Friday, June 12, 2009

To Doula, or not to Doula

I think each mama-to-be has her own process. As I've mentioned before, I am not a woman who was born to be a mom and had done preliminary research prior to getting pregnant. Meaning, I didn't know the ins and outs of pregnancy, birth and raising a child before deciding to have a baby. I drew upon information gathered from other people over the years but had not done major research like I did when writing my thesis.
Because I was in college for so long (six and a half years!) I tend examine my behavior during those years because it's still sort of how I operate. For instance, I was definitely a crammer rather than someone who got the reading done way in advance (plus, with grad school, we had so much reading that there was no chance to get ahead.) Lucky for me, I think nine months is a fantastic amount of time for me to figure a lot of things out.
Way before I got pregnant, my philosophy of giving birth was KNOCK ME THE EFF OUT. No really, I did not give a hoot about the process, I just want to wake up and have my baby next to me, ready for me to hold. When I became pregnant, I still have this philosophy. In fact, a coworker who had recently given birth was sharing her birth story with us and said she did not want to take any drugs if possible and she kept telling herself during the most painful moments that "every contraction brought her closer to the baby." And I'll be honest, I thought "EFF that, I want nothing to do w/ contractions and letting nature take its course, I want that over as quickly as possible."
Well, ladies, it looks like someone has an undercover granola side to her.
I don't feel so strongly enough about birthing methods (like one is right and one is very wrong!) to preach or judge anyone for choosing something different than the route I plan to take. I mean, I wanted to be knocked the eff out, remember? I will not judge anyone else's birthing or mothering methods because we all are just trying to do and be our best. Anyway, I've read a few books, seen a documentary, am in the process of taking several different classes and talked to those in the medical professional, those that take a more holistic approach, and very granolaesque people. I've pieced a little bit of my former beliefs along with what I've researched (I'm planning on reading one more book!) and have started to come up with a birth plan. Which in itself is controversial! I know that some people think birth plans are crap. I mean, depending on what state you're in when you're finally in labor, that plan could be torn to pieces! But if things were ideal and calm, I will have a birth plan to give to everyone and their mama when I arrive in the hospital. In addition, here are a few things that I've decided. And I fully recognize that I could change my mind because I have four more months! But so far, these are some of my requests:
1. Doula: I found one that I like but she may be on vacation in October. If she is, I don't know if I will interview more. A doula can run between $400 - $1,500. The Man said that he will respect and enforce my wishes and I could pay him half that :)
There is something comforting about having someone who has enough knowledge to be able to stand up for me to the medical staff, especially when I'm going to be at my most vulnerable. I don't view the med staff as the enemy, but because I will be giving birth in the hospital, who knows what doctors and nurses will be on duty and even if the same ones will remain on duty by the time I give birth.
2. Hospital Birth: I actually considered a home birth. I'm telling you, things freakin' change when you've got a fetus hooked up to you!! :) But in one more books (I won't plug it but if any of you want book recommendations, let me know because I like this one) after it states the benefits of home birth, it also said something like if you're not 100% sure this is what you want and if it's your first pregnancy, maybe it's not the best thing for you. Because you have nothing to compare it to and you could be very nervous. Oh heck, even though the environment sounds ideal, the thought of birthing at home makes me so nervous! So I decided that if I could and either The Man or a doula was present at home, I would try to labor as much as possible at home and then go to the hospital. Which, thank goodness, is less than five minutes away!
3. Drugs: Oh the drugs. I guess I've been around a lot more people who have the holistic approach because I've been (gently) discouraged from taking drugs. And there are great reasons not to take drugs which I will not list. I take all the information I've been given under consideration. But when it comes down to it, I'm indifferent when it comes to the epidural. I have a low tolerance for pain and I know myself enough to know that I do not want birth to be a traumatizing experience. I know, I know, women forget and that's why so many have more than one. I am going to ask the doctor if it's possible to have what I think is called an epi-light. It's when the patient can control the dosage amount depending upon the pain. If at all possible, I do not want Pitocin unless it is absolutely necessary.
4. A Natural Birth: If at all possible, I would like to avoid a C-section. I know that an epidural and certainly pitocin could very well lead to a Cesarean section. Which is why I have to think even more about the epidural. But the pain! Ahh, we'll see. And as with everything related to birth, there could be an emergency situation where I will need to have a C-section. But I'm going to try to do everything possible to avoid it.
There, of course, are many details to a birth plan but these are just the big ticket items ;)

I've also started to think about what I would like to do when the baby comes home which could be considered granola. But I'll share that later. As with how I've approached this entire new state of our lives, I'm taking baby steps. If I don't, I'll get overwhelmed and go on strike! And I'm sure the Man and Sticky Bun wouldn't appreciated that. (Fingers crossed that my potential Doula will be in town during my approximate birth time. She'll let me know on Monday.)

4 comments:

Veronica Milan said...

Ah...you've seen The business of being born huh?

That shit will scare you away from hospitals and make you RUN.

Yes, I say take it ONE step at a time..cause seriously, only you know how much pain you can handle and even with a birth plan, God controls your situation and boom...next thing you know, you are having a C section like the lady on that film. :)

It's great that you can list your wants...I went in as ignorant as one can be.
I felt not ONE thing. yup, epidural.
I've discussed homebirth with ALbert with a second one too. (Not pregnant, just planning).

jen said...

I think you're doing the right thing by researching and tweaking your plan as you get farther along in your pregnancy.

I had a woman's studies teacher in college who was a doula and I loved her approach to the birthing process, which she discussed in class. Since then I've been very keen on having one attend the birth of any of my (future) kids. Plus, anything that helps me not have a c-section or an episiotomy is something I want with me during the birthing process.

Good luck with the rest of your planning. :)

demondoll said...

I really admire how much research you're doing!!! And I know you'll find the right method(s) for you and Baby :-D

ElleDee said...

The doula I interviewed is unavailable around the time of my expected due date :( Not sure what I'm going to do. There are a couple of other possibilities (I have two referrals) but I'm reconsidering. A lot will have to do w/ how The Man takes to the birthing classes.