I forgot about the sleepless nights.
Specifically, I forgot how sleepless nights affects ME.
The Bun was feeling bad two nights ago. She didn't have a fever but was very close to it and couldn't go to sleep. She would wake up crying. The Man and I both went into her room after we put her down to hold and comfort her. She would fall asleep but then wake back up and cry. Finally, around 11:30 PM, I felt so bad for her that I took her into our room.
One may ask, why did you wait so long? Here's the thing. The Bun has been sleeping in her own room since she was six weeks old. Also, in the past, I tried sleeping w/ her on a futon to comfort her when she didn't feel good. It was a miserable night for both of us. She's used to having her own space to freely move about and I'm used to not being kicked in the head.
So I brought her into our bed and The Man, who usually can sleep through riots and natural disasters, woke up and helped me comfort her. But there was no comfort to be had. She would fall asleep only to wake up an hour or two later. I got up at least four times that night.
It was while working the next day that I realized we just aren't ready for another one. Yet. The Man took a day off so he could take care of the baby. But also because he just wouldn't have been able to function very well at his job. We were BEAT. As I mentioned, I did go to work but I had three cups of coffee. I think it may have been four but I can't remember. Because I was that dead ass tired.
The Man would like another baby and when I think about getting the infant part "over with" by having back to back chillins, it makes sense to me. I have many friends who had kids less than two years apart and they all say while it was hard in the beginning, they're glad they did it because they got the hardest part over with and are enjoying their lives now. Their kids are more independent, they play and keep each other company, and, parents get to sleep! I've received some great advice from friends that have also said I may never feel ready and to just do it. I totally get that and value that they are speaking from personal experience. But I'm going to listen to my instincts and just hold off. So, for right now, The Bun stands alone.
2 comments:
I have the same thoughts about having a second one. In theory, I think it would be WONDERFUL to have them close in age: they can play together, you'll get over the infant stage quicker, etc. BUT, I'm still waking up 2-3 times a night with K (we co-sleep) and there are days when I'm so freaking tired, I just want him to go to daycare :) haha I go back and forth on having a second baby (daily)...and I agree that one is never really "ready"... you just gotta do it. I suppose we're on the "let nature take it's course" path, seeing as how I haven't taken the BC pills my doc gave me after K's birth and we're coming up to 1 year later... so we'll see where things go. Thankfully, though, BFing has kept AF at bay (for now), so I'm banking on the fact that you can't get prego without AF showing up at least once, right? ;)
Yeah, people would often ask why we waited so long to have noah...Ethan and noah are 5 years apart! BUt the truth is Ethan was a BUSY, only child kind of child. he made my uterus shrivel at the thought of another.
I kept waiting for him to be a little more independent, mature...etc.
I think I waited too long. lol Noah was a shock to our lives. We started back at square one. Thank God he is a good baby. When we started talking about a third...I thought I just might slap albert. The truth is, we both knew waiting as long as we did with the boys woul kill us. So, we had planned on close in age kids. "Just like a band-aid" you don't think too much about it, you just do it. HAHAH on us! We NEVER expected 13 months apart....but here we are. I hope those parents that say, "it's easier if they are close in age" are right...because this mama is TIRED!!!
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