Complete thoughts? Pshhhhhht!

Well, random complete thoughts - yes. Thought-out paragraphs - a big fat NO.
I loved visiting Sister, WGD and The Boy. I'm sure that having a guest is not the most relaxing thing for them but I was plenty relaxed. We knit, we played, we worked out ... we even went out for some drinks! I love where they live and completely understand why travel magazines tote it as a resort community (but I do love the granola and boondocks of it all, too!!!)
I'm frustrated. I've been working out a lot more and keeping a food diary and haven't lost a pound. And nope, my clothes are looser. To make matters worse, The Man and I measure our waists and we both were s-h-o-c-k-e-d. Talk about facing up after being in denial - "Oh, these jeans are a tad snug but I'm sure my waist has changed only a centimeter." Riiiiight.
Despite being frustrated, I am still a happy person. I am very excited to be getting married. I am almost as excited to be on vacation for three weeks! I haven't taken that long of a vacation while working since ... never! I've either been in between jobs or in school. I feel a tad bit naughty.
Been struggling with the whole name change thing but think I've finally made a decision. Professionally, I'd like to stick with my maiden name. I haven't asked them, though, if I will be forced to change it since I'll be changing it on my SS# and driver's license. But I'd like to be able to keep it my maiden name at work. Everywhere else, I will be Mrs. Ramirez. I'm hoping that being sorted alphabetically by last name is a practice that has been left at school. Random, right? To go from A to R may be a bit jarring, though. I liked getting whatever it was over with first!
The Man just bought his barong for our wedding. (Why he was measuring his waist and had inspired me to measure mine - I'm such a dumb ass.) A friend of mine didn't want her husband to wear one because she thought it looks like a doily. After she pointed that out, I kind of agree. But I still think it's beautiful because it's part of our culture. Plus he will be so much more comfortable than wearing a suit!
I still love my job. It's challenging but I am very happy. I grit my teeth when I say, "Money isn't everything" but I really do believe it.
I'm sad about Heath Ledger. I wasn't his number one fan but I admired his work. He was in one of my favorite movies, 10 Things I Hate About You. Ironically, I think it was his least favorite. Anyway, I suppose it's just yet another example that money isn't everything. But it's not an example that I'm happy to display as proof. He was a dad - poor kid.
I'm getting married in eleven weeks. Unbelievable. I know it's life changing yet there won't be much that will be different in my day-to-day routine. Yet I'm so excited and know that it means so much.

Didn't I just do this?? Oh well, thank Cyn!

things you may or may not know about me... The directions are at the end.

4 jobs I had in my life:
1. High Tech PR intern - back in '99 and it paid $10. I thought I had hit the jackpot!!!
2. Sarah & Vinnie Morning Show intern - woke up at 4:30am for that one. Not paid.
3. KGO-TV production assistant - woke up at 1:45am for that one! I lasted three months. Those were three looooooooooong months. Thankfully, I got a teeny promotion. First job out of college and I got paid $12.75 with no benefits.
4. SF State Dorm Data Entry Clerk - I'm sure it was NOT the title of the job but that's what I did. Double the data entry work because they were on two different systems. I lasted one month and then told them some dumb excuse of why I had to quit. I thought I was going to snap and stab myself in the eye.

4 movies I would watch over and over:
1. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
2. 50 First Dates
3. Little Women
4. The Wedding Singer

4 places I have lived:
1. Parents' house
2. Mary Ward Hall at SFSU
3. Mold infested apartments at SFSU (but I got to room with Kim so it wasn't all bad!:)
4. Treasure Island

4 TV shows that I watch:
1. Cashmere Mafia (it ain't no Sex & the City)
2. Grey's Anatomy - I'm hoping that there's still hope
3. The Office - please pay the writers so I can watch my show!!!!
4. Desperate Housewives - I'm not as big of a fan as I used to be but it's getting good again.

4 places I have been:
1. Hawaii - Oahu & Maui
2. Philippines - Makati, Boracay, Bicol
3. Germany
4. Michigan - I thought I would just throw that in there ;)
**HELL (aka my workplace....AHAH) - so funny, Cyn! That was my old workplace ;)**

4 people who email me (regularly):
1. La Re Doute
2. Amazon
3. Work
4. Yelp

4 of my favorite foods:
1. My dad's cooking - I agree, Cyn! My dad's cooking too!
2. milk chocolate just-about-anything
3. Home cooked Filipino food
4. Sushi

4 places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed - not because I'm sick but because it's a Saturday morning!
2. Hawaii
3. Back at my Sister's
4. almost at any beach on a sunny day

4 Things I am looking forward to this (2008)year:
1. Getting married to the Man
2. Being with him and my family in Hawaii
3. Not working for three weeks!
4. Lose weight in 08 I like that one, Cyn, so I'm keeping it for myself

4 friends I think will respond:
I have no idea!

I suppose there is an upside

I'm trying not to get nervous. Because there really isn't anything I can do, right? I was supposed to get my wedding dress by now but the boutique said that it will be another month. I'm just confused because the dress is so simple and it's not being tailor made to fit me. So why is it taking so long?
I guess the upside is that I get another month to work out and eat right before trying on the dress for alterations. But the control-freak in me wants the dress already in my hot little hands. The paranoid side of me is simply worried that mid-February will come around and the dress will still not be ready. Then I will get really nervous because I definitely need to get the dang thing altered.
I'm not freaking out at this very moment. Because I know that there is still plenty of time. But I am such a deadline person that when someone tells me to expect something by a certain time, I want it by the deadline. Like RIGHT NOW! Ahh well.

Operation: Damn Good in the Wedding Dress

I went to the gym today!
Can I get an Amen?!
I'm sure I don't have to describe how hard it is to psych myself in the morning to go to the gym. First of all, The Man has rubbed off on me. I hated, HATED, how he would press the snooze button every freakin' morning. Now I do that!!! Not only that, I'm actually WORSE than him, pressing the snooze button far more times than him now. (Pay back's a biatch, though, right? Heehee!) Anyway, it's very hard to get myself out of bed, into gym clothes and out the door. But I'm determined now. Because I want to look Damn Good in my wedding dress.
What's funny is being in other friends' weddings never inspired me to work out. I mean, I wanted to but than I would just think, "Well, it's all about the bride, right? No one will be looking at me." So back to sleep I would go. Not even my trips to Hawaii really inspired me to tone and shed a few pounds. I have to say that my own wedding day is a pretty strong motivation for me. Seriously, the last time I was this motivated was senior prom. And that was because my date was 5'6" and weighed only TEN POUNDS more than me. I was determined not to look like a bowling ball next to his pin-sized figure. (Looking back, I should have just gotten another prom date but I was 17 years old and a little dim at the time. No, I'm not shallow enough to just dump the date because of his thin figure, the boy had some baggage. But that is an entirely different post that probably doesn't need to be written.)
I don't want anyone to think that I'm working out for two hours and being all gung-ho. I'm there for a little under an hour, running for 25 minutes and then doing sit ups and weights for the remainder of the time. I know that's not exactly boot camp but I know it's better than what I was doing before. Which was nothing. I'm also not resorting to celery sticks and water. But I am writing down what I eat so I'm more aware of my eating habits. I'm also doing Power Yoga again!!!! I missed it so much and have been doing it for a little over two months.
So I say ... "Bring it on, twelve weeks!" I am determined to look good on our wedding day. Plus, like I wrote before, we're going to be in Hawaii so I would like to look my best. Of course, I'm hoping that all these good habits I'm training myself to do will carry over when I get back from our wedding so it doesn't all go to hell in a hand basket (whatever that means.)
Wish me luck!!!

Needing a little motivation and inspiration ...

... and having three months until my wedding is just the gentle push kick in the ass I need.
Holy smokes, that's 12 weeks. TWELVE WEEKS.
I haven't talked about Jenny Craig in a while because, while I'm still in the program, I've been terrible about sticking to it during the holidays. I also got sick which was the perfect excuse to stop working out.
Well, sweet baby Jeezus (thanks for putting that into my vocabulary, Pookie!) it's time to get SERIOUS! Mama Lu needs to get toned and slim for the Big Day. Because I was the brilliant mastermind who convinced her significant other that it would be FAB-YOO-LEZZ to get married in Hawaii. Well, that means running around half nekkid (well, tanks and shorts or a bathing suit is being half or more nekkid.)
So I'm pushing myself to be better at working out and eating less crap. Remember how I wrote about bacon? NO BACON!
I better look A-M-A-Z-I-N-G in my wedding pictures if I'm giving up bacon. You may be wondering, "What about Jon? Don't you care what JON looks like in the photographs?!" Look. The Man is gorgeous. I think he can either work out or do nothing and he will still look super duper handsome in our pictures. I also better look amazing because I'm going to the gym. I no likee the gym! But I'm going. Because it's good for me. OK, let's be real. Because I'm getting the kick in the ass that our wedding is coming in twelve weeks.
Sweet Baby Jeezus.
----------------------------------------
12:00pm update - I went to the gym! I decided to run, do some sit ups and squats. I felt SO MUCH BETTER after I worked out ... like I accomplished something! I just have to remember how that feels when I have that argument with myself if I should go to the gym. Whooohooo! Now I just got to do the same thing tomorrow. And the next day. Ooh doggie.

Random tidbits

All rightee then. I am not one to back away from a tag ... unless it's an excessive tagger but Pooks is a decent woman. So here are my random bits! That sounded kinda naughty, didn't it?
1. I'm a fairly neat person until I get sick. Then there are used tissues (or what my SO not-so-affectionately calls them, "Snot bombs") everywhere. I used to have them on the floor and would probably still do it except the pups love to eat tissue. Sometimes I'll still accidentally leave them in bed which causes an uproar when discovered by someone other than the owner. Heheh. I still leave a pile on my nightstand because I'll have to blow my nose into the wee hours of the morning.
2. I seriously hate planning events. I mean, I know I've already expressed why I hate entertaining at home but the biggest reason why I don't throw parties is because I hate being disappointed. I hate it when friends flake and I take it way too personally. My brain knows that people, especially friends, don't' mean to disappoint you, it just happens sometimes. But I take it to heart and end up not talking to people for at least a month. I like having friends and don't want to set up myself or anyone else for failure so it's just in everyone's best interest that I don't plan parties. Heaven help me when we have kids.
3. I can eat my money's worth in bacon at breakfast buffets. I mentioned this before but didn't go into detail because it's kind of disgusting. I mean, think about it. Restaurants usually charge almost a buck per bacon slice. I think I can eat anywhere from 20-30 pieces of bacon, no problem. I know, pretty gross, but I can. I have standards, of course. The bacon has to be crispy. Limp bacon is foul.
4. The first time I had a conversation with The Man I was drunk. We had seen each other a couple of times before but never talked. I was three drinks in when he came into the club. And yes, alcohol does make people braver. Or stupid. I was too shy to initiate a conversation with him before but with three drinks under my belt, I was good to go! I thought I was charming but he remembers it a little differently. I like my version of the story.
5. I'm easily sucked into infomercials. I try to change the channel right away because, if I don't, I will end up watching the whole thing. They fascinate me. I guess it's because I studied production value of television as well as some of the tactics used to draw people in that I start looking for these certain things in infomercials. I especially love it when they do a comparison of their product verses Product X and Product X (for instance, like a regular ironing board) becomes the most cumbersome thing ever and the actor nearly kills herself trying to use it. It's so funny because it's completely unrealistic but that is the comparison they give. They do it for shaving razors, too. I love it!
6. We love our pups. A lot. I know it's no secret but I'm actually a little afraid we will have puppy withdrawal when we leave for two weeks for our wedding. We're not going to breakdown into hysterical sobs or anything but I can already picture us saying to each other, "Aww, I miss the pups sleeping with us." On our honeymoon, no less!
7. I love chocolate. I mean LOVE chocolate. I can probably eat a whole box of Sees Truffles in one day. OK, that's a lie. I KNOW I can eat a whole box in one day. I've done it. I'm not proud but it's true. My dad used to say I was like an ant. I had no idea that they were hiding sweets (like in the back of a pantry in an obscure container labelled, "Flour") and I would just find the chocolate. It's like we're soul mates. OK, not really but that is kind of a weird connection to chocolate.

So here are the rules: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, we all want to know them..Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.Okay, I tag (without links cause you know who you are):
Sister
Tater
Kim
Cyn
Tel
Di
Jen
I just went down my blog list :) Hopefully y'all will do it!

Oh, that's right. YOU need a ring, too!

The Man and I have received many exclamations that sound a lot like, "I can't believe you're done planning everything already!" As I've told everyone, I do not enjoy the planning process, I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when things are checked off the list. We aren't completely done planning but the main bulk has been taken care of. And we definitely have loose ends here and there that need tying up.
Like getting The Man's ring. Whoopsies!
See, Jon doesn't wear ANY jewelry for two reasons. The main one is that he's in construction so jewelry proves to be a hazard if worn at work. He doesn't even wear a watch although he could. And I know that his reasoning is actually NOT bull$hit because I've been at a job (it was when I worked for an event management company) where a man caught his wedding ring on a piece of machinery and had to be taken to the emergency room because all the skin from that finger was scraped/pulled off.
For real, though.
The other reason is because he is a Seventh Day Adventist. Don't ask me about the details because all I know about it is that it's a religion and they don't wear jewelry. Call me shallow but that kind of was a deal breaker when I entertained the idea of converting.
Mama likes her some jewelry and ain't no one going to be telling ME that I can't have an engagement and wedding ring!
The Man looked online a while back at wedding rings to see what he wanted. He knew he did not want platinum because he didn't want me to spend a lot of money on something he would wear only on the weekends. (No argument from me!) But we also knew from seeing how my ring has held up that, while platinum is a strong metal, it is by no means scratch resistant. He found this metal called tungsten which was supposed to be very strong, stronger than titanium, and happened to also be the metal used for drill bits. I kind of liked that considering his work is in construction so a ring made of this material seems very him.
Anyway, we kept putting it off and putting off but with THREE AND A HALF months left to the big day, we decided today was the day that we would get his wedding ring. So today we went to the Shane Company to check out their wedding rings. We had gone there before to look at engagement rings and he liked the customer service (they don't work on commission so you don't feel like a carcass on a desert highway surrounded by vultures. You know what I mean.) We looked at the tungsten rings and he liked one style but it was mixed with platinum and Jon felt that drove the price up too high. And, just our luck, they didn't carry the exact same style with white gold. The rest of the styles weren't to his liking. The jeweler asked us if we would consider other metal and we said yes. He said he was glad to hear that. "Well, the great thing about tungsten and titanium is that they are very very strong and will hardly scratch. The bad thing about them is that because they are very very strong, they can never be re-sized once you purchase the ring so the size you buy is the size you must keep. Also, umm, most hospitals do not have cutters strong enough for Tungsten or Titanium. So if you get into an accident ..." he trails off and leaves my imagination to finish his statement.
WHAT?!?! That worried me out enough to say, "Hon, why don't we look at white gold?" I mean, can you imagine? What the F would happen if for some freak reason he was in a freak accident and they needed to cut off his ring because his hands are swelling up but they CAN'T?! So then the F what?!?!?! OK, so I'm working myself up but all these thoughts were racing in my mind. Off we went to the white gold wedding bands section.
Thankfully, The Man liked the selection of rings. He was searching for a ring with a satin finish so scratches wouldn't show up so easily. He also wanted something simple. We had some luck on our side, after all! He found one that he really liked -
We likee! (Been watching too much Sex & the City.)
I ordered the ring and we will be receiving it in a few weeks. I know he won't be wearing it much but I'm glad that he has one and it's one that he really likes. Lawd knows I love mine!
CHECK. One more thing off checked off our list. Now we just have to order his Barong for the wedding.
And, of course, get those damn RSVPs from people ....

In the blink of an eye

Two weeks have passed and it's already 2008! Good lor'.
Christmas was fantastic this last year. Putting up decorations really made a difference. I even invited people over. Seriously, I had different groups of people over the house during the holiday season and entertained. I wouldn't necessarily call them dinner parties but the fact that I entertained is pretty crazy. (I am happy to report that everyone treated my toilet with respect - part of the many phobias that can be read here if one doesn't understand my fear of having people over.)
Anyway, back to the decorations. It wasn't like Christmas threw up in my home but it truly made a difference. I loved the little tree lit up first thing in the morning. OK, an "aww" moment - Jon wakes up before me during the week so he would turn on the Christmas lights on the tree in the bedroom so it would be one of the first things I would see when I woke up. I loved the smell of Christmas trees in the house. I adored seeing all the wreaths, christmas candles, garland, and greeting cards on my curly card holder (which you can buy here. No, I don't get a cut but I think the artist's story is cute and I like the idea of supporting artists.)
Then my sister, BIL & nephew came for Christmas which was a-w-e-s-o-m-e. They were a lot of fun and made the holidays even better. Unfortunately, I got sick and I am pretty useless when I'm sick. I just want to sleep so I didn't get as much quality time as I would have liked. But I was able to enjoy Christmas and hang out with the family. Then Sister planned a little Spa Day with some friends which was very, very nice. I've always liked this particular spa but, unfortunately, hadn't gotten my money's worth with their massages. Until now ;) Nothing like a little Burke Williams lovin', good company, Santana Row still decorated with Christmas cheer and yummy food to make a day spectacular.
Now it's the new year. Sister left a few days ago and decorations have gone down (boo!) except for the little Christmas tree in the bedroom. I'm waiting until the Friday pick up. But the other christmas tree has been put outside and everything else Christmas-y in the house has been packed away. I am a little bit sad but I know that they'll all come back out in 11 1/2 months :)
I also realized that our wedding is in exactly 3 1/2 months. Whoa. Just around the corner. Guess I should put in a vacation request NOW. Guess I should also be hittin' the gym and staying away from everything that is tasty. Damn. But both of us want to lose weight before the wedding and it's seriously and literally down to crunch time. I'm still very put off by the people (who shall remain nameless because it will come back to bite me in the ass if I start naming names even though they will probably never read this blog but I'm still too chicken since these people will be in my life forever) who haven't sent in their RSVP or even bother to contact us. And if you've ever planned a big social event or a wedding, you know what I'm talking about. I just keep telling myself that everything is going to be OK. And my Sister & mom have assured me that there is a certain percentage that the caterers cushion for the assholes that haven't given us a definitely answer yet. Obviously, I'm not quite over it yet and a constant reminder why I don't like to plan events. I also plan to do a little payback when they get married and hem and haw over my decision to attend until the very last minute of their big day. Anyway, as I was writing, we're giving the caterers the definite number and they will be able to add a few people if that's what we will end up needing to do.
But (and my Sister also knows this) I keep telling myself that this shindig is about Jon and me. That what matters most is we are there and that I need to remember how happy I am to be with him. Which is easy until a family member of his or mine tell us that so-and-so thinks they're going but they're not sure and they'll let us know when. Maybe.
So yes, there are many things I'm looking forward to in 2008. I get to see my sister at the end of the month! Then in a few more months we're off to get hitched. Sure, I want to do the other things that I promise to do every year like lose weight. That has proven to be a toughie. But I'm praying for mono so those 15 lbs should come off easy. Kidding. Sort of. I have so much to look forward to and am excited to continue our journey together for yet another year! I've always said how much I love our little circle of bloggers because it's helped me stay close and become closer to many people. I wish all of my friends and family a healthy, happy and prosperous 2008! With lots of love, L

Wish I had been Drunk Baking but I'm stone sober

I made 13 dozen cookies today.
13 DOZEN COOKIES.
Here was my thought process:
"I want to make VS's Coconut Crunch Cookies."
"Hmm, not sure how many people I want to give them."
"I'll just double the recipe."
"Um, I think I doubled it. Or did I triple it? Hm."
Jeezus, that was a lot of baking. Now I remember why I haven't baked in quite some time.
I am giving each of my coworkers six cookies and a Christmas card. Nice huh? I'm also giving my neighbors a dozen cookies and some people who do the same thing as me but in different regions.
There are a butt load of cookies in my house. I think I'll still have leftovers.
On a completely different note, today was my parents' 43rd Anniversary! Isn't that great? Jon and I took them out for dinner. They're so funny - they didn't want to have a romantic dinner for two, they wanted to go out with me/us. Poor things, they're both trying to get over a cold! Anyway, Happy Anniversary, Ma & Daddy! (Not that they would ever be reading this. I hope.)

I'm still recuperating from the 13 dozen cookies.

It's the little things ... even at work

According to the Myers-Briggs test, I love me some compliments. Which is true as long as they're sincere compliments. But who doesn't?! Even the best of the "I" group can appreciate appreciation.
I keep saying how much I love my job. And even though I know it's still the honeymoon stage and that there will always be things that I won't like or get pissed off about, the ten months I spent at my former job were utterly painful and had made me into a different person. In my previous job, I didn't want to make the time to sustain friendships, enjoy my vices like spa treatments or do any fun things, in general. I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep because, yes, it was that bad. In the job I have now, I have a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That's pretty freakin' great if you ask me. Or I'll just tell you.
With any great job, there are challenges. I think for most people, including myself, a job that doesn't present challenges is boring. Well, let's just say that I have no time to be bored in my position. I knew this, however, coming into the job. I thoroughly questioned the person who was leaving the position (and, lucky for me, she was also my friend so I knew she would tell the truth) because I wanted to make sure that the position and the organization would be a good fit for me. She and the people I work for now made sure to tell me the good and the bad, like the fact that my territory is quite a challenge. I would never say that I wasn't warned.
I am a little competitive. I don't necessarily want to be better than everyone. But I want to be better than most and be as good as the best. Odd, I know, but I guess that's why there's the term friendly competition. Anyway, this presents a challenge since my territory isn't so hot, my sales numbers aren't so hot. I am happy (as well as my bosses) that I have had growth. And that's all fine and good but when I compare my numbers to my colleague's numbers, it can be a little discouraging.
I have a point to all this background information.
A few days ago, I was flying back from my work conference with a colleague. We were chatting on the plane when a woman from a row over said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. Do we work for the same organization?" Thankfully, our conversation was totally PC and we told her yes. She then told us her name and that she was an executive director at a nearby office. We told her our names. When I introduced myself, she said, "You! I know you! I know who you are!"
This is when I was momentarily freaking out because I was frantically trying to recall if I had done anything during the conference that I may not have recalled but would cause me great embarrassment.
I replied, "Why?" (I know, odd reply but I wanted to know why she knew me.)
She said, "You're doing really well! I see your name on the weekly sales reports and you're doing really, really well!!"
OK, this is when I thought she might have confused me with someone else because my numbers were nothing to write home about. I honestly was uncomfortable because I figured I would have to correct her and then feel all stupid because it wasn't me. It didn't help that the person I was traveling with had better numbers than me. See what I mean?
But she swore she knew what she was talking about. She asked, "Isn't your name usually highlighted on the weekly reports?" and I told her that yes, for certain things, my name is listed but my numbers were not the highest in our organization. But she was still really excited and said that the numbers are important but growth is too and that she was particularly impressed by my figures. She knew that I was fairly new to the company and was interested in knowing my strategies so she could share them with her new employee. Foreel?
This made my freakin' day.
Because, like I wrote, I love my job. But I'm not rockin' the charts the way my other colleagues are doing. And I know that I have had growth but the bottom line is revenue. And there are many others bringing in the dollah-dollah-bills, y'all. So I was over the moon that someone in a management position who wasn't my boss was commending me for my work. Hell yah it felt good! Because, like I wrote, I think everyone appreciates being appreciated. Because it feels goooood. And all of us hard workers deserve a pat on the back from time to time. (And bonuses, if at all possible.)

A sweet birthday

I had a very nice birthday yesterday. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary but it was still a really good day.
The Man didn't know what to get me and considering how much he/we have spent and how much we are going to spend on the wedding, I told him I wanted a Christmas Tree for my birthday (we haven't had the time to get one.) I wanted a tree that was smaller than five feet because the house is kind of small plus the pups might freak out and knock it over ... because they're mischevious like that. Anyway, I had a glorified bush for a Christmas tree last year that I set on the table but the damn thing died before Christmas. A Christmas tree would make my day.
Jon was so nice - he got off work early so he could spend time with me. Unfortunately, I had meetings all day but I was able to see him in between when I worked from home. I came home at lunchtime and he had the tree all set up. It was so cute! It was a little taller than me but it's still a small enough tree to fit perfectly in the corner of the living room. I love the smell of Christmas trees!
My dad knocked on the door shortly after I came home for lunch. I was surprised because I didn't expect him to come by - he wasn't puppysitting and I was going to see my parents later for dinner. I opened the door and he handed me a tree stand. How did he know Jon bought me a tree for my birthday? I thought that was really cute and gave him a big hug, thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
He had no idea what the hell I was talking about.
So I walked him to the tree, happily showing off more Christmas cheer in my home. My dad's brows shot up as he exclaimed, "I bought you a tree, too and it's in the truck!" My dad, knowing how much I love Christmas and remembering how I wanted a tree back in October, took the initiative to buy me a four foot tree.
Yes, I have TWO CHRISTMAS TREES for my birthday.
My dad is so sweet. He didn't know what to do. He just shook his had and said he wish he had known Jon was going to buy me one. I told him that I loved having two trees and that I'm making up for the fact that I had none last year. Now I have two! He laughed and told The Man that they needed to communicate more. Fat chance. I didn't mind the predicament. Of ALL the problems a person can have, figuring out where to put two Christmas trees wasn't a big deal. And a gal who LOVES HERSELF SOME CHRISTMAS can certainly figure out what to do with two Christmas trees.
The challenge was that my house is a lot smaller now. I have two bedrooms out of order - one is in the middle of being repaired and even The Man doesn't know the timeline and we had to move everything into the guest bedroom so that's why two rooms are "out of order" - so while I live in a three bedroom home, it's more like a one bedroom apartment. After a great deal of thinking (and me failing to convince myself over three hours that it wasn't weird to have two trees in one room,) I moved the smaller tree into my bedroom. It fits there comfortably and it's very pretty at night with the white lights. I go to bed and wake up smelling a Christmas tree! Perfect.
So that's my little birthday story. I feel loved because the two VIM (Very Important Men) in my life both knew that a Christmas tree would make a perfect birthday present.

ENFP

This past week, I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator at our work conference. I've taken this assessment before in college but forgot what I had scored. If you've never taken it before, it's a test (or "assessment" for those who freak out when they see the word, "test") that recognizes type preferences in communication.
I love this kind of stuff. It's kind of like your horoscope but ten times better because it's scientific. OK, so it's social science but scientific, nonetheless.
I know that we all would like to think we're complex people who can't be pegged down by labels. But I like these kind of assessments because it points out your own preferences, lets people know how they should communicate with you and helps you understand how to communicate with others that aren't like you. It can be used in the workplace and in relationships. Foreel. I eat this stuff up.
I wish I could remember what I had scored in college to see if I've changed or am exactly the same. I was a bit surprised when I found out my type -
Extraversion - tend to focus on the outer world of people and things
Intuition (don't know why it's represented by a "N" but it is) - tend to focus on the future with a view toward patterns and possibilities
Feeling - tend to base their decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person-centered concerns
Perceiving - tend to like a flexible and spontaneous approach to life and prefer to keep their options open.
Here is my description:
Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability improvise and their verbal fluency.
I was a little disappointed when I saw my description. Truly. I sounded like a gawd damn Care Bear. I wanted to be described as more of a hard ass, someone who didn't take crap and is stubborn because I think a person needs a bit of grit to be a leader in this world. But hey, maybe this is how I really am and this is how the world sees me. I have to admit, though, that I did identify with a lot of my description.
Well, I just HAD to find out what Jon was when I got home. Yes, I love this stuff that much. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is supposed to be taken in a controlled environment so we weren't allowed to bring the test sheets home. So what did I do? I whited out all my answers and made The Man take it. It may come as no surprise but we are indeed COMPLETE OPPOSITES. I was a little surprised just because I thought we might have two, or at least one, things in common.
He is ISTJ and here are his results:
Introversion - tend to focus on the inner world of ideas and impressions.
Sensing - tend to focus on the present and on concrete information gained from their senses.
Thinking - tend to base their decisions primarily on logic and on objective analysis of cause and effect.
Judging - tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled.
Here is his description:
Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-0f-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized - their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty.
It's so funny because the presenter had said that types are attracted to their opposites and, in our case, it's true! I think it's because we can't always the same all the time. For me, The Man helps me calm down, be low-key and enjoy the quiet. It would be exhausting to be the Energizer Bunny all the time. And I'm sure I add a little bit of chaos to his scheduled world :)

More of the little things ...

I am a happy gal. We cleaned most of the house and were able to put up Christmas Cheer. YAAAAA-HOOOOOOOO!! You know how I love me some Christmas. What was even better was that The Man helped A LOT. He moved furniture, he dusted and he STEAM CLEANED.
Was it no wonder why I said, "yes"? He is a dream.
We don't have a large house but it can be overwhelming to me. When I lived on my own, I would just clean as I would go along so the times of when I would need to do a major cleaning were far and few between.
Now, with two people and two dogs, I should do it every weekend. But I don't.
So I was really irritable this weekend because cleaning the house felt like such a daunting task. And, because of errands, I wasn't able to start until 6:00pm. I have no idea why but if I clean, it must be during the morning and early afternoon. It's quirky but trying to clean at night really irritates me. But when he saw that it was really important to me, The Man manned it up, picked up some paper towels and Endust, and went to work. I vacuumed my little heart out, cleaned the kitchen counters and fridge and cleaned our bathroom (we have two rooms out of order which is another reason I was irritated but that's a different story.) The Man steam cleaned our carpets and moved around furniture to prepare for a new desk. We finished most of the cleaning and I felt a great sense of relief.
The next day, the Christmas decorations went up. I had gone to town purchasing Christmas decorations last year. Wreaths galore, bows and ornaments. But when I pulled out the bins and put everything up, I was surprised to see that it really wasn't that much. I mean, the house is decorated but it's not as Christmas-y (or crazy) as I thought it would be. Maybe it will be different once we get a tree. And I'm just very happy that there is Christmas cheer in my home.
Anyway, I just had to give props to Jon because he feels like I slam him on this here little blog (I thought I wrote something very nice but he thought I made him sound like an anti-social hermit. Oops.) I think we all know I'm not just a huge fan but the fan club president. So just to make it perfectly clear, I really really appreciate him. And it's the little things like helping his woman clean that makes my world go 'round. And I don't mean pansy, pitiful help but full on, moving-the-furniture, thoroughly dusting, getting-all-up-in-the vacuum-to-take-out-a-nasty-clog-for-me help. Thank you!!!

I adore San Francisco

I am a gal from the 'burbs. I grew up in the suburbs and plan on raising a family there, too. But I've always admired San Francisco, like a pretty piece of jewelry. I could see it from across the bay when I was little girl and it just seemed so exciting and grown up.
I lived, worked, and studied in San Francisco for about five years. I don't pretend to know the city like the back of my hand - the way my native San Franciscan friends do or the ones that have lived there for a long time. But I am a lifetime admirer and today reminded me of that.
Today I visited a friend who lives in the Sunset district. We had breakfast near Ocean Beach. I forgot how much I loved the Sunset district. I was always there because of school and would sometimes kill a big gap of time between classes at Ocean Beach. I forgot how nice it was to be so close to the ocean. I could smell the salt in the air and it was cool without being too cold - perfect for walking around.
Then we drove to the Marina district to walk the pups and window shop on Chestnut and Union Streets. I also forgot how fun it is to leisurely walk and shop in the Marina district. The shops had their Christmas decorations up and it made me so happy! I also love browsing in shops that are only in San Francisco. People were out in their Uggs and stylish sunglasses, eating at yummy restaurants, shopping or walking their pooches :) It wasn't as busy as it usually can be during the weekends so I enjoyed walking on the bustling but not over crowded sidewalks. I also enjoyed how many places let pups inside so their owners can shop. So lovely!
I often forget how much I love being in San Francisco. Living 45 minutes away often feels like a different world and seems to make it too cumbersome of a trip to make. There are so many reasons to stay away - horrible parking, too cold, some places are dirty and funky, The Man isn't a fan of the city, and it's kind of a hassle with two dogs! But it's visits like the one I had today, especially during the holiday season, I remember why I adore San Francisco. It's such a beautiful place with so much diversity among its people, sites, food, and merchandise. I admit, I miss living, working and studying in the city! But I'm very thankful to live in the Bay Area where it's only a 45 minute trek to such a wonderful place.

Stuffed, bored and uninspired

I think I'm coming down with a cold (my nose has been running all day and now my throat hurts.) I want to go out but in my (small) pool of friends, the only ones that want to go out live in the city and I don't feel up for the drive.
Yes, I'm feeling lazy.
So I thought I would blog but I really don't have anything to say. I mean, I have a lot of little things I've been thinking about but they don't really tie together and nothing that I feel enough passion about to structure a whole entry around.
So here I am: uninspired, bored, stuffed from T-Day and stuffy. I think I just miss The Man. He's with his family this long weekend and I've come to realize that he is my social life. Yup. Just him. Hehehe
It's OK. I really don't mind. I have friends. It's just when I do an inventory of my dear friends, they are all either married or with kids. Or both. These factors make it hard for any of them to be able to go out for cocktails. Well, the ones that live close by.
*Sigh*
I'm thinking about opening a bottle of wine and having a party of one. My other thought is to do a chocolate run because I am craving.

Engagement Pictures

Scanned at work so it may not be the best quality ... but at least you can see them!

Just click the X twice on Stevie if he is distracting (he won't go away but he'll minimize.)

Drunk blogging .... it's been a while

I feel a little guilty writing a drunk post after writing such a sincere entry. But the drink posts are far and few between so I'm going to anyway because I am motivated. I am motivated because I like to write about things that happen in my life. Hopefully to laugh about it later and think, "Hahaha, that wasn't funny then but it's funny now."
Here's the thing - the Man went home for the weekend and let me stay in the Bay Area (he usually likes me to go with him.) Around 8:00pm, I decided that I wanted to go out. Sort of. I wanted to go out near by and do something low key. So I called my cousin Rome because he's usually up for a good time. Sure enough, he proposed we go to a restaurant/club and promised it would be low key.
He brings a few friends and we go to this lounge in Fremont. Rome and I go to the bar and I see this girl that looks familiar. For the life of me, I don't know why she looks familiar. Then I realize, "Hey, I think that's my exboyfriend's girlfriend." I tell Rome and he is willing to mosey on over to her and ask. Because I've had one drink and I'm curious. After we get our drinks, we turn around and BAM.
There is my exboyfriend.
I can't explain it. It's not like I have strong feelings for him anymore. It's more like seeing a long lost classmate. That you weren't really friend with. You aren't sure you want to say hi but it's too late because you locked eyes.
Oh SNAP.
Yes, we said hi and we talked for a little bit. In case you've never had this run in let me tell you what it's like. Here is this person you used to love. This person who knew you inside and out a long time ago. But doesn't know you from a bucket of water now. It's strange.
I ended up drinking three more rum-and-diet-cokes. Because, at that time, it felt like the best thing to do when dealing with an awkward situation. A few things to note:
1. I was wearing my wedding ring and he did admire it
2. He introduced me to his girlfriend who I must give props to because she handled meeting an exgirlfriend VERY well.
3. I drank 4 rum and diet cokes total and ended up having to vomit in the restroom (but I somehow mustered up enough grace to clean myself up)
4. Yes, I realize that I'm one foot into the 30s age group and that I should know better. But between my cousin who can drink like a fish and play tennis at 7am the next day and having only a couple of exes so when I run into them, it's kind of shock, I think I can be excused for the party foul.
5. I didn't learn from the last time I drank with Rome that he is way too dangerous for me to party with
6. Enough time has passed that we can actually be friendly and I think this was the first time I wasn't super sarcastic.
It feels like it's been a lifetime since we broke up ... it's been six years. During this time I've always been 100% sure that it was the best thing for us to do, that we needed to break up because we were NOT meant to be.
But hot damn, it's still awkward as hell when we run into each other. Thank goodness for alcohol. Even if I had to flush some of it down the toilet.

Thankful

I know I'm a bit early but it's not really about Thanksgiving. I woke up this morning full of thanks in my heart.
Honest, it's totally true.
I woke up with a content feeling and I thought, "Life is good." And I wanted to write about. Because it's so easy to complain about what I don't have but wish I did, the money I don't make but wish I did, the body I don't have but wish I did and the things I haven't done but wish I did. It's just too easy. I know complaining and venting are good outlets and help keep me sane but I also believe in balance. So since I woke up wearing my Mary Sunshine hat, I figure I would just go with it.
My parents and I finally have a great relationship. Well, we've had one for about five years now but it's been a long time coming. They are NOT the type of parents that ever wanted to be their kids' friends. Oh no, there was a clear parental line that they not only drew out but stuck an electric fence, to boot. They were some serious disciplinarians when I was growing up. (Who had an 11:00pm curfew when she was 19 years old? *Hands flailing* Me, over here! Me!!!) But they've loosened up - well, my Dad said he's old and too tired to fight:) - but they also remind me that they will always be there. When I hated, HATED, my old job, I finally let out my frustration during a coffee date with my dad. He then told me, "You will never be homeless or worry about about food. As long as we're alive you will always have a roof over your head. You shouldn't be at a job that causes so much stress and anxiety." How could I not almost cry when he said that? Even though he and my mom have stayed at their jobs that they have sometimes hated, they believed that I should find my happiness.
My sister is my best friend, knitting professor, and the person I love to visit most. It's so funny how you can be very different and, somehow, be very much alike. She is on the quiet side, likes to hide from parties and very very smart (I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know half the books she mentions and some of the words she says) but when we're together, we are loud, we laugh a lot and she tells me exactly what she's thinking. I love it! I have such a good time hanging out with her and she is so kind. For the first part of my life, she was my second mom. Now that I can trusted to go out in public and not accidently kill myself, I think she's felt she can be more of a friend. I know not everyone has a good relationships with their siblings so I am very thankful that my sister and I are tight like this! *fingers crossed*
Oh, The Man. He is a funny character. So serious and quiet. He HATES parties or places that require him to socialize. He is extremely independent and probably never ever talked to anyone as much on the phone as he talked to me when we first dated. He's also the type to bottle up his fury and release it when no one is watching. The Man, whether he realizes it or not, isn't comfortable showing emotion. I've come to understand that he rarely let's anyone into his world. He's polite and he'll do small talk, but he is very private and keeps to himself.
Somehow, he let me barge into his world. He let me in. I get to see him talk baby talk to our pups. I get to hear him sing terribly to a song while he's using the wrong words. I get to laugh at him, too, and he doesn't get embarrassed! He just sings louder :) For better and for worse, I see all his emotions. And when I really think about it, I think I'm the only one that does. He is also my best friend. He can read me like a book. He knows when I'm in a rotten mood or when I need a hug (although now he just sticks a puppy in my face.)
There are also so many things I'm grateful for in my life. I love my job and really like my boss. I have a job that lets me work from home most of the time. I'm grateful that my nine-year-old car is paid off and will drive it until it gives out! I'm thankful I'm able to rent a cute house with nice neighbors. I love my pups - they are tiny people with fur coats. I am very thankful to have free puppysitting. This is probably the most Mary Sunshine of all but I'm thankful that all my loved ones are safe and relatively healthy.
It's so easy for me to forget the good things in my life because I'm quite good at bitching about the things that irritate me or go wrong. There's just so much! hehehe ... but I want to recognize all the good in my life, too.

Am I in the wrong job?

http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_7354128
Hot damn! Who knew my little 'hood paid our civil workers so much?!?! Now I know that most of them probably deserve the cushy salary but 879 employees with salaries over $100,000?! This article only highlights 280 of them. Fishy, very fishy. It makes me think why the Haystack isn't a whole heckuva lot nicer.
Oh well. While their salaries are awfully pretty, I have no desire to do any of those jobs so I'll keep on truckin' with my gem of a job but not so gem of a salary. Hehe.
Thanks to the local paper for bringing it to everybody-and-their-mamas' attention :)

Dreams and do overs

Dreams are a funny thing, aren't they? Well, I remembered mine from last night, which doesn't happen too often, so I'm going to write it down before I forget. Oh, and Cyn, it was about YOU.
Hahaha, don't be alarmed. It was brief and nothing too odd. In my dream, we lived very close to each other in LA. Anyway, we talked on the phone about as much as we do now and we never saw each other. It was time for me to move back and we realized that we should have made a better effort to see each other and appreciated the fact that we lived close by. Then I woke up. See? Nothing embarrassing or crazy :)
I have very few regrets. Things that aren't necessarily earth changing but would have made an impact in my little world. But this dream reminded me of one thing I would like to do over. wished I had enjoyed university life more. Especially now that I have responsibilities! I wished I had taken advantage of living away from home and asked my roommates/friends to go on road trips. I met some incredible people in college but we were either too lazy or complacent to think to leave the campus. And if you knew what parking was like in San Francisco, you would know that we had a point not wanting to leave our sweet parking spots. Sounds stupid but it was such a pain in the ass arriving for class 45 minutes later and STILL being late for class because I couldn't find parking. But I also know that we could have taken public transportation. I think it would have been so fun to go on a trip with Cyn and Kim or a few of my sorority sisters. Or just done day explorations because we had the perfect schedules to do those kind of things! Now we have work schedules, errands and responsibilities.
I wish I had been a nicer child to my parents. I was a typical baby of the family so I was a little bit spoiled and a little bit bratty. They were pretty strict with me so I retaliated with lack of appreciation and lots of attitude. Since my teen years, I've learned to appreciate how truly wonderful they are and to be eternally grateful for their unconditional love, I say "I love you" whenever I see them and will probably be making up for punk ass attitude for the rest of my life. If I could do it over, I wouldn't have been embarrassed to go out with them, have shut them out, and would have asked to go on more family trips. I would have also been smarter and insisted to join a sports team when I was a freshman and pushed to have a job during high school (my parents thought both would distract me from school work) so I would have been out of the house more and we wouldn't have driven each other so crazy!
Another thing I would do over is how I treated my childhood pup, Chewy. This is actually a difficult confession because I still feel really, really feel bad. Chewy was a sweet dog that was neglected. He was an outdoor dog that hardly went inside because he wasn't potty trained. He certainly didn't have the comfort of sleeping with us upstairs. He was so sweet but wild because we didn't train him. Anyway, he led a depressing life. I got him when I was in 5th grade and was a decent owner up until the end of high school. Then he was hardly walked and stayed outside, no matter if it was raining or very hot. When I went to college, he hardly received any attention. He was fed, given water and that was it. While my parents liked Chewy, too, they didn't know how to deal with an untrained dog (which, ironically, was the result of our decisions.)
Yes, I'm a pet lover. And a dog may be just a dog to other people. But it makes me cry to think of how much he suffered outside, how lonely he must have been because he had a selfish teenager (then college student) as an owner. Dogs have so much love to give and they are entirely dependent on their owners for their quality of life. Oh lawdee, I must sound like Oprah. For a long time, I didn't want another dog after Chewy passed away. I knew that I was a crappy owner who wouldn't or couldn't devote the time a dog needed. Even my sister would remind me how much time a dog required whenever I entertained the idea about getting a new one.
Years later, I started to dating Jon and he wanted me to get a dog. I told him, "No! I'm not over the loss of my dog yet." Chewy passed away in 1999. I told you I have a lot of guilt. But The Man really wanted a Doberman and thought it would be good for me to have a companion when I'm home alone. But the guilt! He obviously wore me down and four years later, I have TWO pups. And obviously I had a say regarding the breed. What a difference maturity and help make in raising pups - it's like night and day! I'm a much better owner but I still regret how neglected my childhood pet was and wish I could do it all over. I loved him but, honestly, my parents and I had no business having a dog.
But I have plenty of "no regrets" too. To just go over a few, I don't regret my long term relationship with the boyfriend before The Man. Oh, you bet I wish I could have a do over of how we ended so I could have really socked it to him! But I don't regret that relationship because I think I learned a lot and that being in a relationship all throughout college kept me out of trouble. I know that I'm a better girlfriend from that experience. I don't regret attending a State university rather than a U.C. I admit I'm envious of those with degrees from UCLA and UC Berkeley, though, but I met so many fascinating people at SFSU and learned so much from my professors. I loooooved my university in case you couldn't tell :) I definitely, DEFINITELY, don't regret briefly leaving non-profit because that experience made me realize that I am meant to be in non-profit (but I do regret the I-hate-my-job weight that I gained!)
There's plenty more I could write about but these are just the things off the top of my head. I would ask what you would do over or what you do not regret but it's up to you to share.