THAT GUY.

There's always one. That person in your life that you're stuck forever with or for a very long time. It's because they're a coworker, relative, significant other or best friend of a mutual best friend. Either way, whether you like it or not, THAT guy is in your life.
Yup, I got one of those.
I try to make the best of it but it's very, very hard. Typically, if I don't get along with a person because he or she rubs me the wrong way, is morally or ethically questionable or just plain wrong, is annoying or is a liar, or let's face, is a complete ass, I avoid said person. I make the person an insignificant role within my life. Or, better yet, non-existent by cutting him/her out of my life. For instance, I once had to sacrifice a best friendship because I couldn't pretend to like her husband anymore.  Even though she suspected he stepped out on her, she wouldn't leave him. I get it - things aren't black and white. I respected her decision even though I didn't necessarily agree with it. It's her life. But it was really hard for me to stand by and witness as he kept cheating on her. It wouldn't have been fair to her if I told her how I really felt about him. Our best friendship waned which was very sad but it was just too hard to stand by and watch without saying anything. I think she understood and, honestly, was glad she didn't have to hear it. Yes, there were times when I couldn't keep my mouth shut and shared how I felt. But that must be hard to hear when she chose to forgive him again. In the end, my sanity stayed in tact and we remained friends which I don't know would be the case if I had stayed an important person in her life because I would eventually confront her husband, the That Guy in this instance, on his cheating ways. He is also a piece of work in other ways but that to go into that whole ordeal is a long story and not the point of this one.
Every so often, I've got to deal with THAT GUY because I have no choice.
Well, That Guy (TG) has taken on a different form and is now back in my life. TG is unavoidable and just about every day I struggle because I feel my energy becoming negative with all the resentment I feel towards TG. I'm also frustrated with myself because I know I'm giving TG too much influence. "I'm better than this!" I think when I let TG get the best of me.
Here's the thing, TG has pulled the wool over many eyes. In fact, there is only one other person in our group who sees TG in the same light. It's a huge relief to know that I'm not delusional. What's funny is the other person is also relieved to know that I know because she felt this way for many more years since she's known TG a lot longer. Let me describe TG as best as I can. I'll start off describing how TG is perceived by our group of friends and acquaintances:
That Guy appears to be very nice. TG is good with first impressions, coming off helpful, sweet and an all-around good person. TG appears to be mellow, open-minded, drama-free and a team player. TG almost seems like a people pleaser, willing to help even though TG has a very busy life.
Now here is how TG really is:
TG is very judgemental. TG has strong (negative) opinions about just about everyone in our group, with the exception of a couple of folks. TG thinks TG is the one who carries the group and is basically the backbone who makes the biggest contribution but gets little if any glory. TG marginalizes what everyone else does for a living as well as their contribution to the group and honesty, doesn't respect their talents or skills.
What's interesting is we have other people in our group who are much more caring, nurturing and loving. But TG thinks that TG is the only one who does the grunt work whenever we make plans. Here's the thing: TG actually pushes back on a lot of suggestions other people have on how TG could contribute to the group and, when forced to help, is passive aggressive. TG complains (but I think TG thinks it's "venting") a lot to others but never directly to the individual TG has conflict with. TG is opinionated but, I've learned, can't back it up and won't be upfront with others. Instead, TG will share with those outside the group to get sympathy by positioning oneself like a victim or martyr. And, to be perfectly honest, TG isn't nearly as great as self-perceived - TG isn't meticulous but, in fact, sloppy and when called out on it, puts it on other people and never "owns" the mistakes TG made. TG also makes sure TG does the least amount of work.
That Guy is effin' infuriating.
I don't know if it's my exhaustion with pregnancy or every day life but I am TIRED of That Guy. Having to put up with That Guy in my life on a regular basis is extraordinarily frustrating and annoying. I try to ignore That Guy but I can't because That Guy is around All. The. Time. And, as I mentioned, there is no way I can remove That Guy out of my life or confront That Guy because it would cause a major disruption AKA $hit storm. Our every day lives are intertwined too much that I can't confront TG or even ignore because we are too closely connected. Yes, even closer than a former best friend because there are other relationships at stake.
As I mentioned, I try just about every day to not let That Guy get to me. I know I'm giving TG too much power by affecting my day. I'm not joking, I even pray that I will be strong enough to rise above the negativity That Guy creates. Yes, this is also one of the reasons why I've taken up yoga again! But I feel like just about every day I fail. I fail by either letting That Guy affect my mood or by sinking to TG's level and sh*t talking about That Guy to the one friend who also sees through TG's facade and knows about TG's truly bad attitude has and the smack talking TG does about our group.
I know I'm better than that yet I fall short just about every day. Ugh. And I know it doesn't say much about my character. I had to finally write about it because this has been going on for months. I think I'm also hoping that maybe trying something different will help me change. This negative energy I'm either releasing by talking about it or keeping it stored inside me can't be good The Bean! I know, that sounds kind of hokey but I do think it helps if I'm more serene than angry while pregnant.
I've got to try to conquer this. Let's face it, with my track record, there will be a major confrontation/blowout down the road. I promise. Someone had already tried to confront That Guy about this a couple years ago and it was a complete fiasco. Also, TG never took any accountability. To this day, TG thinks it was entirely the other person's issues. I swear, there is no reasoning with That Guy. It would be a knock down, drag out fight should one try to stage an intervention or confrontation. So what is there left to do? I'm out of ideas.
I will continue to do yoga, pray and try to let only positive energy inside ... and figure out how to let TG's negative energy bounce off of me. I welcome all (rational) ideas anyone has, though, because clearly I need them!