This one was really easy

I'm grateful for being able to spend my latest birthday in one of my most favorite places in the world with some of my most favorite people in the world.

It's not the best photo but it has all of in it with a hazy background of where we are. 

I loved Hawaii the first time I stepped foot on Oahu in 2001. I couldn't believe that I hadn't known how amazing this place was until I was 21 years old. I had childhood neighbors from HI, friends who vacationed in HI, but I was not the least bit interested until I went on a girls' trip with a college friend and absolutely fell in love with a place. I think the only two other places I loved as much were the Philippines (there is something magical about being with family and appreciating your ancestral land) and Washington (Sister loved it and showed me all the places she loved therefore I also loved it).  

I credit HI for helping me love my tanned skin and be more accepting of my body type. As proud as I am of being Filipino, colorism is an issue and so is weight. Growing up, I had wished I had lighter skin and really wished that I was underweight. Even at a size 4, I remember going to the Philippines and my relatives calling me curvy. HI helped me appreciate how beautiful tan skin can be and also how all types of bodies can exist on a beach. To be fair, that's not just a Filipino issue, for the longest time America celebrated skinniness (let's face it, still does) so it felt like everywhere I turned, my type was not considered beauty. And I love that HI refuses to be colonized and bucks that belief in every which way. 

I visited Hawaii every year for several years (some years on Oahu, a few on Maui). The Man and I got married on Oahu, honeymooned on Kauai, and then the visits became less frequent after having two children. I've always wanted to go to the Big Island as it was the only inhabitable Hawaiian island I hadn't visited and we were able to make it happen this year. And it is the very first time I've ever celebrated a birthday in Hawaii. 

It felt pretty special to do this. We also stayed in an AirBnB for the first time in Hawaii and ohmigerd, it has made all the difference. Being in one hotel room with one bathroom has felt extra tight now that Bun is a teenager and Bean is basically the size of one. The Man found a beautiful home high up on the hills with incredible views.

My view as I wrote in my journal

Normally I don't like being so far from the water because I love the ease of stepping out of a hotel room and being minutes from the beach. But the quiet, privacy, and peace we have here, along with the convenience of two bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms (I cannot stress enough how this is a game changer), kitchen, living room ... basically, a whole house to ourselves with beautiful ocean views from most rooms in this house is extraordinary. I feel absolutely blessed. 

I acknowledge that my kids prefer having the beach more accessible and restaurants and shops being in walking distance. But they see the positives in what we are experiencing (having their own bedroom and a massive bathroom is a gigantic plus) and are happily along for the ride. Well, Bun is having to do a lot of homework for independent study and has requested we not take a vacation during school. The Man & I wanted to give it a go because travel and room/board is so expensive when schools are on break but won't be doing it again because we feel bad for the kiddos.

With all the health and housing issues my mom is going through (that would be many posts and has been many therapy sessions) and my role at work somewhat in question (boo to funding issues), I was having a hard time looking forward to this trip even though I had really been wanting to go. But things going as they were leading up to this trip were very stressful. And it felt like one of the worst times to possibly go. But then my mom's housing situation was solved, her health was somewhat steady, and it seemed that my job was hanging in the balance a bit less. 

And now we're here. And it's beautiful. And I'm one year older, in relatively good health, with my absolutely lovely family. Life feels good right now.