Last day of maternity leave

I loved being on maternity leave. These were simple yet beautiful moments in my life that I will treasure. If you know me at all, you know I don't believe in just writing about the good times. Sometimes, during certain hours of a day, I was frustrated and wished I was somewhere else. But it never lasted very long. Even the times when it was/is in the middle of the night, the feelings of frustration didn't last too long. I wish I blogged more just so I could remember (my memory is terrible) but then I wouldn't have been in the moment. I didn't even FaceBook too much just because I would have to stop what I was doing, upload the photo, crop and then caption it. I did it here and there but not as much as I thought I would.

It's not good to love material objects, I know, but I love my iPhone. I was able to easily capture moments. I love that I can upload them to my photo website as well as FB and here (although, again, I have to make more of an effort so it didn't always happen.) Don't get me started on the fact that there is an app for everything. I used it to know when I last fed The Bean as well as which side:) I also used an app to track my exercise because I like checklists and it felt good to see how many times I got my butt outside and walked. But the best part, for me, are the photos.

It feels like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. We had so many firsts recently - The Bean's birth and then The Bun starting TK - her introduction to real school. And now I'm ending my maternity leave and going back to work as a mother of two. It truly feels like a new endeavor.

My eldest is 5 years old. Five! The Bun is growing up so fast. She is so beautiful, fierce and fragile.  She will be the only daughter I will ever have. And then my son, my new(-ish)born ... I can't believe I am 35 years older than him. And that he is my last baby. He is the only son I will ever have. It's surreal to think of 'them or our relationships like that but it's true. Being their mom is the most important, hardest, most thankless and yet, the most very special job I will ever have.

I wanted to include photos I found on my photo stream during my maternity leave that I hadn't included in older posts. All these small and lovely moments over the past four months:

Can you see my tears? One of the most poignant moments in my life was being introduced to my baby as soon as I delivered him.

My babies together. Loved that The Bun was allowed to visit and meet her baby brother the day he was born. She stayed with Papa while Nana & Daddy were with me for labor.

The Man & his mini-man.

This makes me laugh. Truly his Mini!

So small.

The Best big sister ever. She loves him to pieces.

Speaking of sisters, MY sister hooted and hollered when I posted this photo on FB so I had to include it here. She said that they will have to reenact this photo when The Bean turns 21.

Papa, my Dad, is the Baby Whisperer. He has a way with them. (Full disclosure: When the babies do get fussy or, in the Bean's case, hollers, yells and screams, Papa hands the baby off to my mom who has to deal with the the detonated bomb:)

This girl loves stickers and jewels. Craziness ensued when someone gave her jeweled stickers! Love her free spirit and daring style<3

Yet another photo of The Man and his Mini-Man.

I think that my pregnancy was still fresh in her mind. In addition to putting on a Tinkerbell costume just for the fun of it, she put a stuffed animal in her dress (you may be able to see the feet dangling) and completed the look with a phone. To set things straight, I'm hardly ever talking on the phone in front of her. Texting and surfing the 'net - guilty. But I'm not much of a phone person these days.

I didn't take this one. It was a pleasant surprise in my photo stream because I didn't even know The Man took it. But look how beautiful The Bean is here! Why I can't stay frustrated for very long. This face gets me every time. Especially when he breaks out a grin. I turn into a softie.

Flashbacks of my childhood from this photo. Papa taught me how to ride a bike. He was guiding her here ... our yard is more like a yardlette - teeny. Too tiny to learn how to bike. But The Bun still had a good time.

The pups have been good sports. They are having to share the love yet again!:\ Thank goodness they have each other. Pili didn't want to pose for this but, again, she is a good sport.

My friend had twins just a few months before I had The Bean. Here is one of them playing next to him. I hope that he and the twins become best buds.

Our little girl's first school function - Fall Festival! I've felt like a parent pretty much from Day One but I haven't felt like an "Older Parent" until we had a kiddo in school. Drop offs, pick ups, homework, Parent/Teacher conferences - I really feel we've hit a new stage in our parenthood.

Arguably, one of the best photos I took during my maternity leave. This photo was probably one of the most popular ones of the photos I posted on FaceBook. It basically shows the awesomeness of The Bun in her love for The Bean (and how good of a listener she is.) He was hollering in the back and one of us probably said, "Binkie him! Stat!" So she did. And when we arrived at my parents' house, we opened the back passenger doors to discover they were both knocked out. The Bean with his pacifier firmly in place because The Bun made sure to "Binkie him!" Even when she herself passed out, she carried out our request. What a great sis.

We attended a wedding last month that was children-friendly. Then, this month, we attended a wedding for adults only. It was one of the most elegant weddings I've seen. I love going to weddings with The Man and seeing my friends' interpretations of what their very special day looks to them. They're all so different and all very beautiful.

I remember driving to The Bun's school and thinking, "The few parents I see walking their kids to school are nuts! That walk looks hard and must take forever!" Well, I walked The Bun to school four (maybe five? I can't remember! Shocker, right?) because I made up my mind that we were going to wake up early enough so I could do it. Boy, I cut it close a couple of times and learned that I could make a 25 minute walk in 17 minutes. My sister calls it, "the walk that's uphill, both ways." It isn't pleasant but I got a little bored of the other walk I did which is more scenic and is uphill one way. I'm no triathlete so take my viewpoint with a grain of salt but - this walk is an @$$kicker.

I got to volunteer a couple of times in The Bun's classroom when I discovered that I could bring The Bean and, if I wore him, he wouldn't be disruptive. I was so happy when one of the times I could volunteer was when they were celebrating October birthdays. The Bun adored having her mama and baby brother there.

I'm going to miss being on maternity leave. I'm going to miss bonding with my son and watching him rapidly change and learn new things. I'm going to miss being able to walk The Bun to school and volunteering in her class. I know it makes her feel special when I do. I read so many blogs and articles of working moms and stay-at-home moms feel conflicted and feel guilt for one reason or another. It's nothing new and I know that both roles are extremely hard. I wish there was a way we could have it all. But I feel blessed knowing that if I can't be with him all the time, The Bean has my mom and dad. I still have many concerns (my parents are in their golden years so I don't know how long they can take care of my little rascal - he seems like he is destined to be a handful!) but we've got to keep trucking, trying and going about life because it's ALL unknown in one way or another.

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