Religion

I have written about this before, here and here. I was raised with God in my life and while I no longer practice the same religion, I knew I wanted to find a church. It doesn’t happen to all parents but it seems that if a couple believes in God, even if they didn’t go to church earlier in their relationship, they decide to go to church again once they have a child.
The Man and I fall into this category.
We decided that even though he hadn’t regularly attended since he was a teenager but still identifies with his religion we would find an Adventist church to join. It may go without saying but I’m just going to say it – it’s a very big deal. We both grew up with church heavily influencing just about every aspect of our lives. We would essentially be raising The Bun in this church community so there needed to be a lot of trust.
We first attended a church near our old home but it felt huge. They were also a more vocal in their worship which was something we weren’t used to and, truthfully, it made us a little uncomfortable. Not that there is anything wrong with it but, like I wrote, church is a very intimate thing. A person needs to feel at ease or else whatever is making one uncomfortable becomes very distracting.
Then we tried a church two cities over in Fremont. It was much smaller. A little too small in the sense that it was very clear who was in attendance as well as who wasn't so we couldn’t go unnoticed. It was quite easy for them to spot new people (us) and this was the kind of church that liked new people to introduce themselves in front of the whole congregation.
Before we sound like Goldilocks when it comes to churchin’, we liked the feel of this particular community. It may not be ideal for shy newbies, but we liked how welcoming everyone was. We liked how they greeted The Bun and patiently waited (over months!) for her to return their greetings. We also liked how they incorporated children in the service by having them collect the offering and then read them a bible story. Sure, there are some things we wished the church had like a choir, bigger congregation or more children present but this church had so much more we liked. In addition to having approachable members, we liked the pastor's outlook on God and humanity. Rather than always concentrating on how we are sinners and undeserving of God's love (like some other churches tend to focus on), he preached how blessed we are to have God's love and how we can strive to be better even in challenging circumstances. We left feeling uplifted after all his sermons. So The Man and I decided the church in Fremont would be our church.
We moved to our current home shortly thereafter so our church became even more of a trek for us, about 25 minutes. We found out that there is another Adventist church just 15 minutes from our new home but we already felt connected to the members in Fremont so we haven’t even visited to see. I started bible study because it’s been a looooooong time, like 20+ years, since I’ve studied the bible. The Man, because he’s just awesome, is studying with me even though he doesn’t have to because he said he could use a refresher.
I have a point.
Another horrific crime happened recently. When I heard the details on the radio, I was overcome with sorrow. I cried thinking how this poor innocent three year old girl depended on her mommy to love her and keep her safe yet she suffered sexual and physical abuse before she was eventually murdered. Why does this happen? I know God is almighty so then why do innocent people get savagely hurt, abused or killed?
I had asked a similar question a couple weeks prior to the woman leading my bible study. She is a truly lovely person who The Man and I have grown very fond of but I didn't understand her answer. Though she spoke at great length and detail, I still felt confused.
This is yet another reason why I’m so thankful to be in the job I have now. I work at a Catholic school that is unapologetically Catholic AND respects everyone’s religious backgrounds. The principal’s words, not mine, but I like that she says this because it's true - we're a Catholic school, we don't shy away from this fact because we're proud of it. And one of the goals is that each student is brought closer to their God, whoever that is, through the school’s studies and beliefs. Even though I’m not Catholic, i appreciate this school encouraging a closer relationship to God and respecting other faiths. I decided to reach out to the priest we have on campus, Father Gerald. I’m so glad that I did.
I told him briefly about my religious upbringing and where I go to church now. Then I asked him my question. I admit, it brought tears to my eyes again. Because I think of the vulnerable people in my life – my autistic brother, my four year old little girl, my frail parents – and I’m terrified something awful or tragic could happen to them. Even though they are good people who cause no harm to anyone, it’s evident that no one is safe in this world.
I wish I could reiterate what Father Gerald said to me because he was so articulate in his explanation and when I try to write it down, it’s not nearly as eloquent. But one of the examples he gave me was comparing God & his children to me & my relationship with my daughter. How I love my her so much, I know more than her and am stronger than her (right now) but as much as I try to teach her, she will make her own mistakes. That really spoke to me because I understand that perspective. Of course, God is much bigger than I but on a much smaller scale, I get it. Father Gerald also said that when one asks, “Where is God?” during a terrible situation, that God can be found in the victim. God can be found in the people seeking justice and change. Like I said, he was much more articulate than I am but that’s essentially our conversation.
I left feeling better. I also left with a feeling of gratitude to have people in my life willing to discuss God with me in a compassionate manner even if I’m not the same religion. I’m also thankful to have found a church community that is welcoming and engaging.
While I know I need to strengthen my relationship with God, I'm comforted by how much he is present in my life.