Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's over. It felt like we JUST put the tree up. Well, we kind of did.
I love the holidays. And while this year flew by I loved it just the same. The Bun was showered with love. And I don't mean with just gifts (although my hand hurts from all the thank you notes I had to write on her behalf.) It was so nice seeing everyone in the holiday spirit. Sure, there was some times when I was stressed out but, over all, it was a great Christmas season. The one thing I would change? That my parents aren't getting older. Although I was in no way shape or form ready to be a parent 10 years ago, I wish my parents were a bit younger so they could enjoy even more their time w/ The Bun. And, selfishly, so that they would be here a lot longer.
Seeing my parents w/ The Bun is really something. It warms my heart and makes me appreciate them so much more. Sure, sometimes they criticize my parenting (and you bet that I snap back) but I know it's out of love. They love her sooooooo much. Their love is almost unbelievable. It's so strong that I want her to have it around for a good long time. Of course, they are also pretty upstanding parents to me. And I'm grateful that their love has now included The Man. I'm so thankful and blessed.
There you have it. I'm sure my parents have no idea how much I appreciate them. Well, OK, that's not necessarily true. They have some idea because I try to show it and tell them as much as possible. But still, they probably don't have an idea of the extent of my gratefulness to them.
And The Man! He's so great. You know, I actually think he would make a good stay-at-home Dad. We joke about it but in all seriousness, I think he would be pretty damn good. But seeing how he's the bread winner, that's not going to happen. Poor guy, I think he missed his calling.
Anyhow, I know I'm veering off topic. I feel blessed. I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I pray every day and thank God for all my blessings and I try to be a good person. I know I fall short on many occasions but I think my New Year's resolution is going to be that I try harder and that I be more grateful.
Oh, and yes, of course I would like to drop 20 lbs. but I'm concentrating on my deeper resolution :)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Contentment ... unachievable?
When The Man and I were dating, he said he didn't think I would ever be content. I always wanted something more. I have to say, though, that when we moved into our home and had our baby, I was pretty darn satisfied. I didn't want for anything.
Then I went back to work. I realized that I did want something more. I wanted to grow. I think of work as an extension of my education. I was in school for what seemed to be forever. And when I got a job, I knew that I saw advancement as being the same as moving onto the next grade or degree. I know it's not the same thing but that's how I view it.
And now I've been doing the same thing for almost four years. I'm ready for a change but I don't know if it's possible in the same organization. And I'd like to stay in the same organization. But I feel pigeon-holed. I thought about going back to school for certain courses that pertain to my profession. But with a baby, it's not feasible. I mean, it's certainly doable but I don't think it's fair to The Man. And there's no guarantee that it will lead to career advancement.
So I view the rest of my life. I'm very happy. I have a great marriage, a great kid and great family and friends. Seriously, all that is great. And I wonder if it's selfish or unreasonable to want a great career too. I mean, when does the wanting stop?! Am I never satisfied? That would be a sad thing. So that's why I focus on other points of my life because I'm so very grateful. If things switched around and I had a great career but wanted more in my marriage, child, family and friends, I would be seriously depressed. So ... do I need a good smack in the rear? Or is it OK that I feel this way?
I'm not depressed about my current situation. As I mentioned, I'm grateful for my wonderful family, home and personal life, in general. But I would like to have career growth and I would like my opportunities to expand. (I won't go into detail about what I've done to try and do this because discussing the j-o-b is crossing a line I'm not willing to cross! But know that I've made attempts that for one reason or another haven't come to fruition.)
I am blessed in so many ways that I feel selfish for not being content. I'm not rich by any means but I don't want to be like a lottery winner lamenting that he wished he won the megamillion jackpot. Anyway. It's late. And I'm babbling. I just wanted to share this with the one or two people that still read this :) Oh, by the way, Cyn. I tried to comment two different times on your last entry and I don't think it went through. But I swear I'm reading!
Then I went back to work. I realized that I did want something more. I wanted to grow. I think of work as an extension of my education. I was in school for what seemed to be forever. And when I got a job, I knew that I saw advancement as being the same as moving onto the next grade or degree. I know it's not the same thing but that's how I view it.
And now I've been doing the same thing for almost four years. I'm ready for a change but I don't know if it's possible in the same organization. And I'd like to stay in the same organization. But I feel pigeon-holed. I thought about going back to school for certain courses that pertain to my profession. But with a baby, it's not feasible. I mean, it's certainly doable but I don't think it's fair to The Man. And there's no guarantee that it will lead to career advancement.
So I view the rest of my life. I'm very happy. I have a great marriage, a great kid and great family and friends. Seriously, all that is great. And I wonder if it's selfish or unreasonable to want a great career too. I mean, when does the wanting stop?! Am I never satisfied? That would be a sad thing. So that's why I focus on other points of my life because I'm so very grateful. If things switched around and I had a great career but wanted more in my marriage, child, family and friends, I would be seriously depressed. So ... do I need a good smack in the rear? Or is it OK that I feel this way?
I'm not depressed about my current situation. As I mentioned, I'm grateful for my wonderful family, home and personal life, in general. But I would like to have career growth and I would like my opportunities to expand. (I won't go into detail about what I've done to try and do this because discussing the j-o-b is crossing a line I'm not willing to cross! But know that I've made attempts that for one reason or another haven't come to fruition.)
I am blessed in so many ways that I feel selfish for not being content. I'm not rich by any means but I don't want to be like a lottery winner lamenting that he wished he won the megamillion jackpot. Anyway. It's late. And I'm babbling. I just wanted to share this with the one or two people that still read this :) Oh, by the way, Cyn. I tried to comment two different times on your last entry and I don't think it went through. But I swear I'm reading!
Friday, December 17, 2010
What happened?
I heard today that blogs are dying and it's primarily because of social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
My blog barely has a pulse.
I used to get irritated when people said, "I don't have time to _____" (fill in the blank) because I thought, "No. You're choosing not to MAKE time for ______."
I stand by my irritation. I still think it's true. And I admit, I haven't made time for blogging. Because it's so much quicker to write a one sentence update and upload a photo than it is to sit and think about stringing together several thoughts. Plus, I have many more friends and family on FB than I do on this. Sure, it's an open blog but I don't freely give my address to everyone. If they stumble upon it, fine. But they would be hard pressed to located it.
Anyway.
It's my favorite time of the year. And for whatever reason, I haven't really made the time to enjoy it! I remember the last time I felt this way was when I was at a job I didn't like and it drained all my energy. I don't know what it is this year. I suppose it's going to a wedding the first weekend of December and then it was my birthday weekend last weekend so we went out. But still, I don't know where the time goes.
But finally, FINALLY, the tree is up. For some reason, that seals the deal for the Christmas vibe. At least, for me. We had wreaths up but it just wasn't complete without the tree.
I love this time of the year. The Bun is old enough to hopefully enjoy it too. The Man asked for a demotion at work so he's leaving and coming home at a decent hour. Best of all, he's in a good mood and a lot less stressed. I know, it sounds funny that he would ask to be demoted but I worried about his health and basically well-being. While he was a good enough man to leave any frustration at work, he still carried a lot of that stress inside of him. And he was working crazy long hours and missing out The Bun's "firsts" of things like crawling up the stairs.
Thankfully, he was able to request a demotion and still have a job. And I'm thankful to be employed too. Our lives will never be perfect but I'm so very thankful for everything we have.
OK, so I've got to jet and get the baby ready to go. So no proof reading or anything! See? That's why I have a problem w/ blogging. I know that it's going to tick me off when I look back and see errors or wish I had written a thought a different way.
But my blog still has a pulse.
My blog barely has a pulse.
I used to get irritated when people said, "I don't have time to _____" (fill in the blank) because I thought, "No. You're choosing not to MAKE time for ______."
I stand by my irritation. I still think it's true. And I admit, I haven't made time for blogging. Because it's so much quicker to write a one sentence update and upload a photo than it is to sit and think about stringing together several thoughts. Plus, I have many more friends and family on FB than I do on this. Sure, it's an open blog but I don't freely give my address to everyone. If they stumble upon it, fine. But they would be hard pressed to located it.
Anyway.
It's my favorite time of the year. And for whatever reason, I haven't really made the time to enjoy it! I remember the last time I felt this way was when I was at a job I didn't like and it drained all my energy. I don't know what it is this year. I suppose it's going to a wedding the first weekend of December and then it was my birthday weekend last weekend so we went out. But still, I don't know where the time goes.
But finally, FINALLY, the tree is up. For some reason, that seals the deal for the Christmas vibe. At least, for me. We had wreaths up but it just wasn't complete without the tree.
I love this time of the year. The Bun is old enough to hopefully enjoy it too. The Man asked for a demotion at work so he's leaving and coming home at a decent hour. Best of all, he's in a good mood and a lot less stressed. I know, it sounds funny that he would ask to be demoted but I worried about his health and basically well-being. While he was a good enough man to leave any frustration at work, he still carried a lot of that stress inside of him. And he was working crazy long hours and missing out The Bun's "firsts" of things like crawling up the stairs.
Thankfully, he was able to request a demotion and still have a job. And I'm thankful to be employed too. Our lives will never be perfect but I'm so very thankful for everything we have.
OK, so I've got to jet and get the baby ready to go. So no proof reading or anything! See? That's why I have a problem w/ blogging. I know that it's going to tick me off when I look back and see errors or wish I had written a thought a different way.
But my blog still has a pulse.
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