Morbid outlook on things?

I don't know. I thought I didn't like cocky people because they were just too confident. Maybe I'm just jealous that they can be so cocky and I can't.
But they are pretty irritating.
I think a little humility or humbleness is good for the soul. Or, at least, the personality.
The problem is that I think that I could use a little something and I think it's beyond confidence.
Here's the thing, I've been doing pretty good at work for the past three weeks. I've been either #1 or #2 for recruitment of clients. And rather than feeling like, "Ah-yahhhhhhhhh" I'm more like, "Ohhhhh deeeeaaaar" because I feel like there is nowhere to go but down. That I'm going to have a big fat goose egg this week because I've tapped out all my resources.
This can't be healthy.
I remember my senior year in college. For the first time, it looked like I was going to get straight As in all my classes. Maybe it helped that I was no longer active in a sorority AND I didn't have a boyfriend (I guess they really are distracting! Who knew my parents were right.) Rather than feeling proud of myself, I actually freaked out, CRIED and called my mom because I felt like there was a greater chance to fail since the only place go was DOWN.
Thankfully I was talking to my mom over the phone rather than in person because I'm sure she was rolling her eyes and would have had to fought the urge to slap me. Because why couldn't I be effin' happy?!
Even writing this is uncomfortable for me because I know I'm tooting my own horn in order to illustrate how I may have a morbid outlook on things. At least, professionally (or academically.) There are other things I don't mind giving myself props for - having healthy relationships, a relatively clean house, good hair (if there's anything I may be vain about it's probably my hair because I really like my hair - thanks to my trusty flat iron and awesome hair stylist. OK, I take it back because now I'm getting nervous that my hair is going to fall out or break off. I suppose I think I can also get punished for being too cocky.) But everything else, I don't like to talk about UNLESS I feel like someone is attacking me and telling me I suck. Then I'm defensive.
So yah. I think that while I was doing well at work for the past few weeks, I'm going to plummet this week and be the one with the worst numbers. I can't help it.