Health & Nutrition

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Randomness

Okay, I hardly ever get tagged for chain whatchamahoos, and then today I got tagged by a stranger (yet fellow knitty head) named V. Here goes -

The rules: Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged need to write on their own blog their own 7 random facts as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven other people and list their names on your blog. Then you leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

7 Random Facts:
1. I can talk about vaginas and penises all day long but will easily vomit if the topic is about poo. I have my limits. Poo is my limit.
2. I'm bad about keeping in touch or just keeping friends, in general. It's horrible. I'm not good about staying in contact with a person if he/she isn't good about it, as well. I have a low tolerance for crap, to boot. No wonder I'm friendly, I have to constantly replenish!
3. My favorite flower used to be a sterling silver (lavender colored) rose. It was the flower I picked for my prom corsage and I loved it so much. But then I gained an appreciation and affection for cymbidium orchids. My dad grows them in almost every color available and I think they are beautiful.
4. I've been a size 2. I've also been a size 9. For a bridesmaid dress, I think I've been a size 12. But those sizes are just jacked up, in general.
5. I hated my hair when it was short. I chopped it off after my high school graduation. I got my heart broken and made the brillian decision to hack off my hair. I guess it was freeing. It was also ass ugly. I looked like a mushroom top (my hair has a lot of volume.) Or a UFO.
6. The prettiest I ever felt - that I can remember - was during my graduation for my M.A. program. I was just so happy to be done and I think it really showed in my pictures. I wasn't even my thinnest! But I liked almost all the photographs from that day. I guess true joy (and relief) can really show through.
7. I'm better at Power Yoga than I am in Hula. I wish it was reversed. It's just more impressive to be able to dance a hula rather than do a headstand. Except after 10 cocktails. Then I think it's a draw.

My advanced apologies to the following individuals (who will hopefully stay friends with me considering my #2 fact) -
Demondoll
Pookiepie
Couch Potato
She is Kim
Two Lips
Tel
Lola
I swear, it's not that painful and it's kind of fun. Really.

CDC Warning

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. It is called Gonorrhea-Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies toward evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a Bush found in Texas.

News Announcement

Washington D.C. - The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects an abundance of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
-- Associated Press