Slower than molasses but ...

... last time I checked in here, I was 3-4 lbs away from goal. Despite the gluttony that was my tropical vacation (for which I have no apologies!), I'm now 1-2 lbs from my goal.
This is a big deal for me.
I will not be a skinny minny at my goal. I'm sure that some will look at me and think I should keep going. But 1) it is realistic and 2) medical professionals evaluated me from head to toe and came up with my goal so 3) I'm totally behind it.
Clothes fit me differently now. I know I've written about it before but I can't find it in a quick search and I'm pressed for time so I'll repeat myself. How little ol' lady of me ... which I fully embrace.
Today I posted on IG a photo of me in a pair of pants I haven't worn in a long time, maybe 2 years. Well, I was surprised by how loose they fit because my stomach is quite soft. It's sort of an optical illusion - my stomach is trimmer but also much softer. I think it is about the size it was when I got married. While I weigh less now than my wedding day, I did have a personal trainer whip me into shape:)
But, as I've mentioned before, I'm making a concerted effort to be kind to my body. To be forgiving and loving to my body. I really like this online article because it reminded me that my body has been through a lot and I am absolutely blessed to have given birth to two beautiful babies.
So I thank my body because, while my belly is softer than my youth, it has trimmed down so much I didn't even realize it until I tried on these pants. And these are the smaller sized pants of my 10 pairs. I wore size 8 pants for a year or so after The Bun was born. I wore size 6 pants about the time I got married.
I debated holding on to these pants because, frankly, I'm scared that I will gain the weight back. And almost all of them have been hemmed professionally so that certainly added to the cost! But after being approximately this weight for months now, I think it's time to free up the room in my closet.
I'm not a completely changed woman. My downfall is chocolate, always has, always will. But I'm much better at nourishing my body with good stuff like vegetables and (mostly) staying away from junk food.
Thank you, body! You've been very nice to me.

A different flashback Friday.

I always joke that if I had been more confident with my body during my college years, I would have been foot loose and fancy free! I would have walked around buck nekkid, proudly displaying what the my mama gave me and sowed my wild oats. If I had listened to what my older friends told me - "You're going to look back and wish you had appreciated your looks!" -  rather than wishing I was a size 2 or 0, I would've loved myself more.
I don't know. I'm politically liberal but, regarding sex, I've always been very conservative. By that I mean my own going-ons. It was hard for me to separate the physical act with the emotional ties. I equated it with love. Believe me, I'm not saying this is right. I think it's a much more fun outlook to keep the two separated! But that's just how it is. I'm somewhat a serial monogamist.
But surprise! That's not what this post is about. Because I would have, however, had no problem flaunting my bod if I had only been more confident. And by confident, I mean not giving an eff of what other people thought about me. I had (yes, past tense) been blessed with a flat stomach. Not a hard stomach, mind you, but flat. How lucky was I?  Unfortunately, I couldn't really appreciate it at the time because I wish it had been flatter and smaller.
Now, at 36 years of age, I'm much more sympathetic of my body. Sure, I brush my fingers over what I think look like angry stretch marks, sigh, and wish they would disappear. But I also think, "my poor body." I've had four pregnancies - one cesarean section, two laparoscopic surgeries, and one vaginal birth. Oh, I have also breastfed one baby and am currently breastfeeding another. My word. Poor, poor body. I've fed myself crap, fed myself good stuff, but mostly fed my body crap. It wasn't until recently I cared about wholesome, nutritious, organic food. I've stepped it up quite a bit, thank goodness.
I have been so harsh, so judgmental. I've unfairly compared my body to the bodies of movie stars, starlets, pinups, beautiful family members and friends ... why compare at all? I've hated, HATED, my poor body when all it has has done is gone through so much. My self-loathing wasn't just about appearance but I've also been so angry about the miscarriages. How dare my body not do what it's been made to do!
But I've gotten a lot better. I've still got plenty of things to work on but I think the first was to eat better. Going hand in hand with that is to be kinder and more understanding. I know my body will never be a size 2 or 0 unless I'm depressed (it's true.) I now have a realistic goal to shoot for which has been deemed by medical professionals as healthy. So important! I also am proud of what my body has done. We've come back from two full-term births. The strain my body endured! Not to mention being shattered, seriously, shattered from the last birth. I'd say it took about six months for everything to heal internally. Poor, poor body.
I'm still hovering about 3-4 lbs from my goal weight. I get frustrated and angry that I haven't made it yet but I also know that my body is fitting clothes better than it has in a long, long time. I also know that I haven't exactly restricted myself from goodies like chocolate so how much is it my mind rather than my body? My body can only do so much by itself.
I know that I will backslide. I know that I will get very angry and upset with myself, my body. But I hope I will revisit this post and remember to be kind. Be forgiving. This body has done so much for me.
-------------------------------
I was going to wait until I reached my goal weight but then decided, what the heck! The belly ring is back in. One might think, "She's too old to have a belly ring!" To hell with that, I say! It was either I keep it out and have a small scar or put it back in and rock it. I decided to rock it.

Cleansing my little heart out

I can't believe I forgot to write about this experience. In September, after my sister and her family came to visit, I did a 10-day cleanse. I did it for many reasons but mainly because I knew I hit an all-time low when I had fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner one Saturday. And, not to my surprise, I hit an all-time high with my weight, post-baby.
I had friends on FaceBook who were doing a cleanse at about the same time. They got such good results! In addition to losing weight, they wrote how they feel more energetic, have less physical issues and just all-around loved it. They talked about how it was made from only organic superfoods. They talked about how it tasted good (it admittedly looks like it would taste horrible.) They talked about how it fired up their metabolism.
I needed to change my lifestyle and I sure as heck needed to help my metabolism. So I did it. It wasn't the easiest thing in the whole wide world but it was doable and I did it.
I lost 8 lbs. after 10 days.
I wished I had lost more because all of my friends lost 10 lbs. but I kind of diverted from the plan the last two days so I couldn't be disappointed with my results. They were still good. Here's the thing, though - because I ordered more of it in case I wanted to continue it, I drank the power shake here and there for the next month. I went back to eating meals but I did have a shake every so often.
It really did change the way I ate. I had initially gained 2 lbs back. I thought, huh, well, I am eating meals again so it's fine.But then I lost them again. And then I lost an additional 3 lbs bringing my total weight loss a month after finishing the cleanse to 11 lbs. I was somewhat close to my Wedding Day weight again.
So I decided to do it again, almost two weeks ago. I think why it's harder to do my 2nd cleanse is because I told myself the first time that, "it's only 10 days!" And here I go again, doing it again. I want to do it, I like how I feel when I do it, but the temptation seems so much greater the second time around! Although it has been rougher, I've stuck it out. And now I'm 1 lb. away from Wedding Day weight!
My realistic goal is to lose 5 more lbs. after that. My pie-in-the-sky goal is to lose a total of 10 more lbs. But if I lost the last 5 lbs., I would extremely happy. I've also decided to go "public" with it all. I was scared to tell people because what if I failed? Or what if I relapsed and gained it all back? But after three months, I haven't.
I decided to post it on FaceBook. I also joined the Purium group so I could introduce my family and friends to Purium and help them through their cleanse by being a cheerleader and, if possible, doing it with them. How I feel about this is how I feel about yoga. I really like it and strongly encourage people to do it! Truthfully, doing it with them will also encourage ME so I'm happy to do a cleanse with them. I've already pulled a group of friends that want to do their first cleanse on December 1st. I never got to do either of my cleanses with a group.I've already started messaging my friends with tips to help them get started right (lowering their caffeine and going decaf right before their cleanse) as well as introduced them to other people they can talk to if they have questions. I think it will make the experience a lot better. The gal who introduced me to Purium lives in Hawaii so she would text and FB me but she wasn't doing it with me. Luckily, though, I was invited to join a group on FB and reading other posts about people's success stories, temptations and gripes was very comforting.
Ummm, I didn't want to be all crazy cheerleader about Purium but I really do like this company. They helped me lose weight that was sticking to me like no other! I am also able to provide my body with really healthy nutrients and they make it so easy. I admit, I'm not hitting the gym every day and it's hard being a working mom. But they helped me do something really good for my body and made it easy. The other added benefits? I'm no longer dependent on caffeine. I haven't touched soda since September either. My allergies and eczema have also gone away (I wish I know what foods causes them.) Purium has been such a great experience.

PS: Now if I can only find a yoga studio I love in my new hometown ... I have started a weekly running date with a friend so that's a start on my physical fitness goals!

Shatty Day

And not just because it has to do with weight. Although, I will leave you will this picture to illustrate my frustration:

Yup, that's now I feel.

No, I went to the doctor's today and received really messed up news. Without going into too much detail, this is how it goes:

My follow up doctor's visit next week can go two ways - 1) All is good and that is that. OR 2) I will need to be monitored, my and The Bun's Hawaii trip will need to be cancelled and I'll get to spend it going to the doctor several times throughout the week (thus needing to be monitored.)

I am so frustrated. More so about that. But also because my weight spiked back up and I'm back to needing to lose 10 lbs. Does one have to do with the other? Not really so I can't even blame my weight gain on the shitacular news I received. What. The. Eff. I'm so upset on several levels.

Rectifying weekend gluttony

Ah, my body is forgiving me. I'm back on track. So, to refresh your memory, I had 10 lbs. to go. I didn't post it (because I had forgotten to) but I had lost roughly 2 pounds of that. Then all hell broke loose in the part of my brain that dealt with self-control and I shot back, causing me to be 11 lbs. from goal as of last Monday.
As I've mentioned before, I know 10 lbs. (+1) doesn't seem like a lot. But these are my last ten pounds on my weight loss journey. They are the hardest 10 lbs. I've ever had to lose. They are clinging to me like nothing I've ever witnessed before. So while it may seem like a measly 10 lbs. to others, for me, it's two to three dress sizes. It's the difference between my body now and my body when I first started dating The Man. The end result of reaching my weight goal is a comfortable size 4 for me. For real.

And I'm happy to report that I've lost a few pounds from my weekend of gluttony and am now 8.5 lbs. away from goal.
I'll take it!
Do I slip up? Most definitely. Hell, I just ate the Godiva Truffles someone at work left for me (I know, bad girl.) But I'm doing my best to not just be lackadaisical. I know what works for me and I need to DO IT.

Well. That first week didn't go very well.

It's getting hard for me to kick my ass in gear. ARGHHHHHHHH! Why am I not disciplined? I know exactly what I need to do and I know exactly what works produces results. Yet ... I don't do it.

But I'm not giving up. I can do this. Even though I sabotaged myself this past week, I can get my booty in gear.

On a happier note, it looks like I have a future yogini on my hands! While I would love for her to dance hula with my old halau (they recently started offering a keiki class - first time, ever!), I would also be over-the-moon if I could share with my baby girl what both challenges me and bring me serenity and joy:

She's a natural! Her form in downward facing dog is better than mine.

Focusing on the yoga DVD.

Balancing out the vinyasa with upward facing dog.

How cute is she?? I know it's going to be a couple more years before she can go to class with me but I hope she learns to love yoga as much as I do:)

10 pounds in 30 days

It might seem too aggressive except that FIVE of those pounds shouldn't be there! I had lost them.
And, like a federal agent, they found me again.

Seriously? Seriously?!
Ah, why am I acting shocked? I knew I was pressing my luck. My body was my science experiment. I was testing its limits, seeing what I could get away with eating without gaining weight.
Well, I'm back in the game. Time to go with what I know works. I got comfortable when I lost 15 pounds and went back to my old habits. So, in my mind, the first five are going to be easy but the last five are the ones that have been here this whole time.
But who's to say I can't lose them? I was certain that those other 15 were here to stay. I'm determined to NOT psych out. I will stop being my worst critic and start being my best cheerleader. As corny as it sounds. And I know it sounds corny.
You there, 10 pounds, pack your bags. You're about to get the boot!!!!

Futzing around with technology

This is how I decompress. I futz on the internet. Prior to FaceBook, MySpace and Friendster, I had blogs to peruse. And, of course, there are gossip sites, shopping sites, travel sites, and, really, I could find hours upon hours of things to look at and piss away my time. And now there's even more to look at! Uh, hello Pinterest?
When The Bun was an infant, it was OK for me to be on my smart phone or laptop. In fact, it was a great way to pass the time when I was breast feeding or pumping. Or when she was napping But a little over a year ago, The Man called me out. Rightfully so. He said he made it a point to not be on his iPod Touch or iPad when spending time with The Bun and he thought I should do the same. This ensured we had quality time with her. I fully agreed. I made it a point to not be on my laptop. But man, does that smart phone make it easy for me to slip up!
Here's the thing. I'll hear an email alert. Or, when checking the time, I'll see a notification on my FB app. Or one of my other apps. Or I'll receive a text message. Or, and I also trick myself into doing this, I'll take a photo, upload it to FB and then want to read the comments. Full addict confession: One thing leads to another and there I am, browsing the internet or scrolling down my FaceBook page.
I feel so guilty! There isn't much time to have QUALITY time with the Bun. I mean, we already have the TV distracting her, we're both working parents so our weekdays are cut short. So on the weekends, what is my bloody excuse?
In addition to putting it out there that I need to lose those last 5 lbs (I have been hovering between 5 and 7 pounds for months and have been too ashamed to post it on FB), I shall also declare on my blog that I will be stricter with myself and limit my iPhone futzing time to the bare minimum when The Bun is around. I mean, as soon as she goes to bed, The Man and I are already jumping on our electronic devices! Why can't I show some restraint when she's around? She deserves a Mama who is giving her full & undivided attention. Well, that's a lot to ask since we don't live in a bubble but how about a Mama who is focused on her and not the internet?
 I already don't talk on the phone unless it's neccessary. I will allow myself to answer texts and important emails. I just need to make sure that I don't get lured by my apps' notification features. I can do this!
(And, dammit, I can lose those last 5 lbs! For crap's sake, I am below pre-baby weight and wedding weight. I would just like to be at the weight I was when I met The Man. It's a reasonable goal since I've weighed less than that when we were dating. I just know that my goal weight is attainable. If I can just get TO IT.)

Fallen off the wagon

I know I put it on my Facebook page but I haven't written about it for a while. In fact, this was the last time I wrote about it. I won't go into details because I don't want this entry to became an advertisement but, in short, the Dukan Diet works for me. IF I stick with it.
Of the 10 lbs I had left, I lost some more and only had four pounds to go. Then plateaued. Then I survived the holidays and somehow slipped back into bad habits. I gained a few pounds and now have to lose seven pounds. Yep, I backtracked.
It's so frustrating because the only thing truly standing in my way is ME. I know what I need to do and I know that it works. So WHY is it so hard for me to do it? And this is when I bash myself. I get mad at myself for being weak, lazy and undisciplined. But, as we all know, what good does that do? Nothing. What's that saying? Crazy is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Or something to that effect.
OK. So this is where I change my thought process and not revert to my self destructive ways. I will go back to what has worked for me not that long ago. I will post something on FB because putting it out there somehow works for me, I will be better about planning what and when I eat, I will be more diligent about walking, yoga and working out with The Man. And I will loose these mother effin' last seven pounds.
I will.

At pre-pregnancy weight. Boo-yah.

There are some ladies who can lose all the pregnancy weight they gained within a matter of weeks. In fact, there was one mama in my Mommy & Baby group who was in skinny jeans within the first month. I was NOT one of those ladies. I gained a total of 30 lbs. Oh, I know I was lucky. "Thirty pounds?!" some friends exclaimed. "That's nothing! I gained [enter a much larger #] pounds!" Yes, yes. I know that it could have been worse for me. But here was the problem. The first 20 lbs melted off like butter (thanks, Baby Blues!) but the last 10 were amazingly sticky. Then it became 10-15 lbs that stuck around. That might not seem much but it's roughly three dress sizes on my 5'1" frame. Over a year and a half later, I was still struggling w/ those 10-15 lbs. I don't know much about weight loss (obviously) or the complex workings of the human body. What I do know, and what I've even read somewhere to confirm my beliefs, is that your body has a memory. Just like muscle memory but FAT MEMORY. Sure at my skinniest I was 20 lbs lighter than my weight right now. But my body hasn't seen that number since I was 17 years old and very briefly when I was 25. I know it isn't realistic of me to shoot for that number because my body just hasn't really been at that number for a looooong period of time. But my body has been at what I've chosen as my goal weight for many years in my early and late 20s. It has been quite some time, as well, but I believe it's achievable. And I'm just now 10 lbs to it. What's changed? Several factors, I believe. I've always known what I needed to eat in order to lose weight but I wasn't willing to give it up. I loved bread, pasta and sweets. Mmmm, carbs. I knew I should cut back but it seemed like too big of a sacrifice. And when I cut back a little and didn't see results, I said "Eff it". After posting for a second or third time about my weight loss effort on Facebook, a friend messaged me and politely (without any pressure!) recommended a book that helped her lose 22 lbs. When she told me it didn't require her to do much cooking and she was still able to stick w/ it, the 22 lbs was enough testimonial for me! The other factor that helped quite a bit was that The Man was (and still is) training for a race. It's a pretty rigorous one and he decided to take his training uber-seriously. In addition to working out six days a week, he also cut out a lot of carbs in his diet. While we are not on the same diet plan, not having temptations in the house helped A LOT. I am weak. I love tasty food. But if it's not in the house and accessible, it's a lot easier for me to not eat it. Also, quite frankly, the peer pressure of having someone else in the house trying to lose weight and get in shape is a great motivation for me. We stock up the house w/ lots of protein and I have found a couple of items that help me w/ my sweet tooth. While I do not join him in his workouts every day, I do them about twice a week w/ him as well as my own light exercises. Side note: If you ever done the workout DVDs, "Insanity" or "P90X", you know that those are no joke. So I feel very content w/ my 2x a week with him! Yes, I stumble and cheat on my diet. I'm sure if I stuck to it 100%, I'd lose weight a little faster. But I'm really proud of myself because I HAVE stuck to it most of the time and am seeing results. I don't know my exact starting weight because I was doing my own thing prior to this diet but I've lost about 10 lbs. I realize that it is typical woman of me to fret about weight. But you know what? It IS a big deal to me and it does affect how I feel. It means a lot to me to get to my goal weight because I'm putting forth effort. And I really want to succeed. So I'm going to chip away at this and lose these last 10 lbs! Wish me luck.

Bound to happen

I think I knew it was eventually going to happen. I have been sensitive about it my ENTIRE life. Since I'm the heaviest I've ever been (excluding pregnancy,) even though this is also the most content I've ever been, it was bound to happen. It just took someone I considered very important to say it AKA hurt my feelings.
Is it reasonable? No. I know these feelings are very unreasonable. I mean, I know I need to lose weight. I'm 10 lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight and 20 lbs heavier than what was my average weight in my 20s. On a 5'1" frame, this is a lot. It the difference of 2-4 dress sizes.
Knowing all this, it still hurt a lot when someone said that I should try exercise DVDs. We weren't even discussing MY weight. I wasn't bitching about it at that time or anything. But we had just gone to a party in which all the women were thin. No joke. They were all a few years older, had multiple children yet about my height and far thinner than I.
Oh, don't think I didn't notice. And evidently, so did this other person. While we never brought that particular point up, I imagine that's what got our conversation there on me.
Do I think this person was unintentionally rude? Yes. But this person has no idea that my feelings got hurt. And I don't think I'm entirely in the right because while it was rude, it's not like I haven't said I wanted to lose weight.  I do want and need to lose weight. I know this. And it's true.
It just hurts when someone else mentions it first.

Furlough FUN week!

I'm not doing anything spectacular. Just hanging out with the babe and in-laws who are in town. Today I went to boot camp. I absolutely dread going and sometimes talk myself into not going. But once I'm there ... well, I'm still kind of hating life. But AFTER I'm done and I've left, I feel really good. Like a bad ass, actually ;) So if I can just win the good fight with myself (and not talk myself out of going) I plan on going at least one more time this week. Hopefully TWO.
I'm really excited to see that a yoga studio is opening up super close to my house. Within 5 minutes driving. YES. Now the only thing is working out the baby sitting situation. I'm hoping that it can be worked out. See, I can't expect The Man to watch her when he gets home. It's just not fair. Sure, once in a while for special occasions but we both readily admit that it's hard when once of us isn't home in the evening. It's when she is most fussy and we also have the pups! They need to get fed, the grown ups need to be fed and the Bun needs food, changing, and TLC. So going at night is not an option. *sigh* Hopefully something will come about. I even suggested having classes where moms can workout with their babies. The studio said they are trying to work that out. Now THAT would be nice. Until then, I sneek into boot camp here and there and go on walks with a stroller and two dogs.

New digs and random bits

Hey! Hope you found me easily.
I didn't move because of any drama. More like technical difficulties. Learning how to add Flickr was a pain in the hoo-hah. (I am not html savvy.)
Thank you for the song suggestions. Please keep them coming! I need enough running/work out music for three hours.
Yah. I know.
Oh, and I got CAUGHT. Jon-Jon glanced at my computer which happened to show the post about his bathroom issues. He pointed to the screen and said, "Hey! What's that?!" Oops.
But he thanked all of you for acknowledging that he is a neat man - most of the time. Between you and me, though, he's still have stomach problems and I'm not looking for stuff to clean, know what I mean? I have cleaner and papertowels in the bathroom so he can take care of his post-business. And if your concerned about his 7+ days of bathroom issues, because I actually am, he saw a doctor and is going to see a specialist. Cross your fingers! Between the broken yet healing hand and stomach problems (I was going to write something else but decided to be kind,) my boy is not a happy camper :(
Have a great Monday!!!!

I desperately need new running music!

Some help, please. I need some running music. I've been listening to the same playlist (give or take a couple of a songs) for two years! It's the same GD music I listen to when I worked out. Evidently I PLAYED THEM OUT.
I like fast beats and, if at all possible, mainstream. Suggestions, please. Here's my current playlist:
Gold Digger
Crazy In Love
U & Ur Hand
Ain't No Other Man
Just a Girl
Kawaipunahele Dance Mix (A Hawaiian remix)
Touch the Sky
Chris Cox Megamix of Britney's music
Promiscuous
No Strings ATtached
Elevation
Numb/Encore
Uptight
SexyBack
Candyman
Ex-girlfriend
Blister In the Sun
I will Survive
Sunday Morning
Come On Eileen
Lady
Intergalactic
Get Ur Freak On
This Will Be (Everlasting Love)
Crazy
Bizarre Love Triangle
Butterfly

I'm getting SICK of it. I find myself getting easily distracted by how much I'm annoyed by my music. And, because running is such a pain in the ass, it's way to easy for me to become unmotivated, slow down and start walking. Now that I'm incorporating music when I train, I need to freshen my playlist.
So please, tell me what gets your booty shakin' so I can add it!
Yah, I wrote "booty."

Breaking records and gorgeous girls

I ran six miles today!
Well, I ran five-and-a-half miles and walked for about one. I had to take a 20 minute detour from the path because I needed to go to the bathroom.
Helpful hint: Do not eat a protein bar containing 11g of fiber before going on a run.
At least, I shouldn't. Just ten minutes into the run, I was in desperate need of the loo. Jon and I followed some signs to a bathroom only to have it locked. I was about to cry (seeing that we were a mile and a half from the start) when The Man found a cottage with the logo, "YMCA." Hallelujah! I was ready to beg, plead or kick some ass, if need be, to use their facilities. The place was open but no one was inside. I think it was where they held Summer Camp or something. Well, bless the upper class suburbia because the facilities were pretty nice. I left, still not seeing anyone, and we went back on course. The detour probably added an additional 1/2 mile to the course.
(If you haven't donated yet, the link is on the right of my blog or RIGHT HERE. It's a safe link and your money goes to a good cause. We all have had a relative suffer from heart disease or stroke. Just get your credit card out, follow the directions and donate $25! Admit it, you drop that much at Starbucks within a week. You can spare it!!!)
Six miles is a lot. Even for Jon. I've got a headache and he's a little dizzy so we're both laid out on the couch. But dammit, I ran six miles! Of course, since the prior four mile run was my longest distance, today breaks my personal record - thus far. Pretty fantastic considering ...
I was whoopin' it up at ASIA SF the night before!
I've gone dancing there before but have always wanted to catch the dinner and show. My friends and I booked reservations a month ago and finally went out last night. Sure enough, it's worth the hype! The food is excellent. And the gender illusionists are spectacular! They were so beautiful. Tiny figures with flat tummies and perfect fake chests. They didn't have the outrageous Las Vegas kind. Their boobs were definitely more voluptuous than the average Asian gal but it looked nice. Augmentation looks good when the person isn't greedy about it :)
I don't have any pictures yet but here are some samples from their website:

We had two waitresses (they are also the gals that later perform in the show.) One was an older Filipino woman/man as our waitress. She said her name is "Tita" but we could call her "Tits" for short. Well, all right.
The place is infamous for bachelorette parties which I know confuses some men. I myself can't explain it. There's something about being in a trendy place with good food and gorgeous performers (who are boys) gyrating up and down a catwalk that make the place so much fun. Of course, you heard every girl (with a vagina, I mean) in the place saying something like, "I wish I looked that good!" I was certainly one of them! As you can tell, I had a lot of admiration for the gals.
I noticed that the straight bartenders scored big time with the drunk girls so watch out for those charmers! It actually makes sense considering that most, if not all, of the straight men in attendance were brought by their girlfriends. The bartenders were feeling up on the bachelorette parties and licking whip cream from their cleavages. I'm telling you - these guys have the market cornered at this place! But enough about them. I went for the gender illusionists! The food and drinks, however, were just as lovely.
I downed three rum & diet cokes that night so I'm quite pleased that I was able to wake up at 6:30 am and run six miles. If it weren't for the headache, I'd feel pretty damn invincible.

Ooo-weee

This morning I ran four miles. FOUR!

This is a first for me. The most I've ever ran before is three miles. I think. I don't care much for running. That's a lie. I think running sucks. But I know it's good for me so I'm trying to get over the mind block. Thus the half-marathon. That and it's a good cause (donation link on the right side of the blog. I'm just sayin'.)

Scoff if you will but I'm proud of myself. I expected to do it in 1 hour and 20 minutes but I did it in 1 hour. I am so happy! I know I'm no gazelle but, for me, that is a GREAT time. Hot damn. (Now just 9 more miles to go!)

It almost, almost, makes up for the fact that I've gained back the 4 lbs I lost. But not quite. But I won't get into that because, when I think about it, it REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

On a completely different topic, I haven't put up a picture of the kids lately so here it is -

It's what you make of it

Today was a productive day. Jon-Jon and I cleaned house - he prepped the living room for me to vacuum (I didn't even ask him!) which basically meant he picked up all the chew toys any any other crap off the floor. I vacuumed the living room, going under sofa cushions, wall corners and ceilings. Then I cleaned both bathroom floors, toilets (ugh), and sinks. I also vacuumed the hallway, master and guest bedrooms. Jon swept and steam cleaned the kitchen floor (thanks be!) and most of the carpet in the house.
We were tired.
I also weighed in today. I expected it to be bad since I fell off the wagon but, man. I really need to make more of an effort to journal. I tricked myself when I tried to mentally remember what I ate. How stupid is that? I neglected to attend two of my last meetings because of Bay to Breakers and then I was out of town. But I could have tried harder to go to meetings on other days, you know? I think I'm done beating myself up. I'm back on the wagon and feel good about it. I have a strong support system with friends like Tel (thanks for pretty blog header!!!!) who swear they will help me out. I've got 17 lbs to shake off!
Oh, and I also joined a gym. That was a hard decision. I was spoiled before. I had worked at a non-profit that was attached to a gym so I had a free membership! Then, during this last year with the bad J-O-B, I made no time to work out and, while I still had one year of free membership at my old job, I didn't take advantage of it. I was tired, depressed and frustrated so I was pretty sure I shouldn't be around people, anyway. Well, now there are no more excuses. I went to my local 24 and signed up for a membership. I can't believe I pay to belong to a gym. But I do. The biggest reason why I felt I had to was because ...
I'm running a 1/2 marathon, remember?! I trained for the first time on Saturday. I ran about 2 miles and walked for 1 mile. It took me about 47 minutes to finish three miles. Jon ran with me for moral support. Oh. My. Gosh. I need to train daily. Well, truth be told, I hate treadmills. But I'm also scared to run outside around 5:30am. I would prefer to run on the the local college campus. But, and this is horrible, I still remember when I attended a while back and there was serial rapist who attacked women in the middle of the day while school was in session!!! That was nearly ten years ago but that still freaked me out. Much less running when barely anyone is on campus yet! And that spot is really the closest and best area for me to run. So with slim-to-none selections, I opted to join a gym.
In case you didn't know, I'm running for a cause. It's Train to End Stroke. One of the reasons I chose this cause is because I am a big advocate of the American Heart Association. And here's why you should make a donation:
1. They are smart with their donors' money. More than 75 cents of every dollar goes to research, education, and training. They also fund the BEST research. They have a panel of doctors and scientists that review all the proposals and only select what would best benefit the public.
2. They are the biggest (non-goverment) contributors to research. Even bigger than the American Cancer Society. It must be because they are pretty good about their overhead being less than 25% of their budget. I'm just sayin'.
3. We ALL know at least one person we are close to that has been affected by stroke or heart disease. And if you do not, you are exceptional and very, very fortunate. Think of all the things that your donation could help discover to make our parents, friends and even ourselves live longer and healthier lives.
Please make a donation. Any little bit helps! THIS IS A SECURE LINK and it's super easy to pay by credit card. Seriously, anything you can give is greatly appreciated. Trust me, I promise it's for a good cause. Think about giving and help save lives. And here's another link if you missed the first one ;)
Or just cut and paste it!
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=231134&lis=1&kntae231134=E7345D14234A426AB3CD73E26F7AF460&supId=174574576
OK, I'm done asking. For now!