A very good day

Today was one of those rare days that starts off looking blah to mediocre but ends up being a really great day.
I had a day off today and decided to get done some errands that I've been putting off for months. I had to go to the Alameda County Recorder's Office to order The Bean's official birth certificate and file a notarized and updated version of our deed. Fun stuff. I don't know about you but I imagine bad parking and long lines whenever I need to do things like that. Thus my procrastination! But we'll be traveling soon and The Bean needs his birth certificate. Figured I might as well file my seed since I know it could be taken care somewhere in the vicinity.
I asked my mom and dad if they wanted to join me and The Bean. We could go to a restaurant out that way since we're all somewhat homebodies, for various reasons.
My mom thought it was an excellent idea, especially since they wanted to get their car serviced. We were getting all sorts of errands out of the way! Again, not exciting but all things that needed to get done.
I dropped off The Bun at school and headed to my parents' car dealership. I got their relatively quickly that we detoured to pick up coffee for me and a pastry for my mom.
I know I drink decaf but ahhhhh, coffee. It's almost ritualistic for me.
We headed to downtown Oakland and since none of us were going to work or have an appointment we need to make, it was a stress-free drive.
It's the little things I've come to appreciate.
We found close street parking and headed inside the building. I hadn't been there since getting The Bun's birth certificate and I must say, I forgot how relatively easy it was there. They have a desk where you check in and let them know what you want to do. They make sure you filled out the appropriate paperwork and then give you a number. I got both things done in half an hour.
We were done before the restaurant I chose was open. My mom expressed interest in going to a bakery because, since they don't drive much anymore, her pastry places were limited. I yelped (love Yelp!) and found a bakery in Alameda.
I chose nearby Alameda instead of Oakland for one reason. My parents are elderly, we have a many with us so places with parking were much friendlier for our little group.
We found a cute bakery called Feel Good Bakery and wow, was it carb heaven! Everything looked so good. It was housed in Alameda Marketplace which looked like a local and unpretentious version of Whole Foods. It had sushi, wine and cheese, a bakery and grocery store. We parked on the street but quickly discovered they also had a parking lot. Definitely a must return.

The pastries were flawless. But we jostled them about.

My mom then expressed interest in visiting Rock Wall Wine Company, a place I used to be a member of ... before I trimmed my budget:) Love that place. It's a beautiful space that isn't pretentious (notice a theme in what I gravitate towards?) They have a spacious and lovely outdoor seating where we can enjoy the sunshine, good wine and food.

My parents indulged my desire for Vitamin D. We ate a scrumptious lunch accompanied by some delicious wine. My parents and I reminisced when the area used to be an active Military base. How we would go there once a month to go shopping at the Exchange and then groceries at the Commissary.

My parents and I had a great time. The Bean was also on his best behavior.
These moments are rare. We're so busy with day to day life that it's hard to fit in these kind days. I see my parents often and we make time for one another. But I really appreciate these beautiful impromptu moments when we can slow down and enjoy each other's company.

- Posted using BlogPress via iPhone

A different flashback Friday.

I always joke that if I had been more confident with my body during my college years, I would have been foot loose and fancy free! I would have walked around buck nekkid, proudly displaying what the my mama gave me and sowed my wild oats. If I had listened to what my older friends told me - "You're going to look back and wish you had appreciated your looks!" -  rather than wishing I was a size 2 or 0, I would've loved myself more.
I don't know. I'm politically liberal but, regarding sex, I've always been very conservative. By that I mean my own going-ons. It was hard for me to separate the physical act with the emotional ties. I equated it with love. Believe me, I'm not saying this is right. I think it's a much more fun outlook to keep the two separated! But that's just how it is. I'm somewhat a serial monogamist.
But surprise! That's not what this post is about. Because I would have, however, had no problem flaunting my bod if I had only been more confident. And by confident, I mean not giving an eff of what other people thought about me. I had (yes, past tense) been blessed with a flat stomach. Not a hard stomach, mind you, but flat. How lucky was I?  Unfortunately, I couldn't really appreciate it at the time because I wish it had been flatter and smaller.
Now, at 36 years of age, I'm much more sympathetic of my body. Sure, I brush my fingers over what I think look like angry stretch marks, sigh, and wish they would disappear. But I also think, "my poor body." I've had four pregnancies - one cesarean section, two laparoscopic surgeries, and one vaginal birth. Oh, I have also breastfed one baby and am currently breastfeeding another. My word. Poor, poor body. I've fed myself crap, fed myself good stuff, but mostly fed my body crap. It wasn't until recently I cared about wholesome, nutritious, organic food. I've stepped it up quite a bit, thank goodness.
I have been so harsh, so judgmental. I've unfairly compared my body to the bodies of movie stars, starlets, pinups, beautiful family members and friends ... why compare at all? I've hated, HATED, my poor body when all it has has done is gone through so much. My self-loathing wasn't just about appearance but I've also been so angry about the miscarriages. How dare my body not do what it's been made to do!
But I've gotten a lot better. I've still got plenty of things to work on but I think the first was to eat better. Going hand in hand with that is to be kinder and more understanding. I know my body will never be a size 2 or 0 unless I'm depressed (it's true.) I now have a realistic goal to shoot for which has been deemed by medical professionals as healthy. So important! I also am proud of what my body has done. We've come back from two full-term births. The strain my body endured! Not to mention being shattered, seriously, shattered from the last birth. I'd say it took about six months for everything to heal internally. Poor, poor body.
I'm still hovering about 3-4 lbs from my goal weight. I get frustrated and angry that I haven't made it yet but I also know that my body is fitting clothes better than it has in a long, long time. I also know that I haven't exactly restricted myself from goodies like chocolate so how much is it my mind rather than my body? My body can only do so much by itself.
I know that I will backslide. I know that I will get very angry and upset with myself, my body. But I hope I will revisit this post and remember to be kind. Be forgiving. This body has done so much for me.
-------------------------------
I was going to wait until I reached my goal weight but then decided, what the heck! The belly ring is back in. One might think, "She's too old to have a belly ring!" To hell with that, I say! It was either I keep it out and have a small scar or put it back in and rock it. I decided to rock it.

When I told her I loved her very much...

...she asked, "as high as the sky?"
"Yes!"
"Bigger than the world?" she asked.
"Yes!"
She captured it perfectly. My love is higher than the sky and bigger than the world for her and our family. What's funny is she will most likely forget this conversation but I wanted to be sure to remember. Because the description she created to illustrate my love for her is what I want to tell her and The Bean for the rest of my life.

While we were having this conversation in the car before school.

- Posted using BlogPress via iPhone

The city I live in

It's not a city, though. It's a town. 
According to about.com: In most places in the U.S. a town, village, community, or neighborhood is simply an unincorporated community with no governmental powers. (http://geography.about.com/library/faq/blqzcitytown.htm) 
I had to paste that in there because what I know about being in a town versus a city is that we have no mayor, the county sheriffs' department patrols the area and we don't have a city council.

A view of most of Castro Valley.

I love my little town. Castro Valley is very nice without being high-falutin'. The Man and I are working class folk. We like that our community is a little quirky. We have a hodgepodge of neighborhoods - some well thought out, a lot "organically grown" throughout the decades. We have young families, senior citizens, and just about everything in between. I love how authentically diverse it is - ethnically, socioeconomically, religiously, sexually, generationally ... you name it, we just about have it. Except for nightlife. We definitely do not have a party scene. Which is perfect for us because we need a family friendly town. I'll be honest, if I was single and in my 20s, San Francisco or thereabouts would definitely be the place for me. But I'm not and I'm not;) For what we want and need, Castro Valley is just about perfect for us.
We wanted:
1. A very good to great school district
2. To live close to my parents
3. A safe community where our kids could enjoy growing up
4. In the Bay Area
5. It to be affordable
I don't feel comfortable saying we had to "sacrifice" anything because, truly, I'm grateful for what we have. So let me just call these slight inconveniences we are happy to deal with:
1. Downsized living arrangements
2. Only 2 good restaurants in town
Not bad, right? We moved from a stand alone, two-story house to a two-story townhouse-style condominium. Say whaa? I know. Our home looks and feels like a townhouse but it's a condo. What's interesting is that even though it's smaller than our old house, it's a four-bedroom home as opposed to our old three-bedroom house. The layout of our current home is much more efficient with space and, in our eyes, a better design. In our old home, we had a master bedroom that was much larger than the other two bedrooms. Downstairs, we had a living room and a dining room but no bedroom. What drove us crazy is there wasn't even a small closet so there was no place to put coats or things like a vacuum. 
While it is annoying to pay more for a smaller space, not to mention we pay a much higher HOA fee, the trade-off is a safer community and a better school district. Due to moving into a smaller space, we're also forced to downsize if we didn't want to feel cluttered. We're still working on it, actually. We have a lot of "stuff" and we continue to work on living a more streamline and simpler lifestyle. 

I took this photo on what I believe is the day we received our keys. That was back in 2013.

I'm surprised by how much I like my neighborhood. You see, our dream home is a one-story home where we hardly see our neighbors. The Man would like to live on a farm and do things like till the land. I would like to live in a beach cottage by the sea and shop regularly at a farmer's market. Slightly different goals. (We shall see how it all shakes out when we retire!) So obviously our home is very different than our dream homes. But our neighborhood is one of those that was well thought out when it was created. There are many of us, I think 180+ units, but it is very quiet. I'm thankful we don't live near party animals, reckless or inconsiderate individuals. Most of the residents are families and I think it's safe to assume most of us moved here for the schools. I wish we had larger streets and sidewalks but the grounds are beautifully kept. We also have very good security and watchful neighbors so there is little to no crime. Our HOA is also pretty on top of it. So much so that we had our hands slapped when we updated all our windows to more energy efficient ones the day after our contractor started the project. We were supposed to clear it with HOA first. Oops. But it also illustrated just how much they pay attention. This is very important to us since we had been burglarized at our old home where our HOA supposedly had a security service. 
Another perk is that we have great trails and walking areas (thankfully we do have sidewalks outside of my neighborhood) that make for a good workout. We also have a very nice Olympic-sized pool that I like to try to escape to every so often. 

It feels spa-like. My only critique is I wish it were heated. But then my HOA fees would be even higher so ... never mind.

About the quality of restaurants: The Man and I were shocked - and I don't write this lightly - how there are very few good restaurants in Castro Valley. There are exactly two that we like enough to frequent. The rest are bad to mediocre, at best. "How is this possible?" we thought. We live in the Bay Area, a food mecca! Well, it may be the large retirement population in the area but, in general, the food is bland. Even the chain restaurants which are usually a safe bet. And it's not just us. Many people we've spoken to have echoed our sentiments. It's inconvenient when we're hungry and not in the mood to go out because all the places that deliver aren't anything we crave. We've tried, believe me, and have been disappointed again and again. But seriously, such a first world problem. Which is why I have to label these two things "small inconveniences" rather than "sacrifices." 
There you have it, the town I live in. I don't know if we will stay here once the kids graduate from school because we can't imagine paying these HOA fees once we retire. But for right now and the next 18 years, this is where we plan on staying. I love it here because it's exactly what my family needs - a safe and lovely place to live and grow. I feel absolutely blessed to live in a nice home, in a nice town, near my parents and the village it takes to raise our babies.