13 hours of OH. MY. GAWD.

Look how cute and inconspicuous it is

I have this really cool app on my iPhone. It's attractive, fun and, best of all, it does what I want it to do. It tracks my lady time. It also estimates when I'm ovulating and fertile. Now that I'm not on birth control, I have no way of tracking my Power Week. [Insert Superman theme, if you will.]
Really, it's too darn cute. There is a banner held up by butterflies which floats serenely across the screen (how could it not be serene?) that reads, "Period Day 3" or "10 days until Period" or whatever it may be. I showed The Man after telling him all this because he thinks I sometimes get too excited over nothing or I'm easily amused (to be fair, I am) and, after seeing it, he replied, "It really is a very nice app!"
I don't lead folks astray.
Anyway, I don't look at it very often. In fact, this past Monday, I thought to myself, "Hmm, am I late? Because I could swear that I should have my period by now." I opened my handy app because, after all, this is its purpose, and saw the banner held by butterflies float across the screen with the writing, "5 days late."
Say what?
SAY WHAT?
My heart flip-flopped. I know that we were planning for this. I mean, this was why I no longer took birth control, right? Letting nature take its course, right? Sure. But HOLY CRAP. We did it. Again.
I, of course, sprinted straight to The Man and shoved my phone in his face and yelled, "I'm late!" Let me just say that yet again, I failed to present him with this kind of big news in a thoughtful and creative manner. I always mean to and even daydream of how I would do it. But no, I just damn near smack him over the head with it. Like this.
Anyway, I saw his face as he processed the information. First wondering if I meant I was late for an appointment. Or a play date I had scheduled way back when. Then I saw his expression change from puzzled to a face of joy.
"Right on!"
Yes, that's definitely a statement you want to hear from your significant other. On the other hand, this is what I was saying:
"Oh my gawd, what are we going to do? How are we going to sleep? How am I going to sleep?? I'm the one who can't sleep! How am I going to get two kids ready in the morning and myself and get them to day care or their grandparents AND get to work????"
I kid you not, I was shaking.
Being a parent is a complicated thing. You want it. It's awesome. It's rewarding. Yet it is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
I couldn't sleep that night. My mind raced, thinking of how I would manage it all. What's my game plan? I know that we can do it but how will we do it? I'm a planner. I can't control a lot but I will prepare everything I possibly can.
Then I got my period the next morning.
I was disappointed. Sure, I had worried all through the night but we did it! We were going to have a baby.  For roughly 13 hours, I thought I was going to bring a baby into this world in less than a year. I thought about doctors' appointments, eating better, preparing The Bun, all that stuff.
But it's OK. It's not our time yet. And the lesson to be learned from all this? You really should download the app. It's pretty cool.

My body is NOT a wonderland

I decided to see a chiropractor through a local chiropractic college a few months ago because of my shoulder. I really liked her (she has since graduated and moved back to LA) and was open to her holistic approach because she was really passionate about it without being preachy. The two things she was concerned about was my intake of aspartame and birth control pills. Aspartame has been hard to kick. It's in a lot of things that I like so I'm slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) taking that out of my diet. I am a huge fan of Crystal Light and consume it all day long. So we'll see abut kicking the aspartame. Birth control, on the other hand, is easy. You just stop. I have been on the pill for six years straight, ten years total. I had a one year break after four years because my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. I wasn't doing anything to merit a pregnancy scare and I knew that mixing birth control pills and cigarettes were dangerous. So of course I gave up the birth control. I loved Marlboro Menthol Ultra Lights. (Yes, I have a dreamy look on my face just thinking about it.) But anyway ... back to the chiropractor. She told me that if it was at all possible, I should stop taking the pill because of all the hormones and it's just healthier for my body to stop. Hmm. I thought about it and shared this information with The Man. While we are not trying to have a baby right now, getting pregnant now by accident versus getting pregnant, oh, while I was in college and broke ass, is pretty different. There are other methods of birth control, as well. So the pill and I have broken up.
My body is NOT happy. I have been off the pill for two weeks. This past week my body decided we were fighting and I had cramps for the entire week. Damn. I completely forgot that a wonderful side affect of being on birth control pills was that I stopped having cramps. They used to be so bad in high school that I would go home almost once a month. The school nurse and I were friends ... she knew that I wasn't trying to play her for a fool and I knew that she would only make me lie on that army cot they called a bed for 1/2 hour before letting me go home. I loved my school nurse. In addition to the cramps, I am angry to report that I have found three blemishes on my chin. I call them "blemishes" because it's a damn shame that I'm damn near 30 years of age and breaking out. WHAT THE EFF. This lovely side affect is something I did not forget and knew that my skin would turn on me once I was off the pill. I am not claiming I had a lovely complexion while taking birth control pills but I appreciated the mostly-clear face and am so sad that age has not remedied this problem. So here I am. Cramping steadily for seven days and starting to break out. But, by golly, I don't have any artificial hormones in my body! (I am muttering a bunch of curse words right now. By the way, did you know "the curse" is defined as informal menstruation? First of all, how appropriate. Secondly, what is informal versus formal menstruation?) 

I miss reading blogger and I miss writing. But from what I see, a lot of you have been MIA. What gives? Are you busy with work too? That's my main reason. And the discovery of FaceBook. What another time sucker that thing is ;)

One-two combo

Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, I got hit by the Crappy Week truck.
I worked 15 hours last Thursday. I woke up Friday morning with a crummy attitude.
Amazing how a "sentimental" mood can turn into "pissy" on a dime.
No, pissy isn't the right word. More like crummy.
I just wanted to hide from the world rather than go-get or charge it like I normally do.
Since it's my recruitment season, I still had to visit clients. Probably not the best time to visit clients. Or try to recruit them. (Although being in a pissy or bitchy mood would have been worse. But crummy isn't much better.)
I ended my day around 5:30pm. I poured a glass of wine, popped Stranger than Fiction into my DVD player and crawled into bed. I fell asleep around 7:00pm. The Man had a hard time understanding. I normally turn to him and ask him for a hug. But I wasn't depressed. I was feeling crummy and exhausted. If he had wanted to crawl into bed with me and hide from the world with me, I would have let him. But the couch where he sat wasn't good enough for that. I think he was a little hurt. I tried to explain it wasn't about him. But you know when you're in a crummy mood, explanations tend to be short. I gave up easily and retreated to bed. He came into the bedroom periodically to give me a kiss and make sure I hadn't imploded. He didn't have to worry, I was too tired to do that.
I am so tired. I have to work Sunday so I can get prepared for the week and tie up lose ends from Friday. I am tired. Yes, yes, yes, I still love my job but this is NOT the best part of it. Plus side? I recruited six clients this week. But I am exhausted!

PS: Please please please let my dress look good on me. I'm trying it on today. It would be a wonderful way to end a chaotic week. Oh please. (If it does not, expect a very ANGRY entry to come this afternoon.)

Oh PMS, why do you affect me so?

I've been sentimental these past few days. I actually missed The Man when I was working yesterday. WTF?? I was moved when I was writing my bulletin-thingee for MySpace that was dedicated to my #3, Cyn because it made me miss her. WTF? I couldn't watch anything that had to do with September 11th because within 30 seconds, I would have tears in my eyes (maybe that's normal.)
I think I may need to put a chick flick on and just have a wailing party. Isn't that horrible? I hate that there may actually be a NEED for me to just have a big fat cry fest. Why is that???
Dammit, I just want to bleed already and get this damn PMS over with!

I know Power Week is looming when ...

I cry three times today FOR NO GOOD REASON. No really -

1. At church because I was thinking about stuff to worry about since I don't understand the sermon in Tagalog (which is intentional) and I was frustrated that I'm even there when I didn't want to be but that's another entry.

2. At home because I felt like I wasn't able to communicate my feelings to my significant other who, THANKFULLY, knew that I was being "sensitive," gave me a big bear hug and told me there was nothing to cry about. Because duh, there really wasn't.

3. At a freakin' baby christening. That's right. I cried at a christening. Not a baby shower, a christening. I think I thought it was so sweet how anxious and excited all these parents were and it touched me. *Gag* right?!

I honestly CANNOT WAIT for my period to come so all this nonsense can stop.

My week

It wasn't the worst.

But it wasn't good.

Here's what put my panties in a twist:
1. Stupid people. They make my job harder and cost me a nice bonus. They make me want to buy a steel toe stiletto and stick it up their hoo-hahs.
2. Food. I eat like it's going to get up and run away.
3. Change. It's great but it causes a lot of stress in the beginning.
4. Power Week. Because every gal loves to be bloated.

Here's why I can still smile:
1. Good coworkers. They remind me that not all people are stupid.
2. Working out. I feel like I'm gaining some control b/c I'm making a real effort to have a healthy lifestyle.
3. The Man. We both had a bad work week but he still makes me laugh. A lot.
4. No More Power Week. All humankind should be thankful for that one. I was ready to start whoopin' some as$.

A few days before my Power Week

I'm bloated, my face is breaking out and I'm eating EVERYTHING like it's going to expire at midnight. TMI? Too damn bad. (I forgot to mention that I'm occasionally irritable.)

I dislike the week before and the first couple beginning days. Why? Because I eat until my belly feels tight and you can thump my tummy like watermelon. I break out like I'm a teenager with pimples that are large and unpopable (gross!) Worse, it's the time when I probably beat myself up the most about my looks, think of things to worry about in my relationship with The Man, get a little more sensitive and, basically, torture myself. But at least I don't have mood swings. (I went through three types of birth control pills until I was able to nip THAT in the bud.)

Anyhoo, other than pre-Power Week, I'm doing pretty well. I'm STILL trying to figure out how to post pictures that are unclickable so that I can post pictures of The Man and me from the New Year and any future pics. So if you know, let me know!

Oh! I finished "knit in the round." For knitting novices like me or knitting virgins ("Why, hellloo there, come here often?") that means knitting in a spiral instead of back and forth, like a typewriter. Typically, people knit with two straight needles. When I first started knitting, I was automatically introduced to bamboo circular needles-my favorite. So here is how it looked in the beginning:
I'm just knitting around and around, no purling necessary b/c knit in the round makes a stockinette stitch.

(If you aren't into knitting, dammit, just pretend you care and entertain me. On a similar note, it's funny to see The Man accept my knitting. Before, I think he was scared I was 26-going-on-70. But then he got smart and realized that this new found hobby leaves the remote control unprotected and up for grabs. Yes, I knit during football games, basketball games, and home improvement shows.)

This is where the $hit gets complicated. Or at least LOOKS complicated. I am now decreasing to make the crown of the hat. I have to introduce the double pointed needles (four=3 holding the stitches to make the triangle and 1 to knit the other 3 with) and remove the circular needles. I was concentrating so I didn't even think about how crazy it looked until I removed the circular needles. For crap's sake, look at it! It looks like three knitters got high and came up with a brilliant idea to knit one hat together.

So this is the inside of the hat. There was no need for a seam. The decrease is pretty fast (the pattern is from Stitch 'n Bitch) and then bam! I pull it together, tie and knit the ends.

When I use girlie colors like this, I like to tell The Man that the piece is for him. Before, I would get this look of terror from him b/c he knows how hard I work and that loving me means wearing the fu*king hat. But he's on to me now and calls my bluff. Darn.

Pretty bleepin' dope, yo.

Blessed be ... TGIF!

It's been a semi-rough week. I have a tendency to over analyze myself (better me than you, right??) so I'm trying to figure out why it's been an off week. Is it because I'm getting busy at work so I'm stressing out? OR is it because it's my pre-Power Week? This is what I lovingly call my monthly woman visit. In The Man's words, it's when I "cause havoc, strife and leave destruction in [my] wake." (The Man's got a sense of humor.) Maybe it's a nice combination of the two. In any case, THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!

This is my most favorite day of the week, even though it's not a completely work-free day. There's something about knowing I have an evening where I can stay up late, sleep in the next morning and then spend Saturday any way I want. Friday, I'm in Love!!