Break-ups.
Rest assure, Jon-Jon and I are just dandy. Here, let me quickly give you my train of thought. "What to write about. Exs. No, exs are such a negative subject and, personally, a waste of time. The Man. I'll write about how we met. Oooh, that's good. But wait, what about that time between the ex and The Man? Shoot, I will never forget how much break-ups hurt."
So there you have it. Break-ups.
I remember being the breaker-upper. Sure, I was the one who got to call the shot and sort of prep for the situation. But it still sucks. If you're an overall good person, you don't want to be the asshole. And that's what you are when you're the breaker-upper. Doesn't matter if you didn't cheat. Doesn't matter if it's because you need to focus on something else (and when is it ever really that?) It doesn't matter what wonderful rationale you may have in your pocket. You're still the asshole.
I remember wanting to do it for a while but being chicken. And I remember the moment where I just broke. That's the only word I can think to describe it. He had flaked on meeting me and my friend in the city because he was sick and he had wanted me to end the night with my friend right then and there, go home, and take care of him. I remember not feeling a twinge of sympathy but feeling very frustrated and exasperated. I remember him saying, "Do you want to break up with me or something?" just to be dramatic. But, to his surprise, I answered and said yes.
I also remember being the brokee (you know what I mean.) Well, I was cheated on so "same smell, different taste." I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, that I took it a lot better than most, that I was one bad ass mo'fo. But I would be lying. I was a freakin' wreck. I could not stop crying. What's funny is I wasn't even in love at this point. I just felt betrayed. I think what freaked me out is that I had no control and that person's love seemed like one of the few sure things in my life.
I smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish. I would take advantage of happy hours during the week. I went out every weekend because I couldn't stand being by myself. I talked to anyone who would listen about how big of an asshole he was. I was hurt, I was angry. I was scared to death that no one would love me again. At least, as much as he did and he obviously didn't love me as much as we both thought he did.
It took a while. I think it took at last six months before I could sleep through the night. Eventually, I was OK with being home on a Saturday night and just watching TV. I knew when I was no longer sad and bitter that I was OK with being a single woman. That I liked being a single woman. Because it was far better than being with someone who was all wrong for me. And then one day, and I wish I could remember the exact day, I was actually able to say that I am HAPPY. My life is good. I have a marvelous family, fantastic friends and a truly good life. (Sure, I bawled my eyes out watching "In Style: Celebrity Weddings" but who doesn't? I didn't even want to get married!) Despite that, I was a happy young woman. I was in my mid-20s, ready to kick some ass and take some names.
Then, some months later, I met The Man. But that's another entry.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
Captain Save-a ...
Bunny.
What did you think it would be?
My Man, Jon-Jon, is THE Man. But you knew that already. He has a heart of gold.
When he was living with two roommates last year, one of them got the bright idea that he would take after his uncle and raise bunnies. For food. Never mind that Mark had never ever raised animals with the end result of making them a meal. Or that he lived in a suburban neighborhood. Or that he just sucks big balls for wanting to mate bunnies to end up slaughtering. Yah, I said it. (And that's not even why I think he sucks. But you'll soon understand.) For whatever reason, Mark wanted to raise two bunnies and turn them into fifty. Or something like that.
Their other roommate, Mario, was indifferent to the whole idea. He is also related to the uncle that raises bunnies (he's Mark's cousin) but didn't give two hoots what Mark did. Anyway, Jon-Jon had no idea that this hairbrain idea was cookin' in Mark's head until, one day, there were two bunnies in their backyard, like so -
"Awwww." Of course, how could I not think that as soon as I saw them? Well, they don't like people. They scurried away as soon as they smelled, heard, or saw you. I admired the bunnies from afar.
They didn't have a cage, they just roamed free like some dog named Sparky. They ate the grass but since Mario wasn't much of a gardener (it's his house,) it was fine. Weeks went by and they just lived in the backyard. Then Jon-Jon would repeatedly tell me that he would come home and see their water bottles empty and no food in their dish. Soon, he was feeding them. Then they ran out of food. Then Jon-Jon was buying their food and treats.
One night, probably after six months went by, we were on the phone and I started laughing, "Baby, you are a bunny owner!"
"No I'm not!" He exlaimed. This is a man who loves dogs and, to this day, tries to convince me that we should own a german shepard because surely I will think they are cuddly. I'm still not convinced.
"My love," I said, "no matter how prissy you may think it sounds, it's true. You are a bunny owner."
Fast forward to the beginning of this month. The bunnies have been there for nearly a year. Jon-Jon moves out. But he still picks up his bills from his old place. And for the past two weeks, he's dropped by and picked up his mail. Out of habit, he checked on the bunnies. They didn't have food or water.
It's been 100+ degrees lately.
I was beside myself when he told me. I wanted to kick Mark in the nuts on behalf of the bunnies. Of course, Jon-Jon filled their water bottles and gave them food. But he can't visit every couple of days and the bunnies need to be fed and given water almost every day. Then last Saturday, he told me that he had to wash his hands clean of the bunnies. He said we can't worry about them anymore b/c we just can't.
I felt like a criminal b/c I knew animal cruelty was happening. Look, you may think I'm twisted but I can't throw stones at anyone that wants to eat bunnies. I eat cow, pig, chicken and fish. But I canNOT deal with starving an animal and letting them die such a horrible slow death. For crap's sake! Not only does that make you a royal prick but everyone knows a starved animal does NOT TASTE GOOD. I know, NOT the point. But still. You have to admit.
I called the Humane Society. Then I realized that if Animal Control came, Mario and Mike would think Jon-Jon, the bunny whisperer, narked and be pissed. So I didn't make a report. But I did ask the operator about a bunny's health and she said that there is no way they would survive in this kind of heat w/o water or food. Right. How could they?
I then begged Jon-Jon to ask Mario (b/c Mark sucks SO BAD he is hardly home and Mario has been the one sort of taking care of them) if we could have the bunnies. "Please! Just lie and say we want them! We'll take them to the SPCA." No tears but after much begging, he relented and called Mario. Mario told him OF COURSE we can have the bunnies. Whooohooo!
The End. A Happily-Ever-After, if you will.
Well, not quite. After work today, Jon-Jon went to Mario's house and helped him catch the semi-wild bunnies. They make no sounds but they scratched up Jon-Jon plenty to show that they do not like to be handled. Once captured, Jon-Jon and Mario regrouped. I don't know what transpired but the bunnies are now on their way to the Uncle's farm. Jon-Jon said they will get fattened up and, um, go to that big crockpot in the sky.
Hey, I tried. And at least on the farm, it's the Uncle's livelihood to raise animals for food so he knows better than to let them run out of food or water. Because that's MEAN. And just bad business for him.
OK, so the story isn't exactly warm and fuzzy or have a happy ending. But Jon-Jon did take them out of a terrible environment. The bunnies are going to be reunited with their brothers and sisters on the farm. And, well, eventually go to bunny heaven.
What did you think it would be?
My Man, Jon-Jon, is THE Man. But you knew that already. He has a heart of gold.
When he was living with two roommates last year, one of them got the bright idea that he would take after his uncle and raise bunnies. For food. Never mind that Mark had never ever raised animals with the end result of making them a meal. Or that he lived in a suburban neighborhood. Or that he just sucks big balls for wanting to mate bunnies to end up slaughtering. Yah, I said it. (And that's not even why I think he sucks. But you'll soon understand.) For whatever reason, Mark wanted to raise two bunnies and turn them into fifty. Or something like that.
Their other roommate, Mario, was indifferent to the whole idea. He is also related to the uncle that raises bunnies (he's Mark's cousin) but didn't give two hoots what Mark did. Anyway, Jon-Jon had no idea that this hairbrain idea was cookin' in Mark's head until, one day, there were two bunnies in their backyard, like so -
"Awwww." Of course, how could I not think that as soon as I saw them? Well, they don't like people. They scurried away as soon as they smelled, heard, or saw you. I admired the bunnies from afar.
They didn't have a cage, they just roamed free like some dog named Sparky. They ate the grass but since Mario wasn't much of a gardener (it's his house,) it was fine. Weeks went by and they just lived in the backyard. Then Jon-Jon would repeatedly tell me that he would come home and see their water bottles empty and no food in their dish. Soon, he was feeding them. Then they ran out of food. Then Jon-Jon was buying their food and treats.
One night, probably after six months went by, we were on the phone and I started laughing, "Baby, you are a bunny owner!"
"No I'm not!" He exlaimed. This is a man who loves dogs and, to this day, tries to convince me that we should own a german shepard because surely I will think they are cuddly. I'm still not convinced.
"My love," I said, "no matter how prissy you may think it sounds, it's true. You are a bunny owner."
Fast forward to the beginning of this month. The bunnies have been there for nearly a year. Jon-Jon moves out. But he still picks up his bills from his old place. And for the past two weeks, he's dropped by and picked up his mail. Out of habit, he checked on the bunnies. They didn't have food or water.
It's been 100+ degrees lately.
I was beside myself when he told me. I wanted to kick Mark in the nuts on behalf of the bunnies. Of course, Jon-Jon filled their water bottles and gave them food. But he can't visit every couple of days and the bunnies need to be fed and given water almost every day. Then last Saturday, he told me that he had to wash his hands clean of the bunnies. He said we can't worry about them anymore b/c we just can't.
I felt like a criminal b/c I knew animal cruelty was happening. Look, you may think I'm twisted but I can't throw stones at anyone that wants to eat bunnies. I eat cow, pig, chicken and fish. But I canNOT deal with starving an animal and letting them die such a horrible slow death. For crap's sake! Not only does that make you a royal prick but everyone knows a starved animal does NOT TASTE GOOD. I know, NOT the point. But still. You have to admit.
I called the Humane Society. Then I realized that if Animal Control came, Mario and Mike would think Jon-Jon, the bunny whisperer, narked and be pissed. So I didn't make a report. But I did ask the operator about a bunny's health and she said that there is no way they would survive in this kind of heat w/o water or food. Right. How could they?
I then begged Jon-Jon to ask Mario (b/c Mark sucks SO BAD he is hardly home and Mario has been the one sort of taking care of them) if we could have the bunnies. "Please! Just lie and say we want them! We'll take them to the SPCA." No tears but after much begging, he relented and called Mario. Mario told him OF COURSE we can have the bunnies. Whooohooo!
The End. A Happily-Ever-After, if you will.
Well, not quite. After work today, Jon-Jon went to Mario's house and helped him catch the semi-wild bunnies. They make no sounds but they scratched up Jon-Jon plenty to show that they do not like to be handled. Once captured, Jon-Jon and Mario regrouped. I don't know what transpired but the bunnies are now on their way to the Uncle's farm. Jon-Jon said they will get fattened up and, um, go to that big crockpot in the sky.
Hey, I tried. And at least on the farm, it's the Uncle's livelihood to raise animals for food so he knows better than to let them run out of food or water. Because that's MEAN. And just bad business for him.
OK, so the story isn't exactly warm and fuzzy or have a happy ending. But Jon-Jon did take them out of a terrible environment. The bunnies are going to be reunited with their brothers and sisters on the farm. And, well, eventually go to bunny heaven.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
It's too damn hot to knit
But if I can manage to do so, I'm going to knit accessories that I can rock but won't make me perspire.
With that said, I give you ....
THE PURSE:
This is my first attempt at making a purse, my second time felting (for you non-knitters, "felting" means washing/drying the yarn project so it shrinks and the stitches are no longer visible.)
With that said, I give you ....
THE PURSE:
This is my first attempt at making a purse, my second time felting (for you non-knitters, "felting" means washing/drying the yarn project so it shrinks and the stitches are no longer visible.) I like it a lot. I think it's because the handles are pretty bad ass. I also like it because there's no lining. Lulu don't do no sewing.
In case you can't picture it working with an outfit, here you go:
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
A trip down memory lane
Last Friday, The Man and I had dinner with my old roomie, MsLips, and Rog. ML and I were roommates back in 2000. How we were put together was a bit like The Real World ... we were four strangers that were thrown together by our university to live in a townhouse on Treasure Island. ML and I only lived together for five months (she graduated mid-school year) but we ended up friends and are still friends six years later.
Our Significant Others (The Man and Rog) were not our Significant Others six years ago. But we're all connected. Let's see if you can follow:
When ML and I were roommates, we threw a Christmas party. You get a few crashers. Like Neil who was brought by someone who got an invite. ML ended up dating Neil. When ML moved back to Southern California, she made sure Neil and I became friends because 1) I ended up getting him a job and 2) it was a good way for her to keep tabs on him (not in a jealous girlfriend way, more of a smart girlfriend way.) Neil and I started to hang out and party a lot. Neil also partied with his best friend, Lorena. By default, I partied with Lorena. A lot. Lorena had another best friend. It was The Man. I met The Man when we celebrated one of Lorena's birthdays. And that's how it all started for us :)
But what about Rog? OK. I met him back in 1997. He was The Ex's roomie. Also, when I became a single gal, I was footloose and fancy free. I had quite a few party cliques. Rog and his girlfriend at that time were one of them. I used to joke and say they were my new boyfriend and took them everywhere with me. One of those parties I dragged them to was ML's birthday party at a club when she came to the Bay Area for a visit. ML's party was also The Man and my first date.
A good long time after ML's birthday party and after inevitable break ups, ML and Rog started dating. And they have been dating for around three years now.
So did I lose you?
It was nice to see ML and Rog last week. I had so much history with everyone at the table. I met Rog when I was 18 years old. I met ML when I was transitioning from being a college kid with a boyfriend to a single grown woman (cue "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.") And I met The Man when it was time for me to meet my true love four years ago. So there you have it!
We were all going down memory lane and, now looking back, it's so funny how good all of us were about editing anything having to do with ex's. See, we were ALL with different people way back when. So we naturally omitted them whenever we reminsced about a good story. Like when Rog and I were first learning how to snowboard and we both got so pissed about how pathetic we were and tired from falling on our duffs, we busted out cigarettes halfway down the mountain and just smoked away our stress. And cursed. A lot.
It was fun to remember our history together. I partied hard with these people :) I bonded with these people. They know me at different stages of my life. ML and I, in those short five months, confided in each other, went through our very last semester in college together, cooked together and took smoke breaks together ;) What's funny is we actually became closer when she moved back to Southern California.
We haven't been so great about keeping in touch the past couple of years. Boyfriends, new jobs, school and life, in general, does that sometimes. So it was really nice to be able to have dinner with old friends and take a trip down memory lane.
Of course, you can only go so far when you realize how memories like being with the wrong people (which is why they are "ex's") make you want to bust a bitch* and be very happy to be in the present!
*I sincerely hope you know that means make a U-turn. B/c that could have been quite a pornographic reference if you thought otherwise.
Our Significant Others (The Man and Rog) were not our Significant Others six years ago. But we're all connected. Let's see if you can follow:
When ML and I were roommates, we threw a Christmas party. You get a few crashers. Like Neil who was brought by someone who got an invite. ML ended up dating Neil. When ML moved back to Southern California, she made sure Neil and I became friends because 1) I ended up getting him a job and 2) it was a good way for her to keep tabs on him (not in a jealous girlfriend way, more of a smart girlfriend way.) Neil and I started to hang out and party a lot. Neil also partied with his best friend, Lorena. By default, I partied with Lorena. A lot. Lorena had another best friend. It was The Man. I met The Man when we celebrated one of Lorena's birthdays. And that's how it all started for us :)
But what about Rog? OK. I met him back in 1997. He was The Ex's roomie. Also, when I became a single gal, I was footloose and fancy free. I had quite a few party cliques. Rog and his girlfriend at that time were one of them. I used to joke and say they were my new boyfriend and took them everywhere with me. One of those parties I dragged them to was ML's birthday party at a club when she came to the Bay Area for a visit. ML's party was also The Man and my first date.
A good long time after ML's birthday party and after inevitable break ups, ML and Rog started dating. And they have been dating for around three years now.
So did I lose you?
It was nice to see ML and Rog last week. I had so much history with everyone at the table. I met Rog when I was 18 years old. I met ML when I was transitioning from being a college kid with a boyfriend to a single grown woman (cue "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.") And I met The Man when it was time for me to meet my true love four years ago. So there you have it!
We were all going down memory lane and, now looking back, it's so funny how good all of us were about editing anything having to do with ex's. See, we were ALL with different people way back when. So we naturally omitted them whenever we reminsced about a good story. Like when Rog and I were first learning how to snowboard and we both got so pissed about how pathetic we were and tired from falling on our duffs, we busted out cigarettes halfway down the mountain and just smoked away our stress. And cursed. A lot.
It was fun to remember our history together. I partied hard with these people :) I bonded with these people. They know me at different stages of my life. ML and I, in those short five months, confided in each other, went through our very last semester in college together, cooked together and took smoke breaks together ;) What's funny is we actually became closer when she moved back to Southern California.
We haven't been so great about keeping in touch the past couple of years. Boyfriends, new jobs, school and life, in general, does that sometimes. So it was really nice to be able to have dinner with old friends and take a trip down memory lane.
Of course, you can only go so far when you realize how memories like being with the wrong people (which is why they are "ex's") make you want to bust a bitch* and be very happy to be in the present!
*I sincerely hope you know that means make a U-turn. B/c that could have been quite a pornographic reference if you thought otherwise.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
Taco Hell
I enjoyh Taco Bell. My favorite entree is the Nachos Bellgrande with guacamole, hold the beans.
Today, I was a good little coworker and went on a Taco Bell run for my colleagues. This particular po'dunk Taco Bell didn't have a drive thru so I had the pleasure of walking in and soaking up the ambience. It was typical Taco Bell environment - questionable cleanliness. Waited a couple of minutes in line and then finally put in an order. (I would totally shout out the location but there are a bunch on El Camino Real ... so just beware!)
The cashier had a hacking cough. It was pretty bad but he was polite enough to at least cough in his sleeve. But it was pretty bad. A few things were running through my mind. "Well, he's not preparing the food. He just touched my cash and receipt." As well as, "It's not my food." (Horrible, right? I do have a conscience, though. I would have gone somewhere else if he was the preparer.)
After I ordered, I waited off to the side, wondering if anyone would say anything about his really bad cough. No one did, including me, I admit. His coughing grew worse, becoming more frequent and I saw his eyes were watering. Finally, after ringing up a few more people, he motioned for one of the food preparers to take his place and he walked to the back of the employee area.
I shouldn't have watched him but I couldn't help myself.
I get a clear view of him spitting into a big trash can in the back. It was a cross between spitting and vomiting. I wanted to look away but I didn't. He just kept spitting up. Again, I looked around to see if anyone else saw him. No one else saw. He finally finished and he grabbed a papertowel to wipe his mouth and hands. Oops, nope. He wasn't done yet. He spat up some more. I waited to see if he washed his hands. But all I saw was him wiping his mouth and his hands with a papertowel.
Before I could see if he would go back to the register, my coworkers' food was ready. I totally lost my appetite at that point.
OK, so he didn't touch the food. But still. The hacking, the spitting up and then the seeming absence of hand washing.
UGH.
Are you wondering if I told my coworkers? I did. I wasn't as detailed but I told them because I felt obligated. I did stress, though, that he didn't touch their food. Naturally, they were a little grossed out. But they still ate their bean burritos and ultimate chalupa.
Today, I was a good little coworker and went on a Taco Bell run for my colleagues. This particular po'dunk Taco Bell didn't have a drive thru so I had the pleasure of walking in and soaking up the ambience. It was typical Taco Bell environment - questionable cleanliness. Waited a couple of minutes in line and then finally put in an order. (I would totally shout out the location but there are a bunch on El Camino Real ... so just beware!)
The cashier had a hacking cough. It was pretty bad but he was polite enough to at least cough in his sleeve. But it was pretty bad. A few things were running through my mind. "Well, he's not preparing the food. He just touched my cash and receipt." As well as, "It's not my food." (Horrible, right? I do have a conscience, though. I would have gone somewhere else if he was the preparer.)
After I ordered, I waited off to the side, wondering if anyone would say anything about his really bad cough. No one did, including me, I admit. His coughing grew worse, becoming more frequent and I saw his eyes were watering. Finally, after ringing up a few more people, he motioned for one of the food preparers to take his place and he walked to the back of the employee area.
I shouldn't have watched him but I couldn't help myself.
I get a clear view of him spitting into a big trash can in the back. It was a cross between spitting and vomiting. I wanted to look away but I didn't. He just kept spitting up. Again, I looked around to see if anyone else saw him. No one else saw. He finally finished and he grabbed a papertowel to wipe his mouth and hands. Oops, nope. He wasn't done yet. He spat up some more. I waited to see if he washed his hands. But all I saw was him wiping his mouth and his hands with a papertowel.
Before I could see if he would go back to the register, my coworkers' food was ready. I totally lost my appetite at that point.
OK, so he didn't touch the food. But still. The hacking, the spitting up and then the seeming absence of hand washing.
UGH.
Are you wondering if I told my coworkers? I did. I wasn't as detailed but I told them because I felt obligated. I did stress, though, that he didn't touch their food. Naturally, they were a little grossed out. But they still ate their bean burritos and ultimate chalupa.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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