I just saw this commercial: http://comps.gunnjerkens.com/hayward/ (courtesy of The HayWord.)
What a great job marketing where I live. But it made me wonder if we're talking about the same city? Haha ... no big deal to me. After all, we bought a home here so I can't really knock on it. I just wish I could be in the car with the folks who saw this and then decided to take a look for themselves.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
You either got 'em or you don't ... right?
This entry is for the ladies who weren't born with that maternal instinct. You know if it's you. It's definitely me.
I have friends and family who always knew they wanted to be a mommy. It was a certain for them. "I'm going to get married. And then I'm going to have children." I may have said it. After all, I didn't want to be the freak who didn't know if she would be a mom. But I really wasn't sure. Especially in my early 20s. I thought for sure after college, those instincts, those wants, would kick in. Imagine being in a sorority, almost all of them itching to get married right after graduation, most of them wanting to be a mommy shortly thereafter, and half of them studying to be elementary teachers. These were definitely mamas in the making. And I remember I wouldn't say much. I knew that I wanted to be married. I knew that I wanted a career in something. But I was indifferent about having kids.
There could be several reasons. I thought in the past that maybe it was because I was the baby and I liked being pampered. Maybe I was a bit spoiled and didn't want to think about having to take care of someone else. I wasn't sure. I mean, I didn't mind and wasn't opposed to the idea of looking after someone else but had no experience since I was the youngest. I'm also pretty sure that a lot of my indifference had to do with how insecure I was about my body. I always had negative feelings about my body and the thought of putting on extra poundage that I could quite possibly never take off scared the hell out of me. Like when you get pregnant. Yup, I'm almost certain a lot had to do with that. And then, as I mentioned, I just didn't have those yearnings the way other women had. The ones that knew that they were born to be a mom.
So what changed?
I figured I should address that before I scare people and you think, "Well what the HELL is she having a baby for then?!" A lot has to do with my partner. Keep in mind, I never not wanted a baby. I just didn't have the aching other people had and I was scared of the permanent damage my body would face. I was honestly petrified of that because I felt like I had no control of my body in the first place without facing additional challenges.
Then I met a man who truly wanted a family with children. He, unlike me, knew he was born to be a dad. No joke. This guy wants to be a father. But the reason I didn't run for the hills is because all his reasons, in my opinion, are the right reasons. He didn't see children as filling a void, fixing a problem or as some macho deed to "spread his seed." The Man saw it as a way to make our family even better. He thought that if we had this much love for each other, imagine how great our love would be for our children. He loves the idea that our child will be able to meet three out of his/her four grandparents. And then there are the things he doesn't say but the things he does. I see how The Man is with our puppies. Now I know, believe me, I know pets are different from babies but I see how tenderly he treats them. I see how this tough construction worker comes home and is just a total softie around our pups. (His coworkers would never believe it.) This is a guy who boiled chicken for months because that was the only way they would eat - if he mixed chicken and kibble.
You get the point. I could see us working as a team to raise a child. I saw someone who would step in when I was exhausted or felt beat up. I knew he would truly be my partner.
So I thought about it. I thought about all the things that made him so happy about the idea of having a child. My indifference changed. Up until this point, I could have gone either way - be a childless couple or be a couple with children. But I thought about it and thought about it. Because I didn't want to be someone who brought a baby into this world without truly wanting him/her. While The Man's excitment of having a baby was contagious, I wanted to want one all on my own. I thought about it before we got married. I thought about it after we got married. Then I thought some more. And then I asked him if he was willing to wait until the beginning of 2009 to start a family. This was a surprise to him because I had talked about wanting to try a couple years down the road, maybe when I was 32. But I was ready. I saw and did everything I wanted to do before having a baby. No, I didn't travel all over the world or discover my dream career. But I am happy with my life and ready to make my life better. And more complicated :)
And there it is. I was this young woman who was indifferent about having a baby. Now I am this 30 year old lady who cried when she saw her baby through the ultrasound. People evolve, people change. I did.
Here's looking forward to the adventures of being pregnant and then being a mommy! And no, I never thought I'd be one of those women who blog on and on about her baby.
TOO BAD! :)
I have friends and family who always knew they wanted to be a mommy. It was a certain for them. "I'm going to get married. And then I'm going to have children." I may have said it. After all, I didn't want to be the freak who didn't know if she would be a mom. But I really wasn't sure. Especially in my early 20s. I thought for sure after college, those instincts, those wants, would kick in. Imagine being in a sorority, almost all of them itching to get married right after graduation, most of them wanting to be a mommy shortly thereafter, and half of them studying to be elementary teachers. These were definitely mamas in the making. And I remember I wouldn't say much. I knew that I wanted to be married. I knew that I wanted a career in something. But I was indifferent about having kids.
There could be several reasons. I thought in the past that maybe it was because I was the baby and I liked being pampered. Maybe I was a bit spoiled and didn't want to think about having to take care of someone else. I wasn't sure. I mean, I didn't mind and wasn't opposed to the idea of looking after someone else but had no experience since I was the youngest. I'm also pretty sure that a lot of my indifference had to do with how insecure I was about my body. I always had negative feelings about my body and the thought of putting on extra poundage that I could quite possibly never take off scared the hell out of me. Like when you get pregnant. Yup, I'm almost certain a lot had to do with that. And then, as I mentioned, I just didn't have those yearnings the way other women had. The ones that knew that they were born to be a mom.
So what changed?
I figured I should address that before I scare people and you think, "Well what the HELL is she having a baby for then?!" A lot has to do with my partner. Keep in mind, I never not wanted a baby. I just didn't have the aching other people had and I was scared of the permanent damage my body would face. I was honestly petrified of that because I felt like I had no control of my body in the first place without facing additional challenges.
Then I met a man who truly wanted a family with children. He, unlike me, knew he was born to be a dad. No joke. This guy wants to be a father. But the reason I didn't run for the hills is because all his reasons, in my opinion, are the right reasons. He didn't see children as filling a void, fixing a problem or as some macho deed to "spread his seed." The Man saw it as a way to make our family even better. He thought that if we had this much love for each other, imagine how great our love would be for our children. He loves the idea that our child will be able to meet three out of his/her four grandparents. And then there are the things he doesn't say but the things he does. I see how The Man is with our puppies. Now I know, believe me, I know pets are different from babies but I see how tenderly he treats them. I see how this tough construction worker comes home and is just a total softie around our pups. (His coworkers would never believe it.) This is a guy who boiled chicken for months because that was the only way they would eat - if he mixed chicken and kibble.
You get the point. I could see us working as a team to raise a child. I saw someone who would step in when I was exhausted or felt beat up. I knew he would truly be my partner.
So I thought about it. I thought about all the things that made him so happy about the idea of having a child. My indifference changed. Up until this point, I could have gone either way - be a childless couple or be a couple with children. But I thought about it and thought about it. Because I didn't want to be someone who brought a baby into this world without truly wanting him/her. While The Man's excitment of having a baby was contagious, I wanted to want one all on my own. I thought about it before we got married. I thought about it after we got married. Then I thought some more. And then I asked him if he was willing to wait until the beginning of 2009 to start a family. This was a surprise to him because I had talked about wanting to try a couple years down the road, maybe when I was 32. But I was ready. I saw and did everything I wanted to do before having a baby. No, I didn't travel all over the world or discover my dream career. But I am happy with my life and ready to make my life better. And more complicated :)
And there it is. I was this young woman who was indifferent about having a baby. Now I am this 30 year old lady who cried when she saw her baby through the ultrasound. People evolve, people change. I did.
Here's looking forward to the adventures of being pregnant and then being a mommy! And no, I never thought I'd be one of those women who blog on and on about her baby.
TOO BAD! :)
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Internet is a necessity, not a luxury
I've decided. Because being without our lovely wireless Internet and catching glimpses on my phone is not the same.
We are STILL moving and will probably be moving for weeks to come. I'd estimate we have about 75% of our stuff at our new home. But little things that we need to pack remain at our old house, things that we don't need but, boy, do we miss when we realize it's not here! Off the top of my head: our cutting board; soy sauce; muffin tins; Pine Sol; Windex; fax/printer paper; things like those.
Oh, and Happy Tax Day! On that note, the note of things that take your money or cause you to be broke, our first mortgage payment is on May 1. Oh dear!
As for everything else ... well, our one year anniversary is tomorrow. Wow, it's been a year. So much has happened, though, it feels to me that it's been longer. We aren't doing anything at all fancy. I requested that, instead of buying a gift, we have a very nice dinner out and he give me a sincerely written (not written on the way home in traffic!) card. As for my gift to him, I wish I could have taken him on a trip. Or even treat him to just a weekend getaway. But we need the weekends to continue to move. And we aren't comfortable spending that much money until we see if our budgeting goes according to plan and find out if we have as much as we estimated after bills. What to do, what to do.
He's not a spa guy (I've tried, ladies, oh lawdee how I've tried!) but I do know The Man needs a massage with the kind of work he does and the extreme stress he's been under lately.
If you read my blog at all you know I LOVE spas and I truly believe massages are sacred. So I certainly have reservations about places that give me the impression of a factory churning out massages. OF COURSE it has to be a good massage. But I'm also very much about the ambiance, the relaxation and basically, basking in the massage after glow glory.
Quite a few people I know have been singing the praises of Massage Envy. From what those folks have said, ME sounds like it's a great place to get a massage. But what about all the other aspects I love so much about spas? I am a big fan of Yelp so I checked out the reviews of the local Massage Envy. They had overall great reviews and many people recommended the same therapists. They also had great things to say about the location.
While I will probably always love spas, ME sounds like the kind of place The Man would enjoy. He thinks the prices spas charge are ridiculous and he is very uncomfortable trying to relax among strangers. Besides, ME prices are pretty fantastic! I booked a 60 minute massage for him and a prenatal massage for me for the price a 60 minute massage for ONE would cost. I think he will appreciate getting all his knots and kinks worked out, especially after the stressful week he's has so far. And I will certainly benefit from a good massage - my first prenatal one!
It's not a trip to Hawaii. Hell, it's not even a trip to Monterey! But, over all, I think it's a very nice way to celebrate our very first anniversary - in our first home together, with our two pups, and a bun in the oven. And it is better than a trip to, say, Reno :)
Um, hopefully I didn't offend anyone with the Reno comment!
We are STILL moving and will probably be moving for weeks to come. I'd estimate we have about 75% of our stuff at our new home. But little things that we need to pack remain at our old house, things that we don't need but, boy, do we miss when we realize it's not here! Off the top of my head: our cutting board; soy sauce; muffin tins; Pine Sol; Windex; fax/printer paper; things like those.
Oh, and Happy Tax Day! On that note, the note of things that take your money or cause you to be broke, our first mortgage payment is on May 1. Oh dear!
As for everything else ... well, our one year anniversary is tomorrow. Wow, it's been a year. So much has happened, though, it feels to me that it's been longer. We aren't doing anything at all fancy. I requested that, instead of buying a gift, we have a very nice dinner out and he give me a sincerely written (not written on the way home in traffic!) card. As for my gift to him, I wish I could have taken him on a trip. Or even treat him to just a weekend getaway. But we need the weekends to continue to move. And we aren't comfortable spending that much money until we see if our budgeting goes according to plan and find out if we have as much as we estimated after bills. What to do, what to do.
He's not a spa guy (I've tried, ladies, oh lawdee how I've tried!) but I do know The Man needs a massage with the kind of work he does and the extreme stress he's been under lately.
If you read my blog at all you know I LOVE spas and I truly believe massages are sacred. So I certainly have reservations about places that give me the impression of a factory churning out massages. OF COURSE it has to be a good massage. But I'm also very much about the ambiance, the relaxation and basically, basking in the massage after glow glory.
Quite a few people I know have been singing the praises of Massage Envy. From what those folks have said, ME sounds like it's a great place to get a massage. But what about all the other aspects I love so much about spas? I am a big fan of Yelp so I checked out the reviews of the local Massage Envy. They had overall great reviews and many people recommended the same therapists. They also had great things to say about the location.
While I will probably always love spas, ME sounds like the kind of place The Man would enjoy. He thinks the prices spas charge are ridiculous and he is very uncomfortable trying to relax among strangers. Besides, ME prices are pretty fantastic! I booked a 60 minute massage for him and a prenatal massage for me for the price a 60 minute massage for ONE would cost. I think he will appreciate getting all his knots and kinks worked out, especially after the stressful week he's has so far. And I will certainly benefit from a good massage - my first prenatal one!
It's not a trip to Hawaii. Hell, it's not even a trip to Monterey! But, over all, I think it's a very nice way to celebrate our very first anniversary - in our first home together, with our two pups, and a bun in the oven. And it is better than a trip to, say, Reno :)
Um, hopefully I didn't offend anyone with the Reno comment!
Thursday, April 09, 2009
The day we found out
Written 2/7/09 at 8:43pm
I wish it was something a lot more interesting and exciting. But truth be told, I was bored. It was a lazy day for the both of us and I was done watching my second DVD.
I knew I was supposed to get my period by now and thought, "Well, The Man bought me a pack of pregnancy tests, let's just test one out." I had actually had my blood taken at the doctor's office over a week ago and, among the many tests was a pregnancy one, and it was negative. But maybe it was too early so why not try again. Plus, I was bored.
I peed on a stick and automatically saw the dark pink line. Then, something different happened (I had used this kind of test a few years ago when I had a scare so I knew what a negative was supposed to look like) but this one, the one that I just tinkled on, had a faint pink line next to the dark pink line.
What. The. Hell. What does that mean? I can't be semi pregnant. What does a faint line mean? The illustration on the directions show two clearly dark lines. In black and white. F*ckers.
You know, I had imagined a romantic way of telling The Man. When we were just talking about getting pregnant, I imagined that when I found out, I would take The Man to a nice restaurant and, after dinner and before dessert, I would present him with a Happy Father's Day card that would have Future scrawled between Happy and Father. I imagined that I might tear and he would be speechless. And we'd hug and kiss.
Not so much. Ha, not at all. I came out in a sweatshirt and underwear as he was leisurely shopping online and waved a pregnancy test in front of his face and screeched, "What does this mean?" Of course, he had no idea that I was even taking a test. So, upon looking at his face, I screeched, "I was bored and was wondering!" He calmly asked me what the directions said and I told him that they were unclear. So we did what any couple of smart 30 year olds would do. We Googled. I swear I'm not lying when we ended up on a website, http://www.peeonastick.com/ For real.
We read how other women were confused about the strong pink and light pink lines and there were even pictures. They swore that the two lines, despite the difference in darkness, meant that it was positive.
I peed on another stick, just to make sure. Again, one dark, one light.
The Man and I looked back on the box and discovered that it came with one bonus digital pregnancy test. Sweet. I drank two cups of water and waited anxiously for me to be able to pee again.
Fifteen minutes later, I showed The Man the results. Yes. I lined them all up and started laughing. He asked what was so funny and I told him I was nervous. And excited. And holy moly, he was going to be a Daddy!
I think just about every couple names the baby some sickening cute nickname. And we are no different. I'm not different. I was calling the baby, The Bun. And I really, really, really hoped that all would be well and in nine months, I would meet a healthy and beautiful baby. So I changed his/her nickname to Sticky Bun. Because I desperately want this baby to stick around and be born.
We already love you, Sticky Bun.
I strongly recommend to not mess with anything but digital ... those lines will drive you crazy!
I wish it was something a lot more interesting and exciting. But truth be told, I was bored. It was a lazy day for the both of us and I was done watching my second DVD.
I knew I was supposed to get my period by now and thought, "Well, The Man bought me a pack of pregnancy tests, let's just test one out." I had actually had my blood taken at the doctor's office over a week ago and, among the many tests was a pregnancy one, and it was negative. But maybe it was too early so why not try again. Plus, I was bored.
I peed on a stick and automatically saw the dark pink line. Then, something different happened (I had used this kind of test a few years ago when I had a scare so I knew what a negative was supposed to look like) but this one, the one that I just tinkled on, had a faint pink line next to the dark pink line.
What. The. Hell. What does that mean? I can't be semi pregnant. What does a faint line mean? The illustration on the directions show two clearly dark lines. In black and white. F*ckers.
You know, I had imagined a romantic way of telling The Man. When we were just talking about getting pregnant, I imagined that when I found out, I would take The Man to a nice restaurant and, after dinner and before dessert, I would present him with a Happy Father's Day card that would have Future scrawled between Happy and Father. I imagined that I might tear and he would be speechless. And we'd hug and kiss.
Not so much. Ha, not at all. I came out in a sweatshirt and underwear as he was leisurely shopping online and waved a pregnancy test in front of his face and screeched, "What does this mean?" Of course, he had no idea that I was even taking a test. So, upon looking at his face, I screeched, "I was bored and was wondering!" He calmly asked me what the directions said and I told him that they were unclear. So we did what any couple of smart 30 year olds would do. We Googled. I swear I'm not lying when we ended up on a website, http://www.peeonastick.com/ For real.
We read how other women were confused about the strong pink and light pink lines and there were even pictures. They swore that the two lines, despite the difference in darkness, meant that it was positive.
I peed on another stick, just to make sure. Again, one dark, one light.
The Man and I looked back on the box and discovered that it came with one bonus digital pregnancy test. Sweet. I drank two cups of water and waited anxiously for me to be able to pee again.
Fifteen minutes later, I showed The Man the results. Yes. I lined them all up and started laughing. He asked what was so funny and I told him I was nervous. And excited. And holy moly, he was going to be a Daddy!
I think just about every couple names the baby some sickening cute nickname. And we are no different. I'm not different. I was calling the baby, The Bun. And I really, really, really hoped that all would be well and in nine months, I would meet a healthy and beautiful baby. So I changed his/her nickname to Sticky Bun. Because I desperately want this baby to stick around and be born.
We already love you, Sticky Bun.
I strongly recommend to not mess with anything but digital ... those lines will drive you crazy!
Why the house doesn't matter so much ..
Written 2/12/09 at 7:52pm.
When I wrote that I was able to gain some perspective during the two weeks we had to wait on our "dream home", I really meant that I found out I was knocked up. That will give you some perspective!
But in all seriousness, it totally did. My focus of worry (I guess I'm one of those people that always need to fret about something!) was now on Sticky Bun. In the grand scheme of things, who gave a flip about a house?! We're having ourselves a baby!!!!! There aren't enough exclamation points to illustrate how I feel.
It's so funny. Last week, I was sleepless over the house. I wanted it so bad that I was getting up at 1am because I was tossing and turning too much. That house just felt like it was OURS. And while I still do wish we could have gotten it, I'm not pining away for it like a star-crossed lover ;) No, I'm reading Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy (The Man looked on Amazon and he said that the other popular book had reviews that said it told you about every possible thing that could go wrong - perfect to fuel my paranoia.) Sticky Bun is smaller than the end of this period. What a trip.
When I wrote that I was able to gain some perspective during the two weeks we had to wait on our "dream home", I really meant that I found out I was knocked up. That will give you some perspective!
But in all seriousness, it totally did. My focus of worry (I guess I'm one of those people that always need to fret about something!) was now on Sticky Bun. In the grand scheme of things, who gave a flip about a house?! We're having ourselves a baby!!!!! There aren't enough exclamation points to illustrate how I feel.
It's so funny. Last week, I was sleepless over the house. I wanted it so bad that I was getting up at 1am because I was tossing and turning too much. That house just felt like it was OURS. And while I still do wish we could have gotten it, I'm not pining away for it like a star-crossed lover ;) No, I'm reading Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy (The Man looked on Amazon and he said that the other popular book had reviews that said it told you about every possible thing that could go wrong - perfect to fuel my paranoia.) Sticky Bun is smaller than the end of this period. What a trip.
Nauseous ... but not vomiting. Yet.
Written 2/22/09 at 3:25pm.
I thought I was going to be one of the lucky few. Maybe I still am. I've been feeling nauseous since Monday. Certain smells make me want to throw up. But I have yet TO throw up.
I also have to watch what I'm eating. I am letting myself get a little too liberal with food. And man! There are so many times I want to write something on my Facebook status that has to do w/ the pregnancy but then I remind myself, "It's waaaaayyy to early!" And there was a time when I meant to click "Save now" on blogger and accidently pressed "Publish post"! I hoped that no one happened, at that same second, tried to check out my blog. Jeez!
Very interesting for this instant gratification girl. I have to wait until April 8th, the end of my first trimester!
I thought I was going to be one of the lucky few. Maybe I still am. I've been feeling nauseous since Monday. Certain smells make me want to throw up. But I have yet TO throw up.
I also have to watch what I'm eating. I am letting myself get a little too liberal with food. And man! There are so many times I want to write something on my Facebook status that has to do w/ the pregnancy but then I remind myself, "It's waaaaayyy to early!" And there was a time when I meant to click "Save now" on blogger and accidently pressed "Publish post"! I hoped that no one happened, at that same second, tried to check out my blog. Jeez!
Very interesting for this instant gratification girl. I have to wait until April 8th, the end of my first trimester!
7 1/2 - 8 weeks. We're kind of unclear on the situation.
Written 3/4/09 at 8:42pm.
I had my first doctor's appointment this week. It was on an early Monday afternoon so The Man wasn't able to join me.
I was a little nervous. Without being going into detail (because why be morbid?) I was trying not to think of all the things that could be wrong and just hope for the best.
Umm, no one told me about the ultrasound where the doc sticks an apparatus up the hoo-hah. Thanks for the heads up, you mamas.
I saw Sticky Bun's heart beat. Well, more like very quick fluttering. Like hummingbird wings. There on the screen was this bean looking thing with a tiny part that fluttered.
Goodness me, there it is - the heart beat.
I'm supposed to be eight weeks along but my doctor said that Sticky Bun was on the small side so maybe SB was 7 1/2 weeks old. But the doc kept my due date at October 16th. Well, -ish. Some time that week.
I'm always eating. I need to stop. There's no reason I should be gaining weight so early on in the pregnancy! But I've been blessed with sustaining the appetite I usually have right before my period. But IT NEVER ENDS. The crazy appetite of wanting to inhale everything usually went away after my period. But, ah-hmm, no period.
I'm also very, very tired. That's why I mentioned caffeine in a previous blog entry. In addition to have this life grow inside of me, I'm also supposed to swear off of caffeine. Now I am a walking zombie. I swear it feels like I'm wide awake for about two hours of the day and the rest of the time I'm just fighting of sleep. I hope this goes away soon.
Another crazy thing is my eczema has just BLOWN up. It's never been this bad. It's on my ankle, thigh, back, neck, hands, arms, scalp - everywhere. This is probably the most annoying. I itch all the GD time. I am so thankful I am seeing a dermatologist tomorrow. I booked the appointment two weeks ago and tomorrow was the soonest I could see that doc! Every day, all day, I am itchy. My gosh I hope they can treat me.
The last big change is the sickness. I get nauseous first thing in the morning and then again around 8pm until I fall asleep. Too bad it doesn't control my eating issues!
But with all those changes, I'm really excited to be pregnant. It really is possible to love a baby before it's even a full fledged baby. And what I want most, even more than to be slim or sexy, is to have a very healthy and happy baby join our family in seven months. Which is probably very good because I do not see "slim" or "sexy" in the cards.
I had my first doctor's appointment this week. It was on an early Monday afternoon so The Man wasn't able to join me.
I was a little nervous. Without being going into detail (because why be morbid?) I was trying not to think of all the things that could be wrong and just hope for the best.
Umm, no one told me about the ultrasound where the doc sticks an apparatus up the hoo-hah. Thanks for the heads up, you mamas.
I saw Sticky Bun's heart beat. Well, more like very quick fluttering. Like hummingbird wings. There on the screen was this bean looking thing with a tiny part that fluttered.
Goodness me, there it is - the heart beat.
I'm supposed to be eight weeks along but my doctor said that Sticky Bun was on the small side so maybe SB was 7 1/2 weeks old. But the doc kept my due date at October 16th. Well, -ish. Some time that week.
I'm always eating. I need to stop. There's no reason I should be gaining weight so early on in the pregnancy! But I've been blessed with sustaining the appetite I usually have right before my period. But IT NEVER ENDS. The crazy appetite of wanting to inhale everything usually went away after my period. But, ah-hmm, no period.
I'm also very, very tired. That's why I mentioned caffeine in a previous blog entry. In addition to have this life grow inside of me, I'm also supposed to swear off of caffeine. Now I am a walking zombie. I swear it feels like I'm wide awake for about two hours of the day and the rest of the time I'm just fighting of sleep. I hope this goes away soon.
Another crazy thing is my eczema has just BLOWN up. It's never been this bad. It's on my ankle, thigh, back, neck, hands, arms, scalp - everywhere. This is probably the most annoying. I itch all the GD time. I am so thankful I am seeing a dermatologist tomorrow. I booked the appointment two weeks ago and tomorrow was the soonest I could see that doc! Every day, all day, I am itchy. My gosh I hope they can treat me.
The last big change is the sickness. I get nauseous first thing in the morning and then again around 8pm until I fall asleep. Too bad it doesn't control my eating issues!
But with all those changes, I'm really excited to be pregnant. It really is possible to love a baby before it's even a full fledged baby. And what I want most, even more than to be slim or sexy, is to have a very healthy and happy baby join our family in seven months. Which is probably very good because I do not see "slim" or "sexy" in the cards.
Oh baby
Written 3/6/09 at 8:27am.
Saw the dermatologist yesterday. I've gone twice before and let me say it was a very first for me to strip down stark nekkid to show her how bad my eczema has blown up. But I had no shame and was more than willing to oblige. I also brought all the topical creams and ointments I was using on my skin and scalp.
This dermatologist was very nice and sympathetic. I liked her much more than the nazi I saw last time. She congratulated me on being pregnant and then told me that I couldn't have this anti-itch pill because it wasn't good for the baby. Sticky Bun, I love you but damn I'm itchy. Of course, I didn't want to take the pill. She said that she could prescribe a slightly (and when she said slightly, I wondered if she even really meant it) stronger topical cream for me. What's neat is she said she will ask the pharmacy to mix it in with a hypoallergenic lotion so I could slather this stuff on me while hydrating my skin. Bring it! Unfortunately, the pharmacy needs at least 24 hours to do it. DAMN.
So this crazy eczema breakout is not something most pregnant women get. The only thing my doc can think of is that my hormones are a little out of whack (due to the pregnancy) and just activated my skin. There is a pregnancy rash that a lot of women get late in the second trimester or in the third. This is not it. And my goodness I really hope that I'm paying my dues now and that's not something I'll get in a few months!
Unless you've ever had eczema or maybe poison oak, I don't think a person can understand how much itching can drive you crazy. Oh my goodness, I'm ready to set fire to my skin! Of course, not really but I want to so badly. It's on my hands, arms, neck, chest, back, legs and even toes! It's not noticeable unless you really look but I've never had it sprinkled about my body like this.
Oh baby. I still love you. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those mamas that love being pregnant. I want to be. But I'm eating like a heiffer and itching like a I-don't-know-what. Though maybe it's because I wrote it down but I've started to feel nauseous earlier in the day. I didn't eat as much yesterday and even though I hate the feeling of wanting to throw up, I think I needed something to regulate my appetite. I mean, I'm fully prepared that I will gain weight but this is pretty gosh darn early. And probably not healthy for you or me, baby, to get big this early in the game.
I'm thinking about when I have to tell work. At first, I was thinking after my review but I'm thinking that Sticky Bun will be showing in July ... yah, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. Maybe pregnancy brain? Anyway, I think I'll wait after my first trimester and then talk to HR first, then my boss, then make an email announcement (because I'm hardly ever in the office.)
I'm literally taking baby steps :) Right now, I'm reading about how Sticky Bun is growing and what I should and shouldn't be eating. After my first trimester, I will start let myself think about the nursery and *gasp* baby clothes! But I haven't even looked at maternity clothes yet because I just want to focus all my happy thoughts and energy on Sticky Bun's growth and health.
Saw the dermatologist yesterday. I've gone twice before and let me say it was a very first for me to strip down stark nekkid to show her how bad my eczema has blown up. But I had no shame and was more than willing to oblige. I also brought all the topical creams and ointments I was using on my skin and scalp.
This dermatologist was very nice and sympathetic. I liked her much more than the nazi I saw last time. She congratulated me on being pregnant and then told me that I couldn't have this anti-itch pill because it wasn't good for the baby. Sticky Bun, I love you but damn I'm itchy. Of course, I didn't want to take the pill. She said that she could prescribe a slightly (and when she said slightly, I wondered if she even really meant it) stronger topical cream for me. What's neat is she said she will ask the pharmacy to mix it in with a hypoallergenic lotion so I could slather this stuff on me while hydrating my skin. Bring it! Unfortunately, the pharmacy needs at least 24 hours to do it. DAMN.
So this crazy eczema breakout is not something most pregnant women get. The only thing my doc can think of is that my hormones are a little out of whack (due to the pregnancy) and just activated my skin. There is a pregnancy rash that a lot of women get late in the second trimester or in the third. This is not it. And my goodness I really hope that I'm paying my dues now and that's not something I'll get in a few months!
Unless you've ever had eczema or maybe poison oak, I don't think a person can understand how much itching can drive you crazy. Oh my goodness, I'm ready to set fire to my skin! Of course, not really but I want to so badly. It's on my hands, arms, neck, chest, back, legs and even toes! It's not noticeable unless you really look but I've never had it sprinkled about my body like this.
Oh baby. I still love you. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those mamas that love being pregnant. I want to be. But I'm eating like a heiffer and itching like a I-don't-know-what. Though maybe it's because I wrote it down but I've started to feel nauseous earlier in the day. I didn't eat as much yesterday and even though I hate the feeling of wanting to throw up, I think I needed something to regulate my appetite. I mean, I'm fully prepared that I will gain weight but this is pretty gosh darn early. And probably not healthy for you or me, baby, to get big this early in the game.
I'm thinking about when I have to tell work. At first, I was thinking after my review but I'm thinking that Sticky Bun will be showing in July ... yah, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. Maybe pregnancy brain? Anyway, I think I'll wait after my first trimester and then talk to HR first, then my boss, then make an email announcement (because I'm hardly ever in the office.)
I'm literally taking baby steps :) Right now, I'm reading about how Sticky Bun is growing and what I should and shouldn't be eating. After my first trimester, I will start let myself think about the nursery and *gasp* baby clothes! But I haven't even looked at maternity clothes yet because I just want to focus all my happy thoughts and energy on Sticky Bun's growth and health.
11 weeks
Written 3/27 at 7:30am.
There are changes that a few people mention but, truly, they aren't really pointed out unless you read the baby book. So let me confirm what you may have already known or tell you stuff that no one has bothered to tell you about the miracle of pregnancy:
1. Energy is ZAPPED. I didn't know how much the baby needed or how much my body needed to whomp up a baby but WOW. I was in bed as much as possible and either trying to sleep or successfully sleeping. If I could have been in bed all day, I would have. And I think I actually did that on the weekends.
But the other part is true. Towards the end of the first trimester (or into the second), your energy does come back. This week I've been staying out of bed until 9:00pm. That is a really big deal for me because just two weeks ago, I was crawling into bed around 4:00pm. I still have a problem waking up early in the morning. I'm hoping that I will be able to get my groove back so I may go back to bootcamp three times a week - I've been going only once or twice.
2. Even though the baby is smaller than the size of my thumb, I have had to pee, sometimes multiple times, in the middle of the night every single night for at least a month. I don't get it. The baby is super small. But pee I must so pee I go. This makes it difficult, unfortunately, to have a restful night's sleep because I often stay up afterwards, pleading with my brain to shut down so I can pass out!
3. This problem probably won't apply to most people but, if you're a person who likes to sleep on your stomach, you're SOL. I thought that it would only be a problem when I had a bulging tummy but I was wrong. It's already incredibly uncomfortable and I'm trying to adjust to sleeping on my back. It's a bit awkward.
4. I already have a hard time fitting into my pants. This surprised and made me ashamed. I have lost two pounds and yet my stomach still hurts when I wear regular pants so I guess it is what it is. I find it odd, though, because it's only 11 weeks and I know the baby is super small. But I am a fan of being comfortable so I bought a couple of maternity pants and I am so thankful! Yes, one pair of jeans (at least the waist) looks like those mama jeans from the 80s with the elastic waist band but whatever! It feels GREAT.
Of course, there are the affects people DO expect like morning sickness. My sister said that I'm very lucky that it's not so bad. I am thankful for this because I have a low tolerance for pain and the nausea I currently experience is just about all I want to handle. Last month, I was nauseous first thing in the morning and then at night, around 8:00pm. Sometimes the morning sickness hits me a little earlier in the evening but I'm able to keep food down. But it was another reason why I laid down a lot - resting kept me from vomiting.
I did throw up a few times. And even though they modified boot camp for me, I threw up a couple of times from the exhaustion. But, as I mentioned, I'm glad it wasn't worse. I've learned that I don't deal well with Mexican food, though, as well as food heavy with onions and/or garlic. I also don't care for fish or meat. It's true when they say that you will develop strong likes and dislikes.
Oh, and the part about the boobs is very true. I yelled bloody murder when the puppies would step on them or leap on me and lean on them. It took all my energy not to slap The Man when he accidently grazed them or bumped into them. My chest was super sensitive. I hated it when we had to do jumping jacks or when I ran without two sports bras. They are starting to hurt less as I end my first trimester (as predicted by the baby book) and I'm so glad!
So there it is. Week 11. I have lots of worries and have gone to the lab several times and have another doctor's appointment. But I pray all the time that our baby is healthy physically and mentally. I know that any uncomfortableness I'm experiencing will be worth it for a healthy baby.
And, hopefully, in a little less than two weeks, we can FINALLY come out of the baby closet!
There are changes that a few people mention but, truly, they aren't really pointed out unless you read the baby book. So let me confirm what you may have already known or tell you stuff that no one has bothered to tell you about the miracle of pregnancy:
1. Energy is ZAPPED. I didn't know how much the baby needed or how much my body needed to whomp up a baby but WOW. I was in bed as much as possible and either trying to sleep or successfully sleeping. If I could have been in bed all day, I would have. And I think I actually did that on the weekends.
But the other part is true. Towards the end of the first trimester (or into the second), your energy does come back. This week I've been staying out of bed until 9:00pm. That is a really big deal for me because just two weeks ago, I was crawling into bed around 4:00pm. I still have a problem waking up early in the morning. I'm hoping that I will be able to get my groove back so I may go back to bootcamp three times a week - I've been going only once or twice.
2. Even though the baby is smaller than the size of my thumb, I have had to pee, sometimes multiple times, in the middle of the night every single night for at least a month. I don't get it. The baby is super small. But pee I must so pee I go. This makes it difficult, unfortunately, to have a restful night's sleep because I often stay up afterwards, pleading with my brain to shut down so I can pass out!
3. This problem probably won't apply to most people but, if you're a person who likes to sleep on your stomach, you're SOL. I thought that it would only be a problem when I had a bulging tummy but I was wrong. It's already incredibly uncomfortable and I'm trying to adjust to sleeping on my back. It's a bit awkward.
4. I already have a hard time fitting into my pants. This surprised and made me ashamed. I have lost two pounds and yet my stomach still hurts when I wear regular pants so I guess it is what it is. I find it odd, though, because it's only 11 weeks and I know the baby is super small. But I am a fan of being comfortable so I bought a couple of maternity pants and I am so thankful! Yes, one pair of jeans (at least the waist) looks like those mama jeans from the 80s with the elastic waist band but whatever! It feels GREAT.
Of course, there are the affects people DO expect like morning sickness. My sister said that I'm very lucky that it's not so bad. I am thankful for this because I have a low tolerance for pain and the nausea I currently experience is just about all I want to handle. Last month, I was nauseous first thing in the morning and then at night, around 8:00pm. Sometimes the morning sickness hits me a little earlier in the evening but I'm able to keep food down. But it was another reason why I laid down a lot - resting kept me from vomiting.
I did throw up a few times. And even though they modified boot camp for me, I threw up a couple of times from the exhaustion. But, as I mentioned, I'm glad it wasn't worse. I've learned that I don't deal well with Mexican food, though, as well as food heavy with onions and/or garlic. I also don't care for fish or meat. It's true when they say that you will develop strong likes and dislikes.
Oh, and the part about the boobs is very true. I yelled bloody murder when the puppies would step on them or leap on me and lean on them. It took all my energy not to slap The Man when he accidently grazed them or bumped into them. My chest was super sensitive. I hated it when we had to do jumping jacks or when I ran without two sports bras. They are starting to hurt less as I end my first trimester (as predicted by the baby book) and I'm so glad!
So there it is. Week 11. I have lots of worries and have gone to the lab several times and have another doctor's appointment. But I pray all the time that our baby is healthy physically and mentally. I know that any uncomfortableness I'm experiencing will be worth it for a healthy baby.
And, hopefully, in a little less than two weeks, we can FINALLY come out of the baby closet!
Hanging out in mama's uterus
Written 4/4/09 at 9:48am
That's what Sticky Bun was doing. The Baby was lying on his/her back, hands behind the head and legs crossed up in the air. I was amazed that my baby looked like a baby (last ultrasound which was actually the first, SB looked like a shrimp.) And I laughed because of course my baby would be just chilling in my tum-tum, hanging out:) I admit, I cried a little because there was MY BABY and this whole experience is actually real. It's also been really trying because I have remained what I call 'conservatively excited.'
This whole time, I've been worried about the mental and physical health of my baby. I have talked to a genetics counselor because of the family history (my brother has autism as well as my cousin.) Granted, there is actually no way to detect autism. But it also made me worry about retardation and other mental problems. I received a call yesterday from the genetics counselor letting me know that my blood work came back negative and I am not a carrier of a special chromosome that could be a cause of a combination of retardation and autism. I am so happy. They stressed that this does not mean that baby is certain to become autistic but it does rule out one possibility. I am very happy about that. It so happened that yesterday was also the day I had my special ultrasound which is supposed to detect any abnormalities and, again, everything looks good. So that's why I cried. Imagine having to hold back your happiness, your excitement, because you weren't sure what was going to happen and you just didn'twant to get your hopes up. I know that moving forward, there are still endless possibilities of harm or poor health but at least I know that at this point, the baby is golden. So so happy.
The Man couldn't come to the last two appointments because of work. I actually didn't mind because I purposely scheduled my appointments during the day because it was most convenient for me (I hate waiting at hospitals and everyone makes appointments after work.) But this last appointment was so awesome, so rewarding. SB was kicking, moving around and even bounced:) I got to watch the baby for 20 minutes while the technician and then the doctor took images. I probably could have watched all day. It was surreal, seeing this little baby so active and I couldn't feel a thing. When I took two images home to show The Man, it just wasn't the same. His experience, while he was happy, just wasn't the same. So I asked him that he come to the next appointment so he can see SB as well as find out with me the gender of our baby. I think that seeing the baby move will be a much better and much more fulfilling experience for him. I can't wait!
That's what Sticky Bun was doing. The Baby was lying on his/her back, hands behind the head and legs crossed up in the air. I was amazed that my baby looked like a baby (last ultrasound which was actually the first, SB looked like a shrimp.) And I laughed because of course my baby would be just chilling in my tum-tum, hanging out:) I admit, I cried a little because there was MY BABY and this whole experience is actually real. It's also been really trying because I have remained what I call 'conservatively excited.'
This whole time, I've been worried about the mental and physical health of my baby. I have talked to a genetics counselor because of the family history (my brother has autism as well as my cousin.) Granted, there is actually no way to detect autism. But it also made me worry about retardation and other mental problems. I received a call yesterday from the genetics counselor letting me know that my blood work came back negative and I am not a carrier of a special chromosome that could be a cause of a combination of retardation and autism. I am so happy. They stressed that this does not mean that baby is certain to become autistic but it does rule out one possibility. I am very happy about that. It so happened that yesterday was also the day I had my special ultrasound which is supposed to detect any abnormalities and, again, everything looks good. So that's why I cried. Imagine having to hold back your happiness, your excitement, because you weren't sure what was going to happen and you just didn'twant to get your hopes up. I know that moving forward, there are still endless possibilities of harm or poor health but at least I know that at this point, the baby is golden. So so happy.
The Man couldn't come to the last two appointments because of work. I actually didn't mind because I purposely scheduled my appointments during the day because it was most convenient for me (I hate waiting at hospitals and everyone makes appointments after work.) But this last appointment was so awesome, so rewarding. SB was kicking, moving around and even bounced:) I got to watch the baby for 20 minutes while the technician and then the doctor took images. I probably could have watched all day. It was surreal, seeing this little baby so active and I couldn't feel a thing. When I took two images home to show The Man, it just wasn't the same. His experience, while he was happy, just wasn't the same. So I asked him that he come to the next appointment so he can see SB as well as find out with me the gender of our baby. I think that seeing the baby move will be a much better and much more fulfilling experience for him. I can't wait!
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