Pimp my crib

After much research, deliberation, and negotiation, we have a crib and changing table on the way for Sticky Bun. Here's the background story:
My mom called me and asked if I had visited Potterybarnkids.com. I said no because I knew our budget and it did not include the prices at Pottery Barn. Well, mom said that she and my dad wanted to buy a crib for us and that the crib would be my parents' shower gift. I had been putting off looking into big ticket items like cribs, strollers, car seats because I knew it would be quite a bit of reading (books, seller sites, and recalls) and, well, be a bit depressing when looking at the costs! But it was nice to hear my mom getting excited about SB so I followed her directions and went onto the site.
The crib was $1,000.
I told her that I love her very much, thank you, but I cannot let her throw down that kind of cash on ONE item that their beloved grandchild wouldn't appreciate anyway. Let's be honest, it's more for me and The Man. And, to be excruciatingly honest, the beauty of the crib would mainly be for me! I told her I would call her back.
I love my mama and daddy and knew that The Man and I now had to get off our asses and start to research. Because they are retired, middle class folk who should not be kickin' down that kind of money for a crib.
Research: I cracked open my book, Baby Bargains, which is not only helpful with deals but also goes into great length about safety. The Man hopped onto consumerreports.com and read all about the cribs they tested for safety and comfort ratings. From this we knew that we wanted a convertible crib: they start as a standard full-size crib, then grows with your child to a toddler bed, then a day bed and finally to a full-sized bed with headboard and footboard. We also wanted to have adjustable, four-position, metal mattress support. Yes, the crib from Pottery Barn fit the bill but we so did other cribs in the $300-$450 range.
Deliberation: The Man was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of my parents buying the Pottery Barn crib. They have helped us out so much already, especially with the house, and he just felt like it was not a need but a luxury. I wasn't that taken as aback because my parents liket to splurge every so often but I saw his point and completely agreed. But we knew we couldn't just tell her no. So we looked at all the cribs at Babies R Us and found two that we liked that met our requirements and looked similar enough to the crib my mom had her eye on.
Negotiation: I called my mom back, gave her the links and asked her to check out the cribs. I told her how The Man and I had researched and found that these cribs were not only lovely but also considered the safest for SB. She was shocked that these cribs were less than half the cost of the crib she had checked out and they were still 4-in-1 (a must in her eyes because it was more crib/bed for her buck!) My mom told me she would look at them more closely and call me back. When she did, she told me she found a crib very similar to the ones we showed her on the military shopping website. This meant no tax and no shipping cost. It was a tad bit more but still very reasonable. So reasonable, in fact, that she decided she wanted to buy the matching changing table because the two together was STILL significantly less than $1,000.
And that is how Sticky Bun (and any future baby down the road) got her crib and changing table because I'm all about hand-me-downs!


THANKS, soon-to-be-second-time-around Nana and Papa. We love and appreciate you both!

23 going on 24 months weeks (it just feels like months!)

Dear Sticky Bun,
Well, you and I are embarking into a new part of our journey. Well, this WHOLE journey is new for us both, isn't it? The weather is finally changing and it is now summer. I admit, little one, this is one of the things I've dreaded on our journey (the labor is still #1.) I'm not the best when it comes to heat but I make do. Well, add on 10+ lbs and a lack of summer yet professional work attire and I'm in a bit of a pickle. But, luckily, your Dad and I chose what is the probably the windiest part of town to live. This has been a blessing when it reaches past 80 degrees!
You started kicking more frequently two weeks ago and I am very relieved. You will soon find out that your mama worries A LOT and will always be a worrier. I wouldn't say I'm paranoid or anxious but I do have a stock load of doubt and uneasiness. I worry a lot about you. If you're growing all right, if you're ship shape mentally and physically, things like that. So I'm really glad you're kicking, elbowing or kneeing me. Just don't do that once you come out.
I'll be registering soon for your nursery and things you will need. Your nana loves herself some pastel pink. If I left it up to your nana, every cotton-pickin' thing you will own would be baby pink. And maybe you would love that. But I had to reign her in. It's one thing to dress you up in pink and frilly things. I don't mind if she dresses you up like a cupcake. I'm pretty sure I'll think you're beautiful and precious no matter what. It is, however, quite another thing for me to have to look at a nursery with pastel pink everywhere. I can just imagine myself losing my $hit at 2 in the morning because I'm sleep deprived and having to look at a girlie girl room. So I'm sad that I have yet to find baby decor that has made my heart melt. I know, it's trivial which is why I haven't really worried about it. (I would much rather worry about how you're growing and doing.) But now that I have to register, I know this is a perfect opportunity to decorate your nursery with the help of our family and friends. But I just can't find anything I like yet.
I'm unsure how I want to handle your delivery. I'm still considering a doula but your dad is certain he will be able to be a great coach. I'm hoping he will learn massage and pressure point techniques that are supposed to be helpful during labor. Any little bit helps! And between you, me and the internet, I'm a little afraid of how your dad will react to all the blood and, hmm, stuff (no point in me getting graphic, we know all about the stuff) that will come from my body during labor. Shoot, I joked with him about the mucous plug and I know he was pretty disgusted. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Because, as you will soon find out, your dad is one tough dude and very much a guy's guy. So maybe he will be able to stomach the not-so-pretty to see just how rewarding your delivery will be. Plus, from the stories he tells me about the portables at work, he really shouldn't be disgusted with anything that happens in the delivery room.
Here's to a great next 3 1/2 months, Sticky Bun. You and I are both in uncharted territory (well, for us) and I am really looking forward to when you finally arrive. Because I love you soooo much already.

To Doula, or not to Doula

I think each mama-to-be has her own process. As I've mentioned before, I am not a woman who was born to be a mom and had done preliminary research prior to getting pregnant. Meaning, I didn't know the ins and outs of pregnancy, birth and raising a child before deciding to have a baby. I drew upon information gathered from other people over the years but had not done major research like I did when writing my thesis.
Because I was in college for so long (six and a half years!) I tend examine my behavior during those years because it's still sort of how I operate. For instance, I was definitely a crammer rather than someone who got the reading done way in advance (plus, with grad school, we had so much reading that there was no chance to get ahead.) Lucky for me, I think nine months is a fantastic amount of time for me to figure a lot of things out.
Way before I got pregnant, my philosophy of giving birth was KNOCK ME THE EFF OUT. No really, I did not give a hoot about the process, I just want to wake up and have my baby next to me, ready for me to hold. When I became pregnant, I still have this philosophy. In fact, a coworker who had recently given birth was sharing her birth story with us and said she did not want to take any drugs if possible and she kept telling herself during the most painful moments that "every contraction brought her closer to the baby." And I'll be honest, I thought "EFF that, I want nothing to do w/ contractions and letting nature take its course, I want that over as quickly as possible."
Well, ladies, it looks like someone has an undercover granola side to her.
I don't feel so strongly enough about birthing methods (like one is right and one is very wrong!) to preach or judge anyone for choosing something different than the route I plan to take. I mean, I wanted to be knocked the eff out, remember? I will not judge anyone else's birthing or mothering methods because we all are just trying to do and be our best. Anyway, I've read a few books, seen a documentary, am in the process of taking several different classes and talked to those in the medical professional, those that take a more holistic approach, and very granolaesque people. I've pieced a little bit of my former beliefs along with what I've researched (I'm planning on reading one more book!) and have started to come up with a birth plan. Which in itself is controversial! I know that some people think birth plans are crap. I mean, depending on what state you're in when you're finally in labor, that plan could be torn to pieces! But if things were ideal and calm, I will have a birth plan to give to everyone and their mama when I arrive in the hospital. In addition, here are a few things that I've decided. And I fully recognize that I could change my mind because I have four more months! But so far, these are some of my requests:
1. Doula: I found one that I like but she may be on vacation in October. If she is, I don't know if I will interview more. A doula can run between $400 - $1,500. The Man said that he will respect and enforce my wishes and I could pay him half that :)
There is something comforting about having someone who has enough knowledge to be able to stand up for me to the medical staff, especially when I'm going to be at my most vulnerable. I don't view the med staff as the enemy, but because I will be giving birth in the hospital, who knows what doctors and nurses will be on duty and even if the same ones will remain on duty by the time I give birth.
2. Hospital Birth: I actually considered a home birth. I'm telling you, things freakin' change when you've got a fetus hooked up to you!! :) But in one more books (I won't plug it but if any of you want book recommendations, let me know because I like this one) after it states the benefits of home birth, it also said something like if you're not 100% sure this is what you want and if it's your first pregnancy, maybe it's not the best thing for you. Because you have nothing to compare it to and you could be very nervous. Oh heck, even though the environment sounds ideal, the thought of birthing at home makes me so nervous! So I decided that if I could and either The Man or a doula was present at home, I would try to labor as much as possible at home and then go to the hospital. Which, thank goodness, is less than five minutes away!
3. Drugs: Oh the drugs. I guess I've been around a lot more people who have the holistic approach because I've been (gently) discouraged from taking drugs. And there are great reasons not to take drugs which I will not list. I take all the information I've been given under consideration. But when it comes down to it, I'm indifferent when it comes to the epidural. I have a low tolerance for pain and I know myself enough to know that I do not want birth to be a traumatizing experience. I know, I know, women forget and that's why so many have more than one. I am going to ask the doctor if it's possible to have what I think is called an epi-light. It's when the patient can control the dosage amount depending upon the pain. If at all possible, I do not want Pitocin unless it is absolutely necessary.
4. A Natural Birth: If at all possible, I would like to avoid a C-section. I know that an epidural and certainly pitocin could very well lead to a Cesarean section. Which is why I have to think even more about the epidural. But the pain! Ahh, we'll see. And as with everything related to birth, there could be an emergency situation where I will need to have a C-section. But I'm going to try to do everything possible to avoid it.
There, of course, are many details to a birth plan but these are just the big ticket items ;)

I've also started to think about what I would like to do when the baby comes home which could be considered granola. But I'll share that later. As with how I've approached this entire new state of our lives, I'm taking baby steps. If I don't, I'll get overwhelmed and go on strike! And I'm sure the Man and Sticky Bun wouldn't appreciated that. (Fingers crossed that my potential Doula will be in town during my approximate birth time. She'll let me know on Monday.)