13 hours of OH. MY. GAWD.

Look how cute and inconspicuous it is

I have this really cool app on my iPhone. It's attractive, fun and, best of all, it does what I want it to do. It tracks my lady time. It also estimates when I'm ovulating and fertile. Now that I'm not on birth control, I have no way of tracking my Power Week. [Insert Superman theme, if you will.]
Really, it's too darn cute. There is a banner held up by butterflies which floats serenely across the screen (how could it not be serene?) that reads, "Period Day 3" or "10 days until Period" or whatever it may be. I showed The Man after telling him all this because he thinks I sometimes get too excited over nothing or I'm easily amused (to be fair, I am) and, after seeing it, he replied, "It really is a very nice app!"
I don't lead folks astray.
Anyway, I don't look at it very often. In fact, this past Monday, I thought to myself, "Hmm, am I late? Because I could swear that I should have my period by now." I opened my handy app because, after all, this is its purpose, and saw the banner held by butterflies float across the screen with the writing, "5 days late."
Say what?
SAY WHAT?
My heart flip-flopped. I know that we were planning for this. I mean, this was why I no longer took birth control, right? Letting nature take its course, right? Sure. But HOLY CRAP. We did it. Again.
I, of course, sprinted straight to The Man and shoved my phone in his face and yelled, "I'm late!" Let me just say that yet again, I failed to present him with this kind of big news in a thoughtful and creative manner. I always mean to and even daydream of how I would do it. But no, I just damn near smack him over the head with it. Like this.
Anyway, I saw his face as he processed the information. First wondering if I meant I was late for an appointment. Or a play date I had scheduled way back when. Then I saw his expression change from puzzled to a face of joy.
"Right on!"
Yes, that's definitely a statement you want to hear from your significant other. On the other hand, this is what I was saying:
"Oh my gawd, what are we going to do? How are we going to sleep? How am I going to sleep?? I'm the one who can't sleep! How am I going to get two kids ready in the morning and myself and get them to day care or their grandparents AND get to work????"
I kid you not, I was shaking.
Being a parent is a complicated thing. You want it. It's awesome. It's rewarding. Yet it is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
I couldn't sleep that night. My mind raced, thinking of how I would manage it all. What's my game plan? I know that we can do it but how will we do it? I'm a planner. I can't control a lot but I will prepare everything I possibly can.
Then I got my period the next morning.
I was disappointed. Sure, I had worried all through the night but we did it! We were going to have a baby.  For roughly 13 hours, I thought I was going to bring a baby into this world in less than a year. I thought about doctors' appointments, eating better, preparing The Bun, all that stuff.
But it's OK. It's not our time yet. And the lesson to be learned from all this? You really should download the app. It's pretty cool.