Going down in blaze of glory

Last Thursday and Friday I went to LA for a work conference.
As you might guess, I am still in the honeymoon stage of my job. Coupled with the fact that I was going to get to hang with some of my most favorite colleagues, I was happy to be going to this conference.
I got up at 4:15am that Thursday morning. Wasn't so happy abut that. The pups somehow know when I'm going out of town because they have a tendency to raise hell ALL NIGHT LONG the night before I leave. I dragged myself out of bed, dragged myself to the aiport and dragged myself onto the plane.
After the double shot latte kicked in, I was normal enough for human interaction. Like most work conferences, we were on the go, go, go. We had a "working" lunch and more guest speakers.
Lucky for us, the last speaker of the day was just spectacular. She was lively and engaging. I was really interested in what she had to say. Truly! I even got irritated that I had to use the restroom because I didn't want to miss any part of her lecture. But I drink 64 oz a day, remember, so I had to go. I was seated in the back and knew I could make a quick exit and return.
I whispered to my seatmate, "Let me know what I miss" and went for the door.
OK, I don't know exactly what happened. I know I meant to open and walk through the door but what I did was a half fall/ half sprawl and HIT the door. Yes, that's right. I ATE IT. Big time.
I had a million thoughts running through my head all at once -
"Sweet Mary, did I just fall?"
"Ow! My ankle really hurts."
"Sh*t, am I covered up? Of COURSE I would be wearing a skirt today."
"This GD ankle hurts like a mother!"
"Maybe no one heard me and I could get back up without too many people noticing."
... and, I'm sure, other things that I can't recall.
This all happened in a split second. So there I was, sprawled on the floor, hoping that I've managed to cover my underoos before anyone saw them. I was a little dazed and I sincerely thought that maybe no one noticed my fall. I thought that I hadn't made a sound. Evidently, I had made a thud against the door, then another thud onto the floor. To make matters worse, a woman had then yelled, "Oh no, the baby!!!!"
See, there was another petite, ethnic (by that I mean brown) gal who happened to pregnant. And the woman who yelled, bless her heart, probably rarely sees brown people so she got us confused and worried a whole bunch of people. So a FLOOD of people come rushing to me. Most already knew it was me, though, and came over to help.
Mind you, all those thoughts and more that I listed above were still racing through my mind. My boss ran over and asked me if I was OK. HER boss had run over and asked if I was OK. The one out of two men in the room asked if I was OK and did I need him to carry me to a chair?
No, no," I waved everyone away, "I'm fine! Just leave me here and go back to the lecture! I'm OK. I just can't move."
Because THAT made sense to me. My ankle hurt and I couldn't pop back up like I thought I could and the lecturer had stopped because I caused a major scene.
I had just wanted to go to the loo.
"Please, go ahead! I'm fine. I'm fine! I just like to be dramatic, is all. Leave me here to collect my thoughts and I'll be fine."
In case you're wondering, yes, I still had to go to the bathroom at this time but my ankle hurt more than anything so I just held it.
The vice president and senior vice president told everyone to go back to their seats and they would take care of me. I didn't want to get up so I kind of butt-scooted through the door and rested outside on the lobby floor (I had nothing to lose at this point.)
Another coworker brought me ice and I eventually heaved myself into a chair. When it was determined that I did not break or twist but had actually rolled my ankle, everyone was OK with leaving me alone with my thoughts until I was good enough to go back into the room.
And that is how I went down in a blaze of glory (without the glory) at a work function.