What are you really doing?

I've been holding some things back because I wondered if it was okay that I acted or felt this way. And then I saw this video:


I don't think I've adored Dooce.com more than I do today. Here's the thing. I feel so blessed to be pregnant. I know this is a gift and I'm so thankful that we will be adding to our family. I also lean towards paranoia and am constantly worried every day about Sticky Bun. In fact, right now, I'm actually concerned because I haven't felt her kick and we're now at 20 weeks. The Man swore he felt it the other day but I'm trying not to work myself up because I don't think I've felt her kick.

I beat myself up if I forget to take my prenatal pills because JEEZUS, those pills are to her what spinach is to Popeye! So I take them every day, and the days I've missed could probably be counted on one hand. And that is since October because I heard it was good for the baby to take them even before you try to conceive. See? Spinach to Popeye.

But there are certain things I will not do or have not changed. For instance, I refuse to buy more pregnancy books. I refuse to work myself up on the different ways I can kill myself or my baby. I have one very good book that The Man researched and bought for me. I read it cover to cover when I first learned I was pregnant. I refer to it every once in a while when I have a question or am curious about something. I also read the newsletter Kaiser sends me every week to know the progress of Sticky Bun and I share it with The Man and sometimes my friends. But that's about it. That's not to say I will not stock up on parenting books. I've learned from our pups that we (The Man and I) have to stay educated and figure out how to stay in charge. Especially if we have another one because that means we will not out number them and it's man on man defense!

But back to the pregnancy.

Here are my dirty little secrets. And I bet you I will sound defensive but hey, I'm airing them out. Most of my friends who talk to me on a daily basis know but it's not something I would have shared. But that video made me realize that I'm not alone and by golly, these habits don't necessarily make me a bad mama!

1. I drink iced coffee just about every day. That's right. Caffeinated. I sometimes drink decaf but believe me, there is a bloody difference. I figure that iced coffee is also watered down but the doctor SAID that I can have one cup of coffee a day.
2. My vice is McDonald's sausage biscuit meals. That's right, w/ the hashbrown and the iced coffee I mentioned in #1.
3. I walk 3-5 times a week. I should do more like walk every day. It usually goes towards 5 but since Piko has had her eye problem, we've been staying in. But I'm now doing prenatal yoga so that's one extra activity a week. And I usually feel like walking afterwards.
4. I was doing boot camp until my second trimester. Some people may have thought that was utterly ridiculous if not dangerous. I was just trying to keep up my stamina. I had become a fairly active person prior to becoming pregnant and I didn't want to blow up.
5. I am horrible about eating my veggies. Right now I'm drinking a smoothie that I learned to make that sneaks in spinach because I won't get my veggies in, otherwise. (By the way, it's 1c frozen mango, 1c water, 2 heaping handfuls of spinach and 1 banana. It looks like baby poo but it's delicious!) I'm hoping that once the weather heats up, I'll be more inclined to want my salads again.
6. I eat lunch meat about once a week WITHOUT warming up the meat.
7. I eat sprouts. Kidding. In the pregnancy world, that is basically like taking heroine. Damn things are deadly.

I'm sure I commit other pregnancy sins but those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm not proud of them, particularly the breakfast weakness, but dammit, they are good. I've gained about 10 pounds total. I think that's normal but I guess the doc will tell me in a couple of weeks.

I like being pregnant. Granted, I'm not one of those mommies that relish in it and love it to pieces. But I like it. It's been a good one and I'm really excited about the end result - baby in my arms! I could, however, do without the gas, the lack of sleep and my pee coming out in a trickle. But I've embraced pregnancy, I LOVE my baby and I've certainly learned to like maternity clothes. Bless the soul that came up with stretchy waist lines and airy dresses. That's right, I'm working the baby bump ;)