Oh baby

Written 3/6/09 at 8:27am.

Saw the dermatologist yesterday. I've gone twice before and let me say it was a very first for me to strip down stark nekkid to show her how bad my eczema has blown up. But I had no shame and was more than willing to oblige. I also brought all the topical creams and ointments I was using on my skin and scalp.
This dermatologist was very nice and sympathetic. I liked her much more than the nazi I saw last time. She congratulated me on being pregnant and then told me that I couldn't have this anti-itch pill because it wasn't good for the baby. Sticky Bun, I love you but damn I'm itchy. Of course, I didn't want to take the pill. She said that she could prescribe a slightly (and when she said slightly, I wondered if she even really meant it) stronger topical cream for me. What's neat is she said she will ask the pharmacy to mix it in with a hypoallergenic lotion so I could slather this stuff on me while hydrating my skin. Bring it! Unfortunately, the pharmacy needs at least 24 hours to do it. DAMN.
So this crazy eczema breakout is not something most pregnant women get. The only thing my doc can think of is that my hormones are a little out of whack (due to the pregnancy) and just activated my skin. There is a pregnancy rash that a lot of women get late in the second trimester or in the third. This is not it. And my goodness I really hope that I'm paying my dues now and that's not something I'll get in a few months!
Unless you've ever had eczema or maybe poison oak, I don't think a person can understand how much itching can drive you crazy. Oh my goodness, I'm ready to set fire to my skin! Of course, not really but I want to so badly. It's on my hands, arms, neck, chest, back, legs and even toes! It's not noticeable unless you really look but I've never had it sprinkled about my body like this.
Oh baby. I still love you. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those mamas that love being pregnant. I want to be. But I'm eating like a heiffer and itching like a I-don't-know-what. Though maybe it's because I wrote it down but I've started to feel nauseous earlier in the day. I didn't eat as much yesterday and even though I hate the feeling of wanting to throw up, I think I needed something to regulate my appetite. I mean, I'm fully prepared that I will gain weight but this is pretty gosh darn early. And probably not healthy for you or me, baby, to get big this early in the game.
I'm thinking about when I have to tell work. At first, I was thinking after my review but I'm thinking that Sticky Bun will be showing in July ... yah, I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. Maybe pregnancy brain? Anyway, I think I'll wait after my first trimester and then talk to HR first, then my boss, then make an email announcement (because I'm hardly ever in the office.)
I'm literally taking baby steps :) Right now, I'm reading about how Sticky Bun is growing and what I should and shouldn't be eating. After my first trimester, I will start let myself think about the nursery and *gasp* baby clothes! But I haven't even looked at maternity clothes yet because I just want to focus all my happy thoughts and energy on Sticky Bun's growth and health.