Tuesday, April 04, 2006

CDC Warning

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. It is called Gonorrhea-Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies toward evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a Bush found in Texas.

9 comments:

Couch potato said...

Hahaha. I love it. Now you are better than Dr Yang for sure.

Did you get my email?

anonymous jones said...

Hi, just found you randomly. Very droll!! Just don't ask our Prime Minister in Australia for any answers coz he'll just say "Howard I know?"

Come visit me sometime, if you like!

demondoll said...

Hahahaha!!!! I'm safe, but not so sure about my surrounds... hmm...

Couch potato said...

I work with a lot of women who worship GW i mean worship him they actually think he is intelligent.

ElleDee said...

This entry (and the "Why parents drink") were forwards from friends.
Be advised, do NOT google "Venereal disease" (that's how I got the cool poster pic) b/c you will see some nasty ass pictures of VD symptoms. *shudder*

Couch potato said...

I could imagine.

demondoll said...

remember the Hamster Dance? This sweet lady I worked with tried to find it, but got confused and entered Beaver Dance. I kid you not. We all screamed and tried to delete as soon as possible. Yes, this was at Disney FA. Yes, the front desk.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I played at a few of his campaigns and marched in his governors parade when I was in high school. and NOT by choice. UGH. He is the only reason I'm ashamed to say I'm from Texas.

Hope you're doing well cousin! <3 Tiff

ElleDee said...

Poor cousin! :( Well, we have Arnold. 'nuff said.