home ended up getting Piko immediately admitted, blood drawn and her red blood cell count monitored.
We hoped that we would be able to take her today. But her red blood cell count went down over 50%. So she's getting a transfusion with the hope that it will slow down her body's attack on itself and allow the meds to work.
This situation has brought both of us to tears. She is so sick. We want our furry baby healthy again so we can take her home where she belongs.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Getting wayyy ahead of myself
The Bun is not a year old yet but I'm already thinking of her education. And worried that it will be expensive. See, we live in a school district that I do not want The Bun to attend. I grew up in this school district. I have heard it's not any better than when I was a child and I believe it. I've already told The Man that we will either have to move when she is four years old or think about private school. See, I interact with educators on a daily basis. You better believe I was scoping out schools when The Bun was in the oven. That's right, she hadn't even been born yet.
I've already decided the city I wanted to move to if we had the option to go that route. But I actually like where I live. I like the location of our home, the neighborhood and the convenience of having many places and people near by. Plus, and this is a big plus, we can afford our home. I think that even with the equity we will have built from this home, we will only be able to afford a fixer upper in the city with a nice school district.
But then I discovered a somewhat near Charter school. I know, I know, charter schools have been in the news lately and are being hailed as the answer to bad public schools. But I jumped on that bandwagon a long time ago. And, be still my beating heart, this one goes all the way to high school.
So I called today. That's right. My baby girl isn't even a year old and I called. I found out some information and know that I need to start planning in a couple of years. But I can't help it, I really hope that we can get her into this school! To be able to have a great education for free from Kindergarten to 12th grade would be amazing. I'm more than willing to be an active participant and meet the demands they have on parents. Because she's worth it. And because if all the parents are meeting these expectations, we should be be able to create a desireable learning environment for our kids. A place that doesn't depend solely on the teachers to make an impact but everyone truly believes it takes a village to raise a child. Accountability, dammit.
Yes, I fall under whatever crazy parent category you may want to file me under. But that's what happens.
I've already decided the city I wanted to move to if we had the option to go that route. But I actually like where I live. I like the location of our home, the neighborhood and the convenience of having many places and people near by. Plus, and this is a big plus, we can afford our home. I think that even with the equity we will have built from this home, we will only be able to afford a fixer upper in the city with a nice school district.
But then I discovered a somewhat near Charter school. I know, I know, charter schools have been in the news lately and are being hailed as the answer to bad public schools. But I jumped on that bandwagon a long time ago. And, be still my beating heart, this one goes all the way to high school.
So I called today. That's right. My baby girl isn't even a year old and I called. I found out some information and know that I need to start planning in a couple of years. But I can't help it, I really hope that we can get her into this school! To be able to have a great education for free from Kindergarten to 12th grade would be amazing. I'm more than willing to be an active participant and meet the demands they have on parents. Because she's worth it. And because if all the parents are meeting these expectations, we should be be able to create a desireable learning environment for our kids. A place that doesn't depend solely on the teachers to make an impact but everyone truly believes it takes a village to raise a child. Accountability, dammit.
Yes, I fall under whatever crazy parent category you may want to file me under. But that's what happens.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Guess she can't be called The Bun for much longer
She's been out of the oven for nearly a year! Where did the time go? It was a tough labor. An even tougher post partum. And then the sleep deprivation. Wow.
But then there was also the first giggle. Her sweet demeanor right out the gate. Her personality coming through as she develops, getting bigger and stronger. The way she needs to be w/ me when she sees me in the room.
Admittedly, I sometimes miss the freedom to do anything. Or nothing:) My time feels borrowed because I have to shape my day around her. But the only time I really miss that freedom is when I'm sick. Because I'm a weenie when I'm sick:p But it's what you give up when you have a baby-selfishness:) I know, it sounds negative but it's not. I have friends who have held off because of that very reason. And I respect that.
My point? I'm blessed because The Bun is awesome. She has been rewarding me w/ little gifts. And big gifts, like sleep! These 11+ months have given me a greater appreciation for my husband, our families, and quite honestly, the good parents I've encountered. I also love to pieces my sweet, sweet baby girl. She amazes me and I think she is made up of all the best traits of me & The Man.
But then there was also the first giggle. Her sweet demeanor right out the gate. Her personality coming through as she develops, getting bigger and stronger. The way she needs to be w/ me when she sees me in the room.
Admittedly, I sometimes miss the freedom to do anything. Or nothing:) My time feels borrowed because I have to shape my day around her. But the only time I really miss that freedom is when I'm sick. Because I'm a weenie when I'm sick:p But it's what you give up when you have a baby-selfishness:) I know, it sounds negative but it's not. I have friends who have held off because of that very reason. And I respect that.
My point? I'm blessed because The Bun is awesome. She has been rewarding me w/ little gifts. And big gifts, like sleep! These 11+ months have given me a greater appreciation for my husband, our families, and quite honestly, the good parents I've encountered. I also love to pieces my sweet, sweet baby girl. She amazes me and I think she is made up of all the best traits of me & The Man.
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Friday, September 10, 2010
Our littlest baby for three years ...
... before the hairless one came in and took over our world:)
Oh Pili. What an adventure with this girl. When we first took her home, I was scared we had made a mistake. She was so different from our first mild-mannered pup. And she kind of smelled like rotten eggs. I'll never forget that. And the first night she was home, she was kenneled just like Piko. UNlike Piko, she wasn't going to stand for it. She sounded like a screeching monkey and made such a racket! And, more than once, we had to extract her from her kennel and clean both Pili and her kennel because there was poop everywhere.
I'll be honest, I wanted to return her. We had family friends who went through the same pup place as us who didn't have a love match with pups they took home and returned them, eating the deposit fee. After the 3rd, 4th or 5th night of interrupted sleep (they all blended together), that sounded like a mighty fine idea. I was ready to throw in the towel. Pili was so much work - she kept all of us up, she was stinky and Piko seemed indifferent if we kept her or not. But The Man was insistent that we weather it out and see what happens.
Thank goodness we did.
Pili is so loving and sweet. She will lick your face until the cows come home ... whatever that means. Seriously, though, I wanted to see if she would get tired so I decided to see if I could just sit it out and see if she got tired. After over a minute had passed, I realized that she was going to win because I couldn't take it anymore. Too much love!
Pili is also pretty smart. If she had more disciplined parents, she would probably be able to do really cool tricks. She was attentive during obedient school and can somewhat be trusted off leash. But, just like every other parent, I don't trust the people (dogs) AROUND her. So she stays on leash most of the time.
They both have been so great around The Bun. And goodness knows she rocked their world just as much as she rocked mine ;) But it looks like Pili is determined to make The Bun her best friend. While Piko checks in, sniffs and stays a little bit before walking away, Pili no longer holds back now that The Bun is cruisin'. She licks her face (we monitor that because she can really give too much love sometimes) and tries to play with her! Pili will crouch down and bark because she wants to be chased. The Bun thinks this is hilarious and laughs. Most recently, she has started chasing Pili! Be careful what you wish for ;)
Happy 4th Birthday to our furry baby! I am so blessed to have a wonderful little family. Don't get me wrong, there is an unbelievable amount of poop generated by the three of them, sometimes cleaning gets overwhelming and I give up ... but they bring so much joy to The Man and me.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Happy belated 4th Birthday...I've been a bad puppy mama
My furry firstborn! Last week was her birthday and while I acknowledged her on a social network, I think she deserves a blog entry. Because she's my baby! :)
Little did we both know:
- she would get a little sister a month after Piko joined our family who we would nickname "monster" ... who Piko would grow to love in a torturer/victim sort of way.
- she would get her period even though I had asked the vet if we could do the surgery just less than a month before ("Oh no, she still has a ways to go before she gets her first period. She's still young and we don't want to be premature." Effer.)
- My dad would whisper to me, "She's become a little lady!"when he's the one that discovered Piko got her period. It's still one of my favorite quotes from my Dad.
- I would later have the audacity to bring home a hairless puppy that needed way more attention than the monster.
Piko is a great pup and is sort of the balance to her littler sister. She is affectionate but then has a little aloofness to her that reminds me of a cat. It's a gamble if she will come when you call her but when she decides it's time to give you some love, it's very very sweet.
I love my Piko and I can't believe she's only been with us for this long because it feels like she's been part of the family forever.
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Friday, July 30, 2010
Hey Baby
You're almost 10 months old. You are growing SO FAST now! And I'm not the greatest writer right now but I don't want to forget ...
1. You are crawling everywhere! Your little chub chub fingers LOVE electrical outlets (yah, your parents have quickly baby-proofed the plugs) and gone are the days where we could lie you in the middle of the bed, go to the bathroom and you would be lying in the same position:) Well, those days have been gone for a while. But we could get away with folding clothes on the bed while you lied or rolled around on the bed.
2. Nana & Papa taught you "Beautiful Eyes." This charms me to no end. See, I was taught this (batting eyes and blowing a kiss) when I was a baby and I would have never guessed that seeing you do this same silly thing would make my heart melt ten times over. Your dad keeps meaning to videotape you because you don't quite know how to bat your eyes. Or blow kisses. So it kind of looks like you have long blinks or a twitch and then you pucker your lips like you ate something sour. Oh. My. Goodness. So cute! And I know it's not just because I did it when I was little ... The Man thinks it's the cutest thing ever.
3. You can be a little dramatic. You fake cry but just when I think I know you're faking, you get riled up and then there are real tears. "Oh honey!" exclaims your mama! Talk about feeling like a bad mommy. I don't know if that's part of your game, baby girl, but you get picked up and cuddled within seconds ;) Well played, Bun.
4. You are a fantastic sleeper! I love you no matter what but, man, I really LIKE you for having great sleeping habits :) Of course, we stick to your bedroom routine as if we were getting paid to do it. But the PAY OFF (you sleeping through the night) is well worth it so we happily stick to your evening schedule.
5. The Great Teeth Fake Out. When you were around three months old, you had a white speck on your bottom gums. You were also drooling a lot in addition to your regular spitting up. Your dad and I thought a tooth was coming in. Your Nana swore a tooth was coming in. Even your day care provider seriously thought a tooth was coming in. Here we are, you at nearly 10 months of age, and no tooth. I don't mind because 1. I'm still breastfeeding and 2. you still have that sweet infant breath. But I know you're wishing you could join us at the dinner table.
Baby girl, in case you haven't figured it out yet, you have changed my life. I still have a hard time believing I'm a mom (maybe you will understand better when you're grown up.) It's not a bad thing but if you've read my previous entries, I'm not a woman who always knew she was going to be a mom. So knowing that I am yours and you are mine still blows my mind.
And I dread the time when you push me away because I am giving you too many kisses. But that's what you make me do. I see you and want to shower you with kisses and hugs. Especially when you first wake up. (You being a super chubby baby probably also makes you extraordinarily cuddly:)
Just like your dad, I think you bring out the best in me. I want to be a better person every day so that I'm good to you and you also have a good example while growing up. I LOVE YOU so much and you're STINKIN' ADORABLE.
1. You are crawling everywhere! Your little chub chub fingers LOVE electrical outlets (yah, your parents have quickly baby-proofed the plugs) and gone are the days where we could lie you in the middle of the bed, go to the bathroom and you would be lying in the same position:) Well, those days have been gone for a while. But we could get away with folding clothes on the bed while you lied or rolled around on the bed.
2. Nana & Papa taught you "Beautiful Eyes." This charms me to no end. See, I was taught this (batting eyes and blowing a kiss) when I was a baby and I would have never guessed that seeing you do this same silly thing would make my heart melt ten times over. Your dad keeps meaning to videotape you because you don't quite know how to bat your eyes. Or blow kisses. So it kind of looks like you have long blinks or a twitch and then you pucker your lips like you ate something sour. Oh. My. Goodness. So cute! And I know it's not just because I did it when I was little ... The Man thinks it's the cutest thing ever.
3. You can be a little dramatic. You fake cry but just when I think I know you're faking, you get riled up and then there are real tears. "Oh honey!" exclaims your mama! Talk about feeling like a bad mommy. I don't know if that's part of your game, baby girl, but you get picked up and cuddled within seconds ;) Well played, Bun.
4. You are a fantastic sleeper! I love you no matter what but, man, I really LIKE you for having great sleeping habits :) Of course, we stick to your bedroom routine as if we were getting paid to do it. But the PAY OFF (you sleeping through the night) is well worth it so we happily stick to your evening schedule.
5. The Great Teeth Fake Out. When you were around three months old, you had a white speck on your bottom gums. You were also drooling a lot in addition to your regular spitting up. Your dad and I thought a tooth was coming in. Your Nana swore a tooth was coming in. Even your day care provider seriously thought a tooth was coming in. Here we are, you at nearly 10 months of age, and no tooth. I don't mind because 1. I'm still breastfeeding and 2. you still have that sweet infant breath. But I know you're wishing you could join us at the dinner table.
Baby girl, in case you haven't figured it out yet, you have changed my life. I still have a hard time believing I'm a mom (maybe you will understand better when you're grown up.) It's not a bad thing but if you've read my previous entries, I'm not a woman who always knew she was going to be a mom. So knowing that I am yours and you are mine still blows my mind.
And I dread the time when you push me away because I am giving you too many kisses. But that's what you make me do. I see you and want to shower you with kisses and hugs. Especially when you first wake up. (You being a super chubby baby probably also makes you extraordinarily cuddly:)
Just like your dad, I think you bring out the best in me. I want to be a better person every day so that I'm good to you and you also have a good example while growing up. I LOVE YOU so much and you're STINKIN' ADORABLE.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Ode to the Bun
Sticky Bun, you are now nine months old. Just the other day, I had to lower your pack and play because you can pull yourself up to your knees and, sometimes, to your feet.
You are no longer bald in the back. I don't think you ever cared but it makes me happy.
You sleep so good now. I never take it for granted but, boy, do I feel it when you're having an off night!
You eat, eat, eat. And I LOVE those big ol' chubby cheeks you've got. It's became sort of your trademark.
You and I are very lucky I have a coworker/friend who had a daughter nearly a year older than you. She has been outfitting you for months, saving me money.
Although we are saving money there, I still have day care and other expenses so I've had to be an even better bargain shopper for my clothes. I've reintroduced myself to Old Navy. Now where to go for work clothes ...
Daddy wants another already. I just want to enjoy YOU for right now. Plus my c-section is still sore. True that.
Your nana and papa rock. We are very lucky to have them so close by and the fact they are willing to watch you part time during the week. Saves us a lot of money and, of course, we know that you are loved and cared for every minute you are there. (I'll worry about the spoiling factor later.)
You are wonderful. We love you so much. Sometimes it can be challenging but your Daddy is very supportive and very much an active parent. I love him lots. We're a good family.
And when you're in therapy as an adult for whatever reason, and you show your therapist this blog because it's caused you anxiety or embarrassment, don't forget that I wrote we love you and YOU'RE WELCOME for giving you a good family :)
You are no longer bald in the back. I don't think you ever cared but it makes me happy.
You sleep so good now. I never take it for granted but, boy, do I feel it when you're having an off night!
You eat, eat, eat. And I LOVE those big ol' chubby cheeks you've got. It's became sort of your trademark.
You and I are very lucky I have a coworker/friend who had a daughter nearly a year older than you. She has been outfitting you for months, saving me money.
Although we are saving money there, I still have day care and other expenses so I've had to be an even better bargain shopper for my clothes. I've reintroduced myself to Old Navy. Now where to go for work clothes ...
Daddy wants another already. I just want to enjoy YOU for right now. Plus my c-section is still sore. True that.
Your nana and papa rock. We are very lucky to have them so close by and the fact they are willing to watch you part time during the week. Saves us a lot of money and, of course, we know that you are loved and cared for every minute you are there. (I'll worry about the spoiling factor later.)
You are wonderful. We love you so much. Sometimes it can be challenging but your Daddy is very supportive and very much an active parent. I love him lots. We're a good family.
And when you're in therapy as an adult for whatever reason, and you show your therapist this blog because it's caused you anxiety or embarrassment, don't forget that I wrote we love you and YOU'RE WELCOME for giving you a good family :)
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Sinking in
1/3 of my colleagues are gone. One of my absolutely favorite team members was also let go.
We all know we shouldn't blog about work because it could be TROUBLE.
But this isn't an entry full of resentment, hostility or hate.
I'm just sad. Because many have been around for a long time and I've admired their work. I know times are tough and companies need to make tough decisions.
But man.
We all know we shouldn't blog about work because it could be TROUBLE.
But this isn't an entry full of resentment, hostility or hate.
I'm just sad. Because many have been around for a long time and I've admired their work. I know times are tough and companies need to make tough decisions.
But man.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Made the choice to NOT go with the life-changing decision
This is when I'm not sure where this clearly goes. Is it not suitable for a public blog? Or is it OK? Whenever discussing The J-O-B, even if it's positive or just not necessarily negative, it's a questionable gray area.
I'm still unclear of what I can write without possibly putting myself in the trouble zone. So I will just leave at that. I chose not to make a life-changing decision. And while I feel over all good about this decision and know it was the right one, I kind of mourn the old me, the one would have made the other choice. Because until this situation, I didn't realize that there was new me and an old me. I thought I was same ol' me. But I'm not.
I'm still unclear of what I can write without possibly putting myself in the trouble zone. So I will just leave at that. I chose not to make a life-changing decision. And while I feel over all good about this decision and know it was the right one, I kind of mourn the old me, the one would have made the other choice. Because until this situation, I didn't realize that there was new me and an old me. I thought I was same ol' me. But I'm not.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
7 going on 8 months
My baby amazes me and The Man every day. Truly, just about every darn day. Ahhh, don't we smack of new parents? ;) When she does something that absolutely knocks my socks off, I think a couple of things:
1. The Bun is freakin' AWESOME!
2. This is ridiculous. I've seen many babies do exactly the same thing and not care a bit.
For instance, she can now hold her bottle and feed herself. You would have thought she figured out world peace, I was so excited. See, she's primarily breastfed and only every so often has a bottle. Sure, she's taken a bottle for a while now but she hasn't been able to hold it. And because I breastfeed her, there's hardly a time for me to teach her to hold a bottle. But just this week, my mom surprised me and said, "Look! She's figured out how to hold a bottle!" Shortly thereafter, she also figured out how to put it in her mouth. (I should ask The Man to videotape her. Because it is hilarious seeing the trial and error of that. She's bipped her nose, eye and just about every part of her face. No worries, she never gets hurt.)
Here are some other cool things she's doing that I know other babies have done, some even sooner but I don't give two hoots. I still think she's a kick ass baby:
* She sits up
* She scoots backwards
* She has consistently slept through the night (by my standards, not "7 hours = full night = 2:30 AM" standards) ... not all the time but most of the time now
* The one above is such a big deal that I'm going to highlight that one again
* She is so generous w/ her smiles
* She is very strong (girlfriend has a baby Kung Fu grip that can bring the pain)
I'm sure there's more but that's just off the top of my head.
I'm not delusional. I know she's your middle-of-the-road baby to everyone else. And there are times when having a baby is extremely challenging. To be perfectly honest, it can be very hard at times. But to me, she is just so so special. She makes everything worth it and she certainly makes sure the good outweigh the bad. I love The Bun.
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6/10/10 Update: I guess I am superstitious ... I knew there was a reason why I stopped mentioning The Bun's sleeping pattern on FaceBook! I feared the minute I wrote she slept 10-12 hours, she would stop. And last night, after writing this entry, she woke up three times. Son of a biscuit.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Just wrote a whole post that took an hour
And the GD blogger erased it.
Well son of a biscuit. (I'm highly irritated. No, I'm PISSED, so I'm going to walk away now.)
Well son of a biscuit. (I'm highly irritated. No, I'm PISSED, so I'm going to walk away now.)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Baby spit up
*We are ALL sick in The Household. I thought I was immune because I didn't catch anything for a full week. But The Man & Bun proved to be too strong. Or, at least, their virus. Ick. But here's a little gem I didn't want to forget for The Bun to read later.*
Since The Bun was born, she had a serious spit up problem. We talked to her pediatrician and he said that it's normal for some babies. Because she was so small and because she spit up so much, we had to track her poop to make sure she was eating and keeping enough in. Because we couldn't measure her food intake due to being breastfed.
Well, we were told by her pediatrician that the spitting up would taper off around four months. It took SIX. Doesn't sound like a big deal? I mean, smack a bib on her and call it a day, right? She would spit up so much it was like she was throwing up. The only reason we knew that we shouldn't be alarmed was because it wasn't projectile spit up (which would make it throw up.) Since her pediatrician wasn't concerned, we weren't concerned. Well, "we" being her parents. Her grandparents, however, were always concerned. We were asked over and over again if this was normal because they had never seen a baby spit up so much. A good thing to say to new parents, by the way. But once The Bun plumped up, they stopped worrying. Because, for them, that was the best measurement of her food intake.
As my dad eloquently put it, "Your daughter's like a drunk. She babbles and then vomits. And then she keeps babbling like nothing happened." Thanks, Dad!
Since The Bun was born, she had a serious spit up problem. We talked to her pediatrician and he said that it's normal for some babies. Because she was so small and because she spit up so much, we had to track her poop to make sure she was eating and keeping enough in. Because we couldn't measure her food intake due to being breastfed.
Well, we were told by her pediatrician that the spitting up would taper off around four months. It took SIX. Doesn't sound like a big deal? I mean, smack a bib on her and call it a day, right? She would spit up so much it was like she was throwing up. The only reason we knew that we shouldn't be alarmed was because it wasn't projectile spit up (which would make it throw up.) Since her pediatrician wasn't concerned, we weren't concerned. Well, "we" being her parents. Her grandparents, however, were always concerned. We were asked over and over again if this was normal because they had never seen a baby spit up so much. A good thing to say to new parents, by the way. But once The Bun plumped up, they stopped worrying. Because, for them, that was the best measurement of her food intake.
As my dad eloquently put it, "Your daughter's like a drunk. She babbles and then vomits. And then she keeps babbling like nothing happened." Thanks, Dad!
Saturday, May 08, 2010
I think our doctor may be The Man
at the very least, a professional bad ass.
Let me back track. The Man, my hubby, had Anthem Blue Cross health insurance for the longest time. When I became pregnant, we discussed and deliberated for a while about him moving to Kaiser Permanente. He let me make the decision. When he had open enrollment in December, we moved him to KP and added The Bun and me to his insurance. I wanted to do this for several reasons:
1. If the economy took a turn for the worse and I somehow lost my job, Ava & I would be covered and would be able to keep our doctors.
2. Which may actually be 1a. I LOVE my ObGyn. I loved her before I was pregnant and she became even more endearing when I was with child :) I find her to be capable, professional, sympathetic, attentive and accessible. I also really like my primary physician. I don't see her nearly as much as my ObGyn but she's direct, courteous and has been spot on so far. I'm also comfortable with KP's Optometry, Dermatology, Psychology, Prenatal departments & programs.
3. The Bun has a kick ass Pediatrician. He's even been recognized locally as an outstanding doctor. Enough said.
4. We live so close to both the hospital and the medical offices. Sooooo important and such an advantage, I've realized.
5. The Man's current (well, at the time we were figuring out if we should change his health care coverage) primary physician was awful. How awful? Unprofessional, lazy and ethically questionable. Throughout the years, when I was able coerce my husband into seeing a doctor for various ailments, his experiences would make me cringe. Oh sure, the doctor was nice enough. But he asked inappropriate questions, would make inappropriate comments and, in a nutshell, was what I called a Major Douche.
All right, I have a point. Other than the fact I'm a big fan of Kaiser Permanente. I know, some people don't like it or have had terrible experiences. And I've proclaimed it on Facebook and I'll proclaim it here. I think KP tends to get a bad rep because they are so huge and have so many patients that bad experiences are bound to happen to do the sheer volume of people who have health care under KP. I have been very fortunate. I have either had excellent luck of the draw and ended up with a fantastic doctor or I've received a referral and ended up with a fantastic doctor. I also think the programs and services they offer their patients, particularly pregnant patients, are superb.
But anyway.
As I mentioned in previous entry, on one day I took The Bun to her doctor's appointment and then accompanied The Man on his first doctor's appointment with Kaiser. His previous experience was with smaller, much more intimate doctor's offices so I could see how he would want company on his first KP visit. And I was really happy that when he moved from Blue Cross to KP and needed to choose a doctor, MY primary physician was available. (As you KP peeps may know, that doesn't always happen.) I was so excited because if I left it up to him, he would take months to choose a doctor. Probably until he was on death's door and he would pick anyone who would see him. He was relieved that he got a doctor that was referred by a reliable source. Me!
He said that his check up was much more thorough than the once from Major Douche. I kind of figured that would happen. And when our doctor saw the results from his blood pressure check, she said something to the effect of, "Your blood pressure is high. How long has it been since your blood pressure has been checked?" He said 2004 when Major Douche told him it was high but The Man did not want to be put on meds so he lowered it through diet and exercise. But did Major Douche stay on top of it and keep monitoring it? NO.
Let me go off for a minute because I LOVE my husband so much it hurts. I figured his high blood pressure would return. I work for an organization that is the leading funder in the nation (outside of the government) of heart disease and stroke research and prevention. I KNOW that his health may be in danger. But I don't have Dr preceding my name. And I'm his wife. So after one fight about me nagging him, I've steered clear. I kind of doubted myself, anyway, because of the fact that I wasn't a doctor. I felt like I was hypocrite, too, since I didn't eat the healthiest. He always points out my love for chocolate. Yes, I am a chocaholic.
Well, let me tell you, our primary physician is a bad ass. And may have to take the title of The Man. Because she laid it all out. She went on to say something along the lines of, "We need to lower your blood pressure right away. I'm concerned because this has gone untreated for years. You may feel fine but that's because you won't feel anything. You won't feel the damage it's doing to your heart. Until you have a heart attack or stroke. But any damage that has been done is permanent and irreversible. So we must do something about this right away. You need to start a low salt diet and you will have to do more exercise. I am going to schedule an appointment with you in six weeks. If your blood pressure hasn't gone down, we will need to put you on blood pressure medication."
Word, doctor. WORD.
My husband is great. He actually cares about his health, I KNOW he does. But I see how having a crappy and negligent doctor can give a person a false sense of good health. After all, if Major Douche wasn't concerned (even though we both knew he was a Major Douche), why should The Man be? I get it. But I'm glad our doctor said what she said. Because I knew he HEARD her. And he knows how much our family needs him to be around for a good looooong time. So he's going to take off work a little early and go to his follow up appointment. And he's already reading up on how he can lower his blood pressure through diet.
Say what you will about KP. And hell, I'm sure I'm going to end up eventually with a bad experience because that's what the odds are, right? But I am so glad we made the decision to all be under Kaiser Permanente. I received what I think was some of the best treatment during my pregnancy, throughout my labor and delivery and post partum. My daughter, the light of my life, has a doctor that I am 100% confident has her best interest in mind. And now I feel like my husband is getting the health care he needs and deserves.
PS: I also believe in Chiropractic care and other holistic treatments. I think Chiropractic is a primary reason I had a healthy and relatively easy (health-wise) pregnancy. But that's a whole other entry!
Let me back track. The Man, my hubby, had Anthem Blue Cross health insurance for the longest time. When I became pregnant, we discussed and deliberated for a while about him moving to Kaiser Permanente. He let me make the decision. When he had open enrollment in December, we moved him to KP and added The Bun and me to his insurance. I wanted to do this for several reasons:
1. If the economy took a turn for the worse and I somehow lost my job, Ava & I would be covered and would be able to keep our doctors.
2. Which may actually be 1a. I LOVE my ObGyn. I loved her before I was pregnant and she became even more endearing when I was with child :) I find her to be capable, professional, sympathetic, attentive and accessible. I also really like my primary physician. I don't see her nearly as much as my ObGyn but she's direct, courteous and has been spot on so far. I'm also comfortable with KP's Optometry, Dermatology, Psychology, Prenatal departments & programs.
3. The Bun has a kick ass Pediatrician. He's even been recognized locally as an outstanding doctor. Enough said.
4. We live so close to both the hospital and the medical offices. Sooooo important and such an advantage, I've realized.
5. The Man's current (well, at the time we were figuring out if we should change his health care coverage) primary physician was awful. How awful? Unprofessional, lazy and ethically questionable. Throughout the years, when I was able coerce my husband into seeing a doctor for various ailments, his experiences would make me cringe. Oh sure, the doctor was nice enough. But he asked inappropriate questions, would make inappropriate comments and, in a nutshell, was what I called a Major Douche.
All right, I have a point. Other than the fact I'm a big fan of Kaiser Permanente. I know, some people don't like it or have had terrible experiences. And I've proclaimed it on Facebook and I'll proclaim it here. I think KP tends to get a bad rep because they are so huge and have so many patients that bad experiences are bound to happen to do the sheer volume of people who have health care under KP. I have been very fortunate. I have either had excellent luck of the draw and ended up with a fantastic doctor or I've received a referral and ended up with a fantastic doctor. I also think the programs and services they offer their patients, particularly pregnant patients, are superb.
But anyway.
As I mentioned in previous entry, on one day I took The Bun to her doctor's appointment and then accompanied The Man on his first doctor's appointment with Kaiser. His previous experience was with smaller, much more intimate doctor's offices so I could see how he would want company on his first KP visit. And I was really happy that when he moved from Blue Cross to KP and needed to choose a doctor, MY primary physician was available. (As you KP peeps may know, that doesn't always happen.) I was so excited because if I left it up to him, he would take months to choose a doctor. Probably until he was on death's door and he would pick anyone who would see him. He was relieved that he got a doctor that was referred by a reliable source. Me!
He said that his check up was much more thorough than the once from Major Douche. I kind of figured that would happen. And when our doctor saw the results from his blood pressure check, she said something to the effect of, "Your blood pressure is high. How long has it been since your blood pressure has been checked?" He said 2004 when Major Douche told him it was high but The Man did not want to be put on meds so he lowered it through diet and exercise. But did Major Douche stay on top of it and keep monitoring it? NO.
Let me go off for a minute because I LOVE my husband so much it hurts. I figured his high blood pressure would return. I work for an organization that is the leading funder in the nation (outside of the government) of heart disease and stroke research and prevention. I KNOW that his health may be in danger. But I don't have Dr preceding my name. And I'm his wife. So after one fight about me nagging him, I've steered clear. I kind of doubted myself, anyway, because of the fact that I wasn't a doctor. I felt like I was hypocrite, too, since I didn't eat the healthiest. He always points out my love for chocolate. Yes, I am a chocaholic.
Well, let me tell you, our primary physician is a bad ass. And may have to take the title of The Man. Because she laid it all out. She went on to say something along the lines of, "We need to lower your blood pressure right away. I'm concerned because this has gone untreated for years. You may feel fine but that's because you won't feel anything. You won't feel the damage it's doing to your heart. Until you have a heart attack or stroke. But any damage that has been done is permanent and irreversible. So we must do something about this right away. You need to start a low salt diet and you will have to do more exercise. I am going to schedule an appointment with you in six weeks. If your blood pressure hasn't gone down, we will need to put you on blood pressure medication."
Word, doctor. WORD.
My husband is great. He actually cares about his health, I KNOW he does. But I see how having a crappy and negligent doctor can give a person a false sense of good health. After all, if Major Douche wasn't concerned (even though we both knew he was a Major Douche), why should The Man be? I get it. But I'm glad our doctor said what she said. Because I knew he HEARD her. And he knows how much our family needs him to be around for a good looooong time. So he's going to take off work a little early and go to his follow up appointment. And he's already reading up on how he can lower his blood pressure through diet.
Say what you will about KP. And hell, I'm sure I'm going to end up eventually with a bad experience because that's what the odds are, right? But I am so glad we made the decision to all be under Kaiser Permanente. I received what I think was some of the best treatment during my pregnancy, throughout my labor and delivery and post partum. My daughter, the light of my life, has a doctor that I am 100% confident has her best interest in mind. And now I feel like my husband is getting the health care he needs and deserves.
PS: I also believe in Chiropractic care and other holistic treatments. I think Chiropractic is a primary reason I had a healthy and relatively easy (health-wise) pregnancy. But that's a whole other entry!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Oh hell, what was I going to blog about?
Oh hell, even though I had one night of good sleep last night, the four bad nights prior have really messed with my head.
Serious.
I kept thinking, got to make time to write an entry. I don't want to forget [such and such]. But I don't remember the such and such!
It's been a rough few days in The household. The Man has been sick. The Man got The Bun sick. The Man and I got into a spat. We got over it but I felt like I couldn't ask The Man to help with The Bun because he was sick. It got so bad that I slept with The Bun (haven't done that since she was a newborn) but it didn't help, poor thing.
There has been challenges at work but, in the end, I am very happy to be employed and don't want to screw that up.
I was having awful sleep not just because The Bun was waking up but because, due to his sickness, The Man was snoring the loudest he has ever snored. EVER. No, not exaggerating. It is so loud that it would wake me up like an alarm clock. Between the two of them, I was getting very little sleep. Maybe 1/2 hour at a time.
I was drinking three cups of coffee a day. Finally, I asked The Man if he could take night time duty last night because I was afraid I was going to crash my car during the day. Yesterday I was Super Mama. I had taken The Bun to her doctor's appointment. Later, I took The Man to HIS doctor's appointment (at his request.) Although he was still coughing, I had gone with him to his doctor's appointment and found out he sounded worse than he was. Well, SHOOT. Hellz yah I was going to ask him to man up (hehe, man up) and let me sleep. To be fair to him, I hadn't asked until this moment. I knew he was sick yet working so I figured I should take one for the team. His cough sounded awful. It still does. But the doc assured us that it wasn't pneumonia or anything serious. It was a cold but really bad allergies too. Sweet.
Upon hearing the doc's diagnosis, I asked him to sleep in the spare room (which is what I did the night before) so I wouldn't hear him snore. He doesn't typically take night duty because I'll wake up anyway. I swear I have sonic hearing when it comes to The Bun's crying. I think moms are programmed that way. I have to put the monitor at the lowest volume but still wake up really easily. He has to put it at its loudest or else he won't hear her. When we are both in the same room, I end up waking up first. But since he was sleeping in the spare, he could do this without waking me. Win win!!!! Well, for me.
He had to wake up 3x but only had to feed her once. We found out from daycare that she takes formula pretty easily but she's still 95% breast milk. Since formula is super easy to prepare, he went ahead and used it. And let me tell you, say what you will about formula but dammit it's freed this mama!!! Because thawing and warming up b-milk is a pain, it's the primary reason I always took the night shift. Prepping b-milk is no fun and since mine are on tap, it's just so much easier for me to feed her during the night. But now we know we BOTH can feed her easily. [insert happy dance] Hallelujah!
I know, I'm babbling. And I also remember what I was going to blog about. The Man's doc visit! But that will be the next entry.
Serious.
I kept thinking, got to make time to write an entry. I don't want to forget [such and such]. But I don't remember the such and such!
It's been a rough few days in The household. The Man has been sick. The Man got The Bun sick. The Man and I got into a spat. We got over it but I felt like I couldn't ask The Man to help with The Bun because he was sick. It got so bad that I slept with The Bun (haven't done that since she was a newborn) but it didn't help, poor thing.
There has been challenges at work but, in the end, I am very happy to be employed and don't want to screw that up.
I was having awful sleep not just because The Bun was waking up but because, due to his sickness, The Man was snoring the loudest he has ever snored. EVER. No, not exaggerating. It is so loud that it would wake me up like an alarm clock. Between the two of them, I was getting very little sleep. Maybe 1/2 hour at a time.
I was drinking three cups of coffee a day. Finally, I asked The Man if he could take night time duty last night because I was afraid I was going to crash my car during the day. Yesterday I was Super Mama. I had taken The Bun to her doctor's appointment. Later, I took The Man to HIS doctor's appointment (at his request.) Although he was still coughing, I had gone with him to his doctor's appointment and found out he sounded worse than he was. Well, SHOOT. Hellz yah I was going to ask him to man up (hehe, man up) and let me sleep. To be fair to him, I hadn't asked until this moment. I knew he was sick yet working so I figured I should take one for the team. His cough sounded awful. It still does. But the doc assured us that it wasn't pneumonia or anything serious. It was a cold but really bad allergies too. Sweet.
Upon hearing the doc's diagnosis, I asked him to sleep in the spare room (which is what I did the night before) so I wouldn't hear him snore. He doesn't typically take night duty because I'll wake up anyway. I swear I have sonic hearing when it comes to The Bun's crying. I think moms are programmed that way. I have to put the monitor at the lowest volume but still wake up really easily. He has to put it at its loudest or else he won't hear her. When we are both in the same room, I end up waking up first. But since he was sleeping in the spare, he could do this without waking me. Win win!!!! Well, for me.
He had to wake up 3x but only had to feed her once. We found out from daycare that she takes formula pretty easily but she's still 95% breast milk. Since formula is super easy to prepare, he went ahead and used it. And let me tell you, say what you will about formula but dammit it's freed this mama!!! Because thawing and warming up b-milk is a pain, it's the primary reason I always took the night shift. Prepping b-milk is no fun and since mine are on tap, it's just so much easier for me to feed her during the night. But now we know we BOTH can feed her easily. [insert happy dance] Hallelujah!
I know, I'm babbling. And I also remember what I was going to blog about. The Man's doc visit! But that will be the next entry.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Mad, mad, mad
A blog is no place to write about frustrations one has, personally or professionally unless one doesn't care about the repercussions.
I do.
But man I wish I could go OFF sometimes.
I do.
But man I wish I could go OFF sometimes.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I have been hit with the suburban wife stick
My husband gave me this for our two year anniversary:
I was really pleasantly surprised! I had been wanting one since our last one died. But it was a want not a need so it wasn't on our priority list.
So far we've only cooked the dogs' dinner with it and made one meal. Which was disappointing. But I know it's got such potential so I'm still looking forward to putting it to good use!
And look what I stumbled across: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/ (found it while tooling around Facebook. Oh how I love FB, you little sinful thing, you.) **CORRECTION: MY BUD, A LITTLE HAWAII IN INDIA SENT THIS TO ME BUT I PLUM FORGOT! THANKS FOR SENDING THIS TO ME, JEN!**
Have mercy upon this workin' mama and send me your yummy slow cooker recipes!
I was really pleasantly surprised! I had been wanting one since our last one died. But it was a want not a need so it wasn't on our priority list.
So far we've only cooked the dogs' dinner with it and made one meal. Which was disappointing. But I know it's got such potential so I'm still looking forward to putting it to good use!
And look what I stumbled across: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/ (found it while tooling around Facebook. Oh how I love FB, you little sinful thing, you.) **CORRECTION: MY BUD, A LITTLE HAWAII IN INDIA SENT THIS TO ME BUT I PLUM FORGOT! THANKS FOR SENDING THIS TO ME, JEN!**
Have mercy upon this workin' mama and send me your yummy slow cooker recipes!
Monday, April 26, 2010
All that's missing are the pups ...
When the daily grind gets on my nerves, I try my hardest to remember what really matters and how truly blessed I really am.
When people say or write, "I love my life" I tend to think they are cocky. So what I will say/write is that I feel very fortunate and these two people (and pups) fill my heart.
Oh, don't you worry. I'm still sarcastic and have plenty to gripe about it ;) But, in my 30s, I'm so glad that something kicked me in the rear and gave me some real perspective. My household, family and friends are so dear to me. Love, love, love them. I meant it 100% when I wrote in my little FB profile, "I surround myself with wonderful, amazing, intelligent, giving and loving people. I believe I am the company I keep and they make me strive to be a better person. I think my family and friends are exceptional."
Friday, April 23, 2010
In cyber-mourning
As I was visiting the links I put on the side of my blog way back when, I realized that there are a lot of dead blogs out there. I'm related to a few of them.
I miss you guys. And I'm thankful for the less-than-handful left that I have to read. Sure, I read some written by strangers. But I used to have just as many written by people I know. Some were friends that moved away. I even had a few that I had grown closer to because I got to know them better through their blogs.
But just like all other sources of social networking and media, it appears to be evolving and changing faster than I can keep up.
We are a dying breed, my friends. I say, bring the blog fad back!
Happy Friday, love bugs.
I miss you guys. And I'm thankful for the less-than-handful left that I have to read. Sure, I read some written by strangers. But I used to have just as many written by people I know. Some were friends that moved away. I even had a few that I had grown closer to because I got to know them better through their blogs.
But just like all other sources of social networking and media, it appears to be evolving and changing faster than I can keep up.
We are a dying breed, my friends. I say, bring the blog fad back!
Happy Friday, love bugs.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sometimes I hate being a new parent ...
... because I get so paranoid about change. And if there's anything a baby does is CHANGE.
Since our little one was four weeks old, she's been sleeping in a Snuggle Nest.
This is how it works:
The Bun slept in this when she was in our room. I think it helped make her transition to a crib and her own room as easy as it was.
But things are a-changin'.
She slept horribly last night because she has rolling over down to an art. In fact, she threw half her body over the side of the Snuggle Nest one of those times. Of course, this made sleeping uncomfortable and she cried.
Tonight we say goodbye to the Snuggle Nest. My baby is now freely rolling all over the crib. I'm sure it sounds like there's nothing to worry about it. It's a crib, for crying out loud. It's MADE for babies. But I am thinking of all sorts of crazy predicaments The Bun can get into not having her baby bed. Her training bed! You don't know what kind of trouble my Little Houdini can get into. Only this mama knows which is why I'm paranoid.
And here is yet another great example why I hate being a new parent. "Get it together, woman!"
Since our little one was four weeks old, she's been sleeping in a Snuggle Nest.
This is how it works:
The Bun slept in this when she was in our room. I think it helped make her transition to a crib and her own room as easy as it was.
But things are a-changin'.
She slept horribly last night because she has rolling over down to an art. In fact, she threw half her body over the side of the Snuggle Nest one of those times. Of course, this made sleeping uncomfortable and she cried.
Tonight we say goodbye to the Snuggle Nest. My baby is now freely rolling all over the crib. I'm sure it sounds like there's nothing to worry about it. It's a crib, for crying out loud. It's MADE for babies. But I am thinking of all sorts of crazy predicaments The Bun can get into not having her baby bed. Her training bed! You don't know what kind of trouble my Little Houdini can get into. Only this mama knows which is why I'm paranoid.
And here is yet another great example why I hate being a new parent. "Get it together, woman!"
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Most fun. To Date.
OK, I think this is it. I think six months is my favorite age. So far :)
I have a pretty fantastic baby. Yah, yah, all moms say that, right?
Well I'm a pretty honest person. I'm nice, too, so I don't share my thoughts if I think they're too mean or inappropriate. But I'm pretty honest.
Some parts of these past six months have been really hard. And some not so fun. (Like the sleep deprivation.) But I know I've blessed with an easy going baby. I have to say, though, that right now is probably when I'm having the most fun with her.
She gives big smiles. Well, she has for a while but it also goes along with her being more active. Her hand-eye coordination is so much fun to watch now. For instance, she's had these toys dangling on the handle of her carseat (which doubles as her stroller) forever. Well, just about her entire life, shy of two weeks. She's FINALLY batting at them. I told The Man, I bet she thought, "Finally! These GD things have been teasing me this entire time. Now I can finally show them who's boss!"
Oh yes, side note. To amuse ourselves, both The Man and I give her voices and obviously, thoughts. If what we say she's thinking is true, she is one of the most sarcastic babies in the world. We've both said that if she is anything like us, she is going to be one smart ass child. Hopefully, it's possible to be both a smart ass and respectful :)
The Bun moves around a lot. She figured out how to flip on to her stomach. Freaks out The Man because it's practically beat into your head that babies should be put on their backs to sleep. I'm not so freaked out because I'm a tummy sleeper and have been since birth. Anyway, when we stopped swaddling her, she figured out how to flip from her back to her tummy (she's known how to flip from her tummy to her back for a while - have I bored you yet?) Now that she's figured this out, she sleeps for longer periods of time. In other words, she sleeps really well. Like 10 hours well.
It's hard to give examples of why she's so cool to watch now. But she is. I've loved her ever since I knew she existed. But it's exciting to see her grow and become more aware and engaged. And it's even more fun getting to see her personality evolve.
Yup, this is my favorite time. And I hope it just gets better.
I have a pretty fantastic baby. Yah, yah, all moms say that, right?
Well I'm a pretty honest person. I'm nice, too, so I don't share my thoughts if I think they're too mean or inappropriate. But I'm pretty honest.
Some parts of these past six months have been really hard. And some not so fun. (Like the sleep deprivation.) But I know I've blessed with an easy going baby. I have to say, though, that right now is probably when I'm having the most fun with her.
She gives big smiles. Well, she has for a while but it also goes along with her being more active. Her hand-eye coordination is so much fun to watch now. For instance, she's had these toys dangling on the handle of her carseat (which doubles as her stroller) forever. Well, just about her entire life, shy of two weeks. She's FINALLY batting at them. I told The Man, I bet she thought, "Finally! These GD things have been teasing me this entire time. Now I can finally show them who's boss!"
Oh yes, side note. To amuse ourselves, both The Man and I give her voices and obviously, thoughts. If what we say she's thinking is true, she is one of the most sarcastic babies in the world. We've both said that if she is anything like us, she is going to be one smart ass child. Hopefully, it's possible to be both a smart ass and respectful :)
The Bun moves around a lot. She figured out how to flip on to her stomach. Freaks out The Man because it's practically beat into your head that babies should be put on their backs to sleep. I'm not so freaked out because I'm a tummy sleeper and have been since birth. Anyway, when we stopped swaddling her, she figured out how to flip from her back to her tummy (she's known how to flip from her tummy to her back for a while - have I bored you yet?) Now that she's figured this out, she sleeps for longer periods of time. In other words, she sleeps really well. Like 10 hours well.
It's hard to give examples of why she's so cool to watch now. But she is. I've loved her ever since I knew she existed. But it's exciting to see her grow and become more aware and engaged. And it's even more fun getting to see her personality evolve.
Yup, this is my favorite time. And I hope it just gets better.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It's been nearly 15 years ...
since I saw some of my aunts, uncles and cousins. Well, they're more family friends but basically people I grew up with but haven't seen since I graduated from high school. The only reason I remember that is because most of them were at my graduation party.
Why does it take a death in the family (or close knit group of friends) to bring people together?
An uncle passed away this week. He and my aunt have been family friends since I can remember. Probably way before I was born.
My sister had this really cool idea at her wedding reception. Instead of subjecting the single women to catching the bouquet (I've always hated that), she asked all the couples to get on the dance floor. Every couple of minutes, the DJ would say something like, "If you've been married one year or less, please leave the dance floor" "If you've been married five years or less, please leave the dance floor" until he was up to fifty plus years. This particular uncle and aunt, at my sister's wedding, had been married the longest and his wife got my sister's bouquet.
That was almost 11 years ago.
From what I understand, his health had been failing him for quite some time now. While I've always liked him, we've never been super close. But I'm sad that he's gone. He and his wife had a long and lasting marriage that we young bucks can only hope and dream of. And I also think about how my parents and how they're getting along in age. It makes me sad. I try ignore the fact my dad walks slower and my mom's becoming more and more physically challenged.
And now with The Bun here, I see how precious time is and how much I want her to know her Nana & Papa and to love them with all her heart.
Why does it take a death in the family (or close knit group of friends) to bring people together?
An uncle passed away this week. He and my aunt have been family friends since I can remember. Probably way before I was born.
My sister had this really cool idea at her wedding reception. Instead of subjecting the single women to catching the bouquet (I've always hated that), she asked all the couples to get on the dance floor. Every couple of minutes, the DJ would say something like, "If you've been married one year or less, please leave the dance floor" "If you've been married five years or less, please leave the dance floor" until he was up to fifty plus years. This particular uncle and aunt, at my sister's wedding, had been married the longest and his wife got my sister's bouquet.
That was almost 11 years ago.
From what I understand, his health had been failing him for quite some time now. While I've always liked him, we've never been super close. But I'm sad that he's gone. He and his wife had a long and lasting marriage that we young bucks can only hope and dream of. And I also think about how my parents and how they're getting along in age. It makes me sad. I try ignore the fact my dad walks slower and my mom's becoming more and more physically challenged.
And now with The Bun here, I see how precious time is and how much I want her to know her Nana & Papa and to love them with all her heart.
Is blogging the new VHS tape?
Oh Facebook, what have you done?!
I know I've written about this before. Apologizing to all 1 1/2 people that read my blog for not writing nearly as much as before. I used to write so much! And then ...
Facebook.
Well, I'm sure having a baby, a full-time job, two puppies and, oh that's right, a husband!, have something to do with it.
I miss writing. I like reflecting and seeing what I cared about or deemed interesting a few years ago. And this here blog has been with me through three jobs! Luckily, only one man who's still around ;) (Shout out to The Man who knows I write about him here and on FB. Of course, it helps that I write exceedingly flattering things about him.) But the small group that once served as an reciprocal audience has gotten A LOT smaller. Should it matter? I mean, I'm supposed to be writing for myself! But it is fun to get feedback and some sort of reaction.
*sigh* Well, I'm going to stick it out. Maybe Facebook, like computers, will be passing fad.
I know I've written about this before. Apologizing to all 1 1/2 people that read my blog for not writing nearly as much as before. I used to write so much! And then ...
Facebook.
Well, I'm sure having a baby, a full-time job, two puppies and, oh that's right, a husband!, have something to do with it.
I miss writing. I like reflecting and seeing what I cared about or deemed interesting a few years ago. And this here blog has been with me through three jobs! Luckily, only one man who's still around ;) (Shout out to The Man who knows I write about him here and on FB. Of course, it helps that I write exceedingly flattering things about him.) But the small group that once served as an reciprocal audience has gotten A LOT smaller. Should it matter? I mean, I'm supposed to be writing for myself! But it is fun to get feedback and some sort of reaction.
*sigh* Well, I'm going to stick it out. Maybe Facebook, like computers, will be passing fad.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Furlough FUN week!
I'm not doing anything spectacular. Just hanging out with the babe and in-laws who are in town. Today I went to boot camp. I absolutely dread going and sometimes talk myself into not going. But once I'm there ... well, I'm still kind of hating life. But AFTER I'm done and I've left, I feel really good. Like a bad ass, actually ;) So if I can just win the good fight with myself (and not talk myself out of going) I plan on going at least one more time this week. Hopefully TWO.
I'm really excited to see that a yoga studio is opening up super close to my house. Within 5 minutes driving. YES. Now the only thing is working out the baby sitting situation. I'm hoping that it can be worked out. See, I can't expect The Man to watch her when he gets home. It's just not fair. Sure, once in a while for special occasions but we both readily admit that it's hard when once of us isn't home in the evening. It's when she is most fussy and we also have the pups! They need to get fed, the grown ups need to be fed and the Bun needs food, changing, and TLC. So going at night is not an option. *sigh* Hopefully something will come about. I even suggested having classes where moms can workout with their babies. The studio said they are trying to work that out. Now THAT would be nice. Until then, I sneek into boot camp here and there and go on walks with a stroller and two dogs.
I'm really excited to see that a yoga studio is opening up super close to my house. Within 5 minutes driving. YES. Now the only thing is working out the baby sitting situation. I'm hoping that it can be worked out. See, I can't expect The Man to watch her when he gets home. It's just not fair. Sure, once in a while for special occasions but we both readily admit that it's hard when once of us isn't home in the evening. It's when she is most fussy and we also have the pups! They need to get fed, the grown ups need to be fed and the Bun needs food, changing, and TLC. So going at night is not an option. *sigh* Hopefully something will come about. I even suggested having classes where moms can workout with their babies. The studio said they are trying to work that out. Now THAT would be nice. Until then, I sneek into boot camp here and there and go on walks with a stroller and two dogs.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Blessing in disguise
I have a furlough week at the end of the month. Because I maxed out my PTO, this is going to be an unpaid week off (we have the option to use our PTO so it becomes sort of a mandatory vacation.) Although I could really use the money, I'm looking forward to a glimpse of what my life was like when I was on maternity leave. I'd like to say that I'm going to plan really cool outings with The Bun but I would rather relax, hang around the house and maybe plan one or two things for the week.
But Bun seems to be happiest at the beginning of the day so I'm really looking forward to our chill-out mornings. Here's to a Mommy Spring Break - no girls going wild here!
But Bun seems to be happiest at the beginning of the day so I'm really looking forward to our chill-out mornings. Here's to a Mommy Spring Break - no girls going wild here!
Monday, March 08, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Where does the time go?
I remember when I wrote a lot more. But I think that's happened to everyone that I read, as well. I also blame Facebook - damn the instant gratification!
Back to work. It's so busy. I will be celebrating my three year anniversary in a month. I was in school forever (w/ a ton of internships under my belt) so I know that's a solid excuse but I can't believe that three years is the longest I've been at a company!
Times are tough everywhere so of course the non profit sector has taken a hit. But I don't plan on going anywhere. I'm so thankful that I've learned that I really enjoy mission-driven work (not to be confused for a missionary worker. I'm just saying.) So I'm weathering the storm with the hope that things will look up for our economy. Unfortunately, all the cuts to public education directly affects my job so I am both sympathetic and a little depressed. I work with amazing volunteers who's jobs seem to be more and more in danger. Then I think about how Bun will be going to school in a few years ... and I can't help but be worried.
Anyway, I'm busy catching up on four and a half months of work. And I mean BUSY.
Bun has been going to my parents house and, every so often, her daycare. I love, love, love my parents and am so grateful to them. So is my pocketbook. Speaking of which, it STUNK not getting paid my last month. I made the decision, I don't regret it, but it stunk nevertheless! So I'm so grateful to my parents because not only are they giving Bun so much love and attention but they are helping me save money. Our daycare is actually very inexpensive but any amount hurts the wallet.
OK, got to wake up the baby, feed, change and get us out the door ASAP!
Back to work. It's so busy. I will be celebrating my three year anniversary in a month. I was in school forever (w/ a ton of internships under my belt) so I know that's a solid excuse but I can't believe that three years is the longest I've been at a company!
Times are tough everywhere so of course the non profit sector has taken a hit. But I don't plan on going anywhere. I'm so thankful that I've learned that I really enjoy mission-driven work (not to be confused for a missionary worker. I'm just saying.) So I'm weathering the storm with the hope that things will look up for our economy. Unfortunately, all the cuts to public education directly affects my job so I am both sympathetic and a little depressed. I work with amazing volunteers who's jobs seem to be more and more in danger. Then I think about how Bun will be going to school in a few years ... and I can't help but be worried.
Anyway, I'm busy catching up on four and a half months of work. And I mean BUSY.
Bun has been going to my parents house and, every so often, her daycare. I love, love, love my parents and am so grateful to them. So is my pocketbook. Speaking of which, it STUNK not getting paid my last month. I made the decision, I don't regret it, but it stunk nevertheless! So I'm so grateful to my parents because not only are they giving Bun so much love and attention but they are helping me save money. Our daycare is actually very inexpensive but any amount hurts the wallet.
OK, got to wake up the baby, feed, change and get us out the door ASAP!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I don't think this makes me a bad mama but ...
... I looooooove this pout! Love, love, love it. It makes me say, "Awwww honey!" and shower her with kisses. Then her pout is gone! It usually appears and goes away so quickly that I thought I would never be able to capture it in a photo. And sure, rather than comforting her right away this one time, I picked up a camera. But now I have this expression captured forever :)
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Updates and such
The Bun turned 4 months old this week. Wow. While she is still so little, it feels like she's been around for much longer because I can't really remember how every day life was like without her.
She still favors her right hand (she thinks it's really cool every time she sees it) but she knows she also had a left one now. And The Bun has this habit of rubbing them together like she's devising this evil plan to take over the world.
Really.
The Bun also has quite the kung fu baby grip. It hurts terribly when she feels like grabbing skin or hair. Other than that, she just likes to feel things and that isn't so bad.
In one week and a day, I go back to work. We all know the many feelings I have about that.
The Man and I are doing well. But he's been having to deal with property drama (with a home he bought prior to our marriage) and it has been extremely stressful. I feel so bad for him and it affects the quality time he has w/ The Bun. Instead of being able to spend time with his daughter, he has to call or email many folks and it eats up much of the evenings. Plus it puts him in a bad mood which I don't blame him because it really is stressful. He by no means takes it out on me or the baby but who wouldn't want to see the person she loves in a GOOD mood? Plus that leaves me alone to take care of the baby. But other than that, we are doing well and I'm thankful.
The pups have been baaaaaad lately. I think it's just one but unless you catch her in the act, we have to assume it's both. Two weeks ago, one of the peed upstairs on the carpet. Last week, someone pooped downstairs on the carpet. Yesterday, I found pee in the middle of the hallway. Also on the carpet. I have been absolutely furious because it's ME who discovered these crimes so it's ME who has to clean them. Mad, mad, mad. I haven't gotten physical (one, because unless the pup is caught in the act, she won't have any idea why I'm punishing her and two, I don't know which one did it!) but there has been a whole lot of yelling. LOTS. Yes, they are my furry babies but dammit I hate cleaning up that kind of stuff, especially on carpet!
Anyway, got to get ready for my Mommy group before she wakes up. I want to enjoy every little moment we have of bonding before going back to the j-o-b.
She still favors her right hand (she thinks it's really cool every time she sees it) but she knows she also had a left one now. And The Bun has this habit of rubbing them together like she's devising this evil plan to take over the world.
Really.
The Bun also has quite the kung fu baby grip. It hurts terribly when she feels like grabbing skin or hair. Other than that, she just likes to feel things and that isn't so bad.
In one week and a day, I go back to work. We all know the many feelings I have about that.
The Man and I are doing well. But he's been having to deal with property drama (with a home he bought prior to our marriage) and it has been extremely stressful. I feel so bad for him and it affects the quality time he has w/ The Bun. Instead of being able to spend time with his daughter, he has to call or email many folks and it eats up much of the evenings. Plus it puts him in a bad mood which I don't blame him because it really is stressful. He by no means takes it out on me or the baby but who wouldn't want to see the person she loves in a GOOD mood? Plus that leaves me alone to take care of the baby. But other than that, we are doing well and I'm thankful.
The pups have been baaaaaad lately. I think it's just one but unless you catch her in the act, we have to assume it's both. Two weeks ago, one of the peed upstairs on the carpet. Last week, someone pooped downstairs on the carpet. Yesterday, I found pee in the middle of the hallway. Also on the carpet. I have been absolutely furious because it's ME who discovered these crimes so it's ME who has to clean them. Mad, mad, mad. I haven't gotten physical (one, because unless the pup is caught in the act, she won't have any idea why I'm punishing her and two, I don't know which one did it!) but there has been a whole lot of yelling. LOTS. Yes, they are my furry babies but dammit I hate cleaning up that kind of stuff, especially on carpet!
Anyway, got to get ready for my Mommy group before she wakes up. I want to enjoy every little moment we have of bonding before going back to the j-o-b.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Roughly two weeks left ...
and then mama's back to the j-o-b. Although it feels like time has just flown by, crazily enough, I also can hardly remember my routine without The Bun. So going back to work seems so foreign to me right now.
I know most mommies go through this. But it truly feels like I'm entering a whole new chapter in my life. I'm not necessarily sad, I think it's more bittersweet. I know that I need to earn my keep ;) But I feel like Bun and I just figured things out and now it's going to be changed up again. I didn't realize how much I actually enjoy predictability until I had a baby.
She is teaching me so much. Patience, selflessness, love - even at 3 in the morning.
She's even taught me to not be so anxious ... who would have thought? But a person can only listen to her baby monitor at full volume for so long. It also helps that Bun is a snorter so I am oddly comforted by her snoring in the wee hours of the morning :)
OK, I lied. Well, unintentionally. As I'm writing this, I am getting sad. Part of me wants to go back to work and have that part of me that existed before I was a mommy. The part that helped define me - a working woman contributing to society. But I also want to be the person who sees The Bun's firsts FIRST. I want to be the person who plays with her in the morning and helps intoduce the new day to her. The person who showers The Bun with kisses after each diaper change.
But it will be OK. We will have new adventures. New routines. New milestones. And boy oh boy, I loooooooove my mom and am so grateful to her and her willingness to do pro-bono daycare:) She is awesome.
I know most mommies go through this. But it truly feels like I'm entering a whole new chapter in my life. I'm not necessarily sad, I think it's more bittersweet. I know that I need to earn my keep ;) But I feel like Bun and I just figured things out and now it's going to be changed up again. I didn't realize how much I actually enjoy predictability until I had a baby.
She is teaching me so much. Patience, selflessness, love - even at 3 in the morning.
She's even taught me to not be so anxious ... who would have thought? But a person can only listen to her baby monitor at full volume for so long. It also helps that Bun is a snorter so I am oddly comforted by her snoring in the wee hours of the morning :)
OK, I lied. Well, unintentionally. As I'm writing this, I am getting sad. Part of me wants to go back to work and have that part of me that existed before I was a mommy. The part that helped define me - a working woman contributing to society. But I also want to be the person who sees The Bun's firsts FIRST. I want to be the person who plays with her in the morning and helps intoduce the new day to her. The person who showers The Bun with kisses after each diaper change.
But it will be OK. We will have new adventures. New routines. New milestones. And boy oh boy, I loooooooove my mom and am so grateful to her and her willingness to do pro-bono daycare:) She is awesome.
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