Starting a new New Year's Eve tradition

The Bun has slept in her own room since she was six weeks old. This is probably why we all (The Man, me and The Bun) sleep better ... This is what we're all accustomed to doing.
Side note: No, I'm not even going to touch the whole family bed versus own room debate, this is just what works well for us.
Anyhoo.
We decided that it would be a treat for The Bun and a nice way to ring in the New Year - sleeping together in our family/living room downstairs. We pulled out the sofa bed (which, by the way, is very comfy and we paid extra to make sure this was the case!) and made it up so we can ring in 2013 among all our Christmas decorations before we take them all down.
It's way more fun than it sounds. See?


Gone are the days of partying to ring in the new year. To be quite honest, it's been a very long time since I've done that. I know that my opinions can always change but I've found that I'm much more of a homebody and love being warm and ASLEEP. This is my perfect way of celebrating the new year:)

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The most wonderful time of the year

December has been so busy. This year, especially. I felt like I could hardly enjoy it. And, for the first time, I really disliked how early the days got dark. But despite all my complaints (and aforementioned disappointments) my love for the holidays prevailed. It was wonderful. Here's why, in a snapshot. Well, more like several!

Birthday fun with a fellow Sagittarius:

Daddy's birthday dinner:

Visiting family in Clovis and admiring the Christmas lights:

The Bun's first time in a Debutante Ball:

Caroling for the first time:

The first Christmas in which The Bun appreciated and loved opening gifts!

As I post these photos, I realize that there were so many firsts this year. So many blessings this season. So much to be thankful for. And I am.

It's been too long ...

... since I last wrote. I can't go into too many details but, basically, I've had a personal project going on for two months. I tried very hard to not let it affect my work and home life but I only succeeded in one so my home life suffered a bit. If it all shook out well, it would have been worth it in the long run.
But it didn't.
I'm so disappointed and don't think I have the energy, emotion and certainly time to start all over again. My family is most important. Not to mention my mental health:p
I'm thankful for all the other blessings I have in my life. I'm thankful my loved ones are still here and I've not suffered through deaths or devastating illnesses. I'm trying to maintain a positive perspective because I know there is so much good in my life.
But.
I'm so tired of being disappointed and feeling like a failure. I hate feeling second rate or just plain not good enough. I'm so tired of having to compromise my happiness and feeling of fulfillment for security.
Ready for the pity party? I received the news of said project's failure, MY failure, on my birthday. I stayed in bed and cried for most of the day.
See, it's not only about this particular project. It was the accumulation of all the many disappointments I've had this year. While I've also had many blessings, I was overwhelmed by just how many kicks to the groin (punches to the boob?) I've felt this year.
Ive prayed for patience. and understanding. i know better things are in store but when? Do I continue to try? I am usually a woman of action but I'm wondering if I'm supposed to wait for something to fall into lap. Not how I typically roll but I can't continue to do this. I'm exhausted putting forth all this effort to only be smacked down. Stick a fork in 2012. Please.
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