Workin' nine to five ...

I figured it's okay to write a little bit about work since this is a private blog now. I meant to post last week and write about my good news. See, I was so happy a couple of weeks ago because I found out something really fantastic on our affiliate conference call. We have them quarterly, when all the offices and telecommuters call in and are informed how we're doing nationally and the affiliate level (California, Nevada & Utah.) Anyway, I'm listening while driving - on a headset, of course, because I'm no dummy - and they announce a couple of prestigious awards. No, I did not get one of them. But then they announce the participants of this year's Leadership class. This was something started two years ago by our Executive Vice President. Employees are nominated by their supervisors and from those nominations, 12 people out of the entire affiliate are chosen. In their words, "The concept of the program was derived from our desire to recognize individuals throughout the affiliate who, in addition to making exceptional contributions to the organization, also role model the leadership capabilities which will propel us forward. It's designed to facilitate focused attention on nurturing leadership potential while challenging individuals to develop the talent of others."
I did get this:) And I was so excited for several reasons. First of all, I was really honored that my supervisor nominated me. It feels good to know my boss thinks I have potential. This also showed she really listened to me. She had asked what I wanted in terms of career growth during my year end evaluation last year. I told her that it is very important for me to continuing learning because it keeps me stimulated and challenged me.
Secondly, I know that since it's the program's third year, more nominations than ever before were made for these 12 slots. I also know for a fact that I don't generate the most revenue, largely due to my territory. Many of my colleagues very talented and hard working individuals. Quite a few are able to produce numbers me and my territory could only dream of having one day! So to be recognized among so many phenomenal people really rejuvenated my passion for my job and the company. This also reaffirmed that the organization, indeed, recognizes other abilities and specialties in addition to "showing them the money". I'm so happy and grateful for that.
Lastly, it's because I truly believe what I told my boss. I love to learn new things. But having a full time job makes me shamefully complacent and unmotivated to explore education opportunities. So to have the opportunity given to me by my company is absolutely amazing.
On top of all that, our raises finally kicked in! Due to the economic climate, my company made the decision to freeze any raises that were earned in July until January. Since this decision prevented any lay offs, I couldn't really get upset. But thank goodness they finally kicked in! Things were basically sunshine and roses.
Then, two days ago, I found out the my largest account - which is actually an umbrella for several smaller accounts - decided that they couldn't be my client this year, after all. Understandably, the economy and proposed state budget cuts are freaking them out (there really isn't a better term because they really are freaked out) and they feel they need to save every penny. And I really mean it - I UNDERSTAND. But I am losing 25% of the total income I brought in last year. See, even though I knew it was going to be a pretty hard year, I counted on the fact that I would at least generate the same amount of revenue that I did last year. I sought out all my clients at the end of the fiscal year to get recommitments for this year. Then I worked hard to bring in new accounts, more than making up for the ones I couldn't renew. I even projected that I would have an increase this year, just not a large one. Now I am missing 1/4 of last year's revenue. I will have a very difficult time reaching last year's numbers. Pretty improbable since I would have to have NONE of my other accounts drop. Attrition of some kind is always a factor and I would have to have zero attrition in order to achieve last year's numbers.
Basically, no matter what I do, I will not get a good end of the year evaluation. Because my job, and I knew this when I took it, is primarily evaluated on the revenue I bring in. Sure, I can be a great employee. I could even score top notch marks on every other aspect of my position. And maybe my boss will give me a perfect evaluation. But it won't matter. Because 80% of my review is if I made an increase from last year's numbers. If I do not make an increase or, at the very least, reach last year's revenue, I will automatically get a poor review.
How's that for royally effed?
I still love my job. And I'm very thankful to HAVE a job. It's just, well, I have the competitive side of me. The side that wants to be one of the best and, HELL YAH wants to beat my last year's self, is really disappointed. I will continue to work hard. I will continue to give my job my all. But in the back of my mind, I will know that no matter what I do, I will not do nearly as well as last year and that my evaluation will be sub par. And that blows.
So there you have it. Regarding work, I had a really great week two weeks ago. And then I had a crappy end of the week just two days ago. But any way you slice it, I am happy to be working.