So, the J.O.B. is sending me to Las Vegas for a conference next month. My colleagues are soooo excited and really looking forward to it. Me, not so much.
My first experience was with an ex's family and we mainly babysat his cousins. The second time was after graduation with a bunch of 20-somethings. That was more fun but I was out of my league. Those kids could PARTY. Now, I can party too (I know, y'all have stories) but not for four days in a row. Plus, we got conned. I don't remember the name of the one club we patroned. What I do remember is this: these really pretty girls were passing out free passes to this club. All the guys in my group flocked around these two girls and flirted a bit. Wink, wink, flirt, flirt, and a hint of boob. The guys ate it up and took the free passes from the girls. The nine or ten of us waited in line for nearly an hour to get into the club. When we got to the front, the bouncer said that these passes were for Wednesdays only (it was Saturday.) We were embarassed and tired of waiting in line. After a short discussion, we each paid the $25 cover. I'm still a bit ticked off.
I've been to Las Vegas twice and have yet to be impressed. My friend, Casey, argues that I just haven't been with the right people or at the right places. So let's have it folks. Where does a gal go to have fun and drink pretty yet strong cocktails? Let me be clear, I'd rather not go to strip clubs or any other skanky places- I'm in a relationship but, more importantly, I have to hang with my bosses and I'd like to avoid any postpartying awkward moments with them.
Tell me, what's so great about Las Vegas? (and if possible, give directions. I'm staying at the Luxor;)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Sometimes I follow the herd. Mooooo.
10 years ago:
My senior year in HS. I was 16 years old and utterly heartbroken that I hadn't been accepted into UCLA. I had my first real high school boyfriend (the relationship lasted three weeks.) It was the first year in high school that I felt like I belonged. I stopped caring what the kids in school thought of me.
5 years ago:
My last semester in college. I lived on Treasure Island and was "dating" for the very first time! MsLips was my roommate and she can attest to the many, too many, Mr. Wrongs that were coming in and out of our door. This also included The Top Mr. Wrong, my ex-boyfriend. (Can anyone beat my 10 month long break up??? I didn't say I was the brightest bulb at this point in my life.)
1 year ago:
How sad is it that I had to refer to my MS Outlook? I was working. Nothing eventful or memorable, which can be a good thing. Oh, and I was definitely a smarter gal. I had been with The Man for 2 1/2 years by this point.
Yesterday:
I had an awesome day! I got a massage, a MAC makeover (which I washed off b/c I looked like a DRAG QUEEN,) went to a luau and saw a gorgeous hula show!
5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Sees chocolate truffles
2. Cookies n cream icecream
3. Original Baked Lays
4. Nonfat plain yogurt with mandarin oranges & raspberries
5. Cheese
5 songs I know the words to:
1. Jamming - Bob Marley
2. Don't know Why - Norah Jones
3. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/ What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
4. Change the World - Eric Clapton
5. Unforgettable - Natalie Cole
5 things I'd do with $100 million:
1. Give my folks $20 million
2. Give my sister and her family $10 million
3. Give my parents $1 million to distribute among family in the Philippines
4. Buy homes in SF, Santa Cruz, Hawaii, PI & San Mateo
5. Start a family foundation so I can give to charities
5 places I'd run away to ... (more like vacation destinations):
1. Hawaii
2. Australia
3. Bahamas
4. Alaska
5. Thailand
5 things I'd never wear (again, in some cases):
1. Permed hair
2. Leggings with stirrups
3. Revlon blackberry lipstick
4. pleated pants
5. anything beadazzled (sequins & glitter are completely different!)
5 biggest joys:
1. My very supportive and loving family
2. Hanging out with my "Hella Cool" friends
3. Going about town with the Man
4. Laughing
5. My faith pulling me through tough spots and helping me appreciate the good stuff in life
5 favorite toys:
1. My car (I argue that it's a "necessity" but I'll call it a toy)
2. Laptop
3. DVD player
4. TV
5. iPod & iPod speakers
What's cool at my place:
My marble and oak foldout bar
My senior year in HS. I was 16 years old and utterly heartbroken that I hadn't been accepted into UCLA. I had my first real high school boyfriend (the relationship lasted three weeks.) It was the first year in high school that I felt like I belonged. I stopped caring what the kids in school thought of me.
5 years ago:
My last semester in college. I lived on Treasure Island and was "dating" for the very first time! MsLips was my roommate and she can attest to the many, too many, Mr. Wrongs that were coming in and out of our door. This also included The Top Mr. Wrong, my ex-boyfriend. (Can anyone beat my 10 month long break up??? I didn't say I was the brightest bulb at this point in my life.)
1 year ago:
How sad is it that I had to refer to my MS Outlook? I was working. Nothing eventful or memorable, which can be a good thing. Oh, and I was definitely a smarter gal. I had been with The Man for 2 1/2 years by this point.
Yesterday:
I had an awesome day! I got a massage, a MAC makeover (which I washed off b/c I looked like a DRAG QUEEN,) went to a luau and saw a gorgeous hula show!
5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Sees chocolate truffles
2. Cookies n cream icecream
3. Original Baked Lays
4. Nonfat plain yogurt with mandarin oranges & raspberries
5. Cheese
5 songs I know the words to:
1. Jamming - Bob Marley
2. Don't know Why - Norah Jones
3. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/ What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
4. Change the World - Eric Clapton
5. Unforgettable - Natalie Cole
5 things I'd do with $100 million:
1. Give my folks $20 million
2. Give my sister and her family $10 million
3. Give my parents $1 million to distribute among family in the Philippines
4. Buy homes in SF, Santa Cruz, Hawaii, PI & San Mateo
5. Start a family foundation so I can give to charities
5 places I'd run away to ... (more like vacation destinations):
1. Hawaii
2. Australia
3. Bahamas
4. Alaska
5. Thailand
5 things I'd never wear (again, in some cases):
1. Permed hair
2. Leggings with stirrups
3. Revlon blackberry lipstick
4. pleated pants
5. anything beadazzled (sequins & glitter are completely different!)
5 biggest joys:
1. My very supportive and loving family
2. Hanging out with my "Hella Cool" friends
3. Going about town with the Man
4. Laughing
5. My faith pulling me through tough spots and helping me appreciate the good stuff in life
5 favorite toys:
1. My car (I argue that it's a "necessity" but I'll call it a toy)
2. Laptop
3. DVD player
4. TV
5. iPod & iPod speakers
What's cool at my place:
My marble and oak foldout bar
Friday, October 21, 2005
I confess, I miss the other men in my life
In my early 20s, I had many gay men in my life. Of course, I went to school and worked in San Francisco so it's not like I had to search for them. I practically tripped over them.
It's been a while since I've had a gay male friend. And I MISS having one. A good gay man is hard to find. And one can't stereotype, they certainly aren't all the same. I tended to attract and be attracted to the delicate Asian ones. You know, barely over five feet tall, slender, and often times, prettier than me :) They weren't queens or bitches but they knew how to be marvelous all day, all the time. These friends of mine were witty, smart, and spunky with a touch of bitch. I often reminisce about my times with these great men. I will share with you my most favorite memory as a tribute to the glorious and wonderful gay men that have touched my life:
My senior year, I had a interview methods class and I always sat with my two favorite gay boys, Brian & Reggie. I was a newly single woman and there were a few single straight guys, some even cute, but I didn't care. I made sure that I sat BETWEEN Brian & Reggie in the back of the class so I would hear all the action. These fellas made me forget my troubles and just brightened my day. I loved this class mainly because of them. They were friends so they tended to be downright BITCHY to each other for no reason. Needless to say, I looked forward to their colorful exchanges.
One day, something got them all riled up (I forget the topic) and Brian leaned across me and hissed to Reggie, "You shut the fuck up!" Of course, Reggie shot back, "You shut the fuck up, Bitch." *I knew better than to say anything and bring attention to myself. I gleefully listened and waited for more.* Brian then said, "No, you shut the fuck up, you fucking whore." So Reggie then replied, "You shut the fuck up, you ugly ass bitch." To which Brian then said with his bitchiest voice, "That's not what your dad said when I SAT ON HIS FACE."
I about lost myself when he said this. I laughed, maybe howled out loud and then remembered myself. I was in a lecture class and the professor was, indeed, lecturing. So I stopped as quickly as I started but it was too late. "Lulu, would you care to stop talking and join the class discussion?" DAMmit. He hadn't heard the slander or cursing but I get busted for giggling. Of course. (This wasn't the first or last time something like this happened.) But it was worth it. Sooooooo worth it.
I lost touch with these fabulous boys but this memory is as vivid as it was five years ago. Bless their little hearts, I miss them.
It's been a while since I've had a gay male friend. And I MISS having one. A good gay man is hard to find. And one can't stereotype, they certainly aren't all the same. I tended to attract and be attracted to the delicate Asian ones. You know, barely over five feet tall, slender, and often times, prettier than me :) They weren't queens or bitches but they knew how to be marvelous all day, all the time. These friends of mine were witty, smart, and spunky with a touch of bitch. I often reminisce about my times with these great men. I will share with you my most favorite memory as a tribute to the glorious and wonderful gay men that have touched my life:
My senior year, I had a interview methods class and I always sat with my two favorite gay boys, Brian & Reggie. I was a newly single woman and there were a few single straight guys, some even cute, but I didn't care. I made sure that I sat BETWEEN Brian & Reggie in the back of the class so I would hear all the action. These fellas made me forget my troubles and just brightened my day. I loved this class mainly because of them. They were friends so they tended to be downright BITCHY to each other for no reason. Needless to say, I looked forward to their colorful exchanges.
One day, something got them all riled up (I forget the topic) and Brian leaned across me and hissed to Reggie, "You shut the fuck up!" Of course, Reggie shot back, "You shut the fuck up, Bitch." *I knew better than to say anything and bring attention to myself. I gleefully listened and waited for more.* Brian then said, "No, you shut the fuck up, you fucking whore." So Reggie then replied, "You shut the fuck up, you ugly ass bitch." To which Brian then said with his bitchiest voice, "That's not what your dad said when I SAT ON HIS FACE."
I about lost myself when he said this. I laughed, maybe howled out loud and then remembered myself. I was in a lecture class and the professor was, indeed, lecturing. So I stopped as quickly as I started but it was too late. "Lulu, would you care to stop talking and join the class discussion?" DAMmit. He hadn't heard the slander or cursing but I get busted for giggling. Of course. (This wasn't the first or last time something like this happened.) But it was worth it. Sooooooo worth it.
I lost touch with these fabulous boys but this memory is as vivid as it was five years ago. Bless their little hearts, I miss them.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Aww, thanks!
I struggled to get to my yoga class today. (When I write "struggle", I really mean it - for almost 20 minutes, I was convincing myself to get my bumm moving to make it to my 7:15am class. Yup, I gotta leave my home by 6:40am!!!) Anyhow, after class was finished, one of my classmates asked me if I was also a yoga instructor. Thinking she was being funny, I laughed and said no. But then she told me she was serious. She thought, because of my flexibility, I was an instructor. Hot damn! What a compliment. I mean, she's smoking crack because I can be stiff as a board. But still, it made my morning.
You probably figured it out by now. I'm easy. To flatter. You can tell me, "Hey, those are great shoelaces" or "You sure fold paper pretty." And as long as you're being sincere, I'll be flattered. Kinda sad but true!
You probably figured it out by now. I'm easy. To flatter. You can tell me, "Hey, those are great shoelaces" or "You sure fold paper pretty." And as long as you're being sincere, I'll be flattered. Kinda sad but true!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Let's play a game called
"HOW TACKY CAN YOU BE???"
*Names & relationships have been changed to protect the guilty. And me.*
I have a nice relationship with my old professor, Dr. Mahbad. I was her student a few years ago and have known her for almost three years now. While we aren't friends, I have the deepest respect for Dr. Mahbad. She's one of the youngest yet most influential professors at the university. She's witty, professional, intelligent and likeable. She would invite us grad students to her house at the end of each semester for dessert and drinks. I took four classes taught by her so I had been to her house several times. Even after graduating, she still invites us to dinner during the holidays. Dr. Mahbad and I meet for coffee often and she gives me advice and serves as somewhat of a mentor.
Last week, after a recent visit with Dr. Mahbad, I noticed that she seemed stressed out. Her recent promotion has added a lot more responsibility and I saw it was taking a toll on her. I decided to buy her a little present - a basket of Bath & Body Works products with a card saying that she's a wonderful professor and to hang in there. I took it to the university on Friday morning and left it with her secretary.
A couple of days passed and I didn't hear anything. Oh well, no one's perfect so I didn't think much of it. Today, I was in the city for a conference so I stopped by the university to see if Dr. Mahbad was in better spirits. Before going to her office, I had to pass the secretary's desk. Her secretary wasn't there but I noticed that the basket was still on her desk. Well that explained why I haven't received a thank you. She hasn't received my gift yet! But that's weird, how can you not notice it? I stepped closer and saw a card affixed to it, in Dr. Mahbad's handwriting, that read, "To: Dr. Fwuksi-Happy Belated Boss's Day!" There was also a sticky note to her secretary to drop the basket off at Dr. Fwuski's office today.
She regifted my gift.
I didn't know how to react. For some reason, I felt embarassed. For her, for me, for the entire situation. I gave that gift because I wanted to cheer her up and let her know that she was appreciated. She went and slapped a card on it and bam! It was now a gift from her to Dr. Fwuksi. The only way I can describe how I felt is like this - my intentions and well wishes were cheapened and stepped on. Don't get me wrong. I mean , c'mon, I've regifted, you've regifted, we've all regifted. But to SEE my gift regifted ... that's just, well, tacky.
I left the office without saying hello. I went home and saw that Dr. MahBad e-mailed me a thank you note. Well, at least she remembered to do that. Of course, I had to call one of my friends, Yahn, who's also a former student of Dr. Mahbad's. When I finished my story, Yahn said, "Are you fuckin' kidding me??" And then tried to comfort me. "Well, you can think of it like this: You gift was SO nice that she thought it was good enough for her boss." I probably muttered a cuss word in return. When Yahn figured out that I wasn't pissed or hurt, she said, "If I were you, I wouldn't buy her another GD thing again. She fuckin' sucks at gifts." (This is true. She's terrible at giving gifts, too.) So I won't. She'll get an e-mail greeting or maybe a card but never again a gift. We're not friends but I still respect her and I'll never know when I'm going to need a reference.
I don't believe that regifting is bad. But for crap's sake, don't regift in the same environment in which you receive. Not at work, in the same circle of friends or within a family. And more importantly, don't get caught. Like I said, I'm not mad, upset, or even hurt anymore (it passed pretty quickly.) But the whole thing is still pretty moded. And tacky.
*Names & relationships have been changed to protect the guilty. And me.*
I have a nice relationship with my old professor, Dr. Mahbad. I was her student a few years ago and have known her for almost three years now. While we aren't friends, I have the deepest respect for Dr. Mahbad. She's one of the youngest yet most influential professors at the university. She's witty, professional, intelligent and likeable. She would invite us grad students to her house at the end of each semester for dessert and drinks. I took four classes taught by her so I had been to her house several times. Even after graduating, she still invites us to dinner during the holidays. Dr. Mahbad and I meet for coffee often and she gives me advice and serves as somewhat of a mentor.
Last week, after a recent visit with Dr. Mahbad, I noticed that she seemed stressed out. Her recent promotion has added a lot more responsibility and I saw it was taking a toll on her. I decided to buy her a little present - a basket of Bath & Body Works products with a card saying that she's a wonderful professor and to hang in there. I took it to the university on Friday morning and left it with her secretary.
A couple of days passed and I didn't hear anything. Oh well, no one's perfect so I didn't think much of it. Today, I was in the city for a conference so I stopped by the university to see if Dr. Mahbad was in better spirits. Before going to her office, I had to pass the secretary's desk. Her secretary wasn't there but I noticed that the basket was still on her desk. Well that explained why I haven't received a thank you. She hasn't received my gift yet! But that's weird, how can you not notice it? I stepped closer and saw a card affixed to it, in Dr. Mahbad's handwriting, that read, "To: Dr. Fwuksi-Happy Belated Boss's Day!" There was also a sticky note to her secretary to drop the basket off at Dr. Fwuski's office today.
She regifted my gift.
I didn't know how to react. For some reason, I felt embarassed. For her, for me, for the entire situation. I gave that gift because I wanted to cheer her up and let her know that she was appreciated. She went and slapped a card on it and bam! It was now a gift from her to Dr. Fwuksi. The only way I can describe how I felt is like this - my intentions and well wishes were cheapened and stepped on. Don't get me wrong. I mean , c'mon, I've regifted, you've regifted, we've all regifted. But to SEE my gift regifted ... that's just, well, tacky.
I left the office without saying hello. I went home and saw that Dr. MahBad e-mailed me a thank you note. Well, at least she remembered to do that. Of course, I had to call one of my friends, Yahn, who's also a former student of Dr. Mahbad's. When I finished my story, Yahn said, "Are you fuckin' kidding me??" And then tried to comfort me. "Well, you can think of it like this: You gift was SO nice that she thought it was good enough for her boss." I probably muttered a cuss word in return. When Yahn figured out that I wasn't pissed or hurt, she said, "If I were you, I wouldn't buy her another GD thing again. She fuckin' sucks at gifts." (This is true. She's terrible at giving gifts, too.) So I won't. She'll get an e-mail greeting or maybe a card but never again a gift. We're not friends but I still respect her and I'll never know when I'm going to need a reference.
I don't believe that regifting is bad. But for crap's sake, don't regift in the same environment in which you receive. Not at work, in the same circle of friends or within a family. And more importantly, don't get caught. Like I said, I'm not mad, upset, or even hurt anymore (it passed pretty quickly.) But the whole thing is still pretty moded. And tacky.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Speaking of hula ...
It is one of my most FAVORITE things. I love hula. I think it's moving, graceful, romantic, and simply beautiful. So I am sooooo excited about this weekend!
This Saturday, I'm going to Na Lei Hulu's "The Hula Show." The reason why this halau is spectacular is because 1) they have extremely talented and gifted dancers and 2) their Kumu's creativity. They perform all facets of hula: kahiko (ancient), auana (modern) and then the company's trademark style, hula mua. They dance hula to contemporary music like their signature piece performed to Tony Bennett's "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." The Kumu also implements hip-hop, creating a hula to Eminem's music. And there's even a hula to Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors," which is a tribute to the Kumu's gay drag queen Uncle Emile. How can you not love that????
Saturday is going to be gorgeous. My day will start with a light and healthy lunch with Tel. Then we're having one hour massages (oh yes, this is a pampering day, my friends) then we get dolled up and attend the luau before the show (now you know why we had a light lunch.) We will then end the night enjoying a wonderful two hour performance at the Palace of Fine Arts. My ideal girls' night out.
I bought my ticket to this show over two months ago to raise my spirits. I've been a little bummed because this is the first year in four that I will not be going to Hawaii. I know it's nothing tragic but it has become a very nice tradition. Anyway, The Man and I agreed that we should save $ which means no expensive vacations. I don't know about you but my job causes me to need - like Whitney & Bobby need their fix - a required tropical vacation (mandated by my sanity) and this "no Hawaii" has been rough. I visited my friend in Colorado and had a fantastic time in Washington to see Sister but my WORK FUNK prevailed and I need more.
Two weeks ago, my friend Maria presented an idea. She planned on going to Hawaii with her boyfriend for a wedding. She asked me if I would go to keep her company while her bf played with his friends. I declined. Shoot, if The Man and I weren't going, why would I go for some stranger's wedding? But then she said that she would leave a few days earlier if I went. Dang. I really need to save money. But doesn't saving my sanity take precedence?? I told her I would consider it if we could find a great deal on a hotel and car rental.
(Oahu, 2004)
We did. My flight is booked and I will be going to the Aloha State in a month and a half. From now on, I will bring bag lunches to work and drastically cut back on my Starbucks. (On the bright side, this will help me lose the 10 lbs I've been trying to shake off.) I will NOT buy any new clothes, shoes or purses *oh lawdee* I will cook for The Man as an alternative to us eating out *son of a biscuit* This is all worth it to be able to go to Hawaii.
I'm going to Oahu on a shoestring budget. The hotel is crap and the car is crappier. But who cares?? I'm going to explore the island, sunbathe, and drink*. I am so excited! It's a lovely birthday gift to myself.
*If you want to be intoxicated but not consume a lot of empty calories, I recommend Rum & Diet Cherry Pepsi. The Cherry flavoring overpowers the rum and the calories are only from the alcohol (2 oz=130 calories.) Just call it "the SFHulaGirl" :) It's quite delicious and feels fantastic.
This Saturday, I'm going to Na Lei Hulu's "The Hula Show." The reason why this halau is spectacular is because 1) they have extremely talented and gifted dancers and 2) their Kumu's creativity. They perform all facets of hula: kahiko (ancient), auana (modern) and then the company's trademark style, hula mua. They dance hula to contemporary music like their signature piece performed to Tony Bennett's "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." The Kumu also implements hip-hop, creating a hula to Eminem's music. And there's even a hula to Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors," which is a tribute to the Kumu's gay drag queen Uncle Emile. How can you not love that????
Saturday is going to be gorgeous. My day will start with a light and healthy lunch with Tel. Then we're having one hour massages (oh yes, this is a pampering day, my friends) then we get dolled up and attend the luau before the show (now you know why we had a light lunch.) We will then end the night enjoying a wonderful two hour performance at the Palace of Fine Arts. My ideal girls' night out.
I bought my ticket to this show over two months ago to raise my spirits. I've been a little bummed because this is the first year in four that I will not be going to Hawaii. I know it's nothing tragic but it has become a very nice tradition. Anyway, The Man and I agreed that we should save $ which means no expensive vacations. I don't know about you but my job causes me to need - like Whitney & Bobby need their fix - a required tropical vacation (mandated by my sanity) and this "no Hawaii" has been rough. I visited my friend in Colorado and had a fantastic time in Washington to see Sister but my WORK FUNK prevailed and I need more.
Two weeks ago, my friend Maria presented an idea. She planned on going to Hawaii with her boyfriend for a wedding. She asked me if I would go to keep her company while her bf played with his friends. I declined. Shoot, if The Man and I weren't going, why would I go for some stranger's wedding? But then she said that she would leave a few days earlier if I went. Dang. I really need to save money. But doesn't saving my sanity take precedence?? I told her I would consider it if we could find a great deal on a hotel and car rental.
(Oahu, 2004)
We did. My flight is booked and I will be going to the Aloha State in a month and a half. From now on, I will bring bag lunches to work and drastically cut back on my Starbucks. (On the bright side, this will help me lose the 10 lbs I've been trying to shake off.) I will NOT buy any new clothes, shoes or purses *oh lawdee* I will cook for The Man as an alternative to us eating out *son of a biscuit* This is all worth it to be able to go to Hawaii.
I'm going to Oahu on a shoestring budget. The hotel is crap and the car is crappier. But who cares?? I'm going to explore the island, sunbathe, and drink*. I am so excited! It's a lovely birthday gift to myself.
*If you want to be intoxicated but not consume a lot of empty calories, I recommend Rum & Diet Cherry Pepsi. The Cherry flavoring overpowers the rum and the calories are only from the alcohol (2 oz=130 calories.) Just call it "the SFHulaGirl" :) It's quite delicious and feels fantastic.
Friday, October 14, 2005
It's time for a change
"SFHulaGirl" will no longer do. Although I've danced for five years, I haven't gone to a class in five months (I'm currently halau-less but I will find a new one!) and I no longer live or work in the city. It was perfect name a couple years ago and is still fine for all my hula yahoo groups, but not good for this little journal of mine.
My first choice was "Firecracker" because it felt right. Taken. "Spitfire" also seemed fitting but I'll be honest. Having "spit" in my name just wasn't appealing. I'm out of ideas. I don't want something too cutesy, sexy, snatchy or dirty. And although I'm quite fond of the word, vaganus, it falls under the "too dirty" category.
I'm throwing it out there now. Got any ideas? Please be kind, clean and simple. But feel free to be creative! If we can't think of anything, I'm keeping "SFHulaGirl." But at this moment in time, my username seems fraudulent.
*I considered "Little Manila" but I might catch some heat for that.
My first choice was "Firecracker" because it felt right. Taken. "Spitfire" also seemed fitting but I'll be honest. Having "spit" in my name just wasn't appealing. I'm out of ideas. I don't want something too cutesy, sexy, snatchy or dirty. And although I'm quite fond of the word, vaganus, it falls under the "too dirty" category.
I'm throwing it out there now. Got any ideas? Please be kind, clean and simple. But feel free to be creative! If we can't think of anything, I'm keeping "SFHulaGirl." But at this moment in time, my username seems fraudulent.
*I considered "Little Manila" but I might catch some heat for that.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Is it the message or the messenger?
At work, I've somehow obtained the title of "The Girl with the Dirty Mouth." Now wait a minute, I must defend myself!
(Don't worry, I've learned from other people's mistakes, I'm not going to go off about work. In fact, I actually like my job ... most of the time.)
In any case, one of my coworkers today said to another, "Watch out, Lulu has a dirty mouth." And I replied, "C'mon! I can't possibly be worse than Jacky or Maria!" Jacky & Maria talk about everything, from penises to poop, skanks to pricks, and everything in between. Granted, I have said "vagina" in a management meeting but that isn't vulgar.
So why is it a big deal when I say something a little off key? Because it's not expected of me. People look at me and think I'm this harmless, innocent-looking, five-foot nothing little girl (it doesn't help that I do look younger than my age.) I'm also friendly, smile a lot, and generally have a pleasant disposition. Of course, I do let loose when I'm more comfortable around people. But it's really not so bad.
I curse a little but I also use alternative words to convey my feelings. Instead of the b-word, I like to say, "snatch." I know, I know, some people think it's worse but I just like how it sounds. I also like to make up words, like vaganus (vuh-jay-ness.) [I don't care what the urban dictionary says, the true and only real definition of "vaganus" is: "The result of giving birth-when the outer skin of the vagina rips, temporarily leaving the anus & vagina as one hole." I know this really doesn't happen but that's besides the point. I've heard too many birthing stories, which has heightened my already sky-high fear of the whole pregnancy process.] So at work, when I feel like dropping the f-bomb but shouldn't, I blurt out, "vaganus." I find it to be a satisfying substitute for many curse words. But I'm getting off topic.
I have coworkers who say A LOT worse than I do. But I think people expect it from them. When they look at me, they don't think I have that kind of crudeness in me. So when I DO say something a little bit colorful, there's practically a collective *gasp* in the room.Oh c'mon! You already know that I'm feisty, why are you so surprised when I blurt out something? Evidently, when I talk, birds should chirp, Bambi should prance in front of me and butterflies should flutter about.
Well, I can't always be Miss Merry Sunshine and happy-go-lucky. And even when I am in a good mood, why can't I talk the way Joe Shmoe talks? I believe I'm a genuinely nice person but I am no disney character. I'm not always going to be G-rated. Like Britney said, "I'm not that innocent." (Holy crap, is that the codeine cough syrup talking? I can't believe I just quoted the Brit-Brit.)
(Don't worry, I've learned from other people's mistakes, I'm not going to go off about work. In fact, I actually like my job ... most of the time.)
In any case, one of my coworkers today said to another, "Watch out, Lulu has a dirty mouth." And I replied, "C'mon! I can't possibly be worse than Jacky or Maria!" Jacky & Maria talk about everything, from penises to poop, skanks to pricks, and everything in between. Granted, I have said "vagina" in a management meeting but that isn't vulgar.
So why is it a big deal when I say something a little off key? Because it's not expected of me. People look at me and think I'm this harmless, innocent-looking, five-foot nothing little girl (it doesn't help that I do look younger than my age.) I'm also friendly, smile a lot, and generally have a pleasant disposition. Of course, I do let loose when I'm more comfortable around people. But it's really not so bad.
I curse a little but I also use alternative words to convey my feelings. Instead of the b-word, I like to say, "snatch." I know, I know, some people think it's worse but I just like how it sounds. I also like to make up words, like vaganus (vuh-jay-ness.) [I don't care what the urban dictionary says, the true and only real definition of "vaganus" is: "The result of giving birth-when the outer skin of the vagina rips, temporarily leaving the anus & vagina as one hole." I know this really doesn't happen but that's besides the point. I've heard too many birthing stories, which has heightened my already sky-high fear of the whole pregnancy process.] So at work, when I feel like dropping the f-bomb but shouldn't, I blurt out, "vaganus." I find it to be a satisfying substitute for many curse words. But I'm getting off topic.
I have coworkers who say A LOT worse than I do. But I think people expect it from them. When they look at me, they don't think I have that kind of crudeness in me. So when I DO say something a little bit colorful, there's practically a collective *gasp* in the room.Oh c'mon! You already know that I'm feisty, why are you so surprised when I blurt out something? Evidently, when I talk, birds should chirp, Bambi should prance in front of me and butterflies should flutter about.
Well, I can't always be Miss Merry Sunshine and happy-go-lucky. And even when I am in a good mood, why can't I talk the way Joe Shmoe talks? I believe I'm a genuinely nice person but I am no disney character. I'm not always going to be G-rated. Like Britney said, "I'm not that innocent." (Holy crap, is that the codeine cough syrup talking? I can't believe I just quoted the Brit-Brit.)
Friday, October 07, 2005
Miserable & Cable-less
This cough will NOT go away. Monday was a 1/2 work day, went to work Tuesday & Wednesday, another 1/2 day on Thursday and I've just thrown in the towel and stayed home today. Called the Kaiser Care line and evidently NyQuil is NOT the way to go. Now I'm doped up on Robitussin and drinking vitamin water.
Normally, not having cable isn't a big deal. I'm hardly home during the week and, having cable in the past, I know if I did have cable I would watch TV ALL. THE. TIME. So what am I watching right now? "Cheaters." Dang, I thought this show was only on after midnight. It was either that or "The View" and I can't stand their bickering. So yesss, "Cheaters." What a piece of television work. The premise - people suspecting their signficant others are cheating on them call the show, "Cheaters." The show's producers then send their investigators to spy on the suspect and, of course, they air the people that are, in fact, cheating.
Do you know any couple who's been on "Cheaters?" I bet the answer is no. I have a hard time believing that these people are for real and personally think they're actors (much like the folks on Springer.) Maybe it's my optimism but I truly believe the people on this show are actors because it would be a real shame to have real life couples that are this sad and pathetic.
Oh pllleeeeaaase let there be something more interesting to watch for the rest of the day. Or hopefully I'll pass out before being subjected to more crack TV.
PS: Have mercy, I just accidently swallowed my brand new Halls lozenge. I've never "accidently swallowed" anything, not even gum! Ten minutes later ... I can STILL feel it in my throat. Criminy. I'm a mess.
Normally, not having cable isn't a big deal. I'm hardly home during the week and, having cable in the past, I know if I did have cable I would watch TV ALL. THE. TIME. So what am I watching right now? "Cheaters." Dang, I thought this show was only on after midnight. It was either that or "The View" and I can't stand their bickering. So yesss, "Cheaters." What a piece of television work. The premise - people suspecting their signficant others are cheating on them call the show, "Cheaters." The show's producers then send their investigators to spy on the suspect and, of course, they air the people that are, in fact, cheating.
Do you know any couple who's been on "Cheaters?" I bet the answer is no. I have a hard time believing that these people are for real and personally think they're actors (much like the folks on Springer.) Maybe it's my optimism but I truly believe the people on this show are actors because it would be a real shame to have real life couples that are this sad and pathetic.
Oh pllleeeeaaase let there be something more interesting to watch for the rest of the day. Or hopefully I'll pass out before being subjected to more crack TV.
PS: Have mercy, I just accidently swallowed my brand new Halls lozenge. I've never "accidently swallowed" anything, not even gum! Ten minutes later ... I can STILL feel it in my throat. Criminy. I'm a mess.
Monday, October 03, 2005
What's Your Guilty Pleasure?
I am home, doped up on NyQuil. It's noon and I'm watching a show that was once one of my guilty pleasures ... "Starting Over" on NBC. If you haven't seen it, imagine Real World but everyone is 30-50 years old and it's run by life coaches & therapists. And the participants are all women. Ohh yahhh, it's a recipe for fun.
I can't help it and I won't apologize! Sure, there's always someone crying in each scene but that's the beauty of it. Right now one of the participants, Cheryl, is talking about how her family wanted a boy. When she was born, her sisters went around the neighborhood and told them about their new baby brother, "Little Earl." As an adult, when Cheryl acts out and isn't faithful to her husband or treats him badly, the life coach said it's her "Little Earl" coming out. Her life coach wants "Big Cheryl" to overcome "Little Earl." How f%&^ed up is that??? (I won't even go into how wrong it is to call a woman "Big" anything.)
I also confess to watching "Veronica Mars." Hey now! It's better than the O.C. or any other teenybopper show.
I can't help it and I won't apologize! Sure, there's always someone crying in each scene but that's the beauty of it. Right now one of the participants, Cheryl, is talking about how her family wanted a boy. When she was born, her sisters went around the neighborhood and told them about their new baby brother, "Little Earl." As an adult, when Cheryl acts out and isn't faithful to her husband or treats him badly, the life coach said it's her "Little Earl" coming out. Her life coach wants "Big Cheryl" to overcome "Little Earl." How f%&^ed up is that??? (I won't even go into how wrong it is to call a woman "Big" anything.)
I also confess to watching "Veronica Mars." Hey now! It's better than the O.C. or any other teenybopper show.
Now you know. It's all out in the open and I may have lost cool points with you. But what can I say? You have to love me for ME!
Have some sympathy. I'm sick and coughing my head off :(Saturday, October 01, 2005
Don't you love those surveys?
Read, comment, and then it's YOUR turn!
(All right, MsLips. Here it is...)
1) My uncle: Which one? I have A LOT. No really, I do.
2) Never in my life: waxed my bikini line
3) When I was five: I deeply loved Windy, my cabbage patch doll.
4) High School was: hella ghetto.
5) I will never forget: my senior year in college. LOTS of growing up in one year.
6) I once met: Robin Williams. He asked me to get his coat (I was working a charity event.) I don't care, he's freakin' hysterical.
7) There’s this guy/girl I know who: slobbers PUDDLES on my pillow.
8) Once, at a bar: I shouldered a guy like I was as big as him. He pissed me off!
9) By noon I’m usually: more than ready to go on my lunch break.
10) Last night: my friend made me two chocolate martinis and then we went to an intramural, slow-pitch softball game. Makes sense now, doesn't it?
11) If I only had: a gabillion dollars. Then maybe I could afford ONE house in the Bay Area. Ohhh, I'm not bitter.
12) Next time I go to church, I'll: be hearing Tagalog.
13) Terry Schiavo: was a very sad true story.
14) What worries me most: is failure.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: my remote.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: The Man. Drooling on my pillow. *sigh*
17) You know I’m lying when: you have a really bad haircut and I say it's not that bad. It's THAT bad.
18) You know what I miss most about the eighties: is the pegged jeans. I wouldn't need to get them hemmed! I could just fold and pin. Or staple.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I would make sure my flowing dresses were majestic. And flattering for petite women.
20) By this time next year: I hope to own a house.
21) A better name for me would be: Tallulah aka LuLu. Then I would feel comfortable wearing two buns in my hair.
22) I have a hard time understanding: close- or narrow-minded people.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: get an MBA or PhD from Stanford or Berkeley. Hey, I've already BEEN in school and it was such a struggle. It had better be worth my while to be (1) poor again and (2) having to spend a crap load of time researching and reading journal articles from microfiche. I DETEST microfiche and the microfiche viewer.
24) You know I like you if: I make dates with you. Dinner date, movie date, knitting date, wine date, workout date ... any date.
25) If I won an award: I would make sure my family was there to whoop it up with
me.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro:
Darwin-Evolution and my pal from the 3rd grade
Mozart-piano and playing it for 8 years
Slim Pickens-my feeling about good men
Geraldine Ferraro-Google (sadly, what I had to do to find out who she was.)
27) Take my advice, never: perm your hair.
28) My ideal breakfast is: oatmeal with strawberries, blueberries, mandarin oranges and fatfree milk. Mmmm.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: "Smack My Bitch Up." I don't love it but it intrigues me (I have all the songs I love!)
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you visit the Cal State East Bay campus because it's got a beautiful view of the Bay. But I do suggest you NOT visit the Dollar Store on Mission Blvd.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars:
Tulips-My mom's favorite flower
Character flaws-we all have them but you got to figure out what you can put up with
Microchips-(not a darn thing)
Track stars-steroid scandal
32) Why doesn't everyone: take a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day-Oh yes Cyn! I vote that we implement a Mandatory Siesta!
33) If you spend the night at my house: you better not leave shrapnel all over my toilet seat. Ewww. (Hasn't happened to me yet but my poor Sister has stories.)
34) I’d stop my wedding for: a medical emergency
35) The world could do without: Bush (Senior or Junior)
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat poo.
37) My favorite blonde is: Drew Barrymore. Shoot, is she a brunette? Then Kelly Ripa. Dangummit, if she's not blond than I have no favorite blonds and a crapload of favorite undercover brunettes.
38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than: folding paper - You said it, MsLips.
39) If I do anything well, it's: have a fun time just about anywhere I go.
40) And by the way, you should: all cut and paste, change the answers and let me read your responses.
(All right, MsLips. Here it is...)
1) My uncle: Which one? I have A LOT. No really, I do.
2) Never in my life: waxed my bikini line
3) When I was five: I deeply loved Windy, my cabbage patch doll.
4) High School was: hella ghetto.
5) I will never forget: my senior year in college. LOTS of growing up in one year.
6) I once met: Robin Williams. He asked me to get his coat (I was working a charity event.) I don't care, he's freakin' hysterical.
7) There’s this guy/girl I know who: slobbers PUDDLES on my pillow.
8) Once, at a bar: I shouldered a guy like I was as big as him. He pissed me off!
9) By noon I’m usually: more than ready to go on my lunch break.
10) Last night: my friend made me two chocolate martinis and then we went to an intramural, slow-pitch softball game. Makes sense now, doesn't it?
11) If I only had: a gabillion dollars. Then maybe I could afford ONE house in the Bay Area. Ohhh, I'm not bitter.
12) Next time I go to church, I'll: be hearing Tagalog.
13) Terry Schiavo: was a very sad true story.
14) What worries me most: is failure.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: my remote.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: The Man. Drooling on my pillow. *sigh*
17) You know I’m lying when: you have a really bad haircut and I say it's not that bad. It's THAT bad.
18) You know what I miss most about the eighties: is the pegged jeans. I wouldn't need to get them hemmed! I could just fold and pin. Or staple.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I would make sure my flowing dresses were majestic. And flattering for petite women.
20) By this time next year: I hope to own a house.
21) A better name for me would be: Tallulah aka LuLu. Then I would feel comfortable wearing two buns in my hair.
22) I have a hard time understanding: close- or narrow-minded people.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll: get an MBA or PhD from Stanford or Berkeley. Hey, I've already BEEN in school and it was such a struggle. It had better be worth my while to be (1) poor again and (2) having to spend a crap load of time researching and reading journal articles from microfiche. I DETEST microfiche and the microfiche viewer.
24) You know I like you if: I make dates with you. Dinner date, movie date, knitting date, wine date, workout date ... any date.
25) If I won an award: I would make sure my family was there to whoop it up with
me.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro:
Darwin-Evolution and my pal from the 3rd grade
Mozart-piano and playing it for 8 years
Slim Pickens-my feeling about good men
Geraldine Ferraro-Google (sadly, what I had to do to find out who she was.)
27) Take my advice, never: perm your hair.
28) My ideal breakfast is: oatmeal with strawberries, blueberries, mandarin oranges and fatfree milk. Mmmm.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: "Smack My Bitch Up." I don't love it but it intrigues me (I have all the songs I love!)
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you visit the Cal State East Bay campus because it's got a beautiful view of the Bay. But I do suggest you NOT visit the Dollar Store on Mission Blvd.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars:
Tulips-My mom's favorite flower
Character flaws-we all have them but you got to figure out what you can put up with
Microchips-(not a darn thing)
Track stars-steroid scandal
32) Why doesn't everyone: take a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day-Oh yes Cyn! I vote that we implement a Mandatory Siesta!
33) If you spend the night at my house: you better not leave shrapnel all over my toilet seat. Ewww. (Hasn't happened to me yet but my poor Sister has stories.)
34) I’d stop my wedding for: a medical emergency
35) The world could do without: Bush (Senior or Junior)
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat poo.
37) My favorite blonde is: Drew Barrymore. Shoot, is she a brunette? Then Kelly Ripa. Dangummit, if she's not blond than I have no favorite blonds and a crapload of favorite undercover brunettes.
38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than: folding paper - You said it, MsLips.
39) If I do anything well, it's: have a fun time just about anywhere I go.
40) And by the way, you should: all cut and paste, change the answers and let me read your responses.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Off the market.
I am flattered when people want to introduce me to their son/nephew/brother/friend. It means they think I would be ideal for their loved one. And it's a nice little ego boost because it tells me, "Hey, I still got the stuff!" Silly, I know, but since I'm not big on flirting, any other indications that I could possibly still be attractive to the opposite sex is such a nice surprise. (I won't delve into my insecurity issues - I'm human and they're there.)
Of course, these people know that I'm with The Man. Which may also contribute to the "appeal." (You know, like when a guy you never thought of as boyfriend material gets a girlfriend and then you think, hey, he might be a great boyfriend. Of course I'VE never had that thought. I'm just saying.)
What's my point? A colleague wanted to introduce me to her brother-in-law. She brought this up even though she saw The Man's pictures in my office*. I replied that I was flattered but I'm very, very happy in my relationship. Observing my hula dancer pictures, she said, "You like Hawaii, right? Well, my brother-in-law has two houses in Hawaii. Just something to think about." What the ...?! That's playing dirty!**
No, no, no, I didn't even entertain the idea. I am madly in love (I have a big bruise on my thigh to prove it! Read previous entry.) But DANG. When did bribery become part of the matchmaking process? Son of a biscuit. I have to confess, I haven't given the guy a second thought but I do often daydream about those houses.
Anyhow, don't be annoyed when someone wants to fix you up. I know some folks think it's horrible and a pity gesture. It's not, it's a compliment. It means that they think you're swell and they want you to meet someone they think is equally swell. [Of course, there are those times when this theory backfires. It's when you meet the person that is supposedly "perfect" for you and by the end of the date, you want to beat them with their own arm - I know, I have stories.]
*I have a picture frame that doubles as a flip album so I can contain all my pictures of us. I didn't want to be one of those girlfriends that have a freakin' shrine of their man.
**She was actually genuinely happy that I'm in a good relationship. I think that since she married when she was in her 40s she figured she would offer options to me. Not that that would make The Man more understanding of this scenario or make his heart warm and fuzzy.
Of course, these people know that I'm with The Man. Which may also contribute to the "appeal." (You know, like when a guy you never thought of as boyfriend material gets a girlfriend and then you think, hey, he might be a great boyfriend. Of course I'VE never had that thought. I'm just saying.)
What's my point? A colleague wanted to introduce me to her brother-in-law. She brought this up even though she saw The Man's pictures in my office*. I replied that I was flattered but I'm very, very happy in my relationship. Observing my hula dancer pictures, she said, "You like Hawaii, right? Well, my brother-in-law has two houses in Hawaii. Just something to think about." What the ...?! That's playing dirty!**
No, no, no, I didn't even entertain the idea. I am madly in love (I have a big bruise on my thigh to prove it! Read previous entry.) But DANG. When did bribery become part of the matchmaking process? Son of a biscuit. I have to confess, I haven't given the guy a second thought but I do often daydream about those houses.
Anyhow, don't be annoyed when someone wants to fix you up. I know some folks think it's horrible and a pity gesture. It's not, it's a compliment. It means that they think you're swell and they want you to meet someone they think is equally swell. [Of course, there are those times when this theory backfires. It's when you meet the person that is supposedly "perfect" for you and by the end of the date, you want to beat them with their own arm - I know, I have stories.]
*I have a picture frame that doubles as a flip album so I can contain all my pictures of us. I didn't want to be one of those girlfriends that have a freakin' shrine of their man.
**She was actually genuinely happy that I'm in a good relationship. I think that since she married when she was in her 40s she figured she would offer options to me. Not that that would make The Man more understanding of this scenario or make his heart warm and fuzzy.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Take THIS, Moh Fohs!!
I bruise easily for a tan gal. Although I'm well aware of this, I went paintballing this weekend. What can I say? Love is blind, forgetful, and sometimes just a dumb a$$.
I didn't do a lot of damage out in the field. I don't even know if I hit anyone. I had a rental so my gun (I mean "marker." Can't call it a gun) was not only inaccurate but its impact could be compared to a sissygirl slap. I didn't have much to work with but dammit, I gave it my all. I sprinted up hills. I slid down hills to hide behind barrels & cover my teammates. I was shot in the mouth (thanks be for the helmet) and the thigh (big purple bruise.) I unloaded my paintball pellets like someone talked about my mama.
I swear, this excursion made my Monday more bearable. Everyone should be able to unleash their aggression in some healthy fashion. And hell yah, I'm buying my own paintball marker!
Now that I've let some time pass, the urgency that was once there to buy my marker has passed. But I'm determined to kick a$$ next time so there will be a purchase in the future.
I didn't do a lot of damage out in the field. I don't even know if I hit anyone. I had a rental so my gun (I mean "marker." Can't call it a gun) was not only inaccurate but its impact could be compared to a sissygirl slap. I didn't have much to work with but dammit, I gave it my all. I sprinted up hills. I slid down hills to hide behind barrels & cover my teammates. I was shot in the mouth (thanks be for the helmet) and the thigh (big purple bruise.) I unloaded my paintball pellets like someone talked about my mama.
I swear, this excursion made my Monday more bearable. Everyone should be able to unleash their aggression in some healthy fashion. And hell yah, I'm buying my own paintball marker!
Now that I've let some time pass, the urgency that was once there to buy my marker has passed. But I'm determined to kick a$$ next time so there will be a purchase in the future.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Happy Birthday, Demondoll!!
My sister is 40 years old today!!! She is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT people in my world. For the first 11 years of my life, she was my second mom. Of the people who have come in and out of my life, Sister has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. She is a beautiful person who knew how to be a FANTASTIC mom before she ever had a child of her own. She also has a naughty sense of humor ;)
One of my favorite "sister" stories:
My sister lived in LA and would come to visit during the summer and the holidays. When she would visit, she would sleep in my room. On this particular visit, I was probably 15 years old. I had dozed off around 10pm but she woke me up a half hour later by nudging my shoulder. "Psst, hey. I think you're hungry." I turned, barely opening my eyes, "Hummrrrgh?" Sister shook me a little again, "I said, I think you're hungry. I think you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." Still groggy, I replied, "Huh?" Sister persisted and said, "I think you want a PB&J. Toasted." I didn't question her and just got up. As I left my room, my sister added, "Oh! And you also want a glass of milk." I went downstairs, still half asleep, and toasted two pieces of bread. Dad usually stayed up late to watch TV so he was already downstairs when I prepared "my" sandwich. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Uhh, making a sandwich." Looking perplexed, he asked, "You're hungry?" I replied, "Well, sort of." In my drowsy state, I made the sandwich, poured a glass of milk and went back upstairs. My sister was waiting patiently, reading her book when I came back to my room. She took the snack from me and I went back under my blankets. (She at least said thanks.) I fell back asleep, not really knowing that I got conned.
Now that's a big sister for you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER! I love you.
One of my favorite "sister" stories:
My sister lived in LA and would come to visit during the summer and the holidays. When she would visit, she would sleep in my room. On this particular visit, I was probably 15 years old. I had dozed off around 10pm but she woke me up a half hour later by nudging my shoulder. "Psst, hey. I think you're hungry." I turned, barely opening my eyes, "Hummrrrgh?" Sister shook me a little again, "I said, I think you're hungry. I think you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." Still groggy, I replied, "Huh?" Sister persisted and said, "I think you want a PB&J. Toasted." I didn't question her and just got up. As I left my room, my sister added, "Oh! And you also want a glass of milk." I went downstairs, still half asleep, and toasted two pieces of bread. Dad usually stayed up late to watch TV so he was already downstairs when I prepared "my" sandwich. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Uhh, making a sandwich." Looking perplexed, he asked, "You're hungry?" I replied, "Well, sort of." In my drowsy state, I made the sandwich, poured a glass of milk and went back upstairs. My sister was waiting patiently, reading her book when I came back to my room. She took the snack from me and I went back under my blankets. (She at least said thanks.) I fell back asleep, not really knowing that I got conned.
Now that's a big sister for you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER! I love you.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
News Announcement
Washington D.C. - The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects an abundance of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
-- Associated Press
-- Associated Press
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Dollah Dollah Bill Y'all
I like the dollar store. I don't love it the way I love Target but the dollar store has great finds like gift bags, certain office supplies, kids stuff and disposable household ware. There was a dollar store by my house that I sometimes shopped because it was nice and respectable. I call it "nice and respectable" because, while it did smell funny, the folks were usually normal and the place was fairly clean.
I forgot it closed when I had told The Man, at a department store, that $4 was too much for a gift bag and we could get one at the dollar store. Well, it's now right before a little girl's bday party so we have to find one. Remembering there was a dollar store on Mission Blvd., we scramble to find it. [Side note: A wise person once told me that roads with "Mission" in the name are certain to be questionable or dangerous. Seriously, think about it.] On our right, we see a 99 cents store next to Bobby's Smoke House. OK, let's give it a whirl.
We pull into the back parking lot and walk up a ramp (that's right, not steps but a ramp.) Hmm. Second clue - The doors are open and on the left, handwritten in paint, is "ENTANCE." No, I didn't make a typing error. Third clue - The place is disheveled, smells funky and, in an instant, I decide it's the ghetto-est Dollar Store I've ever seen. The carpet is dark gray with stains and gum everywhere. Items are in random places like someone threw stuff in the air and hoped it went into the baskets. Now, growing up in the East Bay, I know ghetto when I see it. And this is ghetto.
My fourth clue although you better believe I was done after the second clue - There is a handwritten note in Sharpie, photocopied, and posted all along the store. It reads, "Have some respect and class. Do not open the packaged merchandise or throw things around. Thank you, Fred." Aww, you got to tell people to show some class? Fred, I'd say this is a battle you've already lost.
A little bit scared but not deterred from our quest, I march to the back and find a big gift bag. I show The Man and he says it's fine. I know from our exchanged looks he wants to get the hell-up-outa-there, too. We go to the cash register and wait our turn. My fifth and final clue? The cashier has a lit cigarette resting on the register with the tip making a nice smokey trail to the ceiling. I mean, there IS an ashtray a few feet away on the coffee table by the couch and black & white TV. But hey, it was probably too far away for the guy. OK, so there are quite a few clues of just how ghetto this place is.
We are behind an older woman and her little granddaughter. I want to tell the little girl, "Run baby, run!" as I eye the cashier and the other man near the entrance. (He was also quite suspicious, stringy haired and scratching himself. But I wasn't certain of him so he wasn't officially a clue.) The Man and I are next. We give him a $1.09 for our bag and all but sprint out of the store and back down the ramp.
I love obscure shops as much as the next person. I adore the little stores in Chinatown, with all their mysterious merchandise and questionable pricing techniques. But dammit, this dollar store was NOT one of those cool shops. It was ghetto. G.H.E.T.T.O. Ghetto. Was it worth the $3 savings? No. Even with The Man present to protect me? HEYYYYYYLLLL NO. Mmm-mm. My happy a$$ will wait for a department store to have a sale or just pay full price. It's funny how I take the nice feeling of SAFETY for granted at a store and don't realize how nice it is until it's gone.
I forgot it closed when I had told The Man, at a department store, that $4 was too much for a gift bag and we could get one at the dollar store. Well, it's now right before a little girl's bday party so we have to find one. Remembering there was a dollar store on Mission Blvd., we scramble to find it. [Side note: A wise person once told me that roads with "Mission" in the name are certain to be questionable or dangerous. Seriously, think about it.] On our right, we see a 99 cents store next to Bobby's Smoke House. OK, let's give it a whirl.
We pull into the back parking lot and walk up a ramp (that's right, not steps but a ramp.) Hmm. Second clue - The doors are open and on the left, handwritten in paint, is "ENTANCE." No, I didn't make a typing error. Third clue - The place is disheveled, smells funky and, in an instant, I decide it's the ghetto-est Dollar Store I've ever seen. The carpet is dark gray with stains and gum everywhere. Items are in random places like someone threw stuff in the air and hoped it went into the baskets. Now, growing up in the East Bay, I know ghetto when I see it. And this is ghetto.
My fourth clue although you better believe I was done after the second clue - There is a handwritten note in Sharpie, photocopied, and posted all along the store. It reads, "Have some respect and class. Do not open the packaged merchandise or throw things around. Thank you, Fred." Aww, you got to tell people to show some class? Fred, I'd say this is a battle you've already lost.
A little bit scared but not deterred from our quest, I march to the back and find a big gift bag. I show The Man and he says it's fine. I know from our exchanged looks he wants to get the hell-up-outa-there, too. We go to the cash register and wait our turn. My fifth and final clue? The cashier has a lit cigarette resting on the register with the tip making a nice smokey trail to the ceiling. I mean, there IS an ashtray a few feet away on the coffee table by the couch and black & white TV. But hey, it was probably too far away for the guy. OK, so there are quite a few clues of just how ghetto this place is.
We are behind an older woman and her little granddaughter. I want to tell the little girl, "Run baby, run!" as I eye the cashier and the other man near the entrance. (He was also quite suspicious, stringy haired and scratching himself. But I wasn't certain of him so he wasn't officially a clue.) The Man and I are next. We give him a $1.09 for our bag and all but sprint out of the store and back down the ramp.
I love obscure shops as much as the next person. I adore the little stores in Chinatown, with all their mysterious merchandise and questionable pricing techniques. But dammit, this dollar store was NOT one of those cool shops. It was ghetto. G.H.E.T.T.O. Ghetto. Was it worth the $3 savings? No. Even with The Man present to protect me? HEYYYYYYLLLL NO. Mmm-mm. My happy a$$ will wait for a department store to have a sale or just pay full price. It's funny how I take the nice feeling of SAFETY for granted at a store and don't realize how nice it is until it's gone.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Blessed be ... TGIF!
It's been a semi-rough week. I have a tendency to over analyze myself (better me than you, right??) so I'm trying to figure out why it's been an off week. Is it because I'm getting busy at work so I'm stressing out? OR is it because it's my pre-Power Week? This is what I lovingly call my monthly woman visit. In The Man's words, it's when I "cause havoc, strife and leave destruction in [my] wake." (The Man's got a sense of humor.) Maybe it's a nice combination of the two. In any case, THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!
This is my most favorite day of the week, even though it's not a completely work-free day. There's something about knowing I have an evening where I can stay up late, sleep in the next morning and then spend Saturday any way I want. Friday, I'm in Love!!
This is my most favorite day of the week, even though it's not a completely work-free day. There's something about knowing I have an evening where I can stay up late, sleep in the next morning and then spend Saturday any way I want. Friday, I'm in Love!!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
The Man's keeping me up.
When I left work, my hair was probably 1/2 a foot big - it was one of those days. I went through most of the work day OK and then it ended with a guy trying to blame me for his lack of progress aka his procrastination. That's always fun.
So I go home and The Man decides to come over. There's no special occasion, he's just visiting me. He has no idea that I'm in a little funk (which is probably good because he may have flipped a U and gone home.) He brought with him (1) a windshield shade because I've been wanting one like his but keep forgetting to buy one (2) a Green Day CD he burned because I wanted to hear GD circa 1994, and (3) a novel, The Known World, which he chose b/c he saw it was featured on Oprah's Book Club so it must be good. No reason for these little gifts, they were "just because."
I wrote it before and I'll write it again. It's the little things that count. My hair is calm, no Asian afro in sight. Now you get why I was so excited to get him a paintball gun. The Man DESERVES it. And anything else that makes his heart warm and fuzzy :)
So I go home and The Man decides to come over. There's no special occasion, he's just visiting me. He has no idea that I'm in a little funk (which is probably good because he may have flipped a U and gone home.) He brought with him (1) a windshield shade because I've been wanting one like his but keep forgetting to buy one (2) a Green Day CD he burned because I wanted to hear GD circa 1994, and (3) a novel, The Known World, which he chose b/c he saw it was featured on Oprah's Book Club so it must be good. No reason for these little gifts, they were "just because."
I wrote it before and I'll write it again. It's the little things that count. My hair is calm, no Asian afro in sight. Now you get why I was so excited to get him a paintball gun. The Man DESERVES it. And anything else that makes his heart warm and fuzzy :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Knowing when it's over.
I saw this beautiful shawl and was convinced that I could make it. This sneaky yarn store suckered me with all its cuteness and charm and examples of how you can use their expensive yarn to make "simple" projects. Then I had this brilliant idea. I could make my mom this shawl for Mother's Day. So I bought two balls* of this kid mohair yarn at nearly $25 a pop. Dang.
The yarn label suggests to use size 5 needles but to make this delicate shawl, the Yarn Place said to use size 15 needles. And if you were wondering, yes, Mother's Day has come and gone (how sick would it be if I was already thinking about next year's M-Day? Please!) and it's not even half way done. I have been working on this damn shawl for four months - I took a break in July because (a) it was too hot and (b) I couldn't muster the patience. It was suppose to be simple knitting!
Just recently, I set my mind to finish it. I even brought it to Tel's house so I can finish this freakin' thing because I don't want to start another project without finishing my first one. Well, I had to undo some parts AGAIN and I just realized, I HATE this shawl. I hate doing it and it's just not giving me that warm fuzzy feeling. And it sure as hell isn't giving me instant gratification. So I unraveled the whole thing. And it felt gooooood.
I don't think of myself as a quitter. I'm pretty gung-ho about most stuff. But you know what? You just got to realize when it's over. And my pathetic patch of a shawl was OVER. There is now a spring in my step and little bit of giddyness knowing that I get to start a new project!
*Ball, skean, I'm still learning the terminology. I'm brand spankin' new to knitting so bear with me.
The yarn label suggests to use size 5 needles but to make this delicate shawl, the Yarn Place said to use size 15 needles. And if you were wondering, yes, Mother's Day has come and gone (how sick would it be if I was already thinking about next year's M-Day? Please!) and it's not even half way done. I have been working on this damn shawl for four months - I took a break in July because (a) it was too hot and (b) I couldn't muster the patience. It was suppose to be simple knitting!
Just recently, I set my mind to finish it. I even brought it to Tel's house so I can finish this freakin' thing because I don't want to start another project without finishing my first one. Well, I had to undo some parts AGAIN and I just realized, I HATE this shawl. I hate doing it and it's just not giving me that warm fuzzy feeling. And it sure as hell isn't giving me instant gratification. So I unraveled the whole thing. And it felt gooooood.
I don't think of myself as a quitter. I'm pretty gung-ho about most stuff. But you know what? You just got to realize when it's over. And my pathetic patch of a shawl was OVER. There is now a spring in my step and little bit of giddyness knowing that I get to start a new project!
*Ball, skean, I'm still learning the terminology. I'm brand spankin' new to knitting so bear with me.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Mondays can just SUCK IT.
Wow, I can hardly believe that came from me. But it did and it's true. And yes, I did the wrestling move that goes along with it. And you know what's terrible? It doesn't necessarily have to be a Monday. Last week, because of Labor Day, Tuesday was my Monday ( which inspired my "Pie Hole" entry.) And it stunk to high heaven. As did my Monday this week.
It doesn't matter how organized I am, how much I try to prepare (I'm talking months in advance,) it can all go up in smoke if people cancel or flake. Arghhhh!!!! I'm on the verge of pulling out chunks of hair!* I just keep telling myself how much I normally LOVE my job. But let me tell you, after events that I set up way in advance were cancelled, I was ready to stick a foot in someone's ....
My Monday oasis: Morning coffee with Dad. I adore my family, no matter how crazy we get. On Mondays, I try my best to see my Dad and have coffee before work. We chat for a 1/2 hour or so and then I go to work and he goes on his daily walk. When I was in school, I swear I was prepping for retirement. On my days off, Dad and I would go for a midmorning walk, have coffee, then walk home. We would eat lunch then go to our rooms for siesta. In the afternoon, we would putter around the house or garden, watch TV, eat dinner, watch TV, go to sleep. Now I live on my own and work 40+ hours so those days are gone.
These coffee dates aren't nearly as good as our walks but they're something. I love my Dad, my parents are so cute and little! Yes, I am a "Daddy's Girl" and that's that.
(Oh, and hallelujah for the caffeine. It probably prevented me from taking my black pump and "...shining it up real nice, turning it side ways, and sticking it straight up your candy @ss!"**)
*Sister says my hair actually gets bigger when I'm angry. With days like this, expect a two foot afro next month.
**I did society a favor when I stopped watching WWF back in 2000.
It doesn't matter how organized I am, how much I try to prepare (I'm talking months in advance,) it can all go up in smoke if people cancel or flake. Arghhhh!!!! I'm on the verge of pulling out chunks of hair!* I just keep telling myself how much I normally LOVE my job. But let me tell you, after events that I set up way in advance were cancelled, I was ready to stick a foot in someone's ....
My Monday oasis: Morning coffee with Dad. I adore my family, no matter how crazy we get. On Mondays, I try my best to see my Dad and have coffee before work. We chat for a 1/2 hour or so and then I go to work and he goes on his daily walk. When I was in school, I swear I was prepping for retirement. On my days off, Dad and I would go for a midmorning walk, have coffee, then walk home. We would eat lunch then go to our rooms for siesta. In the afternoon, we would putter around the house or garden, watch TV, eat dinner, watch TV, go to sleep. Now I live on my own and work 40+ hours so those days are gone.
These coffee dates aren't nearly as good as our walks but they're something. I love my Dad, my parents are so cute and little! Yes, I am a "Daddy's Girl" and that's that.
(Oh, and hallelujah for the caffeine. It probably prevented me from taking my black pump and "...shining it up real nice, turning it side ways, and sticking it straight up your candy @ss!"**)
*Sister says my hair actually gets bigger when I'm angry. With days like this, expect a two foot afro next month.
**I did society a favor when I stopped watching WWF back in 2000.
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