Bits of naughty ... but not my naughty bits

I went with some friends to a bar/club in San Francisco. As I grow older, these "Night on the Town" plans become less and less so I enjoy them when they do come around. There's truly nothing like partying in the city, right? While the weather was bad, the parking angels were kind to us and we found parking relatively close to our destination, walked by a few strip clubs (yes, we were in North Beach) and found the Dragon Bar in time to not pay cover. Suh-weet.
Since we were a tad early, there was plenty of room to saddle up to the bar and order drinks. I've said this before and I'll say it again - You can try and try but you cannot take the poor out of the girl. It's very easy for me to refuse an offer to buy me a drink. It is damn near impossible for me to not drink a beverage when it's been paid for and put in front of me. As if people around the world are starving because there is not enough alcohol for them to consume. I know, it's twisted and even at that moment I know it's wrong but I feel like it's a social faux pas to not take a drink that has been paid for already. As if I was being so rude to throw away someone's hard earned money. My point? I paid for the first round and bought myself a rum & diet coke. I then received two more rum & diet cokes, a glass of champagne, a lemon drop and a random fruity shot (I never did find out the contents.)
I know who paid for MOST of them. It's quite dangerous when you drink with people who are generous with their money. While it's probably pointing out the obvious, I was tossed off my rocker. Luckily, I had paced myself so I was just sustaining a very nice buzz. Until that last anonymous shot.
Damn that shot.
Once I downed it, I knew I had just waged a war inside my body. I tried drinking lots of water but you know when you know and I knew. I was done for.
I was able to maintain while we were at the bar and even when we got into the car. The kiss of death for me, however, was the nap. I tried and tried to fight it off on the car ride back to my friend's house but I lost and closed my eyes.
Seriously, it took that five minutes for my stomach to go all kujo on my ass.
I woke up and found myself gagging. "Um, do you mind pulling over?"
I have been friends with this gal for about five years and we've had our fair share of drinks. But I've never asked her to pull over. She knew this wasn't good. She took the very next exit and as soon as she stopped I opened the passenger door.
Nothing. The fresh air seemed to do the trick and the gagging went away.
The two gals I was with felt like having some breakfast so we rolled into an IHOP at 1:30am. We sat down, ordered our food and I drank a tall glass of water. But that didn't seem to work. I calmly said, "I'll be right back. I have to vomit in the bathroom." One of them asked if I was sure and I said that all the liquid was just not settling well. So off I went to do the deed and then I washed up and went back outside and was happy to hear that I didn't look like I had done what I did. I'd like to think I'm a tidy person, even in gross times such as these. I felt a lot better by the time we left. I picked up my car and drove 15 miles back to my home.
When I parked in my driveway, the demons in my stomach stirred again. I had wanted to go to a chinese restaurant and order wonton noodle soup but my nonAsian friends felt that hashbrowns, toast, eggs and bacon were a much better remedy. I was sure I would wake The Man up because the bathroom is right across from the bedroom. Soooooooo ...
I made the decision to vomit in the driveway, hiding behind my car and the garage. At the time, it seemed like the best idea. I was hidden, the rain would wash it away and I didn't have to worry about waking up Jon. Once I was done, I walked inside, stripped off the clothes, washed my face, brushed my teeth and passed out in bed. Please believe that this was not a proud moment for me. While I was ecstatic that I did not wake up with a hangover, how embarassing is it to have to hose off your driveway while the love of your life is waiting in the garage, rolling his eyes, because I didn't want him to see that the rain didn't do its' job? In addition, I was so useless the next day, all I wanted to do was sleep because I was exhausted. The Man said that my party girl days are over. 21 I am not. I think he's right. While I love to dance the night away, I seem to get in a lot less trouble when drinking in the safety of a loved one's home. And I seem to have a lot more control over my alcohol intake.
Yes people, I am welcoming my 30th birthday with open arms.