I did not drink, smoke or do drugs.
Boring little chickie, wasn't I?
Some thought it started because of the guy I was dating.
Others thought it was the friends I kept that influenced me.
But the truth of my sin began with a children's play. Truly!
I auditioned for a Japanese children's play (No, you didn't have to be Japanese and no, I don't remember the name!) My professor, Edgardo, asked me to audition and next thing I knew, I was a sea urchin. Now that I think about it, all three of us sea urchins were about the same height. That's probably why he asked me.
There were many, many rehearsals. And I was always stuck in the green room with the chatterbug and the mom who was sweet enough but her toddler must have been Rosemary's baby. I HATED waiting for rehearsals. Finally, I went outside with the smokers and just dealt with the cold weather and the hideous smoke.
I had tried smoking a couple of times before earlier that year and ended up coughing, choking and turning rouge (I'm a brown girl - I don't turn red, I turn rouge.) But it only took a week for these smokers to realize I was not smoking.
"Why are you out here?" one asked.
I couldn't very well tell him that his non-smoker friends bored the hell out of me and I'd rather inhale secondhand smoke than listen to the girl that was trying to convince me (and herself) the benefits of declaring a major in Theatre and if I wasn't sure Speech Comm was for me that, without a doubt, I should change it to Theatre. (Before I get the beat down, I know nothing is wrong with that major. In fact, my dear Sister had that major which made sense because she is an actor. However, you try listening to ANYONE trying to convince you for days on end that the major she chose is the best and can be utilized in any profession.) And I won't even go into how listening to a spoiled child throwing tantrums is enough to make anyone want to stab her eye with a pencil. Plus, all these actors were friends and I think I was the only non-theatre major in this play. I couldn't ruffle any feathers. So what did I do? I lied.
"I don't have a cigarette." I replied.
My fellow urchin and only real friend present said, "Oh, why didn't you tell me? Have one of mine." And even packs the little cig for me, bless her heart.
Since I tried it before, I knew how to light a cigarette without looking like a dork. I just didn't know if I could smoke it without looking like an ass.
Somehow, I did it. And so begun the five year love affair ...
Me from 1997-2002 "I love you, I love you, I love you!"
I don't regret my time with these smokes (excluding any future bouts with cancer.) They carried me through dorm life, excruciating exams and papers, a six month break up, many a rough bar and clubbing nights, and a job from hell. They were sometimes an icebreaker, sometimes a friend maker, often times a stress reliever and always a crutch.
I knew I wasn't addicted (everyone says that, right?) But really, I wasn't because there is only one thing that I thought was addicting to me (an entirely different post altogether.) I knew this cigarette thing was like my ex boyfriend - "it's gotsta go!"
A series of events helped me quit. When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I was being stupid by smoking because I was pretty much begging for lung cancer. Shortly after, I started grad school and, surprisingly, barely any of my friends or classmates smoked so there was none of that fun socializing that I enjoyed with my smoke. And then I started dating The Man who met me as a smoker but really really wanted me to quit. Oh, and then I needed to go on BC and was warned by my doctor that I would be more likely to get cancer if I mixed the two.
Well, son of a biscuit. If those all weren't all not-so-subtle hints smacking me upside the head, I don't know what you would have call them.
So there you have it. I am now one of those "non-smokers" that I used to hate. Why? Because I say "HELL YA!" when it comes to increasing the tax on cigarettes. I could give a hoot if it's $10/pack and all the money goes to hospitals or whatever else that lame ad says. Again, I say "HELL YA!!!!" And I hate, HATE, the smell of cigarette smoke. I will take cigar or pot smoke any day over cigarette. My clothes and hair soak it like a sponge and why should I smell like an ashtray when I didn't even get to enjoy the cigarette myself???? "Get the f*ck away from me, smoker!" Which leads me to "Hell-mutha-f*ckin'-yah you should be at least 20 feet away from the building!" You leave your butts everywhere (EXCEPT for you few courteous smokers who bother to walk around until you find an ashtray or garbage can) and your smoke still goes into any open door, window or vent near you.
Told you. I am the former smoker that present smokers hate. Of course, I don't ever say these things OUTLOUD to smokers (I used to be one, I know how edgy and balls out they can be) but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking it.
Again, I say tax the muthaf*ckin' packs. Maybe then minorities and the low-income population wouldn't be the ones targeted by tobacco companies. But I won't even get started on that.
7 comments:
What a great post!
I LOVED Edgardo De La Cruz- who told me not to marry the practice husband.
I miss the green room- I used to sleep on a rasty-a$$ loveseat between rehearsals.
I never smoked, but I kept a lighter for my friends who did.
I am so glad you don't smoke anymore. You never smelled like ashtray, but I totally feared for your lungs and your complexion. Smokers wrinkle- even Pinoys;)
I love smoking too. I don't anymore but I think about it often and when i smell smoke i practically salivate. I know I am sick and twisted but what can i say. It was very difficult for me to stop and every once in a while i still smoke.
Sister: Edgardo is regal. That's the first word that comes to mind when I think of him.
I know, I didn't even think to mention my complexion! It's not the best but smoking would have definitely made it worse!
Thank you, I tried very hard not to smell like ashtray. I had Bath & Body Works lotion and spray AND gum readily available in my car.
Taters, I miss it too. Why do you think I wrote about it? I miss smoking most when (1) I have a nice hot cup of coffee on a chilly morning (2) after eating a really big meal (3) when I have an alcoholic beverage in my hand. Gracious me do I miss cigarettes then!
Of course, when I was at a party and hadn't been smoking for a few months, someone offered me a smoke. I asked The Man if he would mind (could he really say no in front of them?) and I $hit you not, I was hurling in my friend's toilet less than five minutes later. Damn.
I also love big huge cigars. Alonzo doesn't like it one bit so on my birthday i smoke and he doesn't complain it is great. all the other times i have to smoke when he isn't around
I like the smell of cigars and clove cigarettes. And I am fascinated with the ritual of smoking. Unwrap the carton; tap down; pull stick; tap again; light up; drag- and how everyone has their own routine...
ok wtf? dloxgryk
Ha, remember how I was your and Lips' nonsmoking smoking buddy? OH...remember the time the chick came to our door on TI and asked if we had an ATM?! Or when Mike showed up wearing his motorcycle helmet and I thought there was a Power Ranger lurking outside our door?
Kim: I remember all those events so well.
Cyn: I think that's false. We probably wouldn't still be friends NOW if it weren't for all those smoke breaks. But I think we would have gotten along fine. You SHOULD have been worrying about your inconsiderate roommate that would let the alarm go off at 5:00am and just keep it on.
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