Monday, June 13, 2011

Bound to happen

I think I knew it was eventually going to happen. I have been sensitive about it my ENTIRE life. Since I'm the heaviest I've ever been (excluding pregnancy,) even though this is also the most content I've ever been, it was bound to happen. It just took someone I considered very important to say it AKA hurt my feelings.
Is it reasonable? No. I know these feelings are very unreasonable. I mean, I know I need to lose weight. I'm 10 lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight and 20 lbs heavier than what was my average weight in my 20s. On a 5'1" frame, this is a lot. It the difference of 2-4 dress sizes.
Knowing all this, it still hurt a lot when someone said that I should try exercise DVDs. We weren't even discussing MY weight. I wasn't bitching about it at that time or anything. But we had just gone to a party in which all the women were thin. No joke. They were all a few years older, had multiple children yet about my height and far thinner than I.
Oh, don't think I didn't notice. And evidently, so did this other person. While we never brought that particular point up, I imagine that's what got our conversation there on me.
Do I think this person was unintentionally rude? Yes. But this person has no idea that my feelings got hurt. And I don't think I'm entirely in the right because while it was rude, it's not like I haven't said I wanted to lose weight.  I do want and need to lose weight. I know this. And it's true.
It just hurts when someone else mentions it first.

2 comments:

ElleDee said...

Bless your heart. It did hurt and a nice fist to said person's stomach would have felt good.

jen said...

I would've cried. How insensitive.

:( I hate baby weight. Hate that it's in weird places and that it's sooo hard to lose. I feel your pain.