Saturday, March 03, 2012

Latest obsession: Makeup. How old am I, anyway?!

I'm acting like a school girl. Lately I've been fixated on makeup. Specifically, eye makeup. I've even started a little section on this blog to link to other blogs that talk about fashion and makeup.
I know exactly when it started. It was mid-February and I was really upset that my favorite mascara was discontinued. [If you could give two craps about makeup, you'll want to skip this paragraph. Or this whole entry, for that matter.] I didn't wear much makeup - foundation (Bare Escentuals Bare Minerals & Mineral Veil), blush, and mascara. The two I never leave home without is my foundation and mascara. So having my Clinique Waterproof Mascara discontinued rocked my world.
"You've got to be kidding me," you say. I wish. My eyelashes are fickle son-of-a-biscuits. Not only are they straight but they actually point downward. So I curl them. The thing is, most mascaras are too wet and straighten out the curl and I'm stuck with straight lashes. I found that I needed waterproof because it was usually tacky but the only one that really kept the curl was Clinique Waterproof Mascara.
When I learned it had been discontinued, I lamented in a FaceBook status update. That's when I got all sorts of suggestions. Having been disappointed by many drugstore mascaras in the past (and drugstores having poor return policies), I decided to buy the Lancome Hypnose. For $26. Which was nearly double what I paid for my old mascara. And THAT'S when I became obsessed with eye makeup. Drugstore makeup. Why? Because, while I make a decent living, the following (but not limited to) deplete my income: day care, necessities for a 2 year old, property taxes, minivan payments, care for 2 pups, groceries, utility bills, and more. Sadly, I'm not even the bread winner. The Man pays a little bit more in our household bills. I can't invest in nor am I interested in high-falutin' makeup. Thus my fascination with drugstore makeup. Especially after all the online research I've done which resulted in me finding fashion editors, writers and bloggers stating that there are many high quality drugstore makeup products on the market now. Right on, right on.
In the past month, I have bought four types of eyeliner, BB Cream, eye primer,three brushes, two lip glosses and concealer. The only reason I haven't bought mascara, what started this all, is because I am determined to use my $26 mascara until it is all done. Then I'll try drugstore mascara!
 My internet searches in finding the best rated drugstore eye makeup also led me to "how to" videos on YouTube. I've always wanted to wear eyeliner but was intimidated so I hardly ever wore it. And, if I did, I would painstakingly put it in only to have people tell me later that they never knew I was wearing any. I wore brown so that it was subtle. Evidently, it was extremely subtle.
For the past week, I've worn what I think is much more dramatic eyeliner every day and, although I'm not content with how it looks just yet, I figured I should keep practicing until it's perfect.
Obsessed, I tell you.
It sounds silly to get all worked up from having my mascara discontinued. But I think there's a bigger picture. See, I completely identified with one of the bloggers I now follow (she's #14) who described herself as, "A new mommy working on getting her sexy back." My baby is two years old. Which is about how long it took for me to get to prebaby weight. And, frankly, I hadn't felt sexy in a very long time. Probably three years. Because I wasn't one of the fortunate women who felt sexy while pregnant. Three years is a long time to not feel the least bit attractive. A friend said it may also have to do with breastfeeding. She said that it was really hard for her to feel sexy while she was bfeeding because she felt like a cow. Reflecting, I think it was probably the weight, the working boobs and lack of sleep that lent to my feelings of unattractiveness.
But now I care. I don't feel like I have to put on makeup, rather, it makes me feel better and I like that I'm finally trying to master something I was uncomfortable with. Sounds so silly but I had always been intimidated by eyeliner and I'm excited that I finally figured out which products I like (if you're curious, it's Prestige pencil eyeliner and Wet n Wild creme eyeliner) and I think that I will eventually perfect an eyeliner technique very soon.
I'm telling you. Like a schoolgirl, for crap's sake. But I don't care. I like it. It's an inexpensive way for me to feel more attractive. Meow.

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