Let's go back to the wedding reception for a minute ...

My sister gave a very sweet and touching Matron of Honor speech. She is a very good public speaker (even though she will protest and say she isn't) so she committed her speech to memory. The brother-in-law wrote his speech down but wasn't able to print it out - he was having problems with the hotel's business center and it wouldn't work. Just like The Man, his brother finished the speech the day of the wedding so that was probably why he was pressed for time. But, luckily, he DID write it down ... so I can share it with you :)

Best man speech
Hello. First of all, thank you to everyone who helped this special occasion possible and thank you to all the friends and family for being present here today.
For all of for those of you who couldn’t tell by our uncanny resemblance, I am Gil’s younger, better looking brother, Marvin.
Umm to be honest, I’m terribly nervous and I’m horrible at making speeches. Today I considered bailing out instead of making this speech. Then, I thought to myself: “You know what you need Marvin. You need courage. The courage that firefighters posses to run into a burning building or the same courage it takes to marry the likes of my brother, Gil. “I’d like this moment to thank LizaDawn. Who will forever be a source of inspiration for the meek in our hour of despair. You will continue to have a tremendous influence in our daily struggles. We thank you.
Now for a poem. This isn’t an ordinary poem as it lacks any fundamentals of poetry like iambic pentameter, grammar and other pointless things.
To Gil, my little flower has finally blossomed. My, have you grown so much. Your petals seem to touch the sky signifying your passage beyond your insecurities and inadequacies proving that you no longer need alcohol to get women into bed. With this union you assured me that you are a heterosexual. Believe me, I had my doubts but I think the security guards at the gym might need a bit more convincing before they allow you back into the men’s locker room. Well now’s your chance Gil. Bloom, my little flower, bloom.
On a more serious note, Gil and LizaDawn do make beautiful couple. Being single and, yes, I am single, I hope to find a friendship and love as rare as these two share. I wish them all the best. Your happiness is our happiness. You had better remember this as my mouth will never utter such sappiness again.
To finish I’d like to welcome LizaDawn to the family, as now she is the prettiest one in the family… second to me, of course.