It's like a month long period or something

I know myself enough to know that I get very emotional before my period. And I can go through all sorts of emotions in a short period of time. I can get angry (bitchy) on a dime. Or start crying when I see a Hallmark commercial. It sucks but I can usually check it. And if I can't check it, I can acknowledge when it's happenening so I don't take it too seriously. But I'm no where near my Power Week. Is it the lack of sleep? Stress? What the heck?
I damn near cried when I saw the video samples of a videographer that I was considering for our wedding. No really. These were complete strangers and the samples brought tears to my eyes because they looked SO HAPPY. And I suppose it was because I knew that they were giving really emotions because they weren't acting, they were in the moment, experiencing their wedding day.
For shit's sake, get it together, woman.
Needless to say, I booked the videographer.
I missed the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. I had to choose between The Office and Grey's Anatomy and since Grey's was such a disappointment last season, it was an easy choice. So I decided to watch Grey's this morning on the internet. I cried a little bit. I don't even think it was that good!! But there was a scene with a man who was going through a life-or-death surgery (shocker) and his family was saying "goodbye" to him just in case he didn't make it (another shocker.) I didn't sob like when Denny died but, again, I had tears in my eyes.
I WANT TO KICK MYSELF IN THE HEAD.

Very tired. And grumpy.

I've been working 10-15 hours a day, depending upon the day. I've also been working on Sunday afternoons and evenings.
I love my job. I probably just don't sound as convincing.
I really still love my job. But I AM TIRED.
I also "volunteered" on Sunday, waking up at 3:30am ... and it is still affecting me four days later!
What is cool is that my hard work is paying off. I told my boss that the work has been taxing but as long as it's producing positive results, I don't mind as much. I was SERIOUSLY in a bad mood yesterday and was worried because I know myself enough to know that I probably shouldn't have been in public. I wasn't going to be spreadin' no sunshine.
But I ended up gaining three more clients yesterday. And it felt good!
But I'm tired. And grumpy. Poor Jon, he had to check me yesterday and asked me why I was in a bad mood and, more importantly, why was I taking it out on him?! I immediately gave him a big hug and a big apology. Oops - bad girl!
All right, that's all I got. I hope everyone is having a fantastic week and, Sister, I hope you are having a beautiful birth-week :)
PS: I have to "volunteer" again this Saturday. Thank goodness for small blessings - it's in the afternoon and for four hours only this time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER!!!!!

My sister is amazing. She is one of my best friends, a wonderful sister, lovely shopping partner, an even better knitting partner, fabulous coffee date, spectacular Matron-of-Honor, and a fantastic unofficial wedding planner. Sister is poised, charming, beautiful, silly, funny, sharp, adorable, and everything good rolled up in one. She loves all things that are pretty and has an eye to know when she can make something into pretty :) She is one of those people that can make beauty all around her. Sister almost always has a positive attitude (and she makes me laugh when she is in a stink mood) and I adore being around here because the day just seems better. I love her so much!!!!!!
Yes, she really is all that and a bag of chicharon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER-GIRL!

(she hates "sister-girl":)

Seriously, who's screwing with me?

How long has my profile stated that I'm from:
Bay Area : California : Afghanistan
??????????????????????????????????????????

OK, OK, I hear you. I HEAR you.

I was hesitant to post pictures of my dress because I didn't want to hear that you didn't like it. I could pretend that I didn't care but let's be honest, I would be sad. Because I really like it. And I bought it sooo ... that's that.
Jon thinks it's pretty and I think it's comfortable. It's simple but has a little sparkle. And we all know I love some sparkle ;) The sandals will look nice with it, even though no one will see them. But I love them so it is oooo-kaaay. I also plan/hope/dream to have glamorous hair and make up.
Anyway, here it is:

Fabric : Belsoie Crepe
"Wide V-neckline accented with embroidery and beading, shirred empire waistline band, and A-line hem with a pick up train at the back. "

Isn't it a great beach wedding dress? Besides, white is so overrated. I mean, really - the jig is up. Just kidding. My dress is white but the only picture they had online was in "honeydew." Like how it gives me a butt? Bonus.
I bought the dress in my current size so it's guaranteed to fit. But I still need to work out because it's a formfitting. And I'll need to wear Spanx. Or something Spanx-like. Nothing like a unitard-bikershorts contraption with a vagina slit to make you feel sexy.

One-two combo

Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, I got hit by the Crappy Week truck.
I worked 15 hours last Thursday. I woke up Friday morning with a crummy attitude.
Amazing how a "sentimental" mood can turn into "pissy" on a dime.
No, pissy isn't the right word. More like crummy.
I just wanted to hide from the world rather than go-get or charge it like I normally do.
Since it's my recruitment season, I still had to visit clients. Probably not the best time to visit clients. Or try to recruit them. (Although being in a pissy or bitchy mood would have been worse. But crummy isn't much better.)
I ended my day around 5:30pm. I poured a glass of wine, popped Stranger than Fiction into my DVD player and crawled into bed. I fell asleep around 7:00pm. The Man had a hard time understanding. I normally turn to him and ask him for a hug. But I wasn't depressed. I was feeling crummy and exhausted. If he had wanted to crawl into bed with me and hide from the world with me, I would have let him. But the couch where he sat wasn't good enough for that. I think he was a little hurt. I tried to explain it wasn't about him. But you know when you're in a crummy mood, explanations tend to be short. I gave up easily and retreated to bed. He came into the bedroom periodically to give me a kiss and make sure I hadn't imploded. He didn't have to worry, I was too tired to do that.
I am so tired. I have to work Sunday so I can get prepared for the week and tie up lose ends from Friday. I am tired. Yes, yes, yes, I still love my job but this is NOT the best part of it. Plus side? I recruited six clients this week. But I am exhausted!

PS: Please please please let my dress look good on me. I'm trying it on today. It would be a wonderful way to end a chaotic week. Oh please. (If it does not, expect a very ANGRY entry to come this afternoon.)

Oh PMS, why do you affect me so?

I've been sentimental these past few days. I actually missed The Man when I was working yesterday. WTF?? I was moved when I was writing my bulletin-thingee for MySpace that was dedicated to my #3, Cyn because it made me miss her. WTF? I couldn't watch anything that had to do with September 11th because within 30 seconds, I would have tears in my eyes (maybe that's normal.)
I think I may need to put a chick flick on and just have a wailing party. Isn't that horrible? I hate that there may actually be a NEED for me to just have a big fat cry fest. Why is that???
Dammit, I just want to bleed already and get this damn PMS over with!

Want to see my wedding sandals????

I had seen them online so I bought them. They came in today. I tried them on (along with two other pairs of sandals) and I loooooooooove these. I absolutely adore them. I sincerely hope that the dress works out because I think they will go well with potential wedding dress.

The sandals cost more than the dress. But I looooove them. Kim had said I would know when I had THE dress because I would love it. I was kind of worried because I didn't love it. The Man liked it a lot so I was sold. But I wasn't in love with the dress. Don't get me wrong, I like it a lot and am over the moon that he thought I looked beautiful in it (THAT was truly the selling point for me) but I wasn't going ga-ga over it.

But these sandals. I am ga-ga over them.
Yes, they are flip flops! But they are beautiful. And an added bonus? They don't make the "Flip flop" noise! You may not agree that they are worth the price. But I absolutely love them and my mom, a gal who loves herself a great deal, even said that I should keep them. They are just ME. MEANT for me. Especially since the reception is actually ON the beach and I'll have to walk in the sand.

I think they are perfect. *Sigh*

PS: Yes, I have a much more positive wedding planning outlook now that (1) the venues have been confirmed and (2) Sister has been alleviating a lot of the stress of finding and interviewing vendors. It's becoming more fun and less stressful. Of course, there are the shoes. They make me happy.

More wedding, work and pictures ... finally!

I should be better at posting but all my pictures are on my personal computer and I always use my work laptop. So I've been putting it off.

Wedding - my Sister has been awesome. She was worried she wasn't earning the title of bad ass MOH (OK, I add the "bad ass" and she just says "Matron of Honor") but she has been fantastic! Check it out:
- She negotiated with the photographer and I just put down the deposit. She loooooves his work and since her eye for photography is better than mine, I trust her. She was so enthusiastic that they had a rate I could work with that it was infectious and now I'm super happy too :)
- We pretty much have a videographer because the photographer has added that component to his business (unless the DVD sample they mail out to me is terrible so fingers crossed!)
- We also have the reverend that I wanted (didn't negotiate but that's OK. And Sister is the one who contact him first to make sure he was available and had a decent rate.)
- Sister has initiated contact with a musician recommended by J.A. so cross your toes for that. Oh, just cross everything and hope everything will all pan out.
- After that, she will be tackling hair and make up stylists!
Sister is even trying to help with stuff that stuff I didn't ask her to which is very sweet of her. I'm trying to figure out what I want as a head piece because I don't want a veil. I'm not sure if I want a haku (head lei) like I had for my graduation ceremony or a rhinestone head wreath (like a tiara but, well, a head wreath.)

I'm so ticked at myself. I was at my JC consultation two weeks ago (I"ll get to that in a minute) and I was flipping through O Magazine. I saw these crystal sandals that I thought were cute. "That might be cute for the wedding!" But I figured I would find something like it on the internet. My 'tarded self did not think to write down the maker or rip out the ad. Side note: No, I wouldn't have felt guilty because I pay good money for JC and yes, I feel like I am entitled to rip out an add from a magazine, if I choose. Call it wrong or right, but that's how I feel. Yet I didn't! And OF COURSE I haven't found them anywhere because I don't know the name! I bet you're thinking, "Well just go on Oprah's O Magazine website, silly." I did. But it was an AD not an article so it's not on there :( I just went on to Zappo's last night, though, and bought three sandals to see which I liked best because, just like Nordstrom, they have an outstanding return policy. Another side note: How scary is it that my credit card company just called me today about "suspicious activity" on my credit card and they're really not suspicious because they are all purchases from me! Ay-yi-yi. My poor pocket book. So hopefully one of those sandals will work out. I have a feeling I will probably fall in love with the one that costs twice as much as my dress because that's just how it works out, right?

Speaking of dress, the dress shop ordered a sample of the dress I think I want (remember, I tried on something similar by a different maker so there's no guarantee that this dress will fall on me the same way) and it should be in by next weekend. I'm so scared! I hope it looks good because the three Nordstrom dresses were HIDEOUS on me. I looked either pregnant or too busty. Ick.

One last bit of wedding news and then that's it. Wedding-ed out yet? Thanks to J.A., I FINALLY have an on site wedding coordinator! My ceremony site is the same place she had her wedding ceremony. She recommended her old on site coordinator when I told J.A. how I'm in limbo between the Sales and Catering people. I called the gal and she said that she would find my file and assign my event to her. Yippeee!! It was so frustrating not being able to move forward with room rates (because there are supposed to be special "wedding" rates for me and my guests) and not being able to discuss the details of my ceremony. Because, if you couldn't tell already, I just want to get all the planning over with as soon as possible so I don't have to think about it until April.

Jenny Craig - Not sure if it's the food or the work stress but I've lost a total of seven pounds between WW and JC and I have 11 more to get to my goal! I'm not making time to exercise so I'm really depending on the program. It's about nine months since I've been this weight (I'm not sure exactly when I got to my heaviest but I remember I finally got on the scale last April after months of avoiding it and saw that I had blown up since my last weigh in.) I'm certain that having a date to work towards also helps drive my desire to lose the weight.

Work - I thought I would want to write about it but I don't. Nothing much has changed since I last wrote. It's still stressful and I think about it a lot. I'm still working long hours and on the weekend but I love it 10x more than my old job so I suppose it's not that bad.

And finally! Here are some pictures on our day trip to Santa Cruz for The Man's 30th birthday -
I don't know why he always has to make a face. I told him that the odds were hard enough of us both looking good in one picture and that he was just making it slim-to-none with his funny faces. (I think he's still handsome in the picture but I can't tell him that because he would just get a big head:)
Aren't our kids cute? They really are our kids. I mean, we can't handle the human kind yet but Piko and Pili are prepping us. And it's sort of scary just how much we adore them. The Man just bought those sun shades that suction cup to the passenger side windows so the puppes won't get hot in the backseat. See, told you. The Man and I also talk about how our puppies make us temporarily forget about our stress from work. They really do!
I thought this was a really cute picture because, while the day was overcast, it was still humid. So Pili just collapsed right next to the water bottle. What you can't see is that she next rested her chin on the side and stuck her tongue out to drink the water. Oh, I just realized you can also see the poop bags. Ignore the poop bags.
I still think it was a beautiful day even though it was overcast. The beach, along with our puppies, help put Jon* and me in better moods. I think both are therapeutic. Yet free! :) So that's how we spent The Man's 30th birthday. I know Pookie is thinking right now, "Uh-uh! I know how Jon releases his stress - freakin' Kung Fu movies!" She's right. But the puppies and beaches are something I can actually enjoy.

All right, that's most of the stuff going on in my little ol' world right now. Hope all is good with you!!

*I'm with Kim - I can't get used to the Jun/Jon changed either! So I told Jon that it was going back to Jon and he said that it's not neccessarily wrong. Evidently his family writes Jon, Jun or John. Well damn. So it's back to Jon y'all!

Work ... wedding ... wedding ... work ...

I've been getting up at 5:30am every day. For no good reason, really. Haven't been going to the gym (I've been a bad bad girl since I sprained my ankle) or anything of the like. I just take a loooong time getting ready. I like to make coffee, watch the news, go online, prepare for work in case I forgot to do something the night before and THEN get ready. I'm out the door by 8:00am. I can't imagine having kids right now. For all the things I forget to do before I leave and then the multiple times I come back into the house because I forgot to bring something with me ... let's just say that if I brought a kid into the picture, I wouldn't leave the house 'til noon. Like I said, I get up at 5:30am for no good reason.
Tell me this - would you guys like me to STOP blogging about the wedding? I feel like it's getting old. Anyway, if it gets annoying, let me know (in a nice way, please.) But that's all I've been doing lately. If it's not working 12-14 hours, it's doing wedding stuff.
By the way, I got to give props to Sister. She has been a tremendous help in taking the recommendations I received from different sources, screening out the mediocre ones, making calls and negotiating in her sweet way. ("My sister works in non-profit, by the way. Oh yes, she's actually working right now. On Labor Day Weekend! So I'm helping her out with the planning. Did I tell you she works in non-profit?")
That just leaves me with the ceremony and reception venues. Easy right? Hell-mutha-effin-no. For pete's sake, I thought it would be easier and faster than this. I still need to receive final confirmation and information from both places and one is taking its sweet ol' time. I seriously hope that the wedding coordinator is better than the sales manager or I'm going to be sad. Or pissed. Probably both. I'm crossing my fingers for a kick ass wedding coordinator. Please cross your fingers, too.
As for work, I worked on Monday but still feel like I'm behind. I actually don't mind that much that I had to work but I do mind that I feel like I'm still behind. That part stinks. Yes, I still love my job but I will be extremely relieved when the next six weeks pass. Until then, I'm allowing myself not to have gym time (I really am prepping for work in the morning) and two cups of coffee a day. But after that, it's back to Power Yoga and just one cup a day!
So that's it. Oh, and the husband-to-be and the pups. Oh yes, the pups. We went out to Santa Cruz this past weekend to celebrate the Man's big 3-0!!!!! I will post those soon.
I hope you're all having a great week and THANK GOODNESS it's Wednesday tomorrow! :)