Scared

The Man and I know we want another child. We both know that having a sibling is an amazing experience and if we're able to give that to the Bun, we should. And our deadline of when we want to start trying again is fast approaching.  The Man is good to go but I've got a bunch of nerves.
What I'm scare of :
Failing as a mom - I'm scared that my patience is not infinite and that I will turn into the person that snaps at her husband and/or kids. I don't ever want to be that woman. I'd like to believe I'm pretty simple in my needs and one of them is having downtime. The other is sleep. Those two factors make a drastic difference in my attitude and both are practically non existent when one is a new mom.
Strain on my marriage - Maybe we won't snap at our kids. But I've seen couples become less lovey dovey because it takes effort. Or they're just downright mean to each other. I will admit, there are times when The Man and I are short with each other or have gotten into fights that really weren't necessary. We get more sleep now because The Bun sleeps through the night but it was rough when we were lacking rest.
Money - We're not rich. Having another baby scares the bajeezus after me because our budget is just so. Any additions are going to cause us to move from comfortable to tight. At the very least.
Body - Oh boy, it took nearly two years for me to lose the baby weight. And while my body is not the same shape, I'm overjoyed I was able to do it. But I'm still 8 lbs from goal weight which is the weight I was for most of my 20s. My weightloss has been very challenging. Every pound makes a difference on my 5'1" frame. I've written this before but I believe in the whole theory of bodies having "fat memory" and the longer I hold onto this weight, the more my body believes this is my normal weight and the harder it is to get these pounds off. Having another baby will not make this easier.
Career - I used to be able to easily work late or on the weekends. I used to have no problem taking on additional work that took additional time. I could easily volunteer for things or make time to get my work done. Now it is very difficult to work after hours and, if I can swing it, it takes a bit of planning. Even with a strong support system consisting of my husband, parents and Ava's day care! How crazy will it be with another baby? Stupid crazy. How will I be able to excel in my career if I'm going to spread myself even thinner?!
Time - There already seems to not be enough of it. 
These are just a few of the worries that I can recall. And for each "objections", I've either heard the rebuttle or have said it myself. Note that it does NOT help when people tell me women have been doing this since the beginning of time. But what does help me is to draw upon the examples and experiences of those around me. I see my family and friends sucessfully balance this crazy juggling that most mothers do.
Also, when it comes down to it, I try to always remember the adage, be in the moment. I don't want to waste any time fretting about what I want but don't have or what could be but isn't. It's hard because I'm a planner. And a worrier. I want to make sure I do everything to be sucessful. And, if I'm not sure, it seems like a big risk. I've discovered that when it comes to things like this, sometimes you have to just do it. And that scares the $*#% of me because I don't want anything to blow up in my face. The unknown, the things I have no control over, is so scary to me.
But I was scared to have The Bun. And the joy she has brought to our lives, the appreciation she has instilled in me ... all the stress and worry is worth it. She has made me a more giving, loving, and over all better person. Along with my husband and parents by showing me what LOVE looks like. And they all really have done that! Plus, she is growing up to be an awesome kid! (Another worry - how will I ever be blessed to have another baby as awesome as her? It's not possible! See? Worry, worry, worry.)
Yup, I'm still scared. Dare I say, scared $%^#less. It's true. I'm scared to fail, I'm scared to wreck the current wonderful life I have, I'm scared of so many things. But there is something inside of me that says that if we are able to have another child, we should do it.  Believe me, I can have a conversation all by myself that goes around and around indefinitely and even though I've pretty much talked myself out of it, what it comes down to it is being scared of the unknown. And that's no way to live. I would have never fallen in love w/ The Man. I would have never chosen my career. I would have never left my home.
So we're going to just do it. Or, at least, try. (Not yet, though, so no emails please!!!!) Call me bat$%^# crazy but that's the plan. Well, don't call me bat$%^# crazy but I would understand why you would think it.