Thursday, November 21, 2013

Cleansing my little heart out

I can't believe I forgot to write about this experience. In September, after my sister and her family came to visit, I did a 10-day cleanse. I did it for many reasons but mainly because I knew I hit an all-time low when I had fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner one Saturday. And, not to my surprise, I hit an all-time high with my weight, post-baby.
I had friends on FaceBook who were doing a cleanse at about the same time. They got such good results! In addition to losing weight, they wrote how they feel more energetic, have less physical issues and just all-around loved it. They talked about how it was made from only organic superfoods. They talked about how it tasted good (it admittedly looks like it would taste horrible.) They talked about how it fired up their metabolism.
I needed to change my lifestyle and I sure as heck needed to help my metabolism. So I did it. It wasn't the easiest thing in the whole wide world but it was doable and I did it.
I lost 8 lbs. after 10 days.
I wished I had lost more because all of my friends lost 10 lbs. but I kind of diverted from the plan the last two days so I couldn't be disappointed with my results. They were still good. Here's the thing, though - because I ordered more of it in case I wanted to continue it, I drank the power shake here and there for the next month. I went back to eating meals but I did have a shake every so often.
It really did change the way I ate. I had initially gained 2 lbs back. I thought, huh, well, I am eating meals again so it's fine.But then I lost them again. And then I lost an additional 3 lbs bringing my total weight loss a month after finishing the cleanse to 11 lbs. I was somewhat close to my Wedding Day weight again.
So I decided to do it again, almost two weeks ago. I think why it's harder to do my 2nd cleanse is because I told myself the first time that, "it's only 10 days!" And here I go again, doing it again. I want to do it, I like how I feel when I do it, but the temptation seems so much greater the second time around! Although it has been rougher, I've stuck it out. And now I'm 1 lb. away from Wedding Day weight!
My realistic goal is to lose 5 more lbs. after that. My pie-in-the-sky goal is to lose a total of 10 more lbs. But if I lost the last 5 lbs., I would extremely happy. I've also decided to go "public" with it all. I was scared to tell people because what if I failed? Or what if I relapsed and gained it all back? But after three months, I haven't.
I decided to post it on FaceBook. I also joined the Purium group so I could introduce my family and friends to Purium and help them through their cleanse by being a cheerleader and, if possible, doing it with them. How I feel about this is how I feel about yoga. I really like it and strongly encourage people to do it! Truthfully, doing it with them will also encourage ME so I'm happy to do a cleanse with them. I've already pulled a group of friends that want to do their first cleanse on December 1st. I never got to do either of my cleanses with a group.I've already started messaging my friends with tips to help them get started right (lowering their caffeine and going decaf right before their cleanse) as well as introduced them to other people they can talk to if they have questions. I think it will make the experience a lot better. The gal who introduced me to Purium lives in Hawaii so she would text and FB me but she wasn't doing it with me. Luckily, though, I was invited to join a group on FB and reading other posts about people's success stories, temptations and gripes was very comforting.
Ummm, I didn't want to be all crazy cheerleader about Purium but I really do like this company. They helped me lose weight that was sticking to me like no other! I am also able to provide my body with really healthy nutrients and they make it so easy. I admit, I'm not hitting the gym every day and it's hard being a working mom. But they helped me do something really good for my body and made it easy. The other added benefits? I'm no longer dependent on caffeine. I haven't touched soda since September either. My allergies and eczema have also gone away (I wish I know what foods causes them.) Purium has been such a great experience.

PS: Now if I can only find a yoga studio I love in my new hometown ... I have started a weekly running date with a friend so that's a start on my physical fitness goals!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Live and learn


I just got checked.
It’s hard to hear criticism about yourself. Admittedly, it is not easy to hear it from those I love, including The Man. I try hard not to get defensive but I think about all the things I do for our family and I feel unappreciated when I hear “constructive criticism”.
But I also know that any good relationship has open communication. Marriages are one of the oldest, closest relationships that a person can be part of. I know that is merely an opinion but it’s mine. I see how a marriage can deteriorate when people stop talking to each other and stop knowing how to communicate with one another. I see how manners displayed to strangers are extended to spouses. I also understand how the person you love most can also hurt you the most so it’s much easier to harden one’s self and not allow vulnerability in a relationship.
I don’t want to be in that kind of marriage.
Funny enough, all those examples are things that I’ve done at one time or another. My marriage is considered quite young, too! We’ve been married five years and dated exclusively six years prior to that. I know that I used to be a lot more open and communicative before. I choose to not address issues or discuss my feelings as much because I want to keep the peace AKA not fight or because I just don’t want to know.
Serious.
I remember thinking, “I’m not even going to ask what the hell that was about it because I don’t want to know.” I just wanted to sleep. Or eat. Or relax. Anything other than talk because I was certain we would fight. Now, let me just say that I think I’m in a relatively healthy marriage. I love my husband so much and close friends compliment our relationship. But it certainly isn’t perfect. I would be delusional after making such statements earlier.
My point is that it’s hard to hear the not so great stuff about yourself. And yesterday I was lamenting that I didn’t understand why The Bun seemed so distant with me lately and all over her Daddy. I know he’s great stuff and he’s my favorite person tooJ But I seriously felt like chopped liver and even an innocent bystander made a joke about it a couple of days ago.
When I made a comment about it last night, The Man said that we needed to bond more. My reply was something like, “What? How could we bond more?” He responded that we don’t play. We hang out, we watch TV and when she does watch TV, I’m on the phone. So we’re next to each other, he said, but we’re not interacting.
Ouch.
But true. I’ve lacked energy lately after work and I just want to relax. It’s so easy to give into her request to put on a Disney movie and just veg out. But we weren’t having quality time. When I did have spurts of energy, I do chores because I feel guilty that the house is mess. When I shared that, The Man said, “It’s OK. Just play with her. That’s a better use of your time.”
I did get a little defensive but I didn’t say anything. I let what he said digest and knew with a minute that he was right. I think what helped was his delivery, too. I’ve often told him that sometimes he talks to me like one of his employees. I think that style has served him quite well at work but it doesn’t feel like a partner is talking to me, but a rather bossy boss. So his communication style when telling me this truly helped a lot. So much so that I wrote him a note the next day letting him know that a) he’s right b) not to give me $#*t because I said that he’s right and c) I appreciated the way he told me.
I decided this morning that we were going to play tonight, even if I was absolutely beat. I was going to summon the energy and we were going to have fun! I told her this morning that she would get to pick between making a card (her current favorite craft) or baking. She chose baking. So we’ll go grocery shopping and pick a mix that she wants to make. I’m all for making things from scratch but since she’s gotten a real independent streak, I think the minimal amount of work is best at this moment.

Yes, I got checked. But I’m glad that I was able to recognize, learn and grow from it. I want to be the best wife, mom, daughter, friend, and professional I can be. It's exhausting but I have to try my best. 
Look what The Bun was up to when I got home! Have to do a quality check when she's not looking but I'm so proud of my little girl!

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

The Bun is FOUR

Oh my goodness, where does the time go? I know, I've got to stop saying that but my baby, once so small now barely a toddler reminds me of this just about every day. 
This year we celebrated her birthday in a place we knew she would love. Admittedly, this is not mama's happiest place on earth. In fact, I'm sure I've said it somewhere on this blog that I don't care for Disneyland. I don't hate it, in fact, if it had 1/4 of the daily visitor population, I would probably love it. But it doesn't it. It's not relaxing whatsoever. They certainly did a spectacular job making it magical but the crowds really do me in. I would take a nearly deserted beach any day.
But this isn't my birthday, this is The Bun's. So away we went to the magical kingdom!
We didn't stay at a fancy hotel. My requirements were that 1) it was clean 2) had a shuttle service 3) had a full complimentary breakfast 4) Wasn't going to break the bank. The Hampton Inn did the trick!
I don't like the idea of lining Paris Hilton's pockets (in fact, I did look to see if the Hiltons still profit from the Hilton hotel chains but I couldn't figure it out in my brief internet search so I just gave up.) But this hotel got good Yelp reviews and met my aforementioned requirements.
We were all very happy with our accommodations. The staff were helpful and the rooms were nice. Nana & Papa could go with us to Disneyland but leave when they wanted to, catching the shuttle back to our hotel. Granted, the walk from the front of Disneyland to where the shuttle picked us up was a bit ridiculous for the elderly but they were great sports. Papa rented the motorized wheelchair so he could keep up and Nana even took a spin when he grew tired and wanted to rest. She drove the wheelchair just as slowly as she walked because (I think) she was terrified of running someone over but at least she wasn't exhausted.
The only thing I would change about our trip is spending more time in California Adventure than Disneyland. We only had three days and almost didn't go to CA because we hadn't covered all of Disneyland. But on our last day after lunch, we decided to check it out. So glad we did! I don't know if there are less people there or the way they build that park is to make it feel like there are less people but it was far more roomy. I could breathe a little better and not feel like I was riding on someone's heels and vice versa.
I was under the impression that CA was more adult-like but there were plenty of things for The Bun to ride and see. If we go back, we would reverse our time, spending two days in CA and then one day in Disneyland. The water & lights show, World of Color, was so beautiful! My aunt told my mom about it so we made it a point to check it out. We lucked out because we knew nothing about fast passes (didn't realize that going to D-land ten years ago made me a novice!) but found a spot we could view the show. The Bun was a bit antsy waiting the 15 minutes before it started but it was well worth it. So beautiful. I think I may have liked it more than her! Anyway, if we go back, we want to spend way more time exploring California Adventure because we only scratched the surface.
Here are some of my favorite photos:

So happy to be in the park. And gussied up in a dress her Nana almost forgot she bought! (Had to do the maternity hairband trick to make it fit but it worked!) Best of all, she felt like a princess.


A rare photo of the grandparents. They were so happy to see their granddaughter happy.

Princess Tiana? Well, we weren't going for that look but she keeps being called her so I guess we'll take it! So funny because a little girl passed us in line and said, "Hi Tiana!" and my girl frowned and said to me, "I'm not Tiana, I'm Ava!"
This was birthday dessert #1 at the Carnation Cafe. We figured it was OK for her to wear her birthday button all three days since it was her birthday celebration:)
In Tomorrow Land, there is an Iron Man area . This was the only place The Man asked we go see so we had to check it out! Here The Bun is virtually getting fitted for the Iron Man suit. Because a princess can be a super hero too.

Guess Papa also likes Minnie because he snuck in for a photo opp!:) 
The birthday girl wanted to rock a gown all three days but I only remembered to bring two. I think Nana was disappointed in me. Yes, she does own a third ball gown. Got to thank Nana for keeping The Bun fabulous.

She loved Minnie so much, we fell in line again the next day. I think The Bun wanted to take a photo with Minnie when she was dressed in her best and because it was her actual birthday:)
Loved that Mickey gave her a bow and his attendee said, "Your Majesty, we wish you a very happy birthday!"

Not sure if she knows who Daisy is but she has two friends named Daisy in preschool so she wanted a photo.
Birthday dessert #2 and #3:) (We didn't know they give a complimentary birthday dessert.) This was at the Blue Bayou next to my favorite ride, Pirates of the Caribbean. Not sure if it's a repeat because it was quite pricey but am glad we dined there for The Bun's birthday lunch.

We knew that her pal was going to be in Disneyland at the same time but we made no plans to meet up because we knew we would be busy with our families. But we ran into her, anyway! The Bun's bud is in the middle (her mom is one of my closest friends) and the little cutie on the left is her cousin. Small world, I used to work with her mom!

Wondered if there would be tears but she was perfectly fine packing up and heading home. She definitely had a great birthday
Even though vacations are no longer stress free, I have to say that this one was the least stressful. Maybe because she's older or because we chose to drive instead of fly but this trip could certainly be a repeat if she wants to go back for her birthday next year. The Man and I truly had a good time. It was so nice to spend time with her and be able to include her Nana and Papa too. I know they treasure moments like these. I definitely do. 
Our baby girl is FOUR. I was all fine and good until she told me the night we returned from our trip, "Mommy, I don't need a diaper anymore. I'm four!" And would you believe that made me cry? Of all things, THAT made me think time is about to fast forward and she would next choose an out-of-state university. (Of course, reality smacked me over the head the next morning because while she said she didn't need an overnight diaper anymore, me doing laundry first thing this morning said otherwise.) Ah, I love her so much.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Traffic Feed

I admit, I visit my own blog maybe twice a week now. I remember when I would visit it every day because it served as a homepage for all the blogs I would read. But Facebook has long since replaced Blogger as my go to for daily news on friends. and those eho arent friends but are on my feed. (Effin' FB, you seductive wench with your easy ways!)
Decided to peruse my blog since its 2:48 AM and im oretty caught up on FB. Glanced over at the live feed to see who visited. Something I rarely do now but, thanks to two glasses of wine from happy hour that are now keeping me up, Im back on my blog. Anyway, I noticed one visitor read an entry of mine from 2007. So I read the blog post.
It was about my engagement shoot and my old college roommate's wedding. I raved about our photography session (which is funny because now that we know a lot more from experiences with other photographers, it wasn't as spectacular as I once raved nor were the photos) and went into great detail about the wedding.
I used to write about so many things! I know, I know. There are too many entries in which I write that I miss writing and how I blame the ease of Facebook. Same old tired rant. But when I get a chance to read old entries, I'm floored by how much I used to write. And then I reminisce.
Got to be better about it. It's just so damn tricky to make the time.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Bun's First Day of Preschool



(Posted two weeks later)
So proud of her! She had such a great attitude in the morning. No tears from her ... Or mama! It is a much busier place than her day care but she adjusted like a champ! According to her teachers, she was reserved but friendly. And helpful! If only I can get her to be as helpful at home;)
In the two weeks she's been there, The Bun has already made two "best friends". I'm not sure if she knows what a best friend really is but the afternoon said they're very nice.
I told The Man I was concerned she would be attracted to kids that aren't very nice (I call them frenemies-kids who say they like you but than do mean things). I admit, these are the kind of kids I was drawn to when I was younger and relationships with frenemies are so unhealthy!) Especially since there was one child her day care provider said was The Bun's best friend. But The Bun would tell me at home how this child would behave and this kid sounded like a bully. I worried that she would have the same bad habit about picking friends as her mama. But these two girls she calls her friends sound like a good bunch:)
I hope she continues to have a wonderful time. Knowing The Bun is having a happy childhood makes the daily grind well worth it.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Growing, growing, growing.

2013 has brought so many changes in our lives.
I’m grateful for all the blessings my family has received. I got a great new job. Practically at the same time, we bought a home that is really fantastic for our family and in a good school district.
With all these blessings, comes change. As I grow older, I realize that with time, in general, there will always come change. I know I’ve gotten to be much more sentimental lately but getting older does this to me. I argue that becoming a parent also does this to me!
I spent 25+ years wanting to grow up so I could do things I couldn't do before. Moving up grades, going to high school, learning to drive, going to college, getting a good job … always striving to complete something or accomplish something so I can move on to the next challenge. Time didn’t feel so fast.
Now that I’m in my 30s and a mama, time just flies!
I promise, I have a point. I know I ramble like a little old lady but I’m getting there.
Today we said goodbye to The Bun’s day care provider. Monique has helped take care of The Bun since she was 4 ½ months old. It was scary, the idea of a stranger taking care of my helpless baby. So, so scary. But Monique came strongly recommended by a mom in my Mommy’s Group who entrusted two of her kids with Monique! One was only a month older than The Bun. I thought that was a pretty good testimonial.
At first, my parents (primarily my mom) watched The Bun four days a week, Monique watched her for one. As time went by, we knew we could trust Monique to take good care of her. And my parents also needed the rest because of illnesses and age. For the past year, Monique watched The Bun for three days, my mom for two. I feel so blessed to be able to have such an arrangement and blessed to have the peace of mind that my baby was well cared for.
But now she’s nearly four years old. Preschool aged. And with all those other changes like moving to and working in a different city, taking The Bun to Monique’s was also no longer convenient. It added about 40 minutes to my commute. All these factors were telling us it was time to move The Bun from a day care provider to a school setting in our new hometown. So smack dab in the middle of escrow (well, when it was looking like we were good to close), we found The Bun’s school.
We gave Monique four weeks notice because we wanted to give her that respect. This woman was part of the small village that raised the amazing little girl we have now. Just like The Man and my parents, I see little bits of Monique in The Bun’s mannerisms. So I think it’s understandable why this goodbye is a little bittersweet. This wonderful caretaker did her job and did it well.
With change also comes anxiety. Remember, I’m the one who, in addition to becoming sentimental is also filled with anxiety when it comes to change. The Bun will have exposure to so many new and foreign things to us. New teachers and lots of new classmates. Will they be kind to her? Will any bully her? Will she love it there? Will she pick up bad habits?
I think not-so-secretly, the village would love to keep The Bun in a bubble. If we could keep time exactly as it is, I think we would all be content. But that’s just not how life works. We have to roll with the punches, try to prepare ourselves as much as possible but also know that we can’t prepare for everything.
Monique doesn't own a computer so she will never find this blog. But I just want to thank her for her huge role in the Bun’s life and for being part of our village. (And if you can believe it, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Damn my age, motherhood and nostalgia:/)

Friday, August 30, 2013

Happy Birthday to The Man

“What do I love even more than being married to you? Being married to you and raising our beautiful family together. Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband.” (Thanks, Carlton cardsJ)

This card is perfect for you because it’s absolutely true.
A long time ago, I was content simply being a couple. You had other thoughts, however, and convinced me we should get a dog. So we did. Then, so that pup wouldn’t get lonely, we got another one. Piko and Pili immediately won me over. Well, Piko did. Pili won me over after she stopped covering herself in her own poop. And then they both completely had my heart when they both stopped eating poo! (My gosh, they were disgusting creatures.)
Then my dreams came true when you proposed and we got married almost a year later. I thought that was the best of the best. But then you said that our parents weren't getting any younger. How about we try getting pregnant sooner rather than later? Well, all right.
So we did. And very easily!
Our lives aren’t effortless. Sometimes it can be very hard and it can feel like we have no time. And while I fondly remember a period in our liveswhen it felt like we had all the time in the world, what we have today is beautiful. I’m so glad you had faith that we would be great parents and have more than enough love to give all our babies. Our home is filled with love, laughter … and poop.
I’m so thankful your parents had you. I’m so thankful you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. And I’m thankful you had the vision to see just how beautiful of a family we could be.
I love you.
 

Thursday, August 08, 2013

That's right, I have a blog.

These updates are far and few between. I know. It’s just so hard to make time! If you've read my blog (and since there are probably only two of you that still do, then you have!), you know it’s a pet peeve when people say they, “Don’t have time!” Lies. Well, for most people. I know I have time even though it doesn't feel like it. Many a nights I zone out and watch TV or lazily surf the internet in bed. I just haven’t felt like blogging.
But quite a bit has happened.
I’m almost done with my first month at the new j-o-b. Crazy! Can’t believe it’s been almost a month. It's crazier that it’s been more than a month since I said goodbye to my old one. Even though I spent over six years at my former employer, it was very easy to leave. I honestly had no doubt when I initially made the decision to leave but it’s good to know that even now it feels 100% right.
We're nearing towards the end of the home buying journey. I just wired over a big old chunk of change to the title company this morning. Those words actually don’t do it justice. Let me try this: I just wired a heapin’ large sum of money that I would never ordinarily see in my checking account and probably never will.
Yes, that’s much more accurate. We are scheduled to do a walk-through tonight and have keys in hand by this weekend.
I hope I grow to love it. I think I will. I wish it was what we thought our next home would be – our forever home – because the thought of going through this whole selling and buying process again makes me ill. Oh, and moving! But I think (and hope) we will be here for a while. One thing at a time, though! The next things we have to tackle: bathroom renovation, minor cosmetic repairs, one medium repair (we want to move a big L-shaped bookcase that is mounted to the wall which means patching, painting and baseboard installation), and then moving.
We have two storage units packed like a Jenga game! I'm not exaggerating, we packed those units to the hilt. And we still have our apartment to pack up. One big regret is not selling furniture to the buyers of our old home. I think we just didn’t know what kind of home we were going to get so we wanted to hold on to everything. But now we have furniture that fit a 1700sq ft home that will somehow have to fit our new home is a cozy 1400. Clearly, it's not going to happen. We have to purge but it’s tricky knowing how we want to arrange things without doing the whole trial-and-error method. It’s just very hard for me to see how things look laid out unless I actually see it. I wish I had an eye for that kind of thing.
I know, first world problems!
Well, I’ll leave you with photos of our new home. We downsized our living quarters but upgraded in terms of school district. That what I keep in mind whenever I think about how we spend more money for less of a home - it’s in a good neighborhood, in a good school district, in a city I desired in which to raise my family and just one city over from my parents’ home. Oh, and 15 minutes from my new job. Overall, I’m truly a blessed and happy gal.






Friday, July 19, 2013

Laziest term ever: "I was gonna but ..."

Which is exactly what happened to me. I planned on writing so many times but these past five (nearly six) weeks have just been crazy busy. And sure, to be quite honest, I’ve had plenty of pockets of time to write something down but I just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to get in front of our desktop which is inconveniently placed next to our flatscreen TV that, until we moved into our small apartment, I had no idea radiated so much heat. Found out pretty quickly when we suffered through a heat wave.
I spend the last few weeks of my job tying up loose ends. I thought those last four weeks would be relaxing and that I would have plenty of time to do personal things at work. While it wasn’t as chaotic as when I was going full-charge, it didn’t really slow down. I just enjoyed more of what I was going because I was meeting with my favorite volunteers, writing up executive summaries on my accounts and saying goodbye to colleagues and volunteers. It was almost a celebration of all my six years with the company. Unfortunately, it takes a person leaving for it to happen but it was nice to feel appreciated by so many people. I cherish getting to have the opportunity to breathe and say a proper farewell to those I worked so close with. Something that just never takes priority until a person leaves. I know that I’ve done it plenty of times.
Anyway, here I am. After six plus years, I’m the new gal again. I knew it wouldn’t be fun not knowing the systems and it will take a full year to understand my job and company because nothing beats firsthand experience. So I try not to be impatient with myself. But I really like being in a position in which I’m the seasoned individual offering to help. Patience, patience. Not one of my virtues yet I’m always put in positions where I need to exercise it;)
Oh yes, the home. Well, on top of everything else, we put another bid on a home. We found a town home in the area we liked. It wasn’t our dream home. Our dream home is a one story, stand alone home with 3+ bedrooms/ 2+ bathrooms, a two car garage with a driveway in a good school district. This was not in our price range. There wasn’t even a fixer-upper that met these requirements. There was also very little to even look at. We had been told by realtors that inventory would pick up in the summer. It did not.  We then came up with a list of must haves: same minimum amount of bedrooms and bathrooms, one bedroom and full bathroom had to be downstairs if it was a two story, good neighborhood and good school district. These were absolutely essential.
We attended the open house for this townhouse but wrote it off because it didn’t meet our requirements. It had a very small bedroom and only a partial bathroom on the first floor. This wouldn’t do – we needed a full bath for our parents in case they stayed with us because going up and down the stairs is becoming a real challenge. While it was a very nice home in a good neighborhood in a very good school district, we left thinking nothing more about it. Then we went to the other open houses. Pitiful. They were either beautiful homes in sketchy neighborhoods or over-priced funky homes in good neighborhoods. So we revisited the townhouse we initially dismissed. We asked our realtor if she could find out if HOA would allow us to renovate the bathroom downstairs to include a shower. (Oh, we also were looking for a home without HOA but clearly that battle was not won.) When our realtor told us that we could add a shower, we decided to take the big leap and put in an offer.
Let’s talk about that for a minute. We both liked the townhouse a lot because it had been flipped and was absolutely beautiful. But, again, it wasn’t our dream home. The Man was seriously sad about the fact it was a tandem garage because, really, unless we had two smart cars, we weren’t going to fit two cars in there. He said, “I guess I took for granted that most homes have a two car garage and a driveway.” (Our last home has a two car garage but no driveway.) The driveway is so close to our neighbors that we can literally high-five them if we reached out of our car doors. Pretty close quarters. We also didn’t like the idea of a shared wall. The Man also wanted a real backyard but, just like our old home, we got a sliver of a backyard. Truthfully, I don’t mind it because we aren’t stellar gardeners. I liked that the yard was already finished because in our last home, we never landscaped it so we never used it. Lastly, the HOA monthly fee was 89% higher than what we paid for our last home. That one is like a sucker punch. Ooof, it hurts.
You might wonder, “Why the HELL would you want to make an offer, then?!” Well, we knew that if we wanted a home in a nicer neighborhood and school district, we would have to either spend a lot more or spend about the same as our old home for a much smaller living space. This townhouse is roughly 300 square feet smaller. It’s also in a very good neighborhood in a city we desired. The school district was my first choice and the school assigned to the home is the second best elementary school in the district. The middle school is #1 and then all the kids funnel into one high school which is a pretty good high school. Yes, this is all about The Bun. Remember? And boy, it really is about location, location, location because the school district is about all this city has going for them. I mean, it’s a great town but there isn’t much to see or do. The home prices for this city are so much higher than our former residence because the school district is much better and, honestly, that does affect the appeal of the neighborhood. We used the websites, Crime Mapping & Megan’s Law, and there have been no issues. We used those same websites for our old address and the damn screen lit up like a Christmas tree.
The townhouse itself is very nice. The sellers flipped it and they did a great job. It’s quite lovely. When I showed my friends photos of the place, they said it looks a lot like our old home. But the sellers went a step further and put in crown molding, pretty hardware, a nice kitchen back splash and some other things. Other than the shower, we wouldn’t have to do much work.
After some negotiating (and by “negotiating”, I mean the sellers telling us we needed to bend over and take it. I mean, tack on another 10K to our bid) we offered the sellers 40K over asking. Please know that I don’t write this lightly, at all. I have mulled over a $50 pair of shoes for days, wondering if I really needed it, bought it and returned it because I felt so guilty. So yah, 40K over the already not-cheap asking price was something else. We both had to think about it at our work. Hubby looked at comparables in the area to see if it was a fair price while I looked at the measly inventory available and prayed. You bet I prayed. Then we talked on the phone to come together for a decision. I then called our realtor who called the sellers and they accepted the bid.
Well, that was just the start of this whole home-buying shenanigans. Oh yes, there’s more but I’ve already written so much. Suffice it to say that we are still in escrow and anticipate it will continue to be a bumpy road until the very end. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Sell low and buy high? Just PERFECT.

We found a home we really liked. It was within our price range. We knew we had to be competitive so we offered 30K over asking price, two months of free rent so they can move without rushing and 40% down.
Nice, yes? Competitive, yes?
We were promptly and aggressively outbid by a buyer willing to pay 95K over asking price and 40% down. 
Whoa.
This happened a week ago. And we still haven't found another home we want to bid on.
Worse, I posted our predicament on FB and was promptly told my multiple FB pals that this was a trend and one person saw a home go for 200K over asking price.
Wha - WHAT?!
We're renewing the lease of our apartment for four more months. That is the minimum time they will allow us to lease and we are paying nearly $900 more a month than those with 2 year leases.
What. A. Pickle.

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Happy, happy, joy, joy

I got a new job!
There, I said it. I can finally say it. Well, write it.
I have been pursuing new job opportunities for months. There were times when I came so close (like, first runner up close) only to be told that I wasn't chosen. Then there was a job opportunity that asked me, after a phone screening and two interviews, to analyze their revenue stream, propose strategies to reach their goal, and create a presentation. At this point, there were two of us left that they were considering. Because I really wanted this job, I also created a ROI (return on investment) booklet to supplement the presentation. The project was so intense that I took two days off of work to do it. A week after submitting my work, I found out that the hiring manager gave his notice. Shortly thereafter, the company admitted they needed to switch their hiring focus for his position and froze the position to which I was applying.
It has been a bumpy road.
I stopped looking for a while but, as I continued with my current employer, I realized more and more that I wasn't a good fit for the culture. I tried. Truly, I did. During my six years, it sometimes felt like it was a good fit and I was meant to be there, after all. But more times than not, it was clear I wasn't.
I know, though, that I gave it a good go. I held two positions and am thankful for the relationships I forged with those I had the good fortune to work with on a daily basis. I also know that my tenure there has shaped me into a more knowledgeable and savvy professional.
But when you know, you know.
I'm so excited for my new job! I'm nervous, too, because this is something so new and different. I don't know anyone and they don't know me. I have a lot to prove and a lot to learn. But I'm confident that it was time to make a move. Even their interview process felt right. Rather than a phone screening, 3-5 interviews, personality tests, and writing tests (which are all so common now in my field ... man, is it an employer market!), my new employer brought me in for two interviews in the span of two weeks. I first met the hiring manager and three colleagues. The next day, they contacted me and said they wanted to bring me back for a final round of interviews the following week. I then had two back-to-back 45 minute interviews. One was with three more colleagues, then the second was when the vice president and president. Then that was it!  Two days later (which was yesterday), I received an offer. In comparison to the circus shows I had been through before, this process had been unbelievably easy.
Although it was a much faster process than, say, my current employer's hiring process or the other companies I applied to, it didn't feel rushed. All the pieces seemed to come together. Remember the job opening that froze? Well, that company had used a search firm. Funny enough, the hiring manager for the position I just accepted is very good friends with the president of the search firm. When the search firm president found out I was applying, she told the hiring manager that she thought highly of me. She then asked if she could release my references to him (the job that required me to do a presentation also conducted very thorough references. In fact, it was the first time I had ever heard of requesting references to fill out a series of in-depth questions online.) My new boss ended up not contacting my references because the ones he received from the search firm were so thorough. Plus, because he was good friends with the search firm's president, her praise of me carried some weight.
My rambling does have a point. It's so true that there is a path paved for us that we sometimes can't see. It is so hard to be patient and understanding. I'm certain I constantly fail at being those two. I prayed a lot. I mean, a lot. I felt so defeated at times because I wasn't landing any of these jobs. And, in the meantime, I felt like I was floundering at work. Maybe I wasn't talented enough. Maybe I wasn't working as hard as I thought I was. Maybe I had hit the ceiling when it came to my skills and this was as far as I was supposed to go.
But then I applied to this job. And the hiring manager ends up being very good friends with the person who had interviewed me for a previous job and really liked me. And then this current job ended up having comparable pay to the job that ended up being frozen with better benefits and a long-standing and established reputation.
I'm not delusional. Work is called work for a reason. I know this place won't be perfect. But with my nervousness comes so much more excitement for this possibility. The environment seems so ... healthy! I'm really excited. I think this is going to be great for me professionally but also personally. It looks like a better work/life balance and there may be perks that we can take advantage of further down the road when it comes to The Bun's education. Did I mention that my new job is with a school?
I can't wait. God is good. My family is outstanding and extremely supportive. I am scared but so much more excited about what lies ahead.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Hope

I'm a firm believer in taking action. If I don't like something, I have to try to change it or the environment. Sometimes it's very easy. Other times, it's taking a risk and it's scary.
I'm taking action.
Here's praying and hoping!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

In a slump

I think 34 is too young to have a mid-life crisis. But today, I had a little bit of a break. Not a breakdown, per se, but wondering about some of the choices I've made in my life. I was having a normal phone conversation with my sister and, out of nowhere, I slowly dissolved into tears. Not typically my MO.
I feel absolutely blessed to have a beautiful family ... but I also feel lost. I'm wondering about my worth, contribution and talent. I remember when I was more creative. What happened to that side of me? I wonder if I've traveled a path that got further and further away from creative challenges, joyful experiences and basically things that brought happiness to my life. I acted a little in college, wrote and produced pieces in grad school, even won a writing award when I graduated and now ... nothing. I do not feel an ounce bit creative.
 As my fantastic 26 year old colleague jokes (we share many of the same trials and tribulations), "You mean you're dead behind the eyes." It's terribly dark, funny, and a little bit true. When I told her I was too old, she objected. I know I'm not, really, that I have so much ahead of me but I feel too old to be lost. I'm 34, for crap's sake. I'm a wife! And a mom. I'm a grown up. I am too old to start over. I've got a family who depends on me. I can't just up and quit and go back to school. Or spend money to find my bliss. I have to work. At the very least, I can't incur debt (expecting The Man to support the family while I spend money) to figure out what I want in life.
I worry because I don't want to be one of those people who are never happy. Ugh, definitely not that. But I'm sad I haven't been able to find joy in all aspects of my life. If I had to only pick one place to be happy, though, hands down I am so thankful to have a wonderful home life.
I'm trying to sort through things and figure out what I can do to bring some of that joy back while fulfilling obligations and responsibilities. Is it taking a writing class? Acting class? One more day of yoga? I know I need to do something.
I have to end this entry on a somewhat happier note. So I'll leave with this. I will admit, my love for The Office dulled a little after Steve Carrel's character, Michael Scott, left the show. But when The Office announced that this was its last season, I was sad. It is one of my favorite shows. And, as you may know, I love to be entertained by humor. It's a wonderful escape. The Office made me so incredibly uncomfortable at times but I had to keep watching! I wanted so badly for Pam and Jim to get together and was overjoyed when they finally did. I loved many of the characters and identified with their simple lives. Such good acting and writing. The Man brought DVDs to the hospital when I was in labor. I have vivid memories laboring with The Office theme music playing quietly in the background. And I have vague memories after giving birth (the first couple months afterwards were a blur) of breastfeeding while watching The Office.
Anyway, www.dooce.com posted a video she found on YouTube which showed The Office's bloopers over eight seasons. It is positively fantastic:
Brightens my day even when I feel a bit lost. Hope it brings you chuckles, too;)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Mother's Day

By far, the best one. From start to finish, it was the kind of day I appreciate.
We leisurely started our day, in no rush. The entire family then took a stroll to our nearest Starbucks. Here's the thing: when it's just me, I can only handle taking The Bun on a 30 minute walk. When the pups come along, there are too many bodies to look after and it isn't so much fun as it stressful for this mama. So, unfortunately, the two pups stay behind on what would have been a very nice walk for them. Sad face. More back story: The Man is not fond of walks. He says it's because he walks all day on his job, up and down stairs, ladders and multiple trips throughout the job site. When he gets home, he doesn't want to do anymore walking! But on this day, he entertained my request and went along for the walk. This meant the pups could go too. I can't explain how happy this simple trip made me. I love walks and was so happy everyone could enjoy it.
Admittedly, the trip from Starbucks back to our home wasn't as relaxed because I made the fam hustle to get back. Mama had a date with a friend to go wine tasting! I used to be a member of a wine club but, when we moved, I realized that it was better for me to end my membership because I didn't drink that much wine. It was really the easiest thing to cut out of my budget. That doesn't mean I wasn't a tad bit sad. This winery (technically, wine company but I like to call them an urban winery) is my favorite because it's only 30 minutes away and has a cool view of San Francisco. Plus the place itself is really pretty and I just feel happy when I'm there. I had convinced my friend to go there when my complimentary wine tasting benefits were coming to an end (membership had its perks) and she fell in love with it too. So my friend proposed we wine taste on Mother's Day sans children. Oh, how nice it was! The weather was gorgeous, just perfect. We sat outside, drank wine and ate a delicious lunch. This is one of my dearest friends and we have such a difficult time getting together so it was a great three hours of catching up, laughing and enjoying fantastic wine.
We parted ways happily so we could enjoy our own Mother's Day dinners. While it was great to have some grown up time away from the home, it was nice to reunite with The Man and The Bun. They were ready for dinner by the time I came home! We went to this local place that has become one of the hippest places in its small town. So hip that we waited an hour and a half to be seated. Surprisingly, I didn't really mind that. What I minded was that they seem to have outgrown their space and their no-reservations policy but don't have a system that's working for them quite yet. While I vowed to not go back for a long while (I adore the place but I need a break from their growing pains nonsense), it was fun way to end the day.
The Man topped off the day with a very nice gift. This mama also cut pampering out of the budget because it was the second easiest way to save money and, quite frankly, I don't have the time to trek out to the salon that houses my favorite esthetician and massage therapist. He asked me what I would like as a gift and I told him that I would love a treatment or two at this salon. The Man gave me a gift certificate so I can get a facial and massage. Whooohooo! I don't know when I'll be able to use it but it's really wonderful to know it's there.
There you have it. Nothing crazy, nothing over the top but it was fantastic and lovely. My hubby went a-walkin' even though it's not his favorite thing to do, watched The Bun and then treated us to a nice dinner. I'm very thankful for all my blessings.
The Bun and me entertaining ourselves while waiting for dinner.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

It's official. No, really. It's done-done.

Two days ago, we gave the keys (and garage opener remotes) to the buyers' realtor. I've been meaning to blog about it, blog about this entire experience, but I haven't found the time. Honestly, between work, moving and a toddler, my head has pretty much been up my ass.
I didn't cry. I'm so thankful, I was worried because the day after we moved to the apartment, I cried. Twice. But having a month to deal with the move - from the time escrow closed to the time we gave up our keys - so much time has passed.
I'm a praying woman. Even when I didn't go to church which I think was a little over a decade, I've been a praying woman. Well, I'm now more than ever. Strike that, I think after the tough times last year and finally finding a church we can attend as a family, my prayers have been a lot more meaningful. And specific.
While our first loan was pre-approved, our second loan was denied. And every day there are articles in the news stating how home prices continue to rise. So now we know the housing hit rock bottom and we're on an upswing. Not good for home buyers like us who can't even look yet because homes are flying off the market.
I'm thankful for our health. I'm so thankful for The Man and our strong relationship. I'm thankful to have a clever, easy-going, beautiful little girl and two adorable pups who make my days better. But I pray every day that we can get this show on the road before we get priced out of the market.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Moved. Well, to be precise, in the process of moving.

This is our first week staying at our apartment. It has a reputation for being very safe. It is also a little old. But safety first, right? It's not so bad. Just pretty dated. I could also do without the spiders. I think this has to do with it being old and the lovely trees and greenery on the grounds. Nature attracts nature, yes? I wasn't being sarcastic, though. The trees and plants make this apartment quite nice and make up for the antiquity of the apartment itself. But every day one of us is killing a spider. It's almost become a game of "Find the spider" except I really dislike spiders. So it's not so much of a game as an irritating issue. But safety first! I can deal with pesky bugs if it means my home and vehicles aren't going to be effed with.
I admit it, the first day spent at this apartment, I cried. Up until this point, I had very little emotional attachment of our home. I appreciated it and adored it but I hadn't shed a tear during this entire process.
I found myself getting very sentimental. We had a beautiful first home. Truly.
I've learned that home really is where the heart is. At the end of the day, I want to be where The Man & The Bun are which is in this very cozy (I'm learning the code words in real estate. Cozy = tiny, historic = old, etc.) apartment.
I pray we've made the right decision. I think we have but this whole housing market is like gambling. It's next to impossible to sell high and buy low. What we hoped to achieve was to buy sell low and buy low. But every day the damn news is talking about how housing prices are going up. I try to pep talk myself and say that's what they were reporting when we were selling our home and we still had to sell for less than what we bought. My pep talk also includes the fact that while we sold $10,000 less than what we bought, it is far less than what we would have paid for rent these past four years.
I have so many memories of our family's first home. But I felt compelled to save the photos my realtor  took, just so I can remember how blessed we were. Still are. And pray that we will find the perfect home for us. Permanently, I hope. Because moving is a pain in the ass. (Yes, I realized I talked about praying and uttered "ass" in the same paragraph but it's who I am - a flawed yet spiritual individual. So. Yah.)










It was such a sweet home, all nice and new. I look at these photos and think, "My gosh, our home was beautiful." I don't think we took it for granted but, as we were moving, I became nostalgic. In the end, though, it wasn't for us anymore. We have to find a home that is suitable for our aging parents, nearly school-aged daughter ... basically, a house/condo/whatever we can call our forever home. Truth be told, though, when I kept hearing how home prices are going up, I told The Man that we should eff it - take the money we got from the sale, move to Hawaii and live in an apartment there. Shockingly enough, he did not find this to be a viable solution.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Ups, Downs, and All-Arounds of Escrow

Oh wow. It's been quite a journey and we're not scheduled to close until March 27th.
What makes me cringe even more is knowing that this is just the FIRST half of our journey. After we move into an apartment, we will be going into the second phase as buyers.
I want to crawl into bed and pretend I don't have to do anything. Instead, I'm writing this entry. So sort of the same thing.
A week or so after we accepted the offer from our buyer, they must have just looked at the paper work we submitted. Why it took so long for them to get the paperwork, I have no idea. Anyway. They freaked out when they saw we had been burglarized. In fact, they cancelled the inspection that was scheduled for that day so they could review the police report. And request from us a letter stating what had happened.
Oh hell. Our realtor said that we should be OK but needed to hear back from the buyer's realtor. We were so nervous. What if they backed out? Luckily, they read the report and our statement and felt better - no violence, no damage. Just some stolen items. Sucks but they could deal with that.
Sale still on. Phew. We rescheduled the inspection and all is good. The home is almost five years old and is in great shape. They're happy, we're happy.
Then came the appraisal. No problem, we thought.
Son of a biscuit. The appraiser valued our home 15K less than the price we listed it. That means our home is about 65K less than what we paid. This threw all sorts of sh*t into the fan yesterday. The sellers freaked out, causing us to freak out,  then they changed their offer to 20K less than what we all agreed upon AND were no longer offering to let us stay 30 days rent free.
Confused? I was. I thought they were pissed at us because they thought we knew our home value was less than what we listed it. Hell, I thought we were listing it at a stupid low price and come to find out, it's worse.
I couldn't sleep last night. I thought, what the hell did we sign papers for if everything was going to change with the appraisal? In fact, our contract STATED that it was regardless of what the appraisal was. I'm still confused but I think I mostly get it:
So, even though they are now getting the house 20K less than what they originally bidded, the buyers are paying 5K more out of pocket because their loan will only cover what the house is appraised for. That's why they took away the one month rent free because they were fronting 5K more out of their pocket. Even though they are buying the home for 20K less than what they originally offered. My realtor said that they must really want our home because they are essentially paying 65K above the value of the home.
Of course, how I see it, is that we're now taking a 10K loss. But, since we listed it at a 50K loss, we still feel very fortunate. And yes, blessed. Our realtor said that our buyers are offering 40% down which is very competitive and helps us when we turn around and become buyers ourselves.
If you follow all this, good for you. You are clearly a smart cookie. I have a very nice realtor who explained this to me and then answered my many questions because I didn't quite understand why sh*t changed after the appraisal when we all signed the contract. As well as why they were taking away the 30 days rent free. I saw it as they were getting the home 20K cheaper. They saw it as an additional 5K they had to immediately shell out. How sad that both parties feel S-O-L.
If you can't tell already, I find the business of selling and buying homes very confusing. And extremely frustrating. My FaceBook status update last night was, "Escrow is fickle hag." I knew stuff could go down, like loans not being approved but there is a lot that can go wrong and/or change during escrow. I also appreciate my realtor more because I know she and the buyer's realtor are working hard on making this all work.
My realtor paid me a compliment, saying that I should think about becoming a realtor because I have the personality for it. Funny enough, The Man said the same thing the day I was showing our home all day. I take it as a compliment because I think you have to be very patient, smart, savvy, persuasive and persistent to be a successful realtor. But it is definitely not my calling. I don't have the patience nor do I want to work the hours that they do. They have to show homes after work hours and on the weekends in addition to all the paperwork and negotiation they do with realtors, lenders and brokers. I know I'm a problem solver but there are way too many unknown factors and too many things that could go awry for my comfort. Everyone thinks it's all good and then BAM. Something comes out of left field to muck it all up. I can only imagine how it must be with older homes. No, thank you. What a headache. I do have a new found respect for the good realtors, though. Like mine. And, even though I have limited interaction, I think the buyers' realtor is good, too.
Now we are figuring out how we can move in the next four weeks. The buyers agreed to give us two weeks after escrow closes. We have to find a storage unit, a two bedroom apartment that allows dogs, moving company and time to pack up all our crap sooner rather than later. Somewhere between working demanding full-time jobs and a three year old who rightfully demands attention when we're all home.
That last part is the reason why I want to crawl into bed. Or procrastinate by updating my blog.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Thanking God

As you know, we are selling our home. I felt guilty for asking so much in my prayers: for us to sell our home at a good price, for my parents to do the same and for us to then buy a good home at a good price. But many folks told me that I must be specific in my prayers. So I prayed for it all in addition to praying what I always pray for-good health, happiness and prosperity for all my loved ones. I felt like I was asking for so much.
Well, exactly one week ago and six days after our home went on the market, my realtor called me saying we received a very good offer. (Two days after we showed our home for one day by appointment only). Remember how we listed at a 50K loss? The buyer offered to pay 60K above the asking price. This means we will break even because the additional profit will cover all the taxes, fees and other costs. The buyer also offered to let us stay one month rent free after escrow.
We feel so blessed. We were disheartened when our realtor first suggested we list lower than what we paid. We understood, however, it was what we needed to do to be competitive. Bigger homes in our neighborhood recently sold for close to that price. We trusted in God that it would all work out and we hoped to recoup some of the loss when folks started bidding. We never expected, though, to sell over the price we paid!
We still have so much more to go through with this sale (we're officially in escrow!) and everything else before finally getting into a new-to-us-but-not-new home. I'm still in awe, though. And so thankful.
Oh, and buyer IS one of the families we fell in love with! They are the initial couple who reminded us of ourselves when we were younger and fresher:) We know it shouldn't matter but we are very pleased it's them. The Man and I already agreed we were going to make this home as nice as possible before we leave and deep clean it so they don't have to worry about it.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Hello, First Time Buyer. My name is First Time Seller. Come and check out my house.

I'm a SUCKER for new families!
I know next to nothing about selling a home. When we bought our first home, our current home, we bought it directly from the builder. Yes, we were/are very blessed to have our very first home be brand spankin' new. Here's the thing: we looked at homes in the same price range in better school districts but they were fixer uppers. How appealing is it to look at a brand new home for the same price in a not-good school district? Very appealing when your child is in the womb.
Here were are, though, with a child who is one year away from being school aged and it is a very big deal to be in a good school district. Not to mention the burglary that happened earlier this month. Couple those together and we're putting our home on the market.
Let me tell you, the entire thing is a mind eff. How? OK, it's twofold. First, listing the home in the current market. Our realtor ran a comparison and, unfortunately, we have to sell our home at a loss. Thankfully, not short sale but a good chunk of change less than what we paid for. Big old bummer. We still built up equity (I think that's the correct term) so yay us. We are optimistic because there is a low inventory of houses making ours pretty desirable. Here's where the mind eff is: although there are a low inventory of homes, this does not drive up the price of our house. You think it would be because of the comparison and what people are buying at the price points they are buying at, our home still needs to stay competitive and list 50K less than what we paid.
Ouch.
Our first home is pretty spiffy.
Second mind eff: We are obviously currently living in the home we are trying to sell. A benefit to having a market with low inventory is we can set the parameters of when we show the home. We decided to open our home for one day, all day, by appointment. We showed our house 26 times. Yes, that's right - I showed my house to 26 realtors and potential buyers. We hid all our clutter and made the house look as bare and nondescript as possible. In addition to clutter like laundry and toys, we put away all our photos and anything sentimental or personal so people could imagine their stuff in this home.
I mentally prepared myself for people to be pretty critical of the home because, after all, it's a big purchase. And, I'm sure you've done this because we certain have when attending an open house, I was ready to hear people rip apart the layout or condition of the home. Can't take it personally, right? But everyone was so nice. They were all so complimentary of how we took care of our home and couldn't believe we had a three year old! Little do they know we also have two dogs ... we kept them in the garage while showing the home so I think they thought we always kept them outdoors. Hehehe. What was also nice was that almost all the realtors complimented us, as well, and said we did a great job making it "show ready."
It's funny what will make a person feel better but these compliments did make me feel good. We tried very hard to keep our home nice. It is pretty difficult with two dogs and a toddler. Frankly, it's hard with just a couple of adults! The whole selling of our home is stressful because of the uncertainty so it was just nice to hear people so complimentary. I mean, I'm not delusional. I know people had critiques. But they were nice enough to murmur them to their realtors or wait until they were outside before stating them.
I went off on a tangent. So the mind eff. In showing my home 26 times, I chose to escort them all rather than letting them all run free because we still had valuables and I was extremely uncomfortable letting people roam around unchaperoned. Well, people ask questions and I answered them all truthfully. Most of my answers were extremely complimentary of the home itself as well as my neighbors and the neighborhood. This, along with folks saying really nice things about the property, could really twist a person's thoughts about selling. I mean, why are we moving? This is a corner lot with plenty of privacy, parking, lots of light, nearly new appliances and minimal wear and tear. Why would I move?
I could almost hear the thoughts of these potential buyers, thinking "Do you know what's out there? Do you know how many homes we bid on and lost? Are you actually going to sell this place and put yourself in our shoes? What the hell's the matter with you guys? It SUCKS being a buyer right now!" AND THEY'RE RIGHT!
I lied, there's one more mind eff and it's exactly what I just mentioned: We will go from being a seller to a buyer and it is not fun. While the percentage rates are low (yay!) so is the inventory. We are going to be bidding against people who can pay all in cash. We are going to have a heart broken several times before we find "the one." I know, I should visualize positive thoughts and pray for positive things. And I do! But the realistic side of me can't forget how difficult it was for us in 2009 when we were looking at pre-owned homes. It's even harder now. I also don't know of anyone who got the very first home they fell in love with and put an offer on. But there's always a first, yes? Yes!
I told The Man this is why even though I was tired of giving tours and accepting appointments (our realtor was shocked I had 26 appointments and thought that we would get half that, max) that I did it anyway. Yes, I figured the odds of a good offer would increase the more I showed the home. But I also did it because I know we're going to be on the other side, too. I want people to be kind to me and open their home to me when it's time for us to buy a home. It sounds simple but there are plenty of a-holes out there. Just recently we encountered a jerk of a realtor when looking at a home. Poor home owners, I don't know if they realize how much their realtor deterred folks from putting in an offer. (We were semi-serious but, due to our interaction with that realtor, decided to wait and look at what else is out there. Plus, we need to sell our home first to see how much we have to work with.)
Oh! And the families that checked out our home! I fell in love with three of them but liked just about everyone who viewed our house. I told The Man that I wish I had Oprah-money because everyone who came would get a house. "You get a house! And you get a house. And you two, you can have a house too!" There were a few who opened up at the end and said they had been looking for months. Or that this will be the sixth house they put a bid for. One adorable couple came back a half hour later, apologizing for the inconvenience (it was OK, though because I had a break between appointments) and asked what they could offer additionally to be a desirable bid. Were we interested in renting back while we looked? Were we looking at only cash? They really liked our home and wanted to be seriously considered. They looked nothing like us but The Man and I saw ourselves in them. They were us when we were looking at homes in 2009. That is, we thought they were younger versions of us because we remembered what it was like to be excited about a home and want to be home owners already. They wanted to start a family! They truly reminded us of us ... until the last couple came. Oh boy, did they remind us of us;)
The last couple was also very excited about our home and shared that they were expecting a baby in August. The husband was wearing his PG&E gear and apologized for being in his work clothes. The Man asked, "Are you an electrician?" to which the husband replied, "No, I work with gas." But The Man was still taken by this couple because this couple was exactly us in 2009. The husband is a blue collar worker and, like The Man, very respectful and a little on the quiet side. The pregnant wife looks nothing like me but I was two months pregnant when we looked at homes. The Man remembered wanting us to be all settled in before I gave birth. They were one of the families that shared they had been looking for a while and the wife jokingly but not jokingly said, "Yes, please consider us! This baby needs a home."
Well played, girlfriend. I would have said the exact same thing;)
When it comes down to it, we will of course take the best offer. But, my goodness, my heart goes out to all these families who just want a nice home in a nice neighborhood. The young families reminded us so much of ourselves and, I'm telling you, I wish I had the money to give out homes left and right because just about everyone was so very nice.
Here's praying and hoping for an outstanding offer. Then praying we, too, find a good next home.

Monday, February 18, 2013

It's starting...

Today we sign the listing agreement. The realtor will also take photos of our home to post when we list. It's funny. We got rid of quite a bit of clothes and some electronics to start the moving process. But we still have a bunch of stuff. To prepare for the photos today, we're playing, "hide the clutter" in order for our home look appealing!
I'm doing my best to trust all will work out. But here are the anxiety-ridden questions consuming in no particular order:
- Where do we hide all our valuables and important docs when we have to have an open house or show it? I don't want people snooping in our home or potential burglars casing out our home! (Paranoia that may or may not be influenced by recent events...I'm a worrier by nature.)
- How are we going to pack while make the house look show-ready? We can't!:(
- We still need to find an apartment to live in that will rent month to month. I hope this doesn't deplete our funds.
- Looking at what we can afford to buy that's in our budget. It's looking bleak. We knew we would have to downsize because we were looking to spend less money and move to a better school district. But even condos are not meeting our budget. This means looking into the boonies.
- I don't dislike the boonies but what about my parents? While they operate independently, they are slowing down a lot. They need help driving far distances and places unfamiliar to them, even if close by. Also, The Bun sees them at least twice a week. They will see her (and us) far less if we move an hour away. I worry about them. Feels like they're aging so fast now
- The particular boonies we are looking at is nice. But so far from family and friends. I'm a Bay Area girl to the bone. Born and raised. I love it here. But its looking like we can't afford it here.
- We're selling at a loss. But that's because it's the time to buy with prices and percentage rates being low. But it's also a buying frenzy. Bids are being declined because people have cash! What if we don't find anything nice we can afford? Or, the few times we do, we are outbid and then prices go up in the meantime? A fear - we sell at a loss yet are unable to buy while prices are low so they end up creeping back up so we end up SOL.
Well, I'm glad I got those aired out and out of the way. I hope! Want to know something sad? These are just the worries I have pertaining to our home. There are many others regarding trying to have another baby and what should I do with my career. Oh lawd. Anyway.
I pride myself in being a doer. With the exception of losing weight (my Achilles' heel!), I'm a woman of action. I hate being the person who complains but does nothing. It's a pet peeve. I joke at work that this is what makes me a great worker bee. I think that it's a great balance to the part of me that doesn't like change. This way, I'm not paralyzed by fear. But, as I've mentioned before, I'm uncomfortable with and somewhat scared of change. I'm trying to shift my frame of thinking and not be so anxious. That its OK to trust in God. Thats its GOOD to do this, in fact. Quite frankly, that I'm not being an idiot for not having a plan in place. See, that's a real issue for me. I fear that a lot. Or for being too daring, biting off more than I can chew and then it all blowing up in my face.
Trust, trust, trust. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm so scared but I'm wishing and praying I can turn it into excitement. Most times, I do! Above all, I have to remind myself this: I'm so thankful for my family. the Man is so wonderful. The Bun is an angel. She is truly heaven sent. Our little family are my heart and soul. My parents are the most supportive, generous and loving people I know. I want to do right by all of them.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

We're doing it

We're putting our house up for sale.
It's a scary decision. As I've mentioned time and time again, I don't like change. After having a baby, I find comfort in routine and schedule. Before, I didn't necessarily think change and risk were synonymous.
I miss that part of me.
Well, I'm out of my comfort zone. There's no real plan. We don't even have a place in place for when we sell the house because the current market doesn't favor bids that are contingent upon selling another house. Buyers offering money (even if its less than the asking price) are preferred because they're a sure thing versus people like us who need to sell our home in order to have money to buy. We will most likely have to move twice. Once to an apartment and then one more time when we find a home to buy. Of course, there are the other significant factors like extending offers to multiple homes because it will take a while before ours gets accepted. I wish our first bid to our first choice would be it but I don't know of that happening to anyone!
Ah, I remember how I fell in love with a home only to find out it just wasn't meant to be. I felt so silly to let an inanimate object break my heart!
But I'm trying to channel that old part of me who just did it and trusted all would fall into place. The person who welcomed and was even excited about change! I never ever saw myself as a "risk taker". I think the best way to describe that old me was a semi-high strung gal who went with the flow;) I hope to be this person again. I'm certainly working on it!
I also know that all of this is bigger than me. We can't ignore that this burglary feels like a sign. We had been talking for months about moving and how we wanted to eventually but The Man and I dreaded all the work that would go along with this huge decision. So we did nothing. Then we finally checked out a house for sale, just to see. But I don't think we would have done more. Then we had a home invasion.
I may not like change but we definitely got the hint.
We've been going to church and I've been so happy. We've been happy! It feels beyond good to have God in our lives and introducing God into The Bun's life. So I keep telling myself  we have to trust in him. This burglary was undeniably a huge nudge for us and we are moving forward.
This is a very new adventure for us that I'm trying to view as exciting, not scary or cumbersome. Here we go!

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Burglarized

I'm not sure what to write. I know I don't want to go into great detail just because it's depressing.
Our house was burglarized yesterday afternoon. We have an alarm system, a very loud one at that, and two yappy dogs. But they still hit up our house.
I'm thankful they didn't hurt or kill our pups. I tell you, when The Man told me to come home immediately, I was so worried about our furry babies. Then, of course, are our belongings and memories. I'm thankful that, while our alarm didn't stop them from intruding, it did cause them to move fast and be in and out in two minutes. They took what they could shove into their pockets or bag and was easily carried while they jumped our fence.
Ironically, The Man and I have been talking about moving to another city because The Bun would be starting school next year. We contemplated staying in our current home and paying for private school or moving to be in a better school district. I was apprehensive about moving because, while our school district is the pits, we are blessed with a nice new home in a good neighborhood. If we were to move, we can only afford an older home that would need repairs. Plus, I've become more reserved when it comes to change.
It appears that we are being not-so-softly nudged into considering a new place to call home.

Saturday, January 05, 2013