You need a pick me up

It is really hard to see a friend get attacked. Whether they're outright attacks or snide comments, it's difficult to just sit back and watch (or read.) Ladies, you know how good we are at it. For example, "Mary Jane is such a sweet girl... unlike some people." Or the handy-dandy backhanded compliments, "Your dress looks great! I bet you'll be able to fit in that comfortably in no time."

Even though I'm not in the mix, I've read my fair share and have read it all silently. So I guess that makes me part of it just because this person is my friend. Tel and I have talked recently and she's had some strong feelings and opinions but nothing she couldn't handle. However, I know that my friend is now hurt, angry and upset. So I'm not going to be silent. I'm going to write about what I told her she should do which is concentrate on the positive.

Most of our egos are a tad fragile. Ninety-nine people can say how wonderful we are but that one person who says, "You're not that great" (or worse) can really do a number on our self-esteem. Well, I'm going to be one of those ninety-nine and SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS!!!

I met Tel in the beginning of 2001 when my life was drastically changing. At the time, I was going through an UGLY break up and making my transition into the "real world." Tel welcomed me with open arms into her life. She listened to my tirades and frustrations with dating as we sunbathed, ate cheese and smoked cigarettes. She introduced me to all her friends, invited me to her short-lived Book Club, and asked if I wanted to go with her to the infamous Cow. Relatively new to the Bay Area, Tel knew what it was like to want to meet new people and the need to surround yourself with good friends. My ex-boyfriend was my social life for the longest time - I was starting anew. Without a second thought, she included me in her circle. Six years later, we're still friends.

Tel and I have different personalities. Until recently, she would say things that would just make my jaw drop. Her "shock value" may have worn off on me but she still makes me laugh. Tel tells me about places I've never heard of and wouldn't even begin to know where to find them! I'll leave it at that. She's outrageous, outgoing, outspoken and outstanding. Tel knows, while I'm neither shy or quiet (thus my appeal!), I am on the reserved side. She respects that and doesn't try to question or change me. I think our differences make for good conversation. Plus, how can I not love a girl who likes spas, wine and hula shows? Impossible.

We're still friends because of various reasons. One, she makes the effort. I'm infamous for losing touch with people because if I have to do all the work ... I'm done. She sends me random e-mails or calls me spontaneously so we can schedule a dinner, drinks or a spa treatment :) Tel's also the one who brought me into the lovely world of blogging. Two, she helps put color in my world. Some may disagree but it's important to me that I bring happiness to the people in my life. I want to be a person that makes someone's life brighter. I write "some may disagree" because people might say that creating your own happiness is more important. I think putting color in other people's lives as well as your own is equally important. Maybe that's the philanthropic side of me :) Anyway, that's what I look for in friends and Tel does this. Her outrageousness (and I say that lovingly,) fun personality, and sweet disposition is what attracted me to her as with all my other friends. Am I calling Tel a ray of sunshine? Damn straight.

Tel, you are a wonderful person. When I first saw you at our Treasure Island bus stop (can you tell it's going to get romantic?) I was a senior in college, wearing my backpack, and going to my internship. I thought you looked so confident. Seriously. Your make up ... impeccable. Your hair and clothes ... polished and professional. The cautious social butterfly that I am, (we also had crackheads on our Island, people) I waited until we saw each other a few times before I tried to strike up a conversation. For all I knew, you were going to think I was this immature student not worth a dime of your time. But no. In fact, our first words has got to be the funniest exchange I've ever had with a friend.
Me: "Um, excuse me, are you from SF State?"
Tel: "Excuse me?"
Me: "I said, are you from SF State?"
Tel: "Ohhh! No, I'm not."
(I would later find out that she was two seconds from kickin' my as$ because she thought I asked, "Are you section 8?" I told you people, we were living amongst crackheads.) From there, our friendship blossomed.

I am so happy you found "the one." I am so excited to have a reason to go to Hawaii in 2007!!! You are a great person with a great heart. Move forward, plan that wedding, have fun with P while you're doing it and for crap's sake ... smile!!