Let's play a game called

"HOW TACKY CAN YOU BE???"

*Names & relationships have been changed to protect the guilty. And me.*

I have a nice relationship with my old professor, Dr. Mahbad. I was her student a few years ago and have known her for almost three years now. While we aren't friends, I have the deepest respect for Dr. Mahbad. She's one of the youngest yet most influential professors at the university. She's witty, professional, intelligent and likeable. She would invite us grad students to her house at the end of each semester for dessert and drinks. I took four classes taught by her so I had been to her house several times. Even after graduating, she still invites us to dinner during the holidays. Dr. Mahbad and I meet for coffee often and she gives me advice and serves as somewhat of a mentor.

Last week, after a recent visit with Dr. Mahbad, I noticed that she seemed stressed out. Her recent promotion has added a lot more responsibility and I saw it was taking a toll on her. I decided to buy her a little present - a basket of Bath & Body Works products with a card saying that she's a wonderful professor and to hang in there. I took it to the university on Friday morning and left it with her secretary.

A couple of days passed and I didn't hear anything. Oh well, no one's perfect so I didn't think much of it. Today, I was in the city for a conference so I stopped by the university to see if Dr. Mahbad was in better spirits. Before going to her office, I had to pass the secretary's desk. Her secretary wasn't there but I noticed that the basket was still on her desk. Well that explained why I haven't received a thank you. She hasn't received my gift yet! But that's weird, how can you not notice it? I stepped closer and saw a card affixed to it, in Dr. Mahbad's handwriting, that read, "To: Dr. Fwuksi-Happy Belated Boss's Day!" There was also a sticky note to her secretary to drop the basket off at Dr. Fwuski's office today.

She regifted my gift.

I didn't know how to react. For some reason, I felt embarassed. For her, for me, for the entire situation. I gave that gift because I wanted to cheer her up and let her know that she was appreciated. She went and slapped a card on it and bam! It was now a gift from her to Dr. Fwuksi. The only way I can describe how I felt is like this - my intentions and well wishes were cheapened and stepped on. Don't get me wrong. I mean , c'mon, I've regifted, you've regifted, we've all regifted. But to SEE my gift regifted ... that's just, well, tacky.

I left the office without saying hello. I went home and saw that Dr. MahBad e-mailed me a thank you note. Well, at least she remembered to do that. Of course, I had to call one of my friends, Yahn, who's also a former student of Dr. Mahbad's. When I finished my story, Yahn said, "Are you fuckin' kidding me??" And then tried to comfort me. "Well, you can think of it like this: You gift was SO nice that she thought it was good enough for her boss." I probably muttered a cuss word in return. When Yahn figured out that I wasn't pissed or hurt, she said, "If I were you, I wouldn't buy her another GD thing again. She fuckin' sucks at gifts." (This is true. She's terrible at giving gifts, too.) So I won't. She'll get an e-mail greeting or maybe a card but never again a gift. We're not friends but I still respect her and I'll never know when I'm going to need a reference.

I don't believe that regifting is bad. But for crap's sake, don't regift in the same environment in which you receive. Not at work, in the same circle of friends or within a family. And more importantly, don't get caught. Like I said, I'm not mad, upset, or even hurt anymore (it passed pretty quickly.) But the whole thing is still pretty moded. And tacky.