Wish I had been Drunk Baking but I'm stone sober

I made 13 dozen cookies today.
13 DOZEN COOKIES.
Here was my thought process:
"I want to make VS's Coconut Crunch Cookies."
"Hmm, not sure how many people I want to give them."
"I'll just double the recipe."
"Um, I think I doubled it. Or did I triple it? Hm."
Jeezus, that was a lot of baking. Now I remember why I haven't baked in quite some time.
I am giving each of my coworkers six cookies and a Christmas card. Nice huh? I'm also giving my neighbors a dozen cookies and some people who do the same thing as me but in different regions.
There are a butt load of cookies in my house. I think I'll still have leftovers.
On a completely different note, today was my parents' 43rd Anniversary! Isn't that great? Jon and I took them out for dinner. They're so funny - they didn't want to have a romantic dinner for two, they wanted to go out with me/us. Poor things, they're both trying to get over a cold! Anyway, Happy Anniversary, Ma & Daddy! (Not that they would ever be reading this. I hope.)

I'm still recuperating from the 13 dozen cookies.

It's the little things ... even at work

According to the Myers-Briggs test, I love me some compliments. Which is true as long as they're sincere compliments. But who doesn't?! Even the best of the "I" group can appreciate appreciation.
I keep saying how much I love my job. And even though I know it's still the honeymoon stage and that there will always be things that I won't like or get pissed off about, the ten months I spent at my former job were utterly painful and had made me into a different person. In my previous job, I didn't want to make the time to sustain friendships, enjoy my vices like spa treatments or do any fun things, in general. I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep because, yes, it was that bad. In the job I have now, I have a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That's pretty freakin' great if you ask me. Or I'll just tell you.
With any great job, there are challenges. I think for most people, including myself, a job that doesn't present challenges is boring. Well, let's just say that I have no time to be bored in my position. I knew this, however, coming into the job. I thoroughly questioned the person who was leaving the position (and, lucky for me, she was also my friend so I knew she would tell the truth) because I wanted to make sure that the position and the organization would be a good fit for me. She and the people I work for now made sure to tell me the good and the bad, like the fact that my territory is quite a challenge. I would never say that I wasn't warned.
I am a little competitive. I don't necessarily want to be better than everyone. But I want to be better than most and be as good as the best. Odd, I know, but I guess that's why there's the term friendly competition. Anyway, this presents a challenge since my territory isn't so hot, my sales numbers aren't so hot. I am happy (as well as my bosses) that I have had growth. And that's all fine and good but when I compare my numbers to my colleague's numbers, it can be a little discouraging.
I have a point to all this background information.
A few days ago, I was flying back from my work conference with a colleague. We were chatting on the plane when a woman from a row over said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. Do we work for the same organization?" Thankfully, our conversation was totally PC and we told her yes. She then told us her name and that she was an executive director at a nearby office. We told her our names. When I introduced myself, she said, "You! I know you! I know who you are!"
This is when I was momentarily freaking out because I was frantically trying to recall if I had done anything during the conference that I may not have recalled but would cause me great embarrassment.
I replied, "Why?" (I know, odd reply but I wanted to know why she knew me.)
She said, "You're doing really well! I see your name on the weekly sales reports and you're doing really, really well!!"
OK, this is when I thought she might have confused me with someone else because my numbers were nothing to write home about. I honestly was uncomfortable because I figured I would have to correct her and then feel all stupid because it wasn't me. It didn't help that the person I was traveling with had better numbers than me. See what I mean?
But she swore she knew what she was talking about. She asked, "Isn't your name usually highlighted on the weekly reports?" and I told her that yes, for certain things, my name is listed but my numbers were not the highest in our organization. But she was still really excited and said that the numbers are important but growth is too and that she was particularly impressed by my figures. She knew that I was fairly new to the company and was interested in knowing my strategies so she could share them with her new employee. Foreel?
This made my freakin' day.
Because, like I wrote, I love my job. But I'm not rockin' the charts the way my other colleagues are doing. And I know that I have had growth but the bottom line is revenue. And there are many others bringing in the dollah-dollah-bills, y'all. So I was over the moon that someone in a management position who wasn't my boss was commending me for my work. Hell yah it felt good! Because, like I wrote, I think everyone appreciates being appreciated. Because it feels goooood. And all of us hard workers deserve a pat on the back from time to time. (And bonuses, if at all possible.)

A sweet birthday

I had a very nice birthday yesterday. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary but it was still a really good day.
The Man didn't know what to get me and considering how much he/we have spent and how much we are going to spend on the wedding, I told him I wanted a Christmas Tree for my birthday (we haven't had the time to get one.) I wanted a tree that was smaller than five feet because the house is kind of small plus the pups might freak out and knock it over ... because they're mischevious like that. Anyway, I had a glorified bush for a Christmas tree last year that I set on the table but the damn thing died before Christmas. A Christmas tree would make my day.
Jon was so nice - he got off work early so he could spend time with me. Unfortunately, I had meetings all day but I was able to see him in between when I worked from home. I came home at lunchtime and he had the tree all set up. It was so cute! It was a little taller than me but it's still a small enough tree to fit perfectly in the corner of the living room. I love the smell of Christmas trees!
My dad knocked on the door shortly after I came home for lunch. I was surprised because I didn't expect him to come by - he wasn't puppysitting and I was going to see my parents later for dinner. I opened the door and he handed me a tree stand. How did he know Jon bought me a tree for my birthday? I thought that was really cute and gave him a big hug, thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
He had no idea what the hell I was talking about.
So I walked him to the tree, happily showing off more Christmas cheer in my home. My dad's brows shot up as he exclaimed, "I bought you a tree, too and it's in the truck!" My dad, knowing how much I love Christmas and remembering how I wanted a tree back in October, took the initiative to buy me a four foot tree.
Yes, I have TWO CHRISTMAS TREES for my birthday.
My dad is so sweet. He didn't know what to do. He just shook his had and said he wish he had known Jon was going to buy me one. I told him that I loved having two trees and that I'm making up for the fact that I had none last year. Now I have two! He laughed and told The Man that they needed to communicate more. Fat chance. I didn't mind the predicament. Of ALL the problems a person can have, figuring out where to put two Christmas trees wasn't a big deal. And a gal who LOVES HERSELF SOME CHRISTMAS can certainly figure out what to do with two Christmas trees.
The challenge was that my house is a lot smaller now. I have two bedrooms out of order - one is in the middle of being repaired and even The Man doesn't know the timeline and we had to move everything into the guest bedroom so that's why two rooms are "out of order" - so while I live in a three bedroom home, it's more like a one bedroom apartment. After a great deal of thinking (and me failing to convince myself over three hours that it wasn't weird to have two trees in one room,) I moved the smaller tree into my bedroom. It fits there comfortably and it's very pretty at night with the white lights. I go to bed and wake up smelling a Christmas tree! Perfect.
So that's my little birthday story. I feel loved because the two VIM (Very Important Men) in my life both knew that a Christmas tree would make a perfect birthday present.

ENFP

This past week, I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator at our work conference. I've taken this assessment before in college but forgot what I had scored. If you've never taken it before, it's a test (or "assessment" for those who freak out when they see the word, "test") that recognizes type preferences in communication.
I love this kind of stuff. It's kind of like your horoscope but ten times better because it's scientific. OK, so it's social science but scientific, nonetheless.
I know that we all would like to think we're complex people who can't be pegged down by labels. But I like these kind of assessments because it points out your own preferences, lets people know how they should communicate with you and helps you understand how to communicate with others that aren't like you. It can be used in the workplace and in relationships. Foreel. I eat this stuff up.
I wish I could remember what I had scored in college to see if I've changed or am exactly the same. I was a bit surprised when I found out my type -
Extraversion - tend to focus on the outer world of people and things
Intuition (don't know why it's represented by a "N" but it is) - tend to focus on the future with a view toward patterns and possibilities
Feeling - tend to base their decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person-centered concerns
Perceiving - tend to like a flexible and spontaneous approach to life and prefer to keep their options open.
Here is my description:
Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability improvise and their verbal fluency.
I was a little disappointed when I saw my description. Truly. I sounded like a gawd damn Care Bear. I wanted to be described as more of a hard ass, someone who didn't take crap and is stubborn because I think a person needs a bit of grit to be a leader in this world. But hey, maybe this is how I really am and this is how the world sees me. I have to admit, though, that I did identify with a lot of my description.
Well, I just HAD to find out what Jon was when I got home. Yes, I love this stuff that much. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is supposed to be taken in a controlled environment so we weren't allowed to bring the test sheets home. So what did I do? I whited out all my answers and made The Man take it. It may come as no surprise but we are indeed COMPLETE OPPOSITES. I was a little surprised just because I thought we might have two, or at least one, things in common.
He is ISTJ and here are his results:
Introversion - tend to focus on the inner world of ideas and impressions.
Sensing - tend to focus on the present and on concrete information gained from their senses.
Thinking - tend to base their decisions primarily on logic and on objective analysis of cause and effect.
Judging - tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled.
Here is his description:
Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-0f-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized - their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty.
It's so funny because the presenter had said that types are attracted to their opposites and, in our case, it's true! I think it's because we can't always the same all the time. For me, The Man helps me calm down, be low-key and enjoy the quiet. It would be exhausting to be the Energizer Bunny all the time. And I'm sure I add a little bit of chaos to his scheduled world :)

More of the little things ...

I am a happy gal. We cleaned most of the house and were able to put up Christmas Cheer. YAAAAA-HOOOOOOOO!! You know how I love me some Christmas. What was even better was that The Man helped A LOT. He moved furniture, he dusted and he STEAM CLEANED.
Was it no wonder why I said, "yes"? He is a dream.
We don't have a large house but it can be overwhelming to me. When I lived on my own, I would just clean as I would go along so the times of when I would need to do a major cleaning were far and few between.
Now, with two people and two dogs, I should do it every weekend. But I don't.
So I was really irritable this weekend because cleaning the house felt like such a daunting task. And, because of errands, I wasn't able to start until 6:00pm. I have no idea why but if I clean, it must be during the morning and early afternoon. It's quirky but trying to clean at night really irritates me. But when he saw that it was really important to me, The Man manned it up, picked up some paper towels and Endust, and went to work. I vacuumed my little heart out, cleaned the kitchen counters and fridge and cleaned our bathroom (we have two rooms out of order which is another reason I was irritated but that's a different story.) The Man steam cleaned our carpets and moved around furniture to prepare for a new desk. We finished most of the cleaning and I felt a great sense of relief.
The next day, the Christmas decorations went up. I had gone to town purchasing Christmas decorations last year. Wreaths galore, bows and ornaments. But when I pulled out the bins and put everything up, I was surprised to see that it really wasn't that much. I mean, the house is decorated but it's not as Christmas-y (or crazy) as I thought it would be. Maybe it will be different once we get a tree. And I'm just very happy that there is Christmas cheer in my home.
Anyway, I just had to give props to Jon because he feels like I slam him on this here little blog (I thought I wrote something very nice but he thought I made him sound like an anti-social hermit. Oops.) I think we all know I'm not just a huge fan but the fan club president. So just to make it perfectly clear, I really really appreciate him. And it's the little things like helping his woman clean that makes my world go 'round. And I don't mean pansy, pitiful help but full on, moving-the-furniture, thoroughly dusting, getting-all-up-in-the vacuum-to-take-out-a-nasty-clog-for-me help. Thank you!!!

I adore San Francisco

I am a gal from the 'burbs. I grew up in the suburbs and plan on raising a family there, too. But I've always admired San Francisco, like a pretty piece of jewelry. I could see it from across the bay when I was little girl and it just seemed so exciting and grown up.
I lived, worked, and studied in San Francisco for about five years. I don't pretend to know the city like the back of my hand - the way my native San Franciscan friends do or the ones that have lived there for a long time. But I am a lifetime admirer and today reminded me of that.
Today I visited a friend who lives in the Sunset district. We had breakfast near Ocean Beach. I forgot how much I loved the Sunset district. I was always there because of school and would sometimes kill a big gap of time between classes at Ocean Beach. I forgot how nice it was to be so close to the ocean. I could smell the salt in the air and it was cool without being too cold - perfect for walking around.
Then we drove to the Marina district to walk the pups and window shop on Chestnut and Union Streets. I also forgot how fun it is to leisurely walk and shop in the Marina district. The shops had their Christmas decorations up and it made me so happy! I also love browsing in shops that are only in San Francisco. People were out in their Uggs and stylish sunglasses, eating at yummy restaurants, shopping or walking their pooches :) It wasn't as busy as it usually can be during the weekends so I enjoyed walking on the bustling but not over crowded sidewalks. I also enjoyed how many places let pups inside so their owners can shop. So lovely!
I often forget how much I love being in San Francisco. Living 45 minutes away often feels like a different world and seems to make it too cumbersome of a trip to make. There are so many reasons to stay away - horrible parking, too cold, some places are dirty and funky, The Man isn't a fan of the city, and it's kind of a hassle with two dogs! But it's visits like the one I had today, especially during the holiday season, I remember why I adore San Francisco. It's such a beautiful place with so much diversity among its people, sites, food, and merchandise. I admit, I miss living, working and studying in the city! But I'm very thankful to live in the Bay Area where it's only a 45 minute trek to such a wonderful place.

Stuffed, bored and uninspired

I think I'm coming down with a cold (my nose has been running all day and now my throat hurts.) I want to go out but in my (small) pool of friends, the only ones that want to go out live in the city and I don't feel up for the drive.
Yes, I'm feeling lazy.
So I thought I would blog but I really don't have anything to say. I mean, I have a lot of little things I've been thinking about but they don't really tie together and nothing that I feel enough passion about to structure a whole entry around.
So here I am: uninspired, bored, stuffed from T-Day and stuffy. I think I just miss The Man. He's with his family this long weekend and I've come to realize that he is my social life. Yup. Just him. Hehehe
It's OK. I really don't mind. I have friends. It's just when I do an inventory of my dear friends, they are all either married or with kids. Or both. These factors make it hard for any of them to be able to go out for cocktails. Well, the ones that live close by.
*Sigh*
I'm thinking about opening a bottle of wine and having a party of one. My other thought is to do a chocolate run because I am craving.

Engagement Pictures

Scanned at work so it may not be the best quality ... but at least you can see them!

Just click the X twice on Stevie if he is distracting (he won't go away but he'll minimize.)

Drunk blogging .... it's been a while

I feel a little guilty writing a drunk post after writing such a sincere entry. But the drink posts are far and few between so I'm going to anyway because I am motivated. I am motivated because I like to write about things that happen in my life. Hopefully to laugh about it later and think, "Hahaha, that wasn't funny then but it's funny now."
Here's the thing - the Man went home for the weekend and let me stay in the Bay Area (he usually likes me to go with him.) Around 8:00pm, I decided that I wanted to go out. Sort of. I wanted to go out near by and do something low key. So I called my cousin Rome because he's usually up for a good time. Sure enough, he proposed we go to a restaurant/club and promised it would be low key.
He brings a few friends and we go to this lounge in Fremont. Rome and I go to the bar and I see this girl that looks familiar. For the life of me, I don't know why she looks familiar. Then I realize, "Hey, I think that's my exboyfriend's girlfriend." I tell Rome and he is willing to mosey on over to her and ask. Because I've had one drink and I'm curious. After we get our drinks, we turn around and BAM.
There is my exboyfriend.
I can't explain it. It's not like I have strong feelings for him anymore. It's more like seeing a long lost classmate. That you weren't really friend with. You aren't sure you want to say hi but it's too late because you locked eyes.
Oh SNAP.
Yes, we said hi and we talked for a little bit. In case you've never had this run in let me tell you what it's like. Here is this person you used to love. This person who knew you inside and out a long time ago. But doesn't know you from a bucket of water now. It's strange.
I ended up drinking three more rum-and-diet-cokes. Because, at that time, it felt like the best thing to do when dealing with an awkward situation. A few things to note:
1. I was wearing my wedding ring and he did admire it
2. He introduced me to his girlfriend who I must give props to because she handled meeting an exgirlfriend VERY well.
3. I drank 4 rum and diet cokes total and ended up having to vomit in the restroom (but I somehow mustered up enough grace to clean myself up)
4. Yes, I realize that I'm one foot into the 30s age group and that I should know better. But between my cousin who can drink like a fish and play tennis at 7am the next day and having only a couple of exes so when I run into them, it's kind of shock, I think I can be excused for the party foul.
5. I didn't learn from the last time I drank with Rome that he is way too dangerous for me to party with
6. Enough time has passed that we can actually be friendly and I think this was the first time I wasn't super sarcastic.
It feels like it's been a lifetime since we broke up ... it's been six years. During this time I've always been 100% sure that it was the best thing for us to do, that we needed to break up because we were NOT meant to be.
But hot damn, it's still awkward as hell when we run into each other. Thank goodness for alcohol. Even if I had to flush some of it down the toilet.

Thankful

I know I'm a bit early but it's not really about Thanksgiving. I woke up this morning full of thanks in my heart.
Honest, it's totally true.
I woke up with a content feeling and I thought, "Life is good." And I wanted to write about. Because it's so easy to complain about what I don't have but wish I did, the money I don't make but wish I did, the body I don't have but wish I did and the things I haven't done but wish I did. It's just too easy. I know complaining and venting are good outlets and help keep me sane but I also believe in balance. So since I woke up wearing my Mary Sunshine hat, I figure I would just go with it.
My parents and I finally have a great relationship. Well, we've had one for about five years now but it's been a long time coming. They are NOT the type of parents that ever wanted to be their kids' friends. Oh no, there was a clear parental line that they not only drew out but stuck an electric fence, to boot. They were some serious disciplinarians when I was growing up. (Who had an 11:00pm curfew when she was 19 years old? *Hands flailing* Me, over here! Me!!!) But they've loosened up - well, my Dad said he's old and too tired to fight:) - but they also remind me that they will always be there. When I hated, HATED, my old job, I finally let out my frustration during a coffee date with my dad. He then told me, "You will never be homeless or worry about about food. As long as we're alive you will always have a roof over your head. You shouldn't be at a job that causes so much stress and anxiety." How could I not almost cry when he said that? Even though he and my mom have stayed at their jobs that they have sometimes hated, they believed that I should find my happiness.
My sister is my best friend, knitting professor, and the person I love to visit most. It's so funny how you can be very different and, somehow, be very much alike. She is on the quiet side, likes to hide from parties and very very smart (I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know half the books she mentions and some of the words she says) but when we're together, we are loud, we laugh a lot and she tells me exactly what she's thinking. I love it! I have such a good time hanging out with her and she is so kind. For the first part of my life, she was my second mom. Now that I can trusted to go out in public and not accidently kill myself, I think she's felt she can be more of a friend. I know not everyone has a good relationships with their siblings so I am very thankful that my sister and I are tight like this! *fingers crossed*
Oh, The Man. He is a funny character. So serious and quiet. He HATES parties or places that require him to socialize. He is extremely independent and probably never ever talked to anyone as much on the phone as he talked to me when we first dated. He's also the type to bottle up his fury and release it when no one is watching. The Man, whether he realizes it or not, isn't comfortable showing emotion. I've come to understand that he rarely let's anyone into his world. He's polite and he'll do small talk, but he is very private and keeps to himself.
Somehow, he let me barge into his world. He let me in. I get to see him talk baby talk to our pups. I get to hear him sing terribly to a song while he's using the wrong words. I get to laugh at him, too, and he doesn't get embarrassed! He just sings louder :) For better and for worse, I see all his emotions. And when I really think about it, I think I'm the only one that does. He is also my best friend. He can read me like a book. He knows when I'm in a rotten mood or when I need a hug (although now he just sticks a puppy in my face.)
There are also so many things I'm grateful for in my life. I love my job and really like my boss. I have a job that lets me work from home most of the time. I'm grateful that my nine-year-old car is paid off and will drive it until it gives out! I'm thankful I'm able to rent a cute house with nice neighbors. I love my pups - they are tiny people with fur coats. I am very thankful to have free puppysitting. This is probably the most Mary Sunshine of all but I'm thankful that all my loved ones are safe and relatively healthy.
It's so easy for me to forget the good things in my life because I'm quite good at bitching about the things that irritate me or go wrong. There's just so much! hehehe ... but I want to recognize all the good in my life, too.

Am I in the wrong job?

http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_7354128
Hot damn! Who knew my little 'hood paid our civil workers so much?!?! Now I know that most of them probably deserve the cushy salary but 879 employees with salaries over $100,000?! This article only highlights 280 of them. Fishy, very fishy. It makes me think why the Haystack isn't a whole heckuva lot nicer.
Oh well. While their salaries are awfully pretty, I have no desire to do any of those jobs so I'll keep on truckin' with my gem of a job but not so gem of a salary. Hehe.
Thanks to the local paper for bringing it to everybody-and-their-mamas' attention :)

Dreams and do overs

Dreams are a funny thing, aren't they? Well, I remembered mine from last night, which doesn't happen too often, so I'm going to write it down before I forget. Oh, and Cyn, it was about YOU.
Hahaha, don't be alarmed. It was brief and nothing too odd. In my dream, we lived very close to each other in LA. Anyway, we talked on the phone about as much as we do now and we never saw each other. It was time for me to move back and we realized that we should have made a better effort to see each other and appreciated the fact that we lived close by. Then I woke up. See? Nothing embarrassing or crazy :)
I have very few regrets. Things that aren't necessarily earth changing but would have made an impact in my little world. But this dream reminded me of one thing I would like to do over. wished I had enjoyed university life more. Especially now that I have responsibilities! I wished I had taken advantage of living away from home and asked my roommates/friends to go on road trips. I met some incredible people in college but we were either too lazy or complacent to think to leave the campus. And if you knew what parking was like in San Francisco, you would know that we had a point not wanting to leave our sweet parking spots. Sounds stupid but it was such a pain in the ass arriving for class 45 minutes later and STILL being late for class because I couldn't find parking. But I also know that we could have taken public transportation. I think it would have been so fun to go on a trip with Cyn and Kim or a few of my sorority sisters. Or just done day explorations because we had the perfect schedules to do those kind of things! Now we have work schedules, errands and responsibilities.
I wish I had been a nicer child to my parents. I was a typical baby of the family so I was a little bit spoiled and a little bit bratty. They were pretty strict with me so I retaliated with lack of appreciation and lots of attitude. Since my teen years, I've learned to appreciate how truly wonderful they are and to be eternally grateful for their unconditional love, I say "I love you" whenever I see them and will probably be making up for punk ass attitude for the rest of my life. If I could do it over, I wouldn't have been embarrassed to go out with them, have shut them out, and would have asked to go on more family trips. I would have also been smarter and insisted to join a sports team when I was a freshman and pushed to have a job during high school (my parents thought both would distract me from school work) so I would have been out of the house more and we wouldn't have driven each other so crazy!
Another thing I would do over is how I treated my childhood pup, Chewy. This is actually a difficult confession because I still feel really, really feel bad. Chewy was a sweet dog that was neglected. He was an outdoor dog that hardly went inside because he wasn't potty trained. He certainly didn't have the comfort of sleeping with us upstairs. He was so sweet but wild because we didn't train him. Anyway, he led a depressing life. I got him when I was in 5th grade and was a decent owner up until the end of high school. Then he was hardly walked and stayed outside, no matter if it was raining or very hot. When I went to college, he hardly received any attention. He was fed, given water and that was it. While my parents liked Chewy, too, they didn't know how to deal with an untrained dog (which, ironically, was the result of our decisions.)
Yes, I'm a pet lover. And a dog may be just a dog to other people. But it makes me cry to think of how much he suffered outside, how lonely he must have been because he had a selfish teenager (then college student) as an owner. Dogs have so much love to give and they are entirely dependent on their owners for their quality of life. Oh lawdee, I must sound like Oprah. For a long time, I didn't want another dog after Chewy passed away. I knew that I was a crappy owner who wouldn't or couldn't devote the time a dog needed. Even my sister would remind me how much time a dog required whenever I entertained the idea about getting a new one.
Years later, I started to dating Jon and he wanted me to get a dog. I told him, "No! I'm not over the loss of my dog yet." Chewy passed away in 1999. I told you I have a lot of guilt. But The Man really wanted a Doberman and thought it would be good for me to have a companion when I'm home alone. But the guilt! He obviously wore me down and four years later, I have TWO pups. And obviously I had a say regarding the breed. What a difference maturity and help make in raising pups - it's like night and day! I'm a much better owner but I still regret how neglected my childhood pet was and wish I could do it all over. I loved him but, honestly, my parents and I had no business having a dog.
But I have plenty of "no regrets" too. To just go over a few, I don't regret my long term relationship with the boyfriend before The Man. Oh, you bet I wish I could have a do over of how we ended so I could have really socked it to him! But I don't regret that relationship because I think I learned a lot and that being in a relationship all throughout college kept me out of trouble. I know that I'm a better girlfriend from that experience. I don't regret attending a State university rather than a U.C. I admit I'm envious of those with degrees from UCLA and UC Berkeley, though, but I met so many fascinating people at SFSU and learned so much from my professors. I loooooved my university in case you couldn't tell :) I definitely, DEFINITELY, don't regret briefly leaving non-profit because that experience made me realize that I am meant to be in non-profit (but I do regret the I-hate-my-job weight that I gained!)
There's plenty more I could write about but these are just the things off the top of my head. I would ask what you would do over or what you do not regret but it's up to you to share.

Engagement pics, a wedding and Halloween delight!

The Man and I are extremely happy (and relieved) with our engagement pictures. I LOVE our engagement photographer. In fact, Jon and I said that if we hadn't already put down the deposit for our photographer in Hawaii, we would seriously consider having our engagement photographer travel for our wedding. He was so easy to work with, very patient with our questions and has comparable prices. It's really easy to tell that he loves his job and takes great pride in his work. Most importantly (and I believe this is just as important as taking good photos,) he provides great customer service. Didn't pressure us or rush us and helped us understand the difference between eight photographs when all of them looked the same to us! He had taken 85 pictures of us and (thanks be!) there were some photographs that we really really liked. Yes, I have fully embraced the weddingness and am glad we decided to take pictures to commemorate our engagement.
Make no mistake, though. We ended up dropping a butt load more money than we thought we would. I have no doubt that my bank is going to call me again to make sure my credit card wasn't stolen (they did this when I put down a deposit for the venues and bought my wedding sandals all in one weekend.) But we truly hope and believe that this will be our first and last marriage so we chose 1o different photos that we can treasure when we are old. Two are with the puppies.
We also attended Kim's wedding this weekend. It was beautiful. I felt like such a sap because I teared up when she came down the aisle. She had a gorgeous dress that made her looks like a princess and she was simply beautiful. Her wedding was at a vineyard in Livermore and the weather couldn't have been any better! The sun was out, we had a breathtaking view of the vineyard and a nice breeze to keep us cool. The bridesmaids wore pretty deep red gowns and all her guests looked so nice. I feel like I'm doing a review of her wedding. I don't have any pictures but I'm sure Kim will post some once she comes back from her honeymoon. I think she had the best reading I've ever heard at a wedding - "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Suess.
I'm very happy for Kim. It's hard to believe we've known each other since 1999 when we were college roommates for two years. She has always been driven. She was the editor-in-chief of our university paper and is an editor now. Kim is so smart yet humble, very funny and very sarcastic. I think she's such a talented individual and I'm really thankful we have been able to stay friends for eight years. I'm not that great at maintaining friendships (I suppose because it takes effort and I need to make that more of a priority) so I treasure our friendship. I'm so happy she has found someone that knows how great she is and can match her intelligence and wit. I think she likes being challenged :)
Last but not least, Halloween pics. Because we are "that couple" and have been "that couple" for quite some time, I will admit that we took them to a Doggie Halloween Party so we could show off their costumes. And here they are for your enjoyment (as well as mine:)

"We are in hell. Save us."

Wild Boar.

Miss Piggy!

Bumble Bee!

I'm sure that at this moment, they wished we had human children (as oppose to furry) so we wouldn't focus so much on them. Little do they know that life is really good right now and they will probably won't get nearly as much attention once the fur-less children come. Heaven help us all when that happens.

Drove to Sacramento and back ...

... and those five hours give a person a LOT of time to think.
I first thought of favorite childhood smells. (The word, smell, has a negative connotation doesn't it? Oh well.)
My dad's cologne and aftershave mixed together: what he would smell like when he would kiss me good bye before he left for work.
My mom's shampoo, perfume and alcohol (rubbing, not the drink): my mom worked - and still does - in a laboratory and that's what she would smell like when she came home. My mom was a very strong presence in my childhood and probably the person I spent the most time with in my family while growing up.
My parents were no joke. My dad willingly worked graveyard so someone would ALWAYS be home when I was home.
Strawberry Shortcake Doll: she always smelled like baked goods. Yum.
My Little Pony: I just liked the smell of the plastic. I know - odd.
Lunchbox: unlike some other kids, I didn't let my lunchbox get nasty. Mine always smelled like sandwiches, specifically Wonder Bread.
Puto (it's not a bad thing): my mom would bake these steamed rice cakes all the time when I was a little kid.
Freshly cut grass: Now that I think about it, my ghetto school probably had more crab grass than anything else but it smelled really nice when they mowed it.

Let's see, what else did I think about on my drive ...
Oh yes, it's a good thing I don't drive for long stretches on a regular basis. I drive A LOT for my job but there are lots of stops. What's the difference? I have a much bigger urge to snack when I'm driving for a long period of time. I tend to splurge on road trips. So I gave into an urge and bought an Oreo Cookie Shake at Jack in the Box.
Damn, it was good.
Yes, I regret it now but I was a happy driver for a good half hour.
OK, those are the only random thoughts I can remember from my five hour commute.

Clearly not a model

We took our engagement pictures yesterday. My sister found our photographer among four other choices (Thanks, Sister!), I narrowed it down to two and had Jon make the final decision - he feels included and I'm happy with either decision - Win/Win. We picked Santa Cruz for the location because it's always been a favorite place for us to visit and we're getting married on/near the beach so there's kind of a theme.
We wore what seems to be what every other couple in the universe wears when shooting on the beach - white collar shirts and jeans. I almost changed last minute because I'm not keen on white collar shirts but The Man really wanted us to wear the uniform ... so I did. I hate wearing crispy fabric.
We ended up having fun. The photographer was very nice and tried to make us at ease. He wanted us to be natural (ironic since we have never cuddled on wet sand nor make it a habit of being affectionate in front of a stranger but I get where he was going with it all) and The Man, a shy individual, even felt comfortable with him. Best of all, the photographer incorporated the puppies so we hope to have at least one good picture with the girls! I opted to wear my hair down which was pretty tricky considering the wind was whipping it all over the place. But I don't like how I look in photographs wearing a bun or ponytail. The one thing I was worried about is he never "fixed" us - never adjusting hair or clothing out of place so I'm really hoping that nothing was askew or funky because we will certainly have captured it.
Side note - while I was able to fit into the bridesmaid dress from six years ago, I did find out that I gained weight! Yes, I got cocky when I found out I had lost a good amount of weight at My JC meeting two weeks ago and am now paying the price. Anyway, I worried about looking chubby, especially in our seated poses. Bless the photographer for putting me in a lot of poses behind a sitting Jon and giving him a hug so I didn't have to worry about sucking in my tummy. I love those poses!!!!!
After we were done and headed home, The Man and I talked about how we hope we took nice pictures. We're a little worried because we seriously haven't ever taken a picture where we both felt like, "Hot damn, we look good!" but the photo shoot is done and it's up to the hands of our photographer. OK, I am more than a "little worried" because, whileI don't mind posing for pictures (that's all fine and good and even fun,) I get anxious thinking about what the pictures will look like. (I suppose that's why I like digital - "Oh that's a horrible picture!" DELETE. "Ahhh.") I'm not photogenic. And I'm not writing that hoping someone will argue with me and write back, "But you are!" because I know the truth. I throw away or delete all the pictures I hate and only show photos I like. Don't you? So it's a little more nerve wracking knowing you paid money for someone to take your photo and it's ugly. Oh well. At least it's one more thing crossed off of our To Do list! Hallelujah.

Quick updates then I'm out!

1. Got into a near shouting match with someone at work. Can't share the details (remember I like my job) but I was P-I-S-S-E-D. Dark alley + me + her = ass whoopin'. Ok, not really but I can visualize.

2. Taking engagement pictures this weekend (unless we're rained out this weekend) in Santa Cruz. We aren't known for taking great pictures together but maybe a professional can help :)

3. I can fit into a bridesmaid dress that, for the past year, has been too tight. This was a wedding from six years ago. I was putting clothes away in my closet and it fell off of the hanger so I thought, "What the heck?" and tried it on. I still have 10 lbs to go, I think (I didn't weigh myself at JC last week because I KNEW it was all sorts of bad.)

4. Jon has been WONDERFUL during this chaotic time for me. He cooks or gets his own dinner with minimal griping and doesn't bitch at all when I'm on the computer way late at night (as long as it's real work and not visiting blogs. Ah hmm.)

5. Just finished our wedding registry with two stores. We've been putting it off because we kind of didn't want to do it (our families are already spending so much on travel) but we were advised to do it anyway. I thought it would suck but who knew you can do it all online and not step foot into the stores? Awwwwesoooome.

6. Assembling invitations tomorrow night. I have a wonderful and talented friend who designed our invitations. Simple with a little tropical kick. Love her, love the invitations and love saving us $$!

Morbid outlook on things?

I don't know. I thought I didn't like cocky people because they were just too confident. Maybe I'm just jealous that they can be so cocky and I can't.
But they are pretty irritating.
I think a little humility or humbleness is good for the soul. Or, at least, the personality.
The problem is that I think that I could use a little something and I think it's beyond confidence.
Here's the thing, I've been doing pretty good at work for the past three weeks. I've been either #1 or #2 for recruitment of clients. And rather than feeling like, "Ah-yahhhhhhhhh" I'm more like, "Ohhhhh deeeeaaaar" because I feel like there is nowhere to go but down. That I'm going to have a big fat goose egg this week because I've tapped out all my resources.
This can't be healthy.
I remember my senior year in college. For the first time, it looked like I was going to get straight As in all my classes. Maybe it helped that I was no longer active in a sorority AND I didn't have a boyfriend (I guess they really are distracting! Who knew my parents were right.) Rather than feeling proud of myself, I actually freaked out, CRIED and called my mom because I felt like there was a greater chance to fail since the only place go was DOWN.
Thankfully I was talking to my mom over the phone rather than in person because I'm sure she was rolling her eyes and would have had to fought the urge to slap me. Because why couldn't I be effin' happy?!
Even writing this is uncomfortable for me because I know I'm tooting my own horn in order to illustrate how I may have a morbid outlook on things. At least, professionally (or academically.) There are other things I don't mind giving myself props for - having healthy relationships, a relatively clean house, good hair (if there's anything I may be vain about it's probably my hair because I really like my hair - thanks to my trusty flat iron and awesome hair stylist. OK, I take it back because now I'm getting nervous that my hair is going to fall out or break off. I suppose I think I can also get punished for being too cocky.) But everything else, I don't like to talk about UNLESS I feel like someone is attacking me and telling me I suck. Then I'm defensive.
So yah. I think that while I was doing well at work for the past few weeks, I'm going to plummet this week and be the one with the worst numbers. I can't help it.

It's like a month long period or something

I know myself enough to know that I get very emotional before my period. And I can go through all sorts of emotions in a short period of time. I can get angry (bitchy) on a dime. Or start crying when I see a Hallmark commercial. It sucks but I can usually check it. And if I can't check it, I can acknowledge when it's happenening so I don't take it too seriously. But I'm no where near my Power Week. Is it the lack of sleep? Stress? What the heck?
I damn near cried when I saw the video samples of a videographer that I was considering for our wedding. No really. These were complete strangers and the samples brought tears to my eyes because they looked SO HAPPY. And I suppose it was because I knew that they were giving really emotions because they weren't acting, they were in the moment, experiencing their wedding day.
For shit's sake, get it together, woman.
Needless to say, I booked the videographer.
I missed the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. I had to choose between The Office and Grey's Anatomy and since Grey's was such a disappointment last season, it was an easy choice. So I decided to watch Grey's this morning on the internet. I cried a little bit. I don't even think it was that good!! But there was a scene with a man who was going through a life-or-death surgery (shocker) and his family was saying "goodbye" to him just in case he didn't make it (another shocker.) I didn't sob like when Denny died but, again, I had tears in my eyes.
I WANT TO KICK MYSELF IN THE HEAD.

Very tired. And grumpy.

I've been working 10-15 hours a day, depending upon the day. I've also been working on Sunday afternoons and evenings.
I love my job. I probably just don't sound as convincing.
I really still love my job. But I AM TIRED.
I also "volunteered" on Sunday, waking up at 3:30am ... and it is still affecting me four days later!
What is cool is that my hard work is paying off. I told my boss that the work has been taxing but as long as it's producing positive results, I don't mind as much. I was SERIOUSLY in a bad mood yesterday and was worried because I know myself enough to know that I probably shouldn't have been in public. I wasn't going to be spreadin' no sunshine.
But I ended up gaining three more clients yesterday. And it felt good!
But I'm tired. And grumpy. Poor Jon, he had to check me yesterday and asked me why I was in a bad mood and, more importantly, why was I taking it out on him?! I immediately gave him a big hug and a big apology. Oops - bad girl!
All right, that's all I got. I hope everyone is having a fantastic week and, Sister, I hope you are having a beautiful birth-week :)
PS: I have to "volunteer" again this Saturday. Thank goodness for small blessings - it's in the afternoon and for four hours only this time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER!!!!!

My sister is amazing. She is one of my best friends, a wonderful sister, lovely shopping partner, an even better knitting partner, fabulous coffee date, spectacular Matron-of-Honor, and a fantastic unofficial wedding planner. Sister is poised, charming, beautiful, silly, funny, sharp, adorable, and everything good rolled up in one. She loves all things that are pretty and has an eye to know when she can make something into pretty :) She is one of those people that can make beauty all around her. Sister almost always has a positive attitude (and she makes me laugh when she is in a stink mood) and I adore being around here because the day just seems better. I love her so much!!!!!!
Yes, she really is all that and a bag of chicharon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER-GIRL!

(she hates "sister-girl":)

Seriously, who's screwing with me?

How long has my profile stated that I'm from:
Bay Area : California : Afghanistan
??????????????????????????????????????????

OK, OK, I hear you. I HEAR you.

I was hesitant to post pictures of my dress because I didn't want to hear that you didn't like it. I could pretend that I didn't care but let's be honest, I would be sad. Because I really like it. And I bought it sooo ... that's that.
Jon thinks it's pretty and I think it's comfortable. It's simple but has a little sparkle. And we all know I love some sparkle ;) The sandals will look nice with it, even though no one will see them. But I love them so it is oooo-kaaay. I also plan/hope/dream to have glamorous hair and make up.
Anyway, here it is:

Fabric : Belsoie Crepe
"Wide V-neckline accented with embroidery and beading, shirred empire waistline band, and A-line hem with a pick up train at the back. "

Isn't it a great beach wedding dress? Besides, white is so overrated. I mean, really - the jig is up. Just kidding. My dress is white but the only picture they had online was in "honeydew." Like how it gives me a butt? Bonus.
I bought the dress in my current size so it's guaranteed to fit. But I still need to work out because it's a formfitting. And I'll need to wear Spanx. Or something Spanx-like. Nothing like a unitard-bikershorts contraption with a vagina slit to make you feel sexy.

One-two combo

Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, I got hit by the Crappy Week truck.
I worked 15 hours last Thursday. I woke up Friday morning with a crummy attitude.
Amazing how a "sentimental" mood can turn into "pissy" on a dime.
No, pissy isn't the right word. More like crummy.
I just wanted to hide from the world rather than go-get or charge it like I normally do.
Since it's my recruitment season, I still had to visit clients. Probably not the best time to visit clients. Or try to recruit them. (Although being in a pissy or bitchy mood would have been worse. But crummy isn't much better.)
I ended my day around 5:30pm. I poured a glass of wine, popped Stranger than Fiction into my DVD player and crawled into bed. I fell asleep around 7:00pm. The Man had a hard time understanding. I normally turn to him and ask him for a hug. But I wasn't depressed. I was feeling crummy and exhausted. If he had wanted to crawl into bed with me and hide from the world with me, I would have let him. But the couch where he sat wasn't good enough for that. I think he was a little hurt. I tried to explain it wasn't about him. But you know when you're in a crummy mood, explanations tend to be short. I gave up easily and retreated to bed. He came into the bedroom periodically to give me a kiss and make sure I hadn't imploded. He didn't have to worry, I was too tired to do that.
I am so tired. I have to work Sunday so I can get prepared for the week and tie up lose ends from Friday. I am tired. Yes, yes, yes, I still love my job but this is NOT the best part of it. Plus side? I recruited six clients this week. But I am exhausted!

PS: Please please please let my dress look good on me. I'm trying it on today. It would be a wonderful way to end a chaotic week. Oh please. (If it does not, expect a very ANGRY entry to come this afternoon.)

Oh PMS, why do you affect me so?

I've been sentimental these past few days. I actually missed The Man when I was working yesterday. WTF?? I was moved when I was writing my bulletin-thingee for MySpace that was dedicated to my #3, Cyn because it made me miss her. WTF? I couldn't watch anything that had to do with September 11th because within 30 seconds, I would have tears in my eyes (maybe that's normal.)
I think I may need to put a chick flick on and just have a wailing party. Isn't that horrible? I hate that there may actually be a NEED for me to just have a big fat cry fest. Why is that???
Dammit, I just want to bleed already and get this damn PMS over with!

Want to see my wedding sandals????

I had seen them online so I bought them. They came in today. I tried them on (along with two other pairs of sandals) and I loooooooooove these. I absolutely adore them. I sincerely hope that the dress works out because I think they will go well with potential wedding dress.

The sandals cost more than the dress. But I looooove them. Kim had said I would know when I had THE dress because I would love it. I was kind of worried because I didn't love it. The Man liked it a lot so I was sold. But I wasn't in love with the dress. Don't get me wrong, I like it a lot and am over the moon that he thought I looked beautiful in it (THAT was truly the selling point for me) but I wasn't going ga-ga over it.

But these sandals. I am ga-ga over them.
Yes, they are flip flops! But they are beautiful. And an added bonus? They don't make the "Flip flop" noise! You may not agree that they are worth the price. But I absolutely love them and my mom, a gal who loves herself a great deal, even said that I should keep them. They are just ME. MEANT for me. Especially since the reception is actually ON the beach and I'll have to walk in the sand.

I think they are perfect. *Sigh*

PS: Yes, I have a much more positive wedding planning outlook now that (1) the venues have been confirmed and (2) Sister has been alleviating a lot of the stress of finding and interviewing vendors. It's becoming more fun and less stressful. Of course, there are the shoes. They make me happy.

More wedding, work and pictures ... finally!

I should be better at posting but all my pictures are on my personal computer and I always use my work laptop. So I've been putting it off.

Wedding - my Sister has been awesome. She was worried she wasn't earning the title of bad ass MOH (OK, I add the "bad ass" and she just says "Matron of Honor") but she has been fantastic! Check it out:
- She negotiated with the photographer and I just put down the deposit. She loooooves his work and since her eye for photography is better than mine, I trust her. She was so enthusiastic that they had a rate I could work with that it was infectious and now I'm super happy too :)
- We pretty much have a videographer because the photographer has added that component to his business (unless the DVD sample they mail out to me is terrible so fingers crossed!)
- We also have the reverend that I wanted (didn't negotiate but that's OK. And Sister is the one who contact him first to make sure he was available and had a decent rate.)
- Sister has initiated contact with a musician recommended by J.A. so cross your toes for that. Oh, just cross everything and hope everything will all pan out.
- After that, she will be tackling hair and make up stylists!
Sister is even trying to help with stuff that stuff I didn't ask her to which is very sweet of her. I'm trying to figure out what I want as a head piece because I don't want a veil. I'm not sure if I want a haku (head lei) like I had for my graduation ceremony or a rhinestone head wreath (like a tiara but, well, a head wreath.)

I'm so ticked at myself. I was at my JC consultation two weeks ago (I"ll get to that in a minute) and I was flipping through O Magazine. I saw these crystal sandals that I thought were cute. "That might be cute for the wedding!" But I figured I would find something like it on the internet. My 'tarded self did not think to write down the maker or rip out the ad. Side note: No, I wouldn't have felt guilty because I pay good money for JC and yes, I feel like I am entitled to rip out an add from a magazine, if I choose. Call it wrong or right, but that's how I feel. Yet I didn't! And OF COURSE I haven't found them anywhere because I don't know the name! I bet you're thinking, "Well just go on Oprah's O Magazine website, silly." I did. But it was an AD not an article so it's not on there :( I just went on to Zappo's last night, though, and bought three sandals to see which I liked best because, just like Nordstrom, they have an outstanding return policy. Another side note: How scary is it that my credit card company just called me today about "suspicious activity" on my credit card and they're really not suspicious because they are all purchases from me! Ay-yi-yi. My poor pocket book. So hopefully one of those sandals will work out. I have a feeling I will probably fall in love with the one that costs twice as much as my dress because that's just how it works out, right?

Speaking of dress, the dress shop ordered a sample of the dress I think I want (remember, I tried on something similar by a different maker so there's no guarantee that this dress will fall on me the same way) and it should be in by next weekend. I'm so scared! I hope it looks good because the three Nordstrom dresses were HIDEOUS on me. I looked either pregnant or too busty. Ick.

One last bit of wedding news and then that's it. Wedding-ed out yet? Thanks to J.A., I FINALLY have an on site wedding coordinator! My ceremony site is the same place she had her wedding ceremony. She recommended her old on site coordinator when I told J.A. how I'm in limbo between the Sales and Catering people. I called the gal and she said that she would find my file and assign my event to her. Yippeee!! It was so frustrating not being able to move forward with room rates (because there are supposed to be special "wedding" rates for me and my guests) and not being able to discuss the details of my ceremony. Because, if you couldn't tell already, I just want to get all the planning over with as soon as possible so I don't have to think about it until April.

Jenny Craig - Not sure if it's the food or the work stress but I've lost a total of seven pounds between WW and JC and I have 11 more to get to my goal! I'm not making time to exercise so I'm really depending on the program. It's about nine months since I've been this weight (I'm not sure exactly when I got to my heaviest but I remember I finally got on the scale last April after months of avoiding it and saw that I had blown up since my last weigh in.) I'm certain that having a date to work towards also helps drive my desire to lose the weight.

Work - I thought I would want to write about it but I don't. Nothing much has changed since I last wrote. It's still stressful and I think about it a lot. I'm still working long hours and on the weekend but I love it 10x more than my old job so I suppose it's not that bad.

And finally! Here are some pictures on our day trip to Santa Cruz for The Man's 30th birthday -
I don't know why he always has to make a face. I told him that the odds were hard enough of us both looking good in one picture and that he was just making it slim-to-none with his funny faces. (I think he's still handsome in the picture but I can't tell him that because he would just get a big head:)
Aren't our kids cute? They really are our kids. I mean, we can't handle the human kind yet but Piko and Pili are prepping us. And it's sort of scary just how much we adore them. The Man just bought those sun shades that suction cup to the passenger side windows so the puppes won't get hot in the backseat. See, told you. The Man and I also talk about how our puppies make us temporarily forget about our stress from work. They really do!
I thought this was a really cute picture because, while the day was overcast, it was still humid. So Pili just collapsed right next to the water bottle. What you can't see is that she next rested her chin on the side and stuck her tongue out to drink the water. Oh, I just realized you can also see the poop bags. Ignore the poop bags.
I still think it was a beautiful day even though it was overcast. The beach, along with our puppies, help put Jon* and me in better moods. I think both are therapeutic. Yet free! :) So that's how we spent The Man's 30th birthday. I know Pookie is thinking right now, "Uh-uh! I know how Jon releases his stress - freakin' Kung Fu movies!" She's right. But the puppies and beaches are something I can actually enjoy.

All right, that's most of the stuff going on in my little ol' world right now. Hope all is good with you!!

*I'm with Kim - I can't get used to the Jun/Jon changed either! So I told Jon that it was going back to Jon and he said that it's not neccessarily wrong. Evidently his family writes Jon, Jun or John. Well damn. So it's back to Jon y'all!

Work ... wedding ... wedding ... work ...

I've been getting up at 5:30am every day. For no good reason, really. Haven't been going to the gym (I've been a bad bad girl since I sprained my ankle) or anything of the like. I just take a loooong time getting ready. I like to make coffee, watch the news, go online, prepare for work in case I forgot to do something the night before and THEN get ready. I'm out the door by 8:00am. I can't imagine having kids right now. For all the things I forget to do before I leave and then the multiple times I come back into the house because I forgot to bring something with me ... let's just say that if I brought a kid into the picture, I wouldn't leave the house 'til noon. Like I said, I get up at 5:30am for no good reason.
Tell me this - would you guys like me to STOP blogging about the wedding? I feel like it's getting old. Anyway, if it gets annoying, let me know (in a nice way, please.) But that's all I've been doing lately. If it's not working 12-14 hours, it's doing wedding stuff.
By the way, I got to give props to Sister. She has been a tremendous help in taking the recommendations I received from different sources, screening out the mediocre ones, making calls and negotiating in her sweet way. ("My sister works in non-profit, by the way. Oh yes, she's actually working right now. On Labor Day Weekend! So I'm helping her out with the planning. Did I tell you she works in non-profit?")
That just leaves me with the ceremony and reception venues. Easy right? Hell-mutha-effin-no. For pete's sake, I thought it would be easier and faster than this. I still need to receive final confirmation and information from both places and one is taking its sweet ol' time. I seriously hope that the wedding coordinator is better than the sales manager or I'm going to be sad. Or pissed. Probably both. I'm crossing my fingers for a kick ass wedding coordinator. Please cross your fingers, too.
As for work, I worked on Monday but still feel like I'm behind. I actually don't mind that much that I had to work but I do mind that I feel like I'm still behind. That part stinks. Yes, I still love my job but I will be extremely relieved when the next six weeks pass. Until then, I'm allowing myself not to have gym time (I really am prepping for work in the morning) and two cups of coffee a day. But after that, it's back to Power Yoga and just one cup a day!
So that's it. Oh, and the husband-to-be and the pups. Oh yes, the pups. We went out to Santa Cruz this past weekend to celebrate the Man's big 3-0!!!!! I will post those soon.
I hope you're all having a great week and THANK GOODNESS it's Wednesday tomorrow! :)

I know how to scare the hell out of The Man

I just get my hands wet, shake my hand a couple of times and the ring flies off.
Oops.
I'm not a size 4.5. Nor a 5. Evidently, I am an unavailable 4.75.
So we've established that I can't wear my ring in the water.
(No really, he almost shat bricks when he saw the ring come off and then yelled at me that we should have stuck to the size 4.5. OK, he didn't yell. But he wasn't pleased.)

Pooped again! But for a different reason

It is crazy busy at work now. We're visiting 10+ potential clients a day and having to do data entry and prep work for the following day. I worked about 13 hours yesterday!
And I have six more weeks of this!!!!!
To be fair, I visited 14 sites because I wanted to shorten my Friday. See, as long as we visit 40 potential customers a week, they don't care how we slice it. But I think I won't make 14 a daily habit.
Yes, I still love my job. But I am T-I-R-E-D. And I didn't do all the data entry I wanted to get done because I started making mistakes and I was getting PISSED. I told Jun that I may have to work one day this three-day weekend which happens to be his birthday weekend just so I can finish on the data entry and follow up. I think he's tired too, though, because his current job stinks so he isn't crying a river. Too bad because it would have been nice to enjoy three days of nothing. But I know I would get frustrated if I didn't devote more time to prevent my own personal chaos.
I am POOPED.

Mondays are tough days

Back to the daily grind, yah? Nooooo!!!!
This weekend was fun. Jun's best friend, Al-Dizzle, and his bomb diggity wife, Vero, visited us for the weekend. (You guys, I have been spelling The Man's nickname wrong this entire time! It sounds like "Jon" but it's spelled "Jun." Crazy ass Filipinos! Joke lang.) They are so much fun! I just laugh and laugh when they are here. And Jun (not to be confused with his non-existent alter ego, Jon) is so at ease and can really be himself around them. Vero commented how both Al-Dizzle and Jun comes off so serious when you first meet them, which is true, because they are shy. But they are actually quite funny. And dorky! :) In a good way. Plus they let us tease them! We're always giving them a hard time, pretending different scenarios that happened between them when they were going through puberty - they have known each other since they were 12 years old! Anyhow, this couple is so much fun. I have to confess, though. I was so worried that the house smelled like dogs (because that is NASTY) that I lit candles, plugged in air fresheners, toasted bread and popped popcorn before they arrived just to make sure!!! I know, I'm a dork, too.
Jun knew he wanted to ask Al-Dizzle to be his best man for our wedding. Since it's going to be a small one, we both only wanted one attendant. When he proposed, I asked him when he was going to pop Al-Dizzle the question and he said he was going to wait until they visited. But he tends to forget things so I asked him again when they were here. Jun replied, "Don't worry, I will." I figured he wanted to take Al-Dizzle aside from their crazy significant others and ask him in private.
We were eating breakfast at IHOP and Vero and I were talking about presentations and how they can be a pain in the ass. Vero said that was a big reason why Al-Dizzle doesn't want to go back to school. Jun asked, "Oh, you don't like giving presentations?" and he replied no. Jun then asked, "Well, do you want to be my best man?"
"Wow." Pause. "Do I have to give a speech?"
"Yup."
Men.
So we went home and Al-Dizzle tried on a few of Jun's different barongs to see what would fit best before we ordered it. Vero said that he was truly surprised and didn't expect to be asked to be the best man. Al-Dizzle is a great guy and I think Jun made an excellent choice.
In case you're wondering, Sister is my matron-of-honor (aka Bad Ass MOH.) And I didn't even ask her. I think I told her over the phone before I even got engaged. I believe it had been a while back and I just attended a very big wedding. I said something like, "Hey, if I ever tie the knot, I don't want any bridesmaids. I just want you to stand up for me." It wasn't even a question! Oops. But I think she knew it was a given. I hope!
Vero and Al-Dizzle, I'm so glad you were able to finally visit us. Please don't make it a one time deal! We hope to see you a little more. Xoxo!

I tend to look a gift horse in the mouth

What does that mean?! I mean, I think I know what it means which is why I used it but after I typed it I thought, "Who the hell came up with that when all they really meant was, "I don't just appreciate when good things happen, I want to know why it happened!"" Anyway, completely off the point but I just had to express my opinion.

Husband-to-be's best friend and PookiePie came to visit this weekend. Whooppeeee! They even came along to an appointment I made at a bridal boutique - just because. So did The Man (I know, an unconventional thing to do but I want be to pretty not just for me but for him, too. And when he just couldn't express what he had in mind when I asked what he would want me to wear on our big day, I thought I'd just bring his butt along!)
I never knew how ugly and bulky wedding dresses looked on a hanger until we went to this boutique. I cringed at the dresses the consultant was giving me. They looked like 80s prom dresses! Thank goodness that these type of dresses are just the ones that are ugly as sin on the rack but a whole lot different when put on. I think the tulle, satin and/or sequins (or sparkly crap) smacked of 80s to me so that's why I hesitated. "But I thought she liked sparkles?" I do. But if it looks beadazzled, I'm not a fan.
I tried on about 10 dresses and the very first one I put on is the one that Jon and Vero really liked (Vero's honey was a non voter.) We narrowed it down to two dresses and, still, they liked the very first one I put on but they liked the second one's material. Well what-do-you-know! The favorite could come in that material, too!
In less than an hour, I had my wedding dress. I'm still going to try on the three I ordered from Nordstrom (they have a great return policy so I ordered the top three to try them on and then decide) but it looks like Jon really liked the one we saw at the bridal shop. It will most likely be that one.
It just seemed too easy. I started to have doubts at the end of the day, wondering if I picked something to just get it over with. But Pookie said if I liked it, Jon liked it, and a third party (her) liked it, it's probably it.
So yah, I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth b/c it just felt too easy.
And no, I'm not posting a picture. I guess because I think it's a whole lot prettier on and not much to look at in a picture. And I don't want to be talked out of it!!!

So much to do, such little time

No, not THAT. Just everything that needs to be taken care of before the weekend. But guess what I get to look forward to this weekend?
PARTYING WITH THE POOKSTER!
Ahhhhh-yahhhhh.
It's like Christmas day for me and The Man. His best friend and wifey have never visited us before but they're a-comin' this weekend! We are going to celebrate Pookie and Jon's birthday by doing I-don't-know-what but I'm sure it will be fun. I even cleaned this past weekend (well, I put off cleaning an extra week because I didn't want to clean twice.) But there's still so much to do-
1. Go to the laundrymat to wash the comforter
2. Take Pili to the vet (her ear is icky)
3. Grocery shopping - although I doubt we'll be cooking so maybe I can skip that
4. work work work!!!!!!!
Jon is cleaning the kitchen so that's not on my list. Hehehe
Work is still great but it's about to get super busy. It requires me to do some prep work the day before every work day. I'm sure that it's not a big deal but it's a change in schedule. Maybe it's a blessing. I could really use a break from the wedding stuff. I also realize that I have to be better at follow up when it comes to work. I think I'm pretty good at it but when the volume increases, it's hard for me to keep up and keep it straight. Anyway, back to Pookie and her hubby.
Oh yes, I told her that Jon was looking forward to barbequing for her Hubby. We even talked about buying his birthday present early. (It's a grill. You are shocked.) But he's been working 12 hour days and I've been working really early days and that just makes for two lazy people when we get home. So we haven't bought the grill yet. I'm secretly (well, not anymore) glad because I hate washing his BBQ equipment and the dishes caked with BBQ crap. He said we can go out instead. Hurray!!!!
So I'm scrambling around trying to get stuff done before the weekend. But none of it really irritates me. Well, other than the fact that I've been having sleepless nights.
I love me some sleep. I miss it so much. This 5 hours of sleep deal is kicking my ass.
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Sweet Jeebus. I had to get up at 4:00am today to take my parents to the airport. Thanks, Sister. I'm kidding. It's not her fault. If my parents save $60 by taking a butt-crack-early-in-the-morning flight, by golly, their baby can certainly take them to the airport .
But I can't go back to sleep because I have a 9:00am meeting in San Francisco. Ai-yai-yai.
Oh and I have to add one more thing about the Pookie-Mama. I adore her because we BOTH were relieved after we met each other. Seriously, how much does it suck when you hate your boyfriend's/husband's best friend and/or his wife? Her hubby is a peach - he's very nice, you can tell he loves and respects his wife, he's attentive to his family, and quiet (like his best friend) which makes his humor that much more funny when he starts cracking jokes. Pookie likes to tease both of the guys, just like me, and is just a funny gal! And she even tried to rig her bouquet toss so I would get it. She knew me for two days, bless her heart! But I have an unreasonable fear of the bouquet toss so I stepped out of the way. That's beside the point.
They are our favorite couple to hang out with (not including family or couples that we haven't hung out with yet so I don't want any nasty comments!!!!) which is really sad because they have a ton of couples they hang out with in their hometown. And here we are, when The Man and I are feeling social, pining away for a couple that is nearly three hours away. But they are so much fun!
OK, I'm done. And now you know why I'm super happy they're coming, even when I'm pooped from no sleep :)
Oh, and ...
Happy Birthday, Pookie-baby! You saucy thing, you! ;)

Things are looking up

Maybe being on the verge of my period has contributed to my impatience. Although I've always been this way so maybe not.

In any event, there appears to be a few ways Jon and I can go about getting what we want. It's just that I want to get the big tasks (like getting a venue) out of the way. I'm starting to get really busy at work and expect to get slammed within the next two weeks. When you have that looming over your head, you want to check off as many things on your personal list as you can, you know?

On something completely unrelated but a lot more fun, we made a purchase only crazy dog lovers would make ... see, Piko loves loves loves (I mean, LOVES) to stick her head out of the car window. If she can't stick her head out of the window while we're driving (because, say, we're on the freeway and I don't like my hair whipping me in the face nor do I want to worry about her falling out of the car) she tries to sit on the console so she can see above the dashboard and through the windshield. This girl loves road trips.

We joke around how we should buy her goggles, a bomber jacket and a scarf (kind of like Snoopy) because she loves to go on car rides, peaking out the window. Well, we stopped by a local pet store, Wags & Whiskers, and bought Piko a pair of goggles. Or "Doggles."

Seriously.

How fierce is my puppy?! These aren't great pictures of Piko (we've all agreed that she is much cuter in person and just not that photogenic. And by "we" I mean me.) But how fantastic are these goggles? DAMMIT, they are awesome.

OK, The Man is giving me flack for posting ugly pictures of our puppy. But I couldn't wait show off her Doggles. I promised him I would post better ones when she's actually in the car, sticking her head out with the shades.

But just in case you don't believe that Piko is a very pretty Pekatese, here's a picture to remind you:

Love / Hate

I love being engaged to Jon. Pookie's right - he's my lobster:) I am thrilled to be marrying my best friend and starting new adventures with him.
But I am beginning to hate planning my wedding. It's true! Isn't that terrible? We just wanted something very simple. After talking to Jon (I'm happy to say there were a series of discussions rather than arguments) and after many discussions, we have agreed that we will have a small ceremony with parents and siblings on Oahu in the Spring. He is shy and private and I respect that. We both also come from huge families.
We would then have a wonderful party in the Bay Area to celebrate with our extended family and friends in the Fall. It may not be the least expensive way to go but this was an arrangement that made both Jon and me happy. So all rightee then!
I started making calls to my #1 choice in Oahu because we chose mid-April as our desired ceremony date. I will not disclose the venue yet because (1) if I go with them, I'd rather not mess up my karma by ripping them a new one on my blog and (2) I really really want this place and don't want to talk too much about them until I figure out if they'll work with me or not.
But who knew that if you don't book the ceremony AND a banquet room (because using the restaurant on the property, for whatever GD reason, doesn't count) you can only book six months in advance. Well that doesn't help when you want to make sure your mama and Sister have a freakin' place to stay when and if the wedding takes place! And at choice #3, if you only book the ceremony (because restaurant doesn't count) you can only book 31 days in advance. What?!
Well, you say, why don't you just use one of their banquet rooms? I'd love to, I would reply. But most banquet rooms, at least, the PRETTY ones, require a minimum of either 50 or 100 people.
I have 21.
Well, you say, what about the rooms that require less people? I would then reply that the rooms require a minimum of 30 people - which is fine because I'll probably have to feed some of my vendors and the minister - are boring hotel rooms with fold-away walls (and that would be OK if I decided to have my wedding here in the Bay Area ... not when I'm having a destination wedding!) Or, the other choice is outdoors in a beautiful area but they will charge me $2,800 NOT INCLUDING FOOD.
Sweet Mary Mother of Pearl. I'm ready to kick some ass.
And the best part?
I've been talking to the assistant because the manager has been on PTO. The catering manager finally came back towards the end of the week so I left her two messages. Haven't heard back from her yet.
I'm thinking about getting married in Mexico at an all inclusive resort. I don't need this kind of stress.
But I'm still happy to be engaged to Jon. I just hug him when I get upset.
He's been getting a lot of hugs the past couple of days.

I felt obligated to write about this because I gave Kim and Tater a hard time not updating me on their wedding plans. I have a feeling that I may be posting a lot of angry entries. I apologize in advance.

It's all about timing

I worked a long day yesterday. It was fun. But looong. We were at the first 49ers pre-season game and out in the sun for about five hours, handing out giveaways, soliciting donations, and raising awareness of our organization. After the first quarter, we all splurged a little, buying garlic fries and other yummy ballpark treats, and enjoyed some of the game. We all decided to leave early, in the third quarter, because it was getting very cold. I stopped by my parents house to pick up the pups. Yes, they puppysit! But I didn't stay long because I was exhausted. So I said a quick "hello-thank you-goodbye" and headed home. The puppies, used to being picked up earlier than 8:00pm, were eager to go home too. I parked, entered through the garage, walked into the kitchen and saw this-

I thought two things: "Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH!" and "Oh no. OH NO. I smell like the outdoors and have garlic breath!"
I followed the white path lined with candles and rose petals. I couldn't believe it. It was really very romantic. The path lead through the kitchen into the living room hallway and ended in the bedroom: There Gil was, on one knee, with a ring, a bottle of wine and two dozen red roses. His proposal was short and very sweet. And of course I said yes! So he slipped the ring onto my finger.
What touched my heart and just confirmed that this man is the PERFECT person for me is what he said next. He told me that just a few minutes ago he had been on his way to my parents' house to ask for their blessing. But he saw my car in the driveway and was sure I had seen him drive past in his work truck. (I didn't.) He realized that I was an hour early and raced back home because all of the petals and unlit candles were laid out. He knew he had only a few minutes to light all the candles and finish setting up. After he told me this story, he asked me to take off the ring because he wanted to show it to my parents. I said, "Oh." (Just kidding, I understood.)

I gave him a kiss, a big hug and wished him luck. He went off to ask for their blessing and pretended that he had not asked me already. Poor guy, he was flustered because he had dressed up, wearing a barong (traditional filipino dress shirt) and slacks, ready to meet with my parents but had to rush and beat me back home! He still looked very handsome, though :)

So he went to my parents' house with my ring and a gift for each of them. My dad, ever the serious person, asked him his plans (oh goodness!) but both my mom and dad were happy and, of course, they gave their blessing.

I apologize for the informal announcement but you know me, I'm a terrible storyteller, especially if I have to repeat it more than once! I tend to leave out all the good stuff. And he had worked so hard to make this a special and memorable proposal. And it was. I love him very much and we are very happy to be engaged!
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Here is a picture, Kim: