What could have been but never was

(Written 4/27/12. Originally titled, "10 Days!" )

I'm pretty sure I know. According to my handy period tracker, I am ten days late. Yes, TEN.

Three days ago, I bought a pregnancy test. I plan on taking it on Saturday for confirmation. Just because I’m pretty sure doesn’t mean it’s absolute! But if my hunch is right, I’m going to present it to him in a pretty package. Washing it clean, of course.

A while back, I splurged and took boudoir photos. If I hadn’t been so reserved and insecure in my early 20s, I would have it taken it then. My body was rockin’! Hahaha, ok, not really. I was by no means a hard body but, as I’m able to reflect, it was nothing to be ashamed about. But I was bashful and that’s how it goes.

After having The Bun, I decided that I wanted to feel pretty. I wanted to take photos to give to The Man so that, when we got older and I got lumpier or saggy-er (heaven forbid, both!), he could look back at photos of his hot wife. Because, by golly, I was going to make sure the photos made me look good!

Don’t get me wrong, the reserved and insecure girl never went away. But I think she matured a bit. With that mindset, and the two glasses of wine the photographer provided, I took them. Oh yes, the package also came with hair and makeup … this was a must for me!

I just got the photos back earlier this week. Same day I bought the pregnancy test. So, if everything goes the way I think it will go (that there is, indeed, a bun in the oven), I’m going to package these photos in a box. I’ll have him look at them one by one and then, behind the last photo, will be the pregnancy test and some written remark of how he better cherish the body in those photos because it’s about to change. Again!

It’s so tempting to take the test now. But I’m going to wait until right before I plan on packaging everything up because I want to know right before he does. If I find out now, I’ll end up telling him! I guess it’s my way of keeping my own mouth shutJ Can’t divulge information that I’m not 100% sure about. Yet.